Where do I belong?
Disclaimer:
Me: Life is short so let's say this quickly shall we? * holds up a conductor's baton *
Cast: * sings * Standarddisclaimerapplies!
Me: Ahhh nice very nicely done! * grin *
WARNINGS: OOC characters cos I want it that way. NO FLAMES are welcomed. Don't like my fic DON'T REVIEW!! I am only doing this for my fun and the readers who actually want to read it. One more thing MAJOR SPOILERS!
Notes:
All RIIIIIIIGHT! I'm BACK! YAY! Here is the chapter that you have ALL been waiting for. I do have a dedication today! This chapter is dedicated to fangiezz my cousin for helping me out a little with this chapter * mutters * very little… * mutters * hahaha kidding anyways she allowed me to rant to her and she wanted to kill me if I didn't get a chapter up so I did so I could keep my life * phew * hee hee!
SO MINNA HERE IT IS! * drum roll * CHAPTER 17 AFTER 2 MONTHS DELAY!
~ Fiery-Ice ~
Readers delight:
Halee: Well… now that you mention it you could take it that way but honestly I wasn't thinking of Soi when I described her. Kimiko has reddish brown hair, Soi has maroon hair. No, I think Kimiko's hair is closer to Miaka's colour but redder. Lol thanks for the b'day wishes but oops that was like 2 months ago if I remember correctly hehehe! About the more characters thing well there will be a few coming in soon. * spoiler * heheheh
Shadow Hawk: Hi Rosie! ^_^ I finally updated! Are you proud of me? Hahaha! I'm so happy I actually got this chapter up though its sorta short! But you keep up your good work I can't wait for more from you! ^_^
Meta Lise: Tasuki is DEFINITELY a lot of fun to write about! My fave character natch! Yea the way I see it I am predicting nothing more than 25 chaps altogether… awww… this fic is my baby! ^_^
Dixie_stix_chix: Hahaha aww! Thank you! Keep reading ^_^
Songwind: Cookieeeeees! Yum! Got any chocolate? Hee hee! * grins * if that update wasn't a quick update this is an extremely LATE update! GOMEN! * bows to Songwind-san * But I have my reasons! * protests in her defence * Your advice is good though… but really I can't start another fic because the main reason for my late updates is the time limitation in my life. So GOMEN once again!
danielle: new found obsession is a bit much but THANK YOU ALL THE SAME! I hope you continue reading because I would love to see you around here!
Eiko: Thank you! You wrote one similar to it? You HAVE to show it to me sometime! ^_^
michiro-shizume: hahaha Thanks for the input! Look below to see if I have put that in * wink * I did update! And you can nag me all you want it might make me actually write the next chapter quickly!
FYfangirl26: I'm really sorry about the romance withdrawal but Tasuki and Kimiko are sorta apart… there IS a lil bit of romance there but its sad! Awww! Oh cool! I'll add you when I have time but for now I do have one and that is tasukikimiko225 but I have to d/l the program again as my stupid sister deleted it! Anyways enjoy the chapter! Arigatou for being so understanding on my late updates! You're really too sweet!
fangiezz: my god! Craze woman ah you! O.o! you went totally overboard but ohhhhh well! The much awaited chapter of bullshit! Here you wanted it! Hahaha nyeh nyeh you will never be able to kill me! * laughs maniacally * but anyways tell me whatcha think! How do you like it! It's a chapter dedicated to you!
Luminaglow: ufo catchers WAAAAAAIII! O.o noooooo I'm innocent! I'm sorry I haven't the time to R & R your fics but I will get around to doing it! I promise! * smiles innocently * hehehe anyways here it is! The chapter!
Meika-chan: Aren't you Meika-chan aka Miakalookalike? Anyways sad to say I didn't get a new computer but I got back my old computer which sucks… because my parents didn't exactly repair it… * sigh * I can only hope that my chapter gets uploaded correctly. But anyways enjoy!
Chapter 17Acceptance & Betrayal?
Meanwhile the Suzaku sichiseishi went straight to the temple. Tokaki still advised Tamahome to break up with Miaka but Subaru put a stop to it after she saw the love between the two young ones.
She could have sworn she could actually feel the warm loving aura the two gave off. It was almost too easy but she knew they had gone through a lot of hardship to stay together. She kept noticing the fiery bandit that reminded her a little about her rascal husband. His eyes burned with a passion that spoke of many things.
She wondered.
