It wasn't about the hair. It wasn't about the popularity. No, it was much deeper than that.
Truth be told, when I met Kate Saunders, I felt a true connection with her. Sure we were first graders, but since that time that she told me that we were the most popular kids in the whole first grade, I loved her.
Some can dissmiss it as a silly schoolboy crush, others could say that we were just two popular people, looking for someone with their status to date.
But, no. No, it was much deeper than that.
I still experience the same feeling that I did when I first saw her. That feeling that the world around me could cease to exist, and I wouldn't care, if she was standing beside me.
You laugh now, but maybe you would feel differently if you knew.
Maybe I should start from the beginning.
The very beginning.
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"Ethan, this is Tawny."
My dad introduced me to Tawny for the first time, when I was only six. Even though I was so young, I could still sense something wrong about this woman.
My dad spent a lot of time with Tawny, and even though I knew this, I could not dare tell my mother. I thought that I could not, it would hurt her feelings too much, if she thought that dad liked someone better than her.
One day I came home from school, brimming with joy because it was the last day of school. Instead of my mom, who usually greeted me when I got off the bus, I saw my dad and Tawny sitting at the kitchen table.
"Where's mom?" I asked.
"Ethan-" my dad started.
"Where is she, and why is she here?"
"There was...an accident, and your mom didn't survive."
"Where is she?"
"Ethan," Tawny said in a gentle voice, "she is not coming back."
I looked up at my dad. He seemed to not care that my mom was never going to come home again.
"But...where is she?"
"She's dead, Ethan," my dad crudely explained.
I burst into tears.
"I HATE YOU!" I yelled angrily, and retreated to my room.
My mom, the only one who was there for me, was...
My mom, the only mom at the father-son baseball game at school, because I called her in tears when my dad didn't show, was...
My mom, who was in the middle of painting a baseball mural on my wall, was...
I could not even think of the word. All I could think about was how Tawny was going to replace her.
But Tawny did not seem like the type of woman who would slide for the winning home run at my game, or who would bake twenty dozen cookies for the bake sale.
She just seemed like the type of person who would steal my dad from my mom.
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Six months after my mom's funeral, Tawny and my dad were already lined up for the altar.
They begged and pleaded for me to be my dad's best man, saying how cute I would be, but I refused. I would not even show my face at the church. Not that my dad would care, as he proceeded to send me to a friend's house for two weeks, when he and Tawny were on their honeymoon.
Soon after that, he moved me to a place called Hillridge. I still haven't really forgiven him for moving me from Los Angeles.
My dad, however, tried to buy my forgiveness. He hired a painter to recreate the mural on my wall. But, all of the money he spent, couldn't change that he discarded my mom for someone old enough to be my sister.
Even though I had to leave my unfinished baseball mural (which I protested for hours, but soon lost when painters came to paint all of the walls neutral), I came to like Hillridge as a home.
As I met new friends, like Danny Kessler, who came to be my best friend, and others, I seemed to be adjusting well enough. I was cool and popular on the outside, but no one even bothered to look on the inside.
No one bothered to ask why I gave up on my academics, or why I skipped school when we had to make cards for our mothers on Mother's Day.
Not even my father, who left me to go on several vacations with Tawny, and abandoned me.
No one until Kate...
...who knew what I felt like from experience.
Truth be told, when I met Kate Saunders, I felt a true connection with her. Sure we were first graders, but since that time that she told me that we were the most popular kids in the whole first grade, I loved her.
Some can dissmiss it as a silly schoolboy crush, others could say that we were just two popular people, looking for someone with their status to date.
But, no. No, it was much deeper than that.
I still experience the same feeling that I did when I first saw her. That feeling that the world around me could cease to exist, and I wouldn't care, if she was standing beside me.
You laugh now, but maybe you would feel differently if you knew.
Maybe I should start from the beginning.
The very beginning.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Ethan, this is Tawny."
My dad introduced me to Tawny for the first time, when I was only six. Even though I was so young, I could still sense something wrong about this woman.
My dad spent a lot of time with Tawny, and even though I knew this, I could not dare tell my mother. I thought that I could not, it would hurt her feelings too much, if she thought that dad liked someone better than her.
One day I came home from school, brimming with joy because it was the last day of school. Instead of my mom, who usually greeted me when I got off the bus, I saw my dad and Tawny sitting at the kitchen table.
"Where's mom?" I asked.
"Ethan-" my dad started.
"Where is she, and why is she here?"
"There was...an accident, and your mom didn't survive."
"Where is she?"
"Ethan," Tawny said in a gentle voice, "she is not coming back."
I looked up at my dad. He seemed to not care that my mom was never going to come home again.
"But...where is she?"
"She's dead, Ethan," my dad crudely explained.
I burst into tears.
"I HATE YOU!" I yelled angrily, and retreated to my room.
My mom, the only one who was there for me, was...
My mom, the only mom at the father-son baseball game at school, because I called her in tears when my dad didn't show, was...
My mom, who was in the middle of painting a baseball mural on my wall, was...
I could not even think of the word. All I could think about was how Tawny was going to replace her.
But Tawny did not seem like the type of woman who would slide for the winning home run at my game, or who would bake twenty dozen cookies for the bake sale.
She just seemed like the type of person who would steal my dad from my mom.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Six months after my mom's funeral, Tawny and my dad were already lined up for the altar.
They begged and pleaded for me to be my dad's best man, saying how cute I would be, but I refused. I would not even show my face at the church. Not that my dad would care, as he proceeded to send me to a friend's house for two weeks, when he and Tawny were on their honeymoon.
Soon after that, he moved me to a place called Hillridge. I still haven't really forgiven him for moving me from Los Angeles.
My dad, however, tried to buy my forgiveness. He hired a painter to recreate the mural on my wall. But, all of the money he spent, couldn't change that he discarded my mom for someone old enough to be my sister.
Even though I had to leave my unfinished baseball mural (which I protested for hours, but soon lost when painters came to paint all of the walls neutral), I came to like Hillridge as a home.
As I met new friends, like Danny Kessler, who came to be my best friend, and others, I seemed to be adjusting well enough. I was cool and popular on the outside, but no one even bothered to look on the inside.
No one bothered to ask why I gave up on my academics, or why I skipped school when we had to make cards for our mothers on Mother's Day.
Not even my father, who left me to go on several vacations with Tawny, and abandoned me.
No one until Kate...
...who knew what I felt like from experience.