Disclaimer: Marvel, marvel, they our man, if they can't own them, no one can.
Star-of-Chaos Thank you *sob*, feeling better already.
Natural January the first just doesn't exist, much like Sunday morning. My story rocks? I always thought it hit rock…bottom that is. But hey, lots of thanx!
Ishandahalf Tweed jacket…*evil grin* don't give me ideas you might not like the result…
Bitrona In the comic, (don't know if it started in Uncanny or not) Bishop blamed Gambit for betraying and killing the x-men, turns out it wasn't him but Xavier as Onslaught. In the original cartoon (forgot the name) Bishop blamed Gambit for betraying everyone and killing the president, turns out it wasn't him but Mystique shape-shifted as Gambit. See the pattern? Who will the true traitor be in my story? That's for me to know and for you to find out. :) Anyway, hope you like this chapter too.
Yersi Fanel Welcome, welcome to the delirious figments of my imagination. And thanx. Read on, read on, we're not there yet…
Leann Well, thanx and I hope your student teacher didn't blow up any cards…Or, wait, that doesn't happen in real life does it…
Lonewolf What demolishing thoughts. Rogue, Bobby? Scott? No, I'm more cliché than that. Much more…just wait and see…
Samson Thanx, you know, it's really difficult to find a fic that isn't mushy. I almost slipped once or twice. But I made it after all. Warn me if I slip. Please.
Misa1124 What presidential assassination? I'm killing the x-men, not the president…:) Anyway, thanx for joining and do continue to find out more…
Dark Elf3 Okay, here's my theory on the I-don't-get-many-reviews-boo-hoo-hoo-conspiracy: I haven't threatened everyone good enough to review. No seriously, it all about my summary. It sucks. But I can't think of a better one. (Read: help me). It's either that or you're the only one not annoyed by my writing style…
Emma Thanx. I almost forgot about his thoughts, you made me remember I wrote a lot of them in previous chapters. Continuity is not my strong point. So here's more thoughts, hope you'll like it.
A/N From this chapter on I solemnly vow to be serious. I mean action, angst, the whole lot…right, who am I kidding?
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13. Friendly fire isn'tFissie
''An' dat concludes de adventures of Churchill. I can hardly believe I ever found dis borin'. I mean, dis is so interestin'. Who'd 've thought? ''
''Can we go now?'' Evan asked, the sun was shining and he wanted to shoot some hoops.
''Please.''
The students ran out of the improvised classroom, almost knocking Ororo to the floor, who was standing in the doorway.
''How was your first class?'' She smiled.
Remy yawned. ''In two words: Boh rin'.''
''I thought you liked history.''
''Art history, chere. It's background info in my line o' work. Don' care much bout de rest o' it.''
''We learn from the mistakes we made in the past.''
~Yeah, right. Whole lot o' good dat'll do.~ He thougt wryly. ''_We_ might. But de drunk, de paranoid an' de mad don'. An' it jus' happens t' be dose who rule de world. Ain' dat de truth, Bishop.'' He added to empathize his point.
Bishop approached the two mutants. ''Yes.'' Funny how a man who he _knew_ was going to be the traitor to all x-men could say something that actually sounded reasonable and truthful.
''Perhaps.'' Storm admitted. ''I still believe it is a very important class.''
''Enough bout my class. How's y'r class been, ey Stormy? Biology, non?''
''Do not call me that. Or I shall demonstrate the mechanism of lightning on you, in front of my class, tomorrow.''
~Better change de subject, she mean it. Dieu, dat's one scary woman.~ ''So, how de search f'r de Men in Green comin' on?''
''Wolverine is going to find some clues on where they stay, tonight.''
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
The GarageRemy and Bishop found Logan repairing some minor damage to his bike.
''Hey, Wolvie, were y' goin' t' tonight?''
Logan didn't even look up. ''Sightseeing through your intestines if ya call me that again.''
''Can I go too?''
''Nope. Chuck wants me to go alone.''
''Where t', mon ami?''
''Find out where those FOH-idiots are hiding.''
''I'll go wid y.''
''We'll go with you.'' Bishop added.
''No.''
''Where you gonna look?''
''A bar down town, where I know mutant-haters hang out.''