Tasuki on the other hand was definitely burning with fervour because they would finally be some action and he could stop staring the Tamahome and Miaka with a hint of disgusted jealousy because they caused him into wishing Kimiko were there in his arms once again where they would joke and laugh. He knew he told her that he loved her, but he couldn't tell if he really did.
He wanted to just rush over and he felt that he could take on the whole Seiryuu gang if he could just get her back but then he knew it was her choice so he respected her wishes but also she would kill him if he went after her endangering the rest. For some reason he felt he would go crazy not knowing how she was. Was this what Tamahome feels about Miaka? Also there is something wrong, Kimiko was pushing him away from some reason and she was hiding something. He blinked at his thoughts because they were going beyond heavy and he reflected on how come he was being able to read her feelings and thoughts. What was going on?
These thoughts were halted as Miaka was to be purified and they were to wait in a space in the temple to meditate to prepare for the ceremony.
Kimiko slept till her company reached Sairou.
~Kimiko~
* Yawn *
I was jerked rudely away as the carriage came to a stop. My forehead crashed painfully against the wooden inside. I couldn't place where I was because I was still half asleep dreaming of arms around me, a feral grin, wild messy flaming hair and warm lips on mine. When I blinked to clear the fuzziness of my vision from my eyes instead of clear amber eyes my emerald green eyes met with sapphire blue.
"We have to go now."
"Go where?"
I must have sounded like an idiot because of the slowness of my brain to wake up. Despite this, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Ayu…no…Nakago was looking at me with a expression that held emotion. I jumped slightly to awaken my senses to assure myself that I did not imagine him with that expression that was so unlike his character. I realised that did I really know Nakago at all? Did the sweet Ayuru lurk somewhere under that cold visage?
At that thought I normally would have raised my eyebrow but I hoped it was true. I wonder whether Nakago really does remember me and how does he remember me. It's complicated. Should I ask him or would I be killed because of that? I bit my lower lip absent-mindedly.
I felt a blast of air from the flowing cloak that Nakago wore as he swung himself around and walked away from the carriage with an unspoken command for her to follow him. I stared at the broad expanse of Nakago's back. After trailing after him for a while I saw the temple of Byakko. It was then I made a decision to question Nakago. I ran up to him walked along side him fast paced because his long strides made him faster. I point blank asked him quietly while looking straight ahead, "Nakago… do you remember when you were young? Have you really seen me before? Do you remember me?"
I felt him stop abruptly. Only then did I dare to look up. He paled but his sapphire eyes seemed to burn with a blue flame, what emotion I couldn't tell.
"Why did you leave?" he asked me emotionlessly.
I felt that I had to answer but no words came out. I toyed with my pendant before blurting out, "I had to. I don't know the reason. Only that I had to. I had no control over my leaving. Also I think I was supposed to."
He glared at me coldly. He then said evenly, "You thought I was too young to know that I loved you? Even at that age I knew I did. You can't say that I was innocent."
"Nakago you do not love me. I was just there for you. Let me ask you…. Did you know anything that happened the night I left? After that, did the emperor touch you again?"
He looked at me in cold fury and then in a low baritone, "How should I know? He didn't. Now I'm strong enough to take revenge on him and the rest of the people who killed off my family. Who are you to say anything about my feelings? Weren't you the one who told me to 'strive', to 'survive'?" His low spoken words were laced with ice.
This was the difference in the character I saw in the show and the one I changed. The motives are slightly different. This was a misunderstanding!
"I have nothing to back me up on the love department but I grew up thinking love was nothing. I still kinda do but how do you know whether you are sincere or just basing it on my actions towards you when you were hurt? Also when I told you to strive I meant that to strive for your survival in a good way. Make yourself successful and good not achieve pain and suffering for everyone around you with dominance!" I spoke these words tightly. "The emperor didn't dare go near you after that night and I thought it would allow you to grow strong positively… I made sure of that."
He looked fixedly at me and under his breath he said before turning away and walking, "I think I still love you." I suppose I wasn't supposed to hear that.
I closed my eyes in disbelief and trailed after him again in silence.
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The Suzaku troupe were in the west wing of the Byakko temple preparing for the ceremony. The Seiryuu troupe entered the east wing of the Byakko temple. They did not meet. Both groups were being careful is covering their ki knowing that the enemy maybe close in the surrounding area as they had to summon their beast god as well. This was why they were in the same temple without knowledge of the other group.
