Chapter 5: like he looks at you

ino, in her room after her date.. it went well.. but during the whole time, she was.. rather uncomfortable.. this whole thought bothered her the whole time.. when her mom came to her room, telling her to come down for dinner, she refused but stayed in her room.

this whole "thought" was what had happened earlier.. about shikamaru going to kione's grave.. she felt left out, like a third wheel.. or a tag along.. or something to keep shikamaru from thinking about kione.. she felt.. used maybe.. cus first of all, she had a feeling he didnt really love her.. even though he didnt tell her he did love her.. she wanted to receive the love that she gave him.. and second.. how can he go out with ino when he longs for someone else?

ino's thoughts:

why does he do this?? its soo obvious.. he just cant forget.. shes dead for goodness sakes!.. like how he thought of her today and forgetting me.. and it hasnt even been that long.. man.. if you look at it this way.. shikamarus so selfish.. he should know that he cant have me.. and her at the same time..

ino didnt know what to do.. so she got up, got her jacket, and left the house.. more like snuck out.. since she was on the third floor, she climbed the tree that was by her window up till the second floor and jumped down.. she was careful not to make a sound..

she arrived at the cemetery.. a place where she only went a few times, such as her grandpa's funeral/anniversary... including kione's funeral.. she went there because she need a place to think and she knew that noone would be there.. it was okay in her room but she also wanted to meet someone.. kione.

shikamaru heading home, after he payed naruto back the time he had owed.. they both had dinner and he was going back home.. but before he did, he wanted to go somewhere else on the way..

he had few money on him.. and wanted to make up to ino by gettin her what girls fancy.. a gift.. on his way to the gift shop, he saw ino.. although, she didnt see him.. she turned which led to a way where nothing was exept fields.. exept the cometary.. why would ino go to the cemetery?? he thought.. so he decided, out of curiosity, to find out.. the gift can wait, he thought..

she remembered where it was.. where the grave was.. kione wouldnt be there.. only her body.. who knows where her spirit is.. but maybe her spirit could hear her or something.. ino just wanted to see kione, and the grave was where she lied peacefully.. she reached it finally.. it was a noticable one cus of the white calla flowers.. they were beautiful.. all the flowers at her parent's shop were beautiful.. thats why there are only one flower shop in konoha.. all the other shops would run out of business.. she smiled at that thought.. and bent down to touch the softness of the pedals.. calla pedals were very soft.. but she stopped, and pulled her hand away from it and the smile soon faded away when she remembered who it was for.. she certainly knew it wasnt for her..

watching her from a distance, shikamaru feels very bad inside.. he wants to comfort her real bad but how? after what he had done.. still choosing kione.. whos dead over someone whos alive which is ino.. no, im not choosing kione.. i just miss her thats all.. thought shikamaru.. and i really like ino..

ino kneels in front of the grave.. "i dont know if you can here me.. i feel soo not like myself right now.. i look like if im crazy talking to some dead person's grave.. or maybe im talking to myself.." ino thought that she came here to talk to herself but didnt really want to.. so maybe it felt better if you pretended you were talking to someone.. "you know.. i dont wanna admit it but.. just know im not like this but.. im really jealous.. and kinda frustrated.. not at you though.. what am i thinking?? ino get a hold of yourself!! your not talking to kione.. shes dead!!." she wacked herself on the head for being stupid.. "anyways.. i am frustrated.. its so unfair how life is.. how things work in life.. how i cant get it MY way." she droped her head down..

shikamaru watched ino, why is she looking down?? shikamaru thought.. then, he found his answer.. he was far but close enough to see the tears sliding down her cheek.. eventually, drips down onto her hand.. ino.. he thought..ino let out all the tears she wanted too.. as if anyone was watching.. she felt perfectly safe that she wouldnt show her pain to anyone.. this was how she felt..she felt like crying.. she wiped her tears with her hand, but she didnt stop shedding them.. "i wish he would look at me like he looks at you.." then, she touched the pedal of the calla flower once more before running back, while tears were running down her face..

shikamaru, just hearing what she said, was confused.. 'i wish he would look at me like he looks at you..' what did that mean? he thought.. of course he looked at her like he looked at kione.. they were both women who he really liked.. it just didnt make any sense.. but what ino was talking about wasnt how he looked at her.. or the way he did.. it was how he cared about her and loved her.. shikamaru didnt know this.. thats why from that day on, he tryed to look at her really hard like he had looked at kione..



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