Disclaimer: If I owned them, would I be writing about them so pathetically? Probably yes. But that's beside the point. I don't own them.
Crim Lady Remy uses chere and cher so much to piss everyone off and seeing how far he can go. Gradually they will turn into homme's and mon ami's. I spelled Rogue wrong because apparently I'm a latent dyslexic and I really didn't see it. I've corrected it now, so thanx.
Romyrover It was a rhetorical question. Do you know what that is? Anyway, hop on the train and see the sights. There will be Romy somewhere, I can feel it.
Isandahalf wow, a gold…a real gold star? Oh, look at it shine.
A.M.bookworm247 (Does the internet count as a book, then? Cool, that mean's I'm being cultural!) Oh, no, not at all, my dear. He's pissed with capital Pee *grin* Oh well, that's life for ya. Yes for you, not for me, I'm still fishing.
Lyranfan I suck at details generally, I mean, have you seen any detailed description of clothing, scenery or anything? My lame excuse is that I just like to stimulate your own imagination. In reality, I suck word-finding. And as for Ororo, I just like it when she bashes Remy about a bit, you know, put him in place. But she pays a prize for it, you know. The prize of being called Stormy. *sigh*
s.o.s.rogue Batman is probably immune to puppy-dog eyes, because Batman's a bat-like guy and bats are blind.
Ima Super Mute Ant Someone with a name so original as Fissie has reasons to like other people's names that have more imagination going on. One update coming up.
A/N This is a very short chapter, because the time for the Grand Dinner is almost there and I don't know what to put in and leave out. Besides I like to end my chapter's consistently, you know, with the whole if-you-can't-beat-them-thing I've got going, because that's the title and the title deserves to be listened to. (Except last chapter, but I just had to do the 'bang, you're dead thing', it's so…comic-like.)
4. And now for something completely different...
Fissie
The control-room was quieter than a church on Monday. The new kid, had beaten their feral instructor. He had just signed his doom.
Down in the battle zone Gambit retracted his bo-staff and in one clean movement swung in into a pocket. Then he reached out a hand to help lift Wolverine. Wolverine however, pushed him aside as he stood up with little effort and stomped out of the room. This was not such a bad thing, had it not been for the fact that the door was still closed and Wolverine couldn't find the calm-hand patience required for waiting for the door to open. Six claws found their way through the metal door, leaving it to rest in pieces.
''If y'r goin' t' y'r secret hidin' place, y' won' find Jack dere anymore!'' Before the word anymore was fully pronounced, Wolverine's voice was heard in outrage as he stormed back in outrage
''WHAT?! You...'' More words were unnecessary, claws proved the point quite well.
The fight was on again. But this time Gambit had to use his charged cards to shake off the almost feral Wolverine. Had to, yes, without them he would have long lost. Gambit was swift, fast and cunning, but Wolverine's brute force made it difficult to dodge every attack. And the attack kept coming. Wolverine's healing factor kept him from getting tired. Gambit, however, had no such luck and after twenty more exhausting minutes of utter war, he was beaten. His coat was thrown somewhere in a far corner of the room, his shirt was almost entirely ripped off.
~What a body...Whoa, hold it right there, what did Ah just think? Ah did not think that. What was Ah thinking? Like I could ever touch him. Not that Ah would want that, anyway he's just an arrogant Swamp-boy with a great body. Damn, there Ah go again. Stupid.~
Meanwhile, Gambit was pinned to the wall, too tired to move. Wolverine's fist found its way to Gambit's face. He expected a full blow to the jaw, but instead Wolverine's fist simply placed itself under his chin. Two claws extended, one on each side of his face. The third claw extended just a little bit.
''Give me one reason not to make Cajun shish kebab out of your pretty face right now.'' Gambit gulped. Not even charm could help him out of his.
''Because, I buy y' a new bottle?''
''That's a fact, bub, not a reason.''
''Because, I be real good and never do it again?''
''That's another fact.'' The third claw extended just a bit more, touching his chin only very slightly. Gambit had to think fast.
''Because, I'm just a lowlife swamp rat unworthy to soil y'r claws and y'r gon' be very forgiving an' not slice an' dice me on de condition I never ever touch y'r stash ever again?''
''Exactly.'' He grinned. After releasing the Cajun he left the room for the second time.
Gambit rubbed his chin. ~Dis is gon' hurt in de mornin'.~
He touched his blooded arm. ~Dis is gon' hurt in de mornin'.~
He stood up. ~Dis is definitely gon' hurt in de mornin'. Maybe I shouldn' wake up tomorrow at all.~
He started walking. ~Dis is hurtin' right now. Merde, I think I sprained my ankle.~
He wanted to walk out the room, but a certain big blue doctor was standing in the debris of the doorway.
''Where do you think you're going, my beaten Acadian friend.''
''Shower.'' He pointed to the left, where the elevator to the ground floor was.
''I believe you will be going to my lab.'' Hank pointed to the opposite direction.
''Non, merci. I be fine.'' Remy started walking towards the elevator, when an enormous blue hand caught his blooded arm. Remy flinched.
''I do not believe a blooded arm and a sprained ankle are seen as 'fine'. Come with me my friend, we will have you up and away in no time.''
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
''Seat yourself one that bed, please.'' Hank examined the wound on his left arm. He cleaned and bandaged the cut.
''It's not very deep, luckily. It won't leave a scar. Let's take a look at your ankle, shall we?'' He took off Gambit's shoe and started to move his foot, upward, downward, to the left, to the right. Remy flinched.
''Yes, I see. It's only mildly bruised. Just don't run and jump around too much the coming days. It will be fine.'' Hank smiled and looked up to the Cajun, who was still not at all amused of being in the lab.
''Great. Can I go now den?''