~Tasuki~
Something is wrong. I can feel it. This is too easy and it's almost too quiet. Something will happen soon. Something big. But what?
Suddenly I went flying forwards. My body made contact with the hard stone walls and immense pain shook my out of my reverie.
"Iteeeeeeeee! Nu-ri-ko!"
"Oops! Gomen! But we are ready to start now. Miaka is ready!"
I then realised that the whole troupe was waiting for me. When I saw Miaka in her miko getup I felt relief that this whole journey was almost over.
~Nakago~
I stood with my back against the cold wall of the temple, waiting for Yui to finish her purification.
Dear Seiryuu! I think I still love the woman. Why did she have to bring everything up now? What does she mean when she said that she made sure of it that fateful night?
Yui came out of the doors in her miko robes. This can wait. More important matters are at hand.
~Kimiko~
I can feel the others close by. Tasuki…Nuriko…minna…gomen for betraying you. The feeling of having to betray the people that were most dear to me settled onto me like a heavy weight.
Yui coming out in her exquisite miko robes felt like a declaration of my betrayal. Nevertheless, I tensed myself when Nakago came over and led me and the rest of the troupe to the place for Yui to summon Seiryuu. Nakago gave out a very strong intimidating aura. Suzaku… onegai… please be summoned before Seiryuu is.
I closed my eyes taking a deep breath before Nakago slammed open the doors leading to the place. The first thing that I saw was the flame coloured hair and amber eyes staring at me in shock and a hint of hurt.
K'so… I'm screwed. I just realised that Nakago stood next to me holding my arm so I wouldn't run over to them. At first I stared into those eyes boldly then broke the gaze to stare at the ground trying to convey to Tasuki that it was over.
Hell! He would probably declare it was over anyway once he found out that I was Seiryuu's granddaughter. Then he would probably kill me. At that thought, I felt something in the very core of my soul tear and only then did I force myself to look up blankly.
I knew what would happen next. And it did. Tasuki came near without his comrades and started yelling the incantation for the flame throwing tessen. Suddenly the trance everyone was in broke. Nakago shielded us from the flames with a ki shield. Everything was in chaos. The Seiryuu fought the Suzaku. I was in the middle of it all. The mikos scrambled up to the platform looked at each other then their seishi, the shinzahos placed and back at each other.
Ki balls, flames, curses and demons all were in the fray. A demon which was dark blue, red eyes, humongous and with horns charged at me and only then did I realise I was in the huge seishi fight not merely a spectator! I squeezed my eyes shut and flung up a shield as if it were a second nature. My ki wavered as the huge demon pounded on the transparent flickering shield. I couldn't manage to bring up enough strength to form a ki ball. The demon was strong.
Suddenly a blast of blue ki and fiery orange flames hit the demon in front of me. I saw the scene once again in slow motion as if I were underwater and I could hear nothing. Nakago was smirking as he fired ki ball after ki ball while saying something in his calm manner. Tasuki on the other hand widened his eyes then narrowed them in hate. He said something I couldn't hear.
Blue and red ki flew above my head as I kept up a shield trying to keep everything in view to protect myself. I felt weakened until my shield dropped without me knowing as I threw a ki ball at the ground near Tomo and Nuriko. He was using illusions to strangle Nuriko. Making sure that I did hurt either of the seishi, I hoped the ki ball woke Nuriko up from his illusion.
I felt rather than saw or heard Tasuki call out my name and throw himself on top of me. Time stopped as I felt his warmth. I wondered what he was doing. I wanted to tell him to stop fighting because I was part of the Seiryuu now. He should hate me. Then everything happened all at once, lightning struck him and me. He took most of the attack as the lightning had to go through him before me.
"Soi!" I gasped out.
It was unlike anything I have ever felt before. The electricity zipped through my veins burning me inside out. I bit my lip hard fighting not to cry out in pain. I felt myself convulsing in the agonising few minutes. Everything went white in front on my eyes making me feel as if I were blind. A thought voiced itself out in my mind. If this was this painful for me how about Tasuki?!
"Baka! Get out of here now! Nigero![1]" He hoarsely said into my ear cringing in pain.
I shook my head unable to say anything else pulling air deep into my lungs when a blue ki ball crashed into Tasuki throwing him off me. I saw Nakago glare coldly at Tasuki and me. Tasuki still persisted in dragging himself to his feet then grabbed me by the waist and literally threw me out of the whole fray.
