DEMONICANGELIC
***
Back on the Small Rouge One, and with only Holly to act as company for the now fallen-out Jade and Rimmer, Life had become, well...
"Life is smeg. A great big pile of smeggy smeg with lots of smeg sprinkled on for a smeggy garnish, a side dish of smeg and a glass of chilled- smegarooni!!"
Rimmer had spent the following day pacing up and down the ship, muttering unmentionables. The thought of now only having Holly for company, now of course, 'Little Madam' (as he had christened her since the incident) had ceased speaking to him, had lost it's boringness, and had progressed steeply to 'so boring you could literally take a boredom-enduced epileptic fit and froth at the mouth at any given time' boring.
What's more, Rimmer felt really bad for what he had done to Jade. He felt guilty.
Guilty?
He'd never felt guilt before. What was wrong with him? He paced for hours and hours on end, pondering that very thing.
He had remembered once, Kryten explaining what guilt actually was.
"Usually a feeling based on the solitary fact that one has been a complete bastard to a fellow homo-sapian. There can be only one of two cures for this obscure feeling of regret and dejection - "
and then...blank. Just blank.
He continued to ponder a little more strenuously... what he had remembered about Kryten's explanation had done absolutely nothing to ease the situation. He couldn't remember the smegging conclusion.
He continued to pace and mutter, the veins in his forehead pulsing loudly in tie to his pacing as he thought.
The dodgy, creaking cogs in his mind were suddenly oiled by inspiration.
And then it hit him - smack hard in the crotch, with a massive, rusty, spiky, iron-welding hammer.
'A-P-O-L-O-G-I-S-E'! That was that word he was looking for! He didn't know exactly what that strange word meant, but he knew it had something to do with chocolates, flowers and...
...what was that other word? Another one he couldn't put his finger on.
"S-O-R-R-Y!!!" He grinned so hard his jaw creaked and his teeth ground as he rocked to and fro on his heels and toes.
He set off to find some chocolate, some flowers and that funny thing called a 'sorry'.
Surely there would be some of them SOMEWHERE on the ship?
The best thing he could come up with was an insignificant, pathetic- looking, single Memosian Dandelion Kryten had been storing in the medical supplies cupboard in case of another food-shortage.
Better than Lister's rather sad gift of 'Flour's' once to Kochanski, granted, but still, as Rimmer concluded eventually -
"It will just have to do."
~ Jade lay motionlessly on the top bunk of her quarters, staring at the blank ceiling above her. No matter how hard she tried, she just could not hallucanate. Even Lister's laundry hadn't sufficed.
"I think the boredom has got to me," she ultimately decided vocally to Holly, whom was also becoming increasingly fed up with having no one else around.
"Maybe you should start an argument with him?" Holly was never any good at trying to keep herself amused. She had already spent the past night and day trying to console Jade's grief, cataloguing a complete comprehensive alphabetized guide to everything in the universe, rerouting all of her own circuitry, rearranging and rereading all the books and discs in her databanks, and giving Bob the Skutter a whole new lick of metallic paint.
She even gave him go-faster stripes.
Holly sat motionless.
Jade lay motionless.
And then... there was a knock at the door.
Gingerly, the door handle turned, and Rimmer tiptoed in. Jade sat up immediately and hauled herself from the bunk to face him, and despite her utter boredom, the disappointment and the anger still lay at the surface of her mind.
"... yes?" she demanded nippily.
His solemn face, followed by his coily head fell to meet the floor. Jade took a maddened sigh and grabbed his chin sharply, thrusting his head (with a force so strong he received an equally sharp twinge in his neck) upwards to meet her agitated gaze.
A perturbed squeak escaped from Rimmer. He took a few seconds to regain his nerves, and soften the glue-like stare she was inflicting on him, by creaking his weary lips into what might just have passed for a smile - if smiles looked like the expression of a curry-munching rabbit with a bowel complex.
He nervously pulled his Dandelion from behind his back, took a step backwards and held it at arm's length, so as she couldn't reach him to hit him. A smile jabbed at the corners of her mouth.
Now the big one.
"Now," he said, "I couldn't find one anywhere for smeg nor money on this useless ship... so I made one."
He handed her a miniscule note. She giggled quietly in her head as she opened it up to find the word 'S-O-R-R-Y' printed in impeccably neat handwriting on the centre of the page.
"You didn't have to make one," she smirked. "You could just have said it..." A pause. "...If you want..."
Rimmer's brain took a miniature spasm as he realised his undeniably moronic mistake.
He hesitated slightly, but caught onto her expectant gaze. Eye's sparkling.
"I'm.... I'm sorry, Jade. I really truly am. S...sorry." His head bowed again, each of his cheeks glowing a fiery red.
She grinned, walked towards him, and picked his chin up from his chest gently, this time, and smiled from ear to ear.
"I know. And thank you - you know... for last night."
Rimmer blinked. "I know."
A few nanoseconds passed as the pair smiled.
Rimmer blinked again, waking himself immediately from his reverie. His blinks melted into uncomfortable twitches.
"I better... you know, be..." he pointed towards the door. "Better be going."
He nodded.
Rimmer turned on his heels and let himself out.
Holly had found all this particularly entertaining. She hadn't seen a good rom-com in years.
"Smeghead." She proclaimed with a grin.
