Where do I belong?
Disclaimer:
Me: Let's keep this short and sweet since I bet no one even reads this. * takes a deep breath *
Cast: * interrupts in chorus * Standard disclaimer applies!
Me: * biida * HEY! You guys stole my line!
WARNINGS: OOC characters cos I want it that way. NO FLAMES are welcomed. Don't like my fic DON'T REVIEW!! I am only doing this for my fun and the readers who actually want to read it. One more thing MAJOR SPOILERS!
Notes:
Okay! A very big THANK YOU to Songwind-san for waking me up from putting down my own fic! I appreciate it! So me guess I am sort of dedicating this chapter to her!
Although things are going slow, I will write and I will try and appreciate my own work! Lol! But as usual it wouldn't hurt if you guys would review * wink wink * * hint hint * hahaha… but most of all… just enjoy the chapter kay? Alrighty carry on!
Wait wait! Happy BELATED B'DAY TASUKI! Eep I can't believe I was so busy I forgot that
Tasuki: Aww its allright!
Me: * gives belated b'day kiss * Gomen gomen!
Tasuki: Yea yea * returns kiss *
~ Fiery-Ice ~
Readers delight:
Shadow Hawk: Thanks for being here like all the time! Lol Soi PMSing oh yea I pictured it so I wrote it. Kimiko? Hrm I really dunno but basically the whole fic is self-discovery I think… =P Anyways I can't wait for the next chapter of your fic! Ganbatte!
a_g_g_i_e: Um what? A marshmellow? Is that supposed to be a compliment? Um kinda dense here so gomen… but if it was thanks!
Chibi Tenshi: Lol thanks for the compliment! Hope to see you here again soon! * wink *
Meta Lise: Yep I know about your two chapters! Absolutely happy about that! But I am so glad you took the time to drop in! Can't wait for more! Enjoy this chapter ne?
Zerianyu: Lol! Don't worry about it! I'm just glad you are here! You talking about the twists? Hee hee glad you like it!
MoO KaWaIi MoO: WAAAAAAAI! * hugs * hisashiburi desu ne! Long time no see! You're back! Weee! Ahahah well right now is revealing the twists I had in the beginning and sort of part of the plot! But anyways enjoy!
Meika-chan aka MiakaLookAlike: Tomo? Oh I'll elaborate later but right now read on! Hee hee! You've caught up! Great! Yay!
Songwind: Naaaaaa Songwind-san! Arigatou once again for knocking me awake! Lol thanks for the ego boost! Long time no see too! But I am glad you're back! Here is the chapter!
raine_ellie: Excellent? Hontou? You're so sweet for saying so! So here is the much awaited chapter!
Chapter 15 Time Will Tell
Kimiko pulled her mind from the trance and breathed deeply. She felt a familiar ki of Seiryuu's and knew she would be in danger if she continued the mind conversation.
~Kimiko~
I broke the connection feeling the presence of a Seiryuu seishi nearby. It was like my mind was distant then I was rudely jerked back into reality. Can't explain my ability to feel presences but it just feels like a familiar ki.
A floating child monk eerily popped up in front of me.
I jumped back at the sudden shock but scrutinized his appearance. It popped into my mind.
"Miboshi…"
"Kimiko-sama. Nakago has briefed me on your presence."
I stood up in confusion.
Wasn't Miboshi supposed to be evil looking? His eyes were a little calculating demo I don't see… and he is creeping me out being so polite and also he looks suspicious of me. Whatever… everyone is anyway.
"Kimiko-sama I'll take you back to your tent."
I nodded dumbly. I followed the floating child monk wondering how he could float. Laws of physics would not allow it. What nonsense am I thinking? This is the Universe of the Four Gods. Anything can happen.
I can feel aches and stings from the cuts and bruises I acquired in the blasts I couldn't control. I trudged towards the tent once more as it continued to look more and more like a prison.
Unaware of my surroundings, I bumped into someone plopping backwards onto my butt. I noticed Miboshi was nowhere to be seen. My eyes travelled upwards only to see…Soi… again.
She was very beautiful like a man's perfect wet dream woman. Fury and humiliation reflected in her eyes and her stance looked ready to tear me limb from limb. I don't doubt that she could do it. A woman's fury is nothing to be played at.
I felt myself becoming weaker now that I realised my injuries. My body ached, my clothes torn, Mitsukake isn't here to help me and I haven't eaten anything in so long. I would have probably broken something if I had slammed into her instead of bumped.