''I gotta go wid y'.''
''Nope.''
''Oh, come on. It been ages since I gone t' a decent bar. I need dose fumes. I need dose drinks. I need dose drunk people bodering m', so I can boder dem back wid a charged bottle.'' He whined.
''No. Your eyes might expose us. And Bishop ain't exactly subtle either.''
''You no fun.'' Remy looked at the bike. ''Y' missed a scratch.'' ~ Ha! Revenge is mine.~
''That's the shade, kid. Go do something useful.''
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Wolverine went barhopping that night. Not looking for a pub brawl as usual, but to gather information. Hey, novelty keeps the world going. He found the info he needed pretty fast, due to his natural powers of persuasion. Not to mention two sets of adamantium claws. So now he was headed to the place where members of the FOH was supposed to hang out.
He had never been to that club, the 'Fast One-way to Hell'. Not his style really, which says one or two things about the place.
A bunch of dark green Ducatis were parked at the side of the pub.
He entered the pub and sat down at the bar.
''Can I get you anything.'' The bartender asked.
''A beer.'' Logan took out a cigar and lit it.
''Are you new around here?'' A woman sat down next to him, dressed with too little clothes and too much makeup.
''Sorta.''
''Not the talkative type, are you?''
''Nope.''
''Well, honey. You need anything, you know where to find me.''
Through the mirror behind the bar, Logan could see a couple of men playing pool. Amongst all the loud noises and laughter, his sensitive hearing could clearly pick up a more hidden, whispered conversation. He listened at the disgust in their voices and resisted the urge to slice and dice those men and women right there. With almost visible difficulty.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
The mansionRogue sat on her bed, looking at the collar. ~Are those real rubies? They look pretty real to me.~
''Oh my god, where'd you get that?'' A voice screamed behind her.
''Hello Kitty. It was a gift.'' Rogue said, not even turning around.
''It's so totally great! Wow.''
''Ya can't borrow it.'' Rogue sneered.
''I wasn't asking.'' Kitty said insulted, but then her voice turned to curiosity. ''Who gave it to you? Oh, was it a secret admirer?''
''Gumbo.'' Rogue almost spat the name.
''Remy? Wow. Why?''
''Ah don't know. Maybe to make up for his idiotic behavior.''
''That's so cute.''
''Whatever.''
''Oh come on. Who are you kidding? You like him.'' Rogue made a face in disgust. ''Admit it.''
''No Ah don't. '' Kitty made a who-are-you-kidding-girl-face ''Did you know he's married?''
''What?'' Kitty couldn't believe it.
''Yeah.''
''No way.''
''Way.''
''He doesn't wear a ring.''
''So? Maybe they have matching tattoos.''
''I saw him at the swimming pool one day. I didn't see any tattoo.'' Rogue pulled a and-so-what-conclusion-can-you-draw-from-that-fact face. ''Ohh.'' Kitty put her hand over her mouth and blushed. ''You really think he could have a tattoo....there?''
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
The following morning,
Rogue came down from her English class. ~One more comment on mah accent and Ah'll kill that man.~ She wanted to go outside for a while, when she overheard a phone call.
''Y'r timin' sucks, homme.'' It was Remy, on the phone, sounding rather irritated. ''I don' have it'' ... ''Don' tell me what I have an' what I don' have.'' He sounded almost menacing. ''So?'' He listened and sighed. ''Merde, dat some deep shit.'' The other end of the phone was not done talking. ''No.'' ... ''No.'' ... '' No.'' ... ''Dieu, all right already.'' He sighed again. ''Where?'' He got ready to grab a pen. ''What y' mean?'' ... ''I don' care, jus' wanna know where.'' ... ''Cos I'm askin' y' nicely.'' The patience in his voice was no longer. ''I know, I know.'' ... ''I know, jus' don' give a fuck, y' encule de mere.'' ... ''Nothin', y'r hearin' things. Must be delirious, homme.'' He smiled. ''Come on, jus' tell m' where.'' He frowned. ''I remember where y' live y'know, be glad I'm askin'.'' He grinned again. ''I knew y'd get by. Lemme grab a pen....Okay, spill.'' ... ''Got it, merci mon ami.'' ... ''I heard dat.'' Remy smiled as he hung up. How he loved getting on peoples nerves. A voice startled his amusement.
