Chapter 5

Disclaimer: These characters DO NOT belong to us. Well...with the exception of Melinda Flint ;D...and Jonnah Bloom...and other minor characters.

Rowiez A/N: Happy reading XD

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The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and she had no worries what so ever. Melinda Flint Longbottom was truly happy for the first time in her life.

She was married to whom she thought was the most delectable man alive (who was also a rabid beast in bed) and had the best job too.

After the couple's honeymoon, they had decided to live as muggles to get away from their struggles in the Wizardry World. They moved to a tiny magenta colored flat in London and both got jobs as drug testers. Who knew that people got paid to do such easy things? Unfortunately, drug testers take big risks and she had to learn this the hard way. Having yourself sound manlier than your husband isn't such a bad side effect right?

Melinda heard a tapping at her window and noticed an owl carrying a large cardboard box. (Although she was cut off from the Wizardry world, she decided to continue receiving owls) It was brown with what looked like pink blotches of paint. This only made her think of one person...


Melinda trembled with an unexplainable alarm, 'Oh gods, please don't be...'

The 'Signed Draco-Bloody-Sexy-Malfoy' scrawled almost illegibly on the box confirmed her nightmare.

"Damnit Malfoy, leave me alone!" groaned Melinda. She never really knew why she loathed Draco Malfoy, but ever since he started stalking her she didn't really give a damn if he was the so-called sexiest man at Hogwarts. And anyway, Melinda wasn't into those kinds of guys. She really loved being the dominant one.

Melinda carefully opened the parcel and saw mounds of bubble wrap and newspaper poorly taped together. "Must be something very fragile if it needs this much support," Melinda thought with strange possibilities popping into her head.

"HONEY BUNNY!" a voice -which sounded VERY eager and excited- called from the other room, "C'mon honey, I'm all tied up and ready!"


"Hold on Neville, just wait a minute or two. I heard if you wait longer you'll last longer!"


As she came close to the last layer, she noticed a sticky green liquid with remnants of a black crust gushing out. It smelled foully of something that had been cooked too long.


She took a very soaking note out of the liquid:

Dearest Melinda,

I know how much you love the Muggle dessert JELL-O, so I decided to bake you a loaf. I hope it reminds you of myself and how much I love you. My dear Melinda, did you know that I have X rated dreams about you each night? I dream about every curve of your body and how you smell of oysters. I can still remember the essence of your breath. Ahh, the crisp scent of crushed ginger and birth control pills. I remember how your hair dye would never stay in your hair because of the natural oils -- Oh, I wish that every whiff of air I took contained the fragrance of your oily, oily hair. As you may know, I am here at Hogwarts for a custodial job. I wanted to let you know that I have never forgotten about you. Every candy wrapper I throw out reminds me of you, every used condom I find in the dormitories will remind me of you and every single hairball will remind me of you. I will always remember the time when I found that thong of yours in that janitorial closet after I found Longbottom shagging you. I kept that thong, although it is brown and soil, beside my heart. Oh, I wish I could clean every single toilet you sat on. Just remember that every time I jack off, you will be roaming around in my head. You make me hard.

-Draco

Melinda groaned and threw the letter into the fireplace.

He never stops trying does he?

"I'm coming Neville! I hope your ready for the biggest orgasm you've ever had!" Melinda squealed so loud that their neighbors could possibly hear. She grabbed her whip, pulled off her knickers and jumped on to the squeaky bed.


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Ginny Weasley was stomping off to Potions, shouting at every person that laid eyes on her. She hated the patch on her eye since she got peanut butter in her eye. It made her look like a bloody Pirate!



She took a seat next to Colin Creevey as their professor, who surprisingly wasn't Snape, came into the room.


"Hi, I'm Ms. Jonnah Bloom, your substitute Potions professor for today! You may know me as your new Muggle Studies professor. I will be filling in for Professor Snape because he is APPARENTLY in no shape to teach and is most probably gay!" Said a woman with black shoulder length hair.


The class began to laugh and started whispering things to each other on her last comment.

"SHUT UP!" Ms. Bloom bellowed. She took out a puppet, which looked like a House Elf and began to rip it into pieces with her bare hands. She threw it onto the ground and started stomping on it until it was as flat as a sheet of paper. "THIS WILL BE YOU IF YOU CONTINUE TO TALK!"

The class shut up and stared at her with fearful faces. "Now, where was I? Oh yes, for today's class I will want you to write a one-page essay on a Muggle drug. I know it's not much to do with Potions, but I'm a bloody Muggle Studies professor and not a damn oily Potions wanker!"



Ginny decided to choose Sildenafil Citrate, also known as Viagra for her project, whatever that was. As she looked at the label she smiled to herself.

VIAGRA is a prescription drug that works by increasing blood flow to the penis. It is not a hormone or an aphrodisiac. Once you take it, VIAGRA can work in very quickie. VIAGRA works for 4 hours and can be taken often.

"This will surely be fun," Ginny giggled.

"Yoo-hoo, Colin dear?" Ginny cooed as she innocently batted her lashes, "Want to do me a favor?"

"Sure thing Ginny! Anything for you!" Colin retorted. Ginny smiled at the thought of how easy it was for her to manipulate men.

"Well this medication I'm researching on asks someone to eat it, well uh to uh..." Ginny bit her lip, "for sneezing? And yeah I'm sure I heard you sneeze earlier so if your willing to help --"


Colin quickly grabbed the pill out of her hand and swallowed it. "I bet it's working already Ginny!"

"Yes... It is working already. It sure is..." Ginny couldn't help but let out a little giggle as she saw the sudden bulk in his pants.

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Rowiez A/N: aha...ew..

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