From my position on the ground I asked while trying to get up, "What is it Soi? I know you hate me for some reason but why?"
I stumbled again my knees not able to support myself.
Coldly she regarded my sad state, "What do you have woman to woman that I don't? Why does Nakago have such a fascination with you?"
Stunned, Nakago wants me for more than my powers or something?
"Soi…gomen…I don't know what to say but Soi…I assure you…Nakago does have…feelings for you. That is all I can say."
The course of the history of Shi Jin Ten Shi Sho has changed. There will be no war between Konan and Kutou and Soi will not sacrifice herself. Hopefully, everything will be over soon only time will tell now. I cannot tell the future with my knowledge now.
Soi's eyes softened for a second and I watched her through my lowered eyelashes.
"I admire the Suzaku sichiseishi for their love for one another and the love shared by priestess and seishi." She whispered to herself. Then her eyes hardened slightly as her gaze landed on me.
I shivered. I've been getting cold stares and looks the whole day. The sun had winded down to dusk. I longed for the warm, sweet gazes I felt instead of saw from Tas…no stop it Kimiko. Don't give yourself reason to hurt yourself.
Forcing myself to push my weary self from the ground I tried to convey with my eyes, that she need not worry about competition from me. The older woman slightly shifted her body and I took the chance to slip by her into the tent.
Nakago was inside. He seemed to be thinking about something. The blonde seishi looked up and without a word tossed me a new set of clothes.
I looked at the clothes I caught then walked towards the bed feeling too worn out to change clothes. I ensued to curl up on one side of the bed not caring about my appearance or what the blonde seishi thought. I curled my fingers absently around the cool hardness of the pendant around my neck.
Before dropping into the darkness, I drowsily felt fingers brush some of my hair off my head then caress my cheek though I can't be sure. So tired.
~Nakago~
Kirei…
I couldn't resist the urge to brush the auburn hair from her forehead. Wanting to back up, I still couldn't so I ran my fingers down her cheek wondering what this girl who haunted my dreams was dreaming about.
There was only one other woman who had half the beauty this megami had. Soi…
At that thought I walked out of the tent to do something…anything…to change my train of thoughts.
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The Suzaku group still was in the Byakko seishi's house. Tasuki had just reported eyes glowing alive.
"Minna! Kimiko just contacted me through some sort of wacko mind thing! I AM NOT GOING CRAZY!" He yelled indignantly as the others looked at him doubtfully.
"What did she say na no da?"
"Oi Tasuki, hayaku! What did she say?" the rest chimed in.
"She said she was okay but we need to hurry up and summon Suzaku cos she doesn't know what the hell that bastard is going to do. That's all because she got cut off."
~Tasuki~
"We have to get the shinzaho now! Let's go! Let's go! Hayaku!"
I was eager to retrieve the shinzaho. Once we summon Suzaku, I can get Kimiko, kill the blonde seishi and go back to Mt. Reikaku!
But I could have sworn that she was hiding something from me and stopping herself from saying "Aishiteru" to me is a sign of that.
As the old couple told us what to do, which I wasn't listening to, I thought of how I'll kill Nakago. Things were finally looking up.
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Unbeknownst to dear Tasuki, his near future was just the opposite.
Meanwhile, at the Seiryuu camp Nakago was preparing for the next day when they were supposed to head to the temple.
~Nakago~
I will not need Yui-sama in fact. But I can see that Kimiko is partly unconsciously suppressing her powers. If she hasn't released her powers by tomorrow I can still use her as a shinzaho to call upon the gods with Yui-sama.
With her power, she'll work even better than a shinzaho. Even if she doesn't remember me, I do and I will fulfil my destiny and dreams as she had said.
@ Somewhere @
~Kimiko~
Wha? Where da hell am I now?
Mizu…so much water everywhere. I felt like I was floating. The crash of a waterfall made its way to my ears. My senses felt like they were everywhere at once.
The flashes of the all the seishi's pasts started invading my head. More and more I saw of their pasts and the more I felt sick to my stomach. Why is this happening to me?! Get out! Get out of my head.
All of a sudden, time seemed to stop, all the images seemed to be like on pause of a television. A voice was heard out of the blue, it was unlike the first voice I heard when I entered this world.
It was unearthly and different; there are no other adjectives to describe it.
"Saikai, finally you've come."
Who is Saikai? Who is this now? Show yourself!
An outline of a figure started to form before my eyes. Blue armor, dragon carved sword and helmet and blue regal outfit.
Seiryuu? Why is it Gods like to interrupt my dreams? No wonder I get tired easily.