''What was that all about?''
~Rogue?~ ''Nothin', chere. Don' worry none.'' ~ How long has she been listening? Does she know?~ Gambit went in evade-issue-or-she'll-ask-me-too-many-questions mode. ''It look great on y'.'' He said, pointing at the necklace.
''Yeah, it does.'' Rogue managed a smile.
''Too bad bout de rest.''
''What?!'' A fist pumped into his ribs.
''I mean de makeup, chere! De makeup! Don' kill m'.'' ~Dieu, dat girl's gon' kill m' some day.~
''Ah like the makeup and Ah like the clothes, stop bugging me.'' Another fist, this time directed to his face, was caught just in time.
''Not de face, chere. Jus' wanted t' say dat such a belle as y'rself does herself injustice wearing...''
''If you want to discuss fashion, Swamp Rat, go talk to your wife.'' She knew it was unfair. She didn't care.
~Au. Dat's a stab in de chest, chere.~ But of course, he couldn't let that notice, so instead of taking the knife out of his heart, he put an arm around Rogue and guided her upstairs.
''Come, let's go to class, we got so much to learn an' so little time.''
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Wolverine sat down in Xavier's office.
''They know about us, they've been spying. We're 'dangerous group of mutants'. We 'must be disposed of'. I swear it Chuck, I could've just ripped...''
''But you didn't, which is good. We need to get to the core of this problem.''
'' I got some hints as to where they are hiding their pathetic little asses. Some old abandoned warehouse.''
''Excellent. I have an appointment with the President this afternoon again, but perhaps you, Storm and Hank can form a plan.''
''Gonna persuade the man this time?''
''By making him see what a mistake he is making.''
''Maybe you should step of the moral-ladder and come to earth. It would make things a lot easier.''
''It would prove the FOH right. That mutants are dangerous, that they are a threat. I am not letting that happen.''
''Yeah, yeah, I know. ''
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
History Class''He's late. Again.''
''He'll be here. He said he had to pick up something.''
The door swung open and a happy Cajun walked in. ''Okay, mes petits enfants, let us learn.'' He waved a disc around.
''What's that?''
''Dis here be one o' dem round information keepers. We call em _c_ _d_'s. ''
''I mean, what's on it?''
''A program bout de Cold War. Very interestin'. So sit still an' learn. Be a sponge. Feel de information gather inside you. Absorb.'' He gestured with his hands in a very dramatic way. Briefly Bishop wondered if he did not accidentally come back to an alternative past. Somewhere in his heart he wished he had. He did not want to believe this man was the man that raised him.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Five seconds before the end of the almost never-ending program, Remy woke up.
''An' dat's all I hav' t' say about dat.'' Rogue found his Forrest Gump imitation scarily close to reality.
''Man, that was boring.''
''Oui.''
''Well, great. Come on! Let's go!'' Kitty pushed Rogue and Jean to the exit.
''Where you ladies goin'?'' Remy asked smiling.
''Shopping.''
His smile died out. ''How nice.'' He remembered the days he was dragged to the mall by Mercy, his brother's wife. And all those times he was forced to go shopping with Belle. He knew what the line was after 'We're going shopping.' He did not like his life. ~Don' ask me t' come wid y'. Don' ask me t' come wid y'. Don' ask me t' come wid y'.~
''Come with us.''
~Earth, swallow me now.~ ''Nah, merci.'' He tried casually.
''Oh, come on. You need a new coat.''
''M' coat is jus' fine.''
''It's torn...Even more torn than it was before.'' Jean said.
''I like it torn.''
''We'll have fun!'' Kitty shouted.
~Yeah, Who-ho. You really put de fun in fungus.~ ''Non, really.''
''Please?'' Rogue pouted. She knew it was mean, she loved mean.
~Damn.~ They had him cornered. ''Bishop?'' He mouthed a 'help me'.
''Dante's verse 'Abandon hope all ye who enter here' continues to run through my mind. I wonder why.''
~_Now_ he starts makin' jokes.~
''If you're coming, you'll have to leave that gun here.'' Jean stated.
