JANINE1
***
Although Jack and Lister had used the past 24 hours to insult Rimmer as much as possible, he had not been there to hear any of it. He had spent a short while the evening before helping Jade move her large collection of discs into her new quarters, then left her alone as she had wished. He smiled as he walked off, her poetry disc safely concealed in his pocket.
He felt an odd excitement as he walked back to his quarters, quicker and more conspicuously than usual. By the time he reached his hall he was nearly jogging, just so he could get in his quarters. He wondered what would be on the disc. Something personal of hers? He shut and locked the doors of his quarters, and placed the disc in the vid screen.
On the screen came a large selection of titles to select from. All with very creative, poetic sounding names. "Slowly losing it", "A place in my head", "My innocence lost" Rimmer noticed all the titles seemed to be mildly depressing. He selected a few and skimmed them, without actually reading them. Not being very familiar with literature himself, he had trouble understanding the metaphors.
Then one of the titles caught his eye, worrying him, particularly. "My Suicide". Rimmer selected the poem and began to read it, carefully reviewing every single line, trying to figure out what it all meant.
"The next door I open will let the secrets out So I stand in limbo waiting for a sign I need a conclusion to this life I have all I wanted; what I craved All I lost doesn't matter anyways I saw the world with its imperfections I saw enough to realize what I have is nothing I am so weak yet you perceive me as strong Why do you think I'm right I can tell I'm wrong I protected you but still you hate me I came close to loving you but now I turn away Inside I now know that I should be ashamed Through out all my life I never understood your pain But now as I stand here waiting all night I've created chaos, a blight on all your life Now I understand why you used to cry Now I know why I should have died I can see my reflection inside your mind And now I'll leave you standing in limbo all night And now I'll leave you crying because this isn't right A lonely thought that once was so lost Has become lodged in my mind And now I know why countless ones before chose this very path Because it was an answer to a question that they never asked A question that was started by a very lonely thought So now I'll wave to you goodbye And take one last ovation Throw my self into the sky And now destiny has been for filled And fate has now been answered That lonely thought has left my mind as I begin to fall My one last ride that will end it all"
Rimmer didn't know what to make of it. Was she really suicidal? Was she contemplating killing herself? What was going on to make her feel this upset? Rimmer looked at the date on the entry. It was recent. He knew it had something to do with Jack. It had to.
***
Although Jack and Lister had used the past 24 hours to insult Rimmer as much as possible, he had not been there to hear any of it. He had spent a short while the evening before helping Jade move her large collection of discs into her new quarters, then left her alone as she had wished. He smiled as he walked off, her poetry disc safely concealed in his pocket.
He felt an odd excitement as he walked back to his quarters, quicker and more conspicuously than usual. By the time he reached his hall he was nearly jogging, just so he could get in his quarters. He wondered what would be on the disc. Something personal of hers? He shut and locked the doors of his quarters, and placed the disc in the vid screen.
On the screen came a large selection of titles to select from. All with very creative, poetic sounding names. "Slowly losing it", "A place in my head", "My innocence lost" Rimmer noticed all the titles seemed to be mildly depressing. He selected a few and skimmed them, without actually reading them. Not being very familiar with literature himself, he had trouble understanding the metaphors.
Then one of the titles caught his eye, worrying him, particularly. "My Suicide". Rimmer selected the poem and began to read it, carefully reviewing every single line, trying to figure out what it all meant.
"The next door I open will let the secrets out So I stand in limbo waiting for a sign I need a conclusion to this life I have all I wanted; what I craved All I lost doesn't matter anyways I saw the world with its imperfections I saw enough to realize what I have is nothing I am so weak yet you perceive me as strong Why do you think I'm right I can tell I'm wrong I protected you but still you hate me I came close to loving you but now I turn away Inside I now know that I should be ashamed Through out all my life I never understood your pain But now as I stand here waiting all night I've created chaos, a blight on all your life Now I understand why you used to cry Now I know why I should have died I can see my reflection inside your mind And now I'll leave you standing in limbo all night And now I'll leave you crying because this isn't right A lonely thought that once was so lost Has become lodged in my mind And now I know why countless ones before chose this very path Because it was an answer to a question that they never asked A question that was started by a very lonely thought So now I'll wave to you goodbye And take one last ovation Throw my self into the sky And now destiny has been for filled And fate has now been answered That lonely thought has left my mind as I begin to fall My one last ride that will end it all"
Rimmer didn't know what to make of it. Was she really suicidal? Was she contemplating killing herself? What was going on to make her feel this upset? Rimmer looked at the date on the entry. It was recent. He knew it had something to do with Jack. It had to.