As the shape formed, I backed away cautiously. Finally the full figure stood there proudly like a…well like a dragon.
"Saikai…this is not a dream. You are here. I did not call you here. You brought yourself here to my palace."
"Why is it you people well umm not people…Gods keep calling me Saikai?! And how the hell can I transport myself here?"
"Gods do not manipulate destiny, fate does. Your destiny is playing out and you cannot change it. You are my grandchild and therefore are a very powerful goddess. Your powers are starting to show but only a glimmer of it because you have not embraced your destiny fully yet. Your fate has been written and now you are to change one of the seishi's lives. Only one. You shall have to choose who will be."
"So…I really am your grandchild? You're not lying? But how?"
"Saikai…Gods do not lie. And you shall find out all in due time."
"Due time? DUE TIME? When will due time be? I've been told that over and over again. And now I have to choose which seishi I am going to have to change?"
'Your temperament you definitely did not get from my side…' Seiryuu wait no… Oji-sama said or rather I think he said something like that not intending for me to hear but I heard it anyway.
"Choose the seishi. Choose wisely."
Which seishi to choose? Split decision c'mon! The images resumed pouring into my head. My blood turned cold at the emotions the images brought to my head. I chose simply the one that I could change which would make the most impact. Nakago.
I choose…I choose…Nakago!
The moment I thought that, I was jerked backwards at a speed enough to make someone vomit. It seemed like my surroundings were a rewinding show. Suddenly I was thrown into a violent stop. Into a room I tumbled.
If I really am I goddess shouldn't I have made a graceful stop? Oh yea the big deal with me not embracing my destiny. But I still think that it's a little out there for me to be a goddess. I looked around seeing a different setting.
It seemed to be a pretty moderate room and a glance at the decorations I knew I was in Seiryuu territory. How far have I gone? When and where am I?
I was contemplating what to do when the door creaked indicating it was about to open. Seeing nothing to hide behind I stood behind a chair hoping and willing myself to be invisible though looking down at myself I was still fully visible, so that I would not be caught even though it would be inevitable.
Soldiers stood at the door roughly shoving in a golden haired child into my midst. I wondered why they couldn't see me. The child looked frail and bruised seemingly unconscious as he or she crumpled to the floor. The soldiers closed the door and I swear one of them seemed to look right through me.
I breathed a sigh of relief before reality smacked me in the face. The child lay crumpled to the floor and I could see bruises on the fair skin. Disgust and anger at whomever the evil bastard who would do this to a child filled my very soul.
I turned the child over to reveal a face that could have been called angelic. But bruises marred those features. It was a he but could be easily mistaken for a very pretty little girl. His age couldn't have been more than 12.
I half dragged the boy to the bed trying to injure the boy further because it would be hard for me to pick him up. The boy was still unconscious. I looked for some clothes in the closet to dress the boy. He was bruised and dirty with a substance that smelled revolting. Saliva maybe? Stinky saliva? Hidoi (cruel)…
Okay sort out your thoughts Kimiko. You chose Nakago. Is it possible this boy is Nakago? I don't know which time period this is and I won't know for sure till the boy wakes up. What could have happened to him? Nakago was raped by the bastard of an emperor, wasn't he?
Gods, raped… this must be Nakago. How long has this been going on? I worked to rid the young body of the filth of the emperor, which tainted him. I took some warm water and dampened a cloth I found. It seemed that the things were there on a regular basis. I felt like vomiting at the conclusion I had drawn.
I would have felt a little embarrassed if this was a normal situation but as it wasn't I finished the job mechanically and changed the boy into new clothes as his former ones were torn. Perhaps due to "his majesty's passion", I felt sarcastic as bile rose up in my throat in rage. The bruises are going to hurt. Okay let's test out the powers but not too much. Who knows whether someone in this place can sense them.
I placed my palms on the boy's forehead and chest. How to heal? Oh well, gotta try just hope I don't hurt the boy. I tried to picture of the bruises disappearing as well as the scratches and other injuries. I don't think I will ever try ki transfer again until I get the hang of my powers.
Lets modify the ki transfer thing a bit. A feeling of warmth flowed from myself into the boy. To my triumph, the bruises disappeared. Yatta!
I pulled the sheets to cover the boy but as I was pulling it sheets the boy opened his eyes and stared at me. He sat up quickly.
"Omae wa dare?"
"Someone to help…. What's your name and how old are you?"
"Gi Ayuru, 10 years old." His eyes were shielded.