And Jade nodded.
***
Back on the Small Rouge One, and with only Holly to act as company for the now fallen-out Jade and Rimmer, Life had become, well...
"Life is smeg. A great big pile of smeggy smeg with lots of smeg sprinkled on for a smeggy garnish, a side dish of smeg and a glass of chilled- smegarooni!!"
Rimmer had spent the following day pacing up and down the ship, muttering unmentionables. The thought of now only having Holly for company, now of course, 'Little Madam' (as he had christened her since the incident) had ceased speaking to him, had lost it's boringness, and had progressed steeply to 'so boring you could literally take a boredom-enduced epileptic fit and froth at the mouth at any given time' boring.
What's more, Rimmer felt really bad for what he had done to Jade. He felt guilty.
Guilty?
He'd never felt guilt before. What was wrong with him? He paced for hours and hours on end, pondering that very thing.
He had remembered once, Kryten explaining what guilt actually was.
"Usually a feeling based on the solitary fact that one has been a complete bastard to a fellow homo-sapian. There can be only one of two cures for this obscure feeling of regret and dejection - "
and then...blank. Just blank.
He continued to ponder a little more strenuously... what he had remembered about Kryten's explanation had done absolutely nothing to ease the situation. He couldn't remember the smegging conclusion.
He continued to pace and mutter, the veins in his forehead pulsing loudly in tie to his pacing as he thought.
The dodgy, creaking cogs in his mind were suddenly oiled by inspiration.
And then it hit him - smack hard in the crotch, with a massive, rusty, spiky, iron-welding hammer.
'A-P-O-L-O-G-I-S-E'! That was that word he was looking for! He didn't know exactly what that strange word meant, but he knew it had something to do with chocolates, flowers and...
...what was that other word? Another one he couldn't put his finger on.
"S-O-R-R-Y!!!" He grinned so hard his jaw creaked and his teeth ground as he rocked to and fro on his heels and toes.
He set off to find some chocolate, some flowers and that funny thing called a 'sorry'.
Surely there would be some of them SOMEWHERE on the ship?
The best thing he could come up with was an insignificant, pathetic- looking, single Memosian Dandelion Kryten had been storing in the medical supplies cupboard in case of another food-shortage.
Better than Lister's rather sad gift of 'Flour's' once to Kochanski, granted, but still, as Rimmer concluded eventually -
"It will just have to do."
~ Jade lay motionlessly on the top bunk of her quarters, staring at the blank ceiling above her. No matter how hard she tried, she just could not hallucanate. Even Lister's laundry hadn't sufficed.
"I think the boredom has got to me," she ultimately decided vocally to Holly, whom was also becoming increasingly fed up with having no one else around.
"Maybe you should start an argument with him?" Holly was never any good at trying to keep herself amused. She had already spent the past night and day trying to console Jade's grief, cataloguing a complete comprehensive alphabetized guide to everything in the universe, rerouting all of her own circuitry, rearranging and rereading all the books and discs in her databanks, and giving Bob the Skutter a whole new lick of metallic paint.
She even gave him go-faster stripes.
Holly sat motionless.
Jade lay motionless.
And then... there was a knock at the door.
Gingerly, the door handle turned, and Rimmer tiptoed in. Jade sat up immediately and hauled herself from the bunk to face him, and despite her utter boredom, the disappointment and the anger still lay at the surface of her mind.
"... yes?" she demanded nippily.
His solemn face, followed by his coily head fell to meet the floor. Jade took a maddened sigh and grabbed his chin sharply, thrusting his head (with a force so strong he received an equally sharp twinge in his neck) upwards to meet her agitated gaze.
A perturbed squeak escaped from Rimmer. He took a few seconds to regain his nerves, and soften the glue-like stare she was inflicting on him, by creaking his weary lips into what might just have passed for a smile - if smiles looked like the expression of a curry-munching rabbit with a bowel complex.
He nervously pulled his Dandelion from behind his back, took a step backwards and held it at arm's length, so as she couldn't reach him to hit him. A smile jabbed at the corners of her mouth.
Now the big one.
"Now," he said, "I couldn't find one anywhere for smeg nor money on this useless ship... so I made one."
He handed her a miniscule note. She giggled quietly in her head as she opened it up to find the word 'S-O-R-R-Y' printed in impeccably neat handwriting on the centre of the page.
"You didn't have to make one," she smirked. "You could just have said it..." A pause. "...If you want..."
Rimmer's brain took a miniature spasm as he realised his undeniably moronic mistake.
He hesitated slightly, but caught onto her expectant gaze. Eye's sparkling.
"I'm.... I'm sorry, Jade. I really truly am. S...sorry." His head bowed again, each of his cheeks glowing a fiery red.
She grinned, walked towards him, and picked his chin up from his chest gently, this time, and smiled from ear to ear.
"I know. And thank you - you know... for last night."
Rimmer blinked. "I know."
A few nanoseconds passed as the pair smiled.
Rimmer blinked again, waking himself immediately from his reverie. His blinks melted into uncomfortable twitches.
"I better... you know, be..." he pointed towards the door. "Better be going."
He nodded.
Rimmer turned on his heels and let himself out.
Holly had found all this particularly entertaining. She hadn't seen a good rom-com in years.
"Smeghead." She proclaimed with a grin.
And Jade nodded.