''Of course. Just be...'' Remy left the room with the speed of light. ''...Careful.'' Hank sighed. ''Youngsters.''
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Remy decided to go to the kitchen first of all and make himself a simple sandwich. Simple, because he didn't want to stuff himself and miss out on dinner tonight. He heard someone following him, so, he turned around to meet his stalker.
''I is just goin' t'de kitchen, no need t'...'' he started ''Oh, it's you, chere, _you_ can follow Gambit anytime.'' He said with a silky voice. Rogue was not distracted by it, she stood still, with her hands on her side.
''Ah ain't following you, Swampy. Just on my way to get something to drink.''
''Den let me accompany y', chere.'' He reached out an arm.
''I can walk, thank you very much.''
They walked to the kitchen in silence.
~Is she angry at me? I jus' bein' polite, dat's all. Okay, maybe not jus' polite, but...hey...is she walking slower?~
~Why does he insist on walking near me? If Ah walk any slower Ah'll be walking backwards.~
~She don' want m' near her. Why? Her powers? But she's all covered up. Too bad she is too, dere's gotta be a nice lookin' girl in dere somewhere, underneath all de clothin' an' makeup.~
~Why does this arrogant jerk have to be so incredibly cute? No, Ah can't think that way. Ah can't.~
~She walkin' slower again, maybe I should let it go f'r now. 'F she don' wan' come close, I just walk a little faster.~
~Good, he's picking up the pace. Finally.~
They reached the kitchen.
The simple, mountain-high, and I might add vegetarian, sandwich was almost finished. All it needed was the yellow chilly pepper he was now chopping.
''Y'sure y' don' wan' some too, chere.''
''Ah'm sure, Ah ain't eating anything that has twenty different spices and chilly peppers in it.''
''Y' don' know what y'r missin', chere.'' He continued chopping.
At that exact moment in time Xavier rolled (can anyone think of a better way of putting it?) in. Remy politely nodded at him and smiled.
In this tiny loss of concentration, the knife, meant to cut the chilly pepper and only the chilly pepper, suddenly found it's way to Remy's finger. He screamed in agony. Rogue found it hard not to laugh.
''Fuckin' hell! Damned...'' He began to yell. The professor looked at him angrily. It took Remy one glance in his direction to understand what he meant. Still in pain he tried correcting his words.
''Fuck.'' The professor shook his head. The finger was bleeding like mad, so Remy took a tissue to dampen the bleeding a bit. Rogue had given up trying not to laugh and ran out of the kitchen to catch her breath.
''Merde?'' Still the professor shook his head.
''Shit?'' Still he shook his head. Remy threw his hand up in the air in despair.
''Oh, man for cryin' out loud! What _can_ I say 'round here? Oops?'' The professor nodded. Remy sighed in defeat.
''Oops...'' Satisfied the professor smiled.
''Bah, ain't hungy no more.'' He left the sandwhich on the counter.
''Gon' shower now, be ready at seven.'' Angrily, he turned around and walked out of the kitchen. Xavier could barely hear the rambling of French-Cajun-English curses that came from his mouth. Barely.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Somewhere in an alley in New York
The beggar sat down, this was his alley. It was late and he needed some sleep, so he took a newspaper, opened it and lay on it. He had drank enough booze to get Rohde island drunk, so he was warm and ready to sleep. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a man smashed against a wall in _his_ alley.
''Hey! Whadoyathinkyardoingstupid!'' he muttered slowly and barely understandable, since words were impossible to form in his current state of being. The beggar stood up and staggered toward the newly arrived man.
''Get out of my way.'' The figure said.
''Makeme.'' The beggar blurted out. Suddenly, he realized that this unknown man was quite taller than him and twice as broad.
With barely an effort the man pushed the beggar aside. The stranger looked around.
''Where am I?''
*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Xavier's Mansion, 19:10
They stood waiting in the hallway. All had dressed up in their most poshy outfits. This meant tuxes for the men and nice dresses for the women. Jean wore a red gown, Kitty something too pink and petticoat but nice in it's own freakish way, Storm wore a beautiful white evening dress. Even Rogue had put some effort in looking nice. She wore a dress, a stunning green long-sleeved medieval gown. She hadn't put on so much makeup. Neither Hank or Kurt wore their image inducers.
Why they were this dressed up like this, was still a mystery to them. Rogue was starting to get annoyed. ~He said seven o'clock. What place is he going to take us, anyway? It better be good, or Swamp Rat's gonna ...~ Then she saw Gambit standing at the top of the stairs. ~Oh my God, he's gorgeous...wait, Ah didn't think that.~
The rest of the people present were equally stunned. A totally different person was standing on top of the stairs. He wore an Armani suit and Valentino shoes. He had shaven and his hair was tied in a neat tail. He was beautiful, for lack of a better word. Walking down the stairs, he was elegance himself, striding almost like a cat. He smiled at all the dressed up people in the hallway. Then he spotted Rogue. ~I was wrong. Dere's no nice lookin' girl underneath all de makeup an' clothin'. She's stunning.~ He reached the last steps of the stairs.
''Woah, like, you!'' Kitty was the first one to speak to the totally different looking Cajun. ''Who are you and what have you done to Gambit?''
''Gambit's chopped up in bite-size pieces and stored in de fridge, ma amie. Dis be Damien Black.'' Remy replied smiling.
Silence followed, with estranged faces to match.
''What? Ain't dat de saying? If y' can' beat dem, eat dem. Don' wan' be late, let's go.'' He walked to the door and turned around once more.
''You comin', or you stayin' starin' like idiots?'' He shook his head, smiled a ravishing smile, put on his worn trench coat and left.
A/N Look it's got a plot-in-process. And Rouge is realizing that Remy's hot.
On next: the dinner. Finally. And more plot of course. And maybe some Romy, too. But all of this only if you review, so…