"Omae wa?"
"Kimiko."
So I was correct, this boy is Nakago. Gi Ayuru is Nakago's real name.
I smiled at the young Nakago hoping to put him at ease. Unfortunately it seemed that the Nakago I knew was already starting to show in the boy. His face was an impassive mask although I could have sworn I saw a flicker of surprise in his eyes. I must have been sent to the time he starts to crack and swears revenge.
I saw his eyes glance down then skim his body. No trace of bruises. I sat on the bed wondering what to say next when he broke the silence.
"Are you an angel? If you are why is it Seiryuu-sama doesn't protect me? Why does he let the heika-sama hurt me every night?" The word heika was spat out with anguish.
"Eto…"
"Why did I kill My okaa-san just because I am a Hin and now a seishi? Why do they hate us?"
"Gomen… I don't know those answers but I'll stay here to help you for as long as I can." I lowered my eyes feeling awkward because I didn't know what to do.
Maybe if I show Nakago somebody cared for him he would not kill try to kill everyone.
Then it hit me. This was what Nakago was talking about. This was how he knew me. Oh gods! What am I supposed to do anyway? Okay okay don't hyperventilate just take care of the boy now. I can't say I understand everything he feels right now because I haven't had many flashes from him. But from experience…feeling helpless and used can kill you inside out.
Give him love? Is that solution? How can I even do that when I can't express it well myself? Silence held its reign over us, as neither knew how to react in the current situation.
Nakago as a little kid…the weird level is getting higher. Do I still call him Nakago? How long do I stay here?
"Ano…what do I call you then? Ayuru?"
"Hai." It was childlike but Ayuru didn't act his age. It was like being a child but he didn't even act like one. Like he had seen too many bad happenings to even act his age. He's aged emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
His eyes were half closed. He must be sleepy especially with what he's been through. All my control I built up over the years came crashing down as ultimate fury at the one who seemed to have started it all. The emperor of Kutou, he seemed to be the one to start a chain reaction all the way into the future.
As if punctuating my anger, thunder and lightning struck up outside.
I gently pushed Ayuru back onto the bed and pulled the covers back over him. I don't know what came over me but I brushed Ayuru's hair away and kissed him on the forehead after his eyes closed and his breathing became even.
The contact sent shockwaves through me as I fell backwards curling up into a tight ball like I did when I was little when so many bad things happened to me. The flashes of what I suspect Ayuru went through with the emperor washed through me. The pain felt so real. I realised I was feeling what Ayuru had felt during the times the emperor raped him.
His screams echoed in my head. His sapphire blue eyes wide with torturous pain and shimmered with moisture. I bit on my lower lip so hard to avoid making any sound till my teeth extracted a drop of crimson liquid. My fingers clawed the skin where I gripped my arms drawing blood. I didn't realise it at the time but I concentrated trying to drive out the emotions and images.
I was breathing heavily when I finally dared to open my eyes. I surveyed the damage I did to myself. Not much… Seems that Seiryuu had changed me into the clothes Nakago gave me. Or did I do that? They'll heal soon. My lip will be a little sore.
I walked over to the little window watching rain pour down. The rhythmic patter of it soothed my turbulent thoughts.
Suzaku give me strength…or should I be saying Seiryuu now. I picked up the habit of calling out to Suzaku in my other world. Or do I belong here now? Where do I belong really? Such trivial matters, what utter crap am I thinking about. Focus on matters at hand now.
I gazed unseeingly into the shadowy showery night.
Right now Nakago is not Nakago…yet. He is Ayuru. I will not think him as Nakago at this moment. When I was in my time, I could not receive any flashes from Nakago. Now here, I did not get anything from Ayuru until he was asleep. Is it possible he has his guard up? Or what? Why can I just get flashes at random moments?
There has to be a pattern here. I just * yawn * have to figure out what it is.
I set up a pallet in a corner blocked by some junk. My weary body sank onto the pallet willingly. All thoughts dispersed from my thoughts as everything turned blank and I sank readily into the rest I desperately needed.
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Kimiko is in the past now. Time in the future will still go on as planned. Her trip will reveal things that have been confusing in its matter. But how will her journey end? Will there even be and end for her? How will she play out her part?
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Notes: Oooh a twist? A crappy one but still a twist… betcha you all saw that coming! Lol wonder how far the ending of this fic will be =P don't run away okay? Lol! Stick around and read!
Arigatou!
Matta ne!
~Fiery- Ice~
P.S: R/R onegai shimasu! Arigatou!!