)( And now, it's my turn...
DEMONICANGELIC...)(
***
Jack sat slumped in the corner of the cockpit drunkenly swaying, and muttering unmentionables under his alcohol and smoking-induced wheezing.
"Whaaat iss it, baaaby..?" he slurred in an inappropriately sex-driven way.
She could feel his glares cut through her. He always made her feel uncomfortable when he'd been drinking, mostly because all he wanted was sex, undiluted - and sometimes forceful - sex.
She inhaled deeply and sighed as she called out the co-ordinates of the nearby ship. "Grid Co-ordinates 306.9 through 307. - Jupiter Mining Vessel Red Dwarf, Crew four, one Human, one Felis-Sapiens, one android, and one hologram. Supplies, near nil. Weaponry: nil. Jack, will I make contact? They seem to be no threat."
He sat in his silence, his lustful stares continued to slice up whatever was left of her heart. "Open contact lines, Computer. Let's see what we've got here...."
"Lines opening, contact made." An 'H' appeared on the screen, followed by a forehead, followed closely by the remaining features of a coily-headed man. He grinned pleasantly. She took this as the hologram.
"We see your ship has more than the required supplies of weaponry, food, water, et cetera. Ours, on the other hand... is low on everything. And I mean everything. Permission to board? Oh, where are my manners! I'm sorry ma'am, Captain Arnold J. Rimmer. 'J' for Jonathan..." He bowed his head in false respect.
"Captain," She began, glancing frequently at the alcoholic mountainous slump in the corner. He had fallen asleep and was snoring, wheezing and whistling loudly. She sighed with relief. Now she had a tiny bit of freedom. "I don't think you boarding here would be best. Permission for me to board your vessel?"
Captain Rimmer nodded authoritatively. He paused. "Sorry, you must state your crew situation before clearance can be granted." He paused again attentively. "Please?"
Jade glanced at the darkened corner, to the groaning silhouette, to the stubbled, blotchy wreck. The wreck of the man she once loved, the wreck that was continuously being eaten away by parasites of alcohol, nicotine, slobbiness and disgusting, blatant smarminess. Her love for him had been devoured by those parasites more than a few years ago. They had been floating aimlessly out in the god-foresaken, mechanical pupae for too long.
"Well...?"
"Tw.... One. Just one. Definitely one. No-one else. Just one. Female. Unattached. Without uncertainty, one."
Jack shuffled, mumbled and groaned in his drunken slumber. She froze instantaneously, her teeth cutting into her chapped lips. What if they'd heard him?
"Erm...what was that?" Rimmer enquired, attempting to eye the cockpit behind her. She made damn sure he couldn't, being as inconspicuous as humanely possible, whilst bobbing her head to block his line of sight. It was then her stream of thought broke its banks, and an idea flooded into Jade's mind. She glared into the corner as she spoke;
"Oh Captain, it appears my ship...." She began pressing random buttons, pretending to look at screens, flick switches, and generally look around the room in 'worry'. "...has a fault in fuel and power....leakages."
Rimmer saw no point in leaving her like this, abandoned on a faulty, dated ship. After all... she was alone. And Red Dwarf had a vacancy for a female crew member... hell, they had quite a lot of female vacancies, in fact. Especially after that unfortunate accident three-million years ago...
"Clearance granted. Come Aboard..."
DEMONICANGELIC...)(
***
Jack sat slumped in the corner of the cockpit drunkenly swaying, and muttering unmentionables under his alcohol and smoking-induced wheezing.
"Whaaat iss it, baaaby..?" he slurred in an inappropriately sex-driven way.
She could feel his glares cut through her. He always made her feel uncomfortable when he'd been drinking, mostly because all he wanted was sex, undiluted - and sometimes forceful - sex.
She inhaled deeply and sighed as she called out the co-ordinates of the nearby ship. "Grid Co-ordinates 306.9 through 307. - Jupiter Mining Vessel Red Dwarf, Crew four, one Human, one Felis-Sapiens, one android, and one hologram. Supplies, near nil. Weaponry: nil. Jack, will I make contact? They seem to be no threat."
He sat in his silence, his lustful stares continued to slice up whatever was left of her heart. "Open contact lines, Computer. Let's see what we've got here...."
"Lines opening, contact made." An 'H' appeared on the screen, followed by a forehead, followed closely by the remaining features of a coily-headed man. He grinned pleasantly. She took this as the hologram.
"We see your ship has more than the required supplies of weaponry, food, water, et cetera. Ours, on the other hand... is low on everything. And I mean everything. Permission to board? Oh, where are my manners! I'm sorry ma'am, Captain Arnold J. Rimmer. 'J' for Jonathan..." He bowed his head in false respect.
"Captain," She began, glancing frequently at the alcoholic mountainous slump in the corner. He had fallen asleep and was snoring, wheezing and whistling loudly. She sighed with relief. Now she had a tiny bit of freedom. "I don't think you boarding here would be best. Permission for me to board your vessel?"
Captain Rimmer nodded authoritatively. He paused. "Sorry, you must state your crew situation before clearance can be granted." He paused again attentively. "Please?"
Jade glanced at the darkened corner, to the groaning silhouette, to the stubbled, blotchy wreck. The wreck of the man she once loved, the wreck that was continuously being eaten away by parasites of alcohol, nicotine, slobbiness and disgusting, blatant smarminess. Her love for him had been devoured by those parasites more than a few years ago. They had been floating aimlessly out in the god-foresaken, mechanical pupae for too long.
"Well...?"
"Tw.... One. Just one. Definitely one. No-one else. Just one. Female. Unattached. Without uncertainty, one."
Jack shuffled, mumbled and groaned in his drunken slumber. She froze instantaneously, her teeth cutting into her chapped lips. What if they'd heard him?
"Erm...what was that?" Rimmer enquired, attempting to eye the cockpit behind her. She made damn sure he couldn't, being as inconspicuous as humanely possible, whilst bobbing her head to block his line of sight. It was then her stream of thought broke its banks, and an idea flooded into Jade's mind. She glared into the corner as she spoke;
"Oh Captain, it appears my ship...." She began pressing random buttons, pretending to look at screens, flick switches, and generally look around the room in 'worry'. "...has a fault in fuel and power....leakages."
Rimmer saw no point in leaving her like this, abandoned on a faulty, dated ship. After all... she was alone. And Red Dwarf had a vacancy for a female crew member... hell, they had quite a lot of female vacancies, in fact. Especially after that unfortunate accident three-million years ago...
"Clearance granted. Come Aboard..."