''Never.''
''Bishop can' even sleep widout dat gun. It be his teddy, his bestest buddy ever. So guess dat mean were not goin'. Too bad.'' He smile that wanted to shine on his face was hard to hide.
''Can't you leave the giant gun here and bring along a smaller weapon?'' Rogue suggested.
Bishop pondered for a moment. He saw the look of horror on LeBeau's face.
Remy watched in horror as a smile appeared on Bishop's face. ~Oh non!~
''Fine. We shall go with you.''
~Why can' he jus' shoot m'?~
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Shopping with the ladies wasn't all that bad. Apart from the part where Remy had almost bought a bike for his 'pup'. Bishop showed him that he was very capable of killing the Cajun without the huge rifle. Father and son bonding was not something they would be getting to on a short term bases.
Now they were sitting in a café, drinking coffee. The waitress came along and put the check down. Remy took his wallet and took out a few bills.
''Eh, Remy, that was a different wallet then the one you paid with at the store.'' Jean noted.
''Oh.'' He said innocently. He took the wallet and examined it. ''Well, will y' look at dat. It changed color. Must be chameleon leather.''
''Right. It's a woman's purse.''
''I happen t' like it.'' He sounded insulted.
''It's fluffy and purple.'' Rogue said sardonically.
''I _like _fluffy an' purple. Goes wid m' eyes.'' Rogue snatched the wallet from his hands. ''Hey!''
She opened it. It had a few pictures in it.
''And who's pictures are these, then?''
''M' husband and filles?''
''You stole th...! Mphh!'' Remy's hand was over her mouth in no time.
''Keep y'r voice down, chere.'' He smiled around to anyone who might find the scenery a bit suspicious.
''Mphh!''
''Dat better be an 'okay'.''
''Mph!'' He took his hand away. ''Gawd.'' She straightened her shirt. ''You stole that?!'' It was a shouted whisper.
''So?''
''That's robbery!''
''So?''
''You can't go around stealing people's wallet!''
''I _can_, chere, dat's de good part.''
''You've got to give it back. What about the other wallet?''
A black wallet appeared in the Cajun's hand like a magic trick. He flipped it open.
''Empty.'' He stated. Rogue looked at him accusingly. ''What? Dat shirt was very expensive. _Dat_'s de robbery, 'f y' ask me.''
''Have you no morality?'' Jean accused.
''Sure I have. I'd never steal from kids, old ladies or people dat keep deir money in deir socks, or underwear. _Especially_ people who keep deir money in deir socks or underwear. '' He emphasized.
''It's wrong.'' Kitty said.
''It works.''
''You could be arrested.''
''Dat be a first.''
''I thought you said you quit the whole thieving business when you joined us. That's what you said.'' Rogue remembered.
''It did. Dis is more of a... '' he tried searching the right word for it.''...hobby, 'f you will.''
''A hobby? You pick pockets as a hobby?'' Rogue said incredulously.
''Oui.''
''So you didn't actually quit your life of crime.'' Jean raised an eyebrow.
''Maybe I giv' de word 'quitin'' a different meanin' den you do.'' Remy tried.
''Maybe you just lied to us.''
''Naturally. Lying is another one of LeBeau's hobby's.'' Bishop stated irritably. The sound of his voice made Remy glad the man from the future had not brought his gun here. He didn't much feel like running for his life again. That's why he knew he shouldn't say what he was going to say. But he did love to annoy that big fellow. So with a smile and a pat on Bishop's back, Remy laughed and said:
''Hey, y' know what I always say, mon ami. 'F y' can' beat dem, make em like y' an' deceive dem.''
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A/N Okay, still a bit lame, but it will get better next time. And for your general information, no, Remy does not have a tattoo on his ass. Or on any other parts of his body. Not in this story anyway…
On next: Well, if the FOH hides at an old warehouse, where do you think the x-men will go next? Hawaii?
Review, you don't have to be kind
I promise I won't take it out of your hide
I won't mind a little criticism
I won't mind hearing I am not the best
I won't mind a little time locked up in prison
I can put up with all the Rorschach tests
I'm a good little soul, you see, no harm
I have a circle saw in my barn
;-