JANINE1
***
Jade had been surrounded by a lot of simple minded people in her lifetime. Her generation was not exactly one for spawning the thinking type. Her generation was the exactly the contrary. It caused people to conform and compete with standards of left-brained achievement, and success. Power is what everyone craved. No one thought about the world the way she did. Her gift was not appreciated in this world.
She remembered back to when she was first attracted to Jack. He had never truly understood or appreciated her from day one. He was an intelligent person in a lot of aspects. Physics, mathematics, creating things. He was a great researcher. Thinking herself inferior to him, she was intoxicated by his "power" at first. She had been so surprised that he had thought her beautiful. He never recognized what a truly amazing person she was. He had considered her "bright", "funny", "Cute", "good to talk to", and Jade accepted these things, She was happy that he felt these things even though they were only ordinary complements given in any relationship.
It took a long time for Jade to recognize signs of contradiction and patronization in his words. His words degraded her.
Jade felt compelled to prove herself as a person to him. To reveal herself, so she composed a poem for him, titled "The Savoir". After weeks of work on making sure it summed up the perfect emotion, as exactly and perfectly as possible, while using the best literary techniques and styles she could create, it was finally ready to share. She considered it one of the best things she had written at the time, and thought it would be a huge devotion to their love, and bring them closer together.
She could still remember the situation perfectly, They were in her sleeping quarters together, and he had been eager to get her clothes off. She told him he could do so after she read it to him. She recited the poem to him aloud, watching the expression on his face the entire time, which never changed. He had responded by simply saying he didn't understand it. As the weeks followed, he went out of his way to criticize her poem in playful ways.
Calling it silly and amusing.
He from then on, respected her less. He began to talk to her less and make love to her more, each time more forceful than the last. He began to stop caring whether or not she was comfortable.
Instead of realizing what was happening, all Jade could feel was shame for her writing and the only way she could rid herself of the shame was to be his personal whore. By the time they were alone together, it became unimaginable. Once the drinking started, it was truly too much for her. It was almost a relief to her when he hit her. The physical pain seemed to ease her mental pain.
She never did stop writing.
Her writing tone proceeded to become more and more dark. She would write about the longing for death and escape. She would write about her true, unimaginable pain, each word exaggerating. The pain she described in her poetry soon became real. It became so familiar that she almost didn't realize it was there.
Jade's soul had not been looked into by anyone for the longest time, until the previous day. She longed for that again, She hoped with all her heard that Rimmer would read every single thing she ever wrote. That he would become a part of her heart and ease her pain. That he would understand her, or at least appreciate her.
***
Jade had been surrounded by a lot of simple minded people in her lifetime. Her generation was not exactly one for spawning the thinking type. Her generation was the exactly the contrary. It caused people to conform and compete with standards of left-brained achievement, and success. Power is what everyone craved. No one thought about the world the way she did. Her gift was not appreciated in this world.
She remembered back to when she was first attracted to Jack. He had never truly understood or appreciated her from day one. He was an intelligent person in a lot of aspects. Physics, mathematics, creating things. He was a great researcher. Thinking herself inferior to him, she was intoxicated by his "power" at first. She had been so surprised that he had thought her beautiful. He never recognized what a truly amazing person she was. He had considered her "bright", "funny", "Cute", "good to talk to", and Jade accepted these things, She was happy that he felt these things even though they were only ordinary complements given in any relationship.
It took a long time for Jade to recognize signs of contradiction and patronization in his words. His words degraded her.
Jade felt compelled to prove herself as a person to him. To reveal herself, so she composed a poem for him, titled "The Savoir". After weeks of work on making sure it summed up the perfect emotion, as exactly and perfectly as possible, while using the best literary techniques and styles she could create, it was finally ready to share. She considered it one of the best things she had written at the time, and thought it would be a huge devotion to their love, and bring them closer together.
She could still remember the situation perfectly, They were in her sleeping quarters together, and he had been eager to get her clothes off. She told him he could do so after she read it to him. She recited the poem to him aloud, watching the expression on his face the entire time, which never changed. He had responded by simply saying he didn't understand it. As the weeks followed, he went out of his way to criticize her poem in playful ways.
Calling it silly and amusing.
He from then on, respected her less. He began to talk to her less and make love to her more, each time more forceful than the last. He began to stop caring whether or not she was comfortable.
Instead of realizing what was happening, all Jade could feel was shame for her writing and the only way she could rid herself of the shame was to be his personal whore. By the time they were alone together, it became unimaginable. Once the drinking started, it was truly too much for her. It was almost a relief to her when he hit her. The physical pain seemed to ease her mental pain.
She never did stop writing.
Her writing tone proceeded to become more and more dark. She would write about the longing for death and escape. She would write about her true, unimaginable pain, each word exaggerating. The pain she described in her poetry soon became real. It became so familiar that she almost didn't realize it was there.
Jade's soul had not been looked into by anyone for the longest time, until the previous day. She longed for that again, She hoped with all her heard that Rimmer would read every single thing she ever wrote. That he would become a part of her heart and ease her pain. That he would understand her, or at least appreciate her.