I cried out in angry surprise then hissed at the scratches I obtained as I slide against the rocky floor. As I lay sprawled in an area between the fight and the mikos dazed, I felt torn. I wanted to help both of the groups of seishi. Is this what Suzaku meant? I'm supposed to do something to balance them? I can't! How? I watched paralysed as the seishi slowly stopped fighting to listen for something all except for Tasuki and Nakago. They formed two sides with Tasuki and Nakago combating heatedly in between the two groups.
As I prayed for some help, I heard two strong determined ethereal voices rise up over the noise. I recognised that incantation! It was the summoning incantation! Masaka! Miaka and Yui are both summoning the Gods! Nuriko suddenly appeared at my side. I had bruises, scratches and a broken rib I deduced from the concentrated pain in my side. Nuriko looked no better. Painful looking wounds were present on his normally smooth and soft skin.
We stared up into the sky hearing their voices swirl around us. Both mikos were regally challenging each other with their inner strength as they called upon their gods to counter the other's attack.
Flashes of bright light exploded into the night sky. Somehow I could see the heavenly beast gods descend from somewhere in the sky like a portal. They shot downwards to earth in their beast forms. I blinked then realising I was staring unblinkingly at the bright flashes which could blind me when the gods landed with a huge impact causing a small earthquake. The combat clashes faded into the background as I fixed my eyes on the holy gods in their avatar appearances.
Oji-sama stood there staring at Yui as if assessing her before speaking. Nakago acted so much like him. Cold, unfeeling, calculative yet there was something different under all that. I'm hoping that it is the same with my oji-sama.
On the other hand Suzaku was speaking to his miko in tones that seemed warm enough. The weird thing was that I couldn't hear what the gods were saying it was as if someone had blocked all sound from my ears. As though they knew I was watching their holy selves, the two unearthly Gods turned their piercing beamlike gazes onto me. As I caught a look of sympathy and grief in their expressive eyes, I felt something snap within me. I grabbed my chest heaving, breathing heavily. My vision started to get blurry around the edges.
My throat constricted as I tried to scream watching the god couple with the mikos. The mikos dropped to the floor writhing in agony as the beast gods in them were too powerful for their mortal bodies to handle. I finally realised that Nuriko was holding me up.
"N-nuriko, find out whether Miaka and Yui are all right. Onegai!" he looked at me strangely and asked whether I was all right before going to see to the priestesses. Suboshi and Tamahome carried their priestesses to their own groups respectively.
A clap of thunder and flash of light lit up the vast night sky as the beast gods Seiryuu and Suzaku fought in the sky causing destruction. I used my arms to drag my body up. My arms trembled with the effort. My insides still were roiling and the ache in my side screamed pain every time I jostled it. I saw Tasuki get slammed into a pillar. I yelped as my heart constricted in shame of betrayal.
"Yamete…yamete Tasuki. Stop fighting. "I whispered feeling tears spring to my eyes.
I knew he couldn't hear me but I willed him to hear me. Suddenly I spoke out loud and my voice took on an eerie echoic tone because I came to accept who I was, "Yamete Tasuki! Stop fighting! You'll be killed if you keep this up! I'm Seiryuu's granddaughter, so stop fighting onegai!" on the last word I spoke my voice broke off dejectedly.
With tears blurring my vision I didn't see or didn't want to see his reaction. I could imagine his reaction so clearly in my head. He turned his head towards me, beautiful amber eyes wide in shock while Nakago smirks in victory. I inhaled deeply in attempt to impede the tears from flowing.
My eyes closed I felt myself rising. I could feel my body change and I accepted it and stopped struggling against it.
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There were quite a few things Kimiko didn't see when she rose into the sky accepting her role. Her transformation was awe binding. With her declaration, nearly all the seishi were contemplating this new development so much that they didn't notice that the mikos were growing weaker. And Tasuki? You'll find out in the next chapter.
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Notes: yea yea I know… it's a cliffie and its short! But I had to write SOMETHING to get through writer's block, use the time allowed and other reasons… I know you guys will understand.. but as I've said before I'm afraid this fic is coming to a close VERY SOON… perhaps less than 10 more chapters. * feels teary * *sniff* But I hope you all still will enjoy it because I am doing this to please myself and you all!
Arigatou!
Matta ne!
~Fiery- Ice~
P.S: R/R onegai shimasu! Arigatou!!