Drugs and Lesbians

(Back at the studio, Rin and Kohaku enter through the door. InuYasha stands leaning against the doorframe.)

InuYasha: what up? Where's what's his face?

Rin: Sesshoumaru? Oh Rin…

(Kohaku looks at her. Rin looks ashamed and gets all emotional.)

Rin: *tears well up in eyes* It was *sniff* and accident. Rin was… he. I don't know. *wailing* He fell down the stairs and 22 cars ran him over, including a SEMI-TRUCK!!! IT'S ALL RIN'S FAULT!!!! *breaks down*

(Kohaku walks away. InuYasha looks down and holds out his hand.)

InuYasha: Nice.

(Rin, completely recovered, slaps his hand in a low five…thing)

Rin: You know it. His whellcahir flew through a car windshield, caused a pile up, totaled a pickup, and killed a butterfly! So what's going on?

InuYasha: *sigh*

( He points to Kagome who is clearly unstable. He staggers around the studio bumping into random objects and then laughs hysterically at herself. She wonders into Kouga and falls limply to her knees.)

Kagome: Ya know (hiccups/burps) Most people..er.. men, guys, people of the male persuasion. No transvestites though, or cross dressers or… ( gets dizzy and falls over. She lays on the ground, looking up at Kouga) Them peoples… thems, theys can't pull off wear'n skirts like you do. some how, it manages to be very manly, you jump'n around in a fuzzy loan cloth with the wind wafting between your thighs.

(Kouga looks blankly at her and she looks all seriously at him.)

Kagome: Maybe it's cause you got such a big d

-KAGOME!!!!!!!-

Naraku: Kagome darling, there you are! * helps Kagome up off her feet) You poor thing. Come on, I'll make you some coffee.

(Kouga stands there, his eyes start to water up.)

Kouga: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

Rin: ( to InuYasha) What the hell was that?! She drunk or somethin'?

InuYasha: No, that wouldn't be nearly as disgraceful. The dumb bitch was try'n to prove somethin' about not being a BORING dumb bitch. Shippou offered her somethin' to help her get in touch with her " wild side."

Rin: He gave her CRACK!!??

InuYasha: no…. Ibuprofen.

Rin: ?

InuYasha: Yes, she's doped up on Ibuprofen. That's not even the worst of it. Check this out. *Holds out a Newspaper. The front page headline reads; Little Lesbian Hit By Car.*

Rin: So?

(Sango runs up and grabs the newspaper from InuYasha with her good arm. Her other arm is held in a sling.)

Sango: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!! *goes into hysterics* I have a name you know! And I'm NOT GAY!!! Why is it that every time a woman speaks her mind or… or tries to express a new point of view everyone immediately labels her a Dike?!?!

InuYasha: Uh, nobody's called you that yet. Ha, Dike. Funny.

Rin: What the hell are ya talk'n about?

Sango: They won't get away with this. I may be the victim of a hit and run but I will NOT be the victim of assumptions!!!

InuYasha: You mean, your not gay?

Sango: NO!!!! AH! I'm so pissed. They wanna pull this shit, well we'll take it to court!

InuYasha: You're suing them?

Sango: DAMN STRAIGHT!!

(She storms away, tossing the newspaper aside. Rin picks it up.)

Rin: Too bad she can't sue them. This newspaper sponsors our program.

InuYasha: That's so typical. The real irony of this situation is that Gloria Steinam was driving the car that hit Sango.

Rin: ….. I don't get it.

InuYasha: Apparently it's a joke for politically intelligent people.

Kirara: Gloria Steinam is a famous feminist is politics today.

(Rin and InuYasha just stare)

InuYasha: I…I didn't know you could talk.

Kirara: Yes well, there's not much you Do know. I just choose not to speak on a regular basis as a precaution.

InuYasa: Precaution?

Kirara: Yes, I fear the consequences of associating myself with people of your * ahem* status. I'm only out here to take my drinking break.

(Kirara leans against the wall on her hind legs holding a margarita glass in her right front paw and sipping it with delicacy.)

Rin: I didn't know you drank.

Kirara: Child how else do you think I would manage to survive among the people of this cast?

Rin: You know, you might provide me with some entertainment if I lit you on fire.

(Rin and Kirara stare each other down. Kirara concludes that this is immature and leaves. Rin stares at InuYasha in silence for about minute.)

Rin: Ya know, you're pretty mellow today.

(InuYasha shrugs)

To be continued…

No one in particular: Well, that was pointless.