Changing Perceptions
By Nerwen Calaelen
Chapter 6
Disclaimer: I don't own LotR. I (possibly) own the characters that I invented and the plot of the story, nothing else, so don't sue me!
A/N: This chapter is much longer. I'm supposed to be doing revision at the moment but writing is more interesting.
Rating: I've said PG-13, but I don't think it merits it at all at the moment, but there will be more violence if I continue and I was not really sure about the rating anyway.
Replies to reviewers:
Waseom: Thank you for the review and for beta reading for me.
Blue Iris: Thank you very much. I like your idea, I'm not sure where it'll fit in yet, but I think it would be interesting to look at that as well.
Soledad: Thank you. I think most of the rest of the story is going to be in Khand, so will show more about the land and its culture.
***
Razzuga smiled as she looked out of the carriage window. No matter that death and war had brought her here, she was still glad of the change.
\\ And to be attending a banquet at the imperial palace when we have just arrived here is very fortunate. It seems as if my dreams of adventure are coming true. So why do I feel as if something is wrong? Is it because everything appears to be too good to be true? \\
The carriage halted and Razzuga followed her parents out and into the palace. She looked around at the crowded hall as they entered. She had forgotten the scale of the place and the feeling of being in such a crowd. They had been shown directly into the main dinning hall, as the banquet would be commencing shortly.
Soon Razzuga had found a group of acquaintances from her last visit to the city, and joined them, eagerly listening to their chatter of fashions and scandals. She quickly forgot her worries in the excitement of meeting new people and she was watching out for people that she felt that she would like to get to know better, those who seemed to have interests beyond the gossip. Too soon for her taste it was time for the banquet to begin.
***
Azklash listened to his advisors as they sat around him. They had once again brought up the subject of marriage and he was sick of listening to their talk of it. Ever since his coronation they had been pressuring him to marry and so he determined to end it.
"Very well. I shall marry. In fact, I will pick a wife now. Is there any reason why I can not marry any woman in this room now?"
"I am sure there will not be as her family would be greatly honoured by your decision, O Emperor," Globthak said. \\Even if she was already married I am sure that her family would not object. Now how can I get him to choose my niece? That would be the best for me, as it would greatly enhance my position.\\
Azklash let his eyes roam around the room. He had no intention of allowing his advisors to try to persuade him of the merit of their choices for him and he intended to finish this business at once. Most people were still in their places from dinner, some of the women were fidgeting whilst waiting for the men to finish their conversations and allow them to leave, others were waiting patiently. Azklash looked from face to face, discounting all those who were fidgeting. He was looking for a woman that he could marry and then forget about, one that would not embarrass him with scandals or by demand attention. After a minute he pointed to a girl sitting at one of back tables.
"That one. I will marry her. Who is she?"
"Which lady, my lord?"
"There. Sitting still, very dark hair, blue dress."
"Ah. I see her now."
"Fetch her father here now." The guard hurried off to do as he had been commanded. In a moment Mauburz was brought in front of the Emperor. He bowed and awaited his lord's words, assuming he had been summoned to report on the situation on the southern border and so the Emperor's words took him completely by surprise.
"I will marry your daughter. The wedding will take place a month from today."
"My lord, you do me too much honour, but I fear you mistake her, she does not have much of a dowry." Even whilst he uttered these words Muaburz's thoughts were in turmoil, \\She is my only daughter and it is wonderful news that she will marry the Emperor, but he is not a good man. Will she be happy? She seemed really pleased to learn of her engagement to Olrat, but he is quite possibly dead and this is a much better match for her. I wish I could even convince myself of that. However, there is no way I can prevent it, so I must pretend to be ecstatic about it. \\
"The dowry is of no consequence." He dismissed the man in front of him with a gesture.
***
"And so you will marry the Emperor in a month."
\\ How can he seem so calm whilst he is announcing my fate? I will not accept this, but what can I do to prevent it? I do not wish to marry him, but I have no choice in the matter. If only there was some way that I could stop this. And even if there was then my father would kill me for ruining his chances of advancement and the Emperor would punish my family. If only I was free, if only Olrat was here to save me. But what could he do? I can think of no way to escape this without harming my family, so I suppose I must face it bravely. \\
***
In the intervening time, Razzuga was determined to make more friends and especially to make friends who shared her interests. This was helped by her enhanced status, as she was expected to receive guests and all would be honoured to be invited.
She glanced nervously around the group. It was her first time hosting such an important gathering; before there had never been more than half a dozen others present before. She was trying to think of a good way to start an interesting conversation without speaking too soon of anything which might be regarded as inappropriate.
Her luck was with her for one of the other girls, Skrabada, passingly referred to one of the tenets of philosophy that she had studied and so Razzuga quickly leapt in with the counter argument in a friendly manner and so started a debate on philosophy. Quickly most of those gathered there joined in the debate.
Aragga looked around the group, and wondered if she should take the lead in this group. True it was Razzuga's party and she did not want to offend the future Empress, but she wanted to turn the conversation onto more serious matters and she was not certain if Razzuga had any intention of doing so,
\\ She appears to be interested in philosophy, but that does not necessarily mean that she is actually interested in discussing the war, especially as it could be considered treason. She has shown herself to be less empty headed than most women in this city, but that does not necessarily imply that she is not loyal to her future husband. Although I doubt that she has even met him, and I remember talk of an earlier betrothal, so it may be that she will gladly join in plotting for change. It is worth taking a chance, but carefully. \\
"Well maybe we should agree to disagree on that. We can not hope to solve in one afternoon a problem that philosophers have debated for so long. Perhaps it would be more interesting for us to talk of any news or rumours that we have heard about the war. We are all so affected by it that I am sure we all wish for more information."
"Yes. I will start, as although I have heard no definite information and probably you have all heard more rumours than me, having been here so much longer than me. However, I overheard a discussion between my father and a friend of his. They believe that the war in the west is lost and that war with Harad is about to begin." Razzuga tried to regain control of her party, as she felt resentful of Arraga for taking it over.
"War with Harad! Are they not still our allies? Are you certain?"
"That is what they were saying and my father clearly believed it enough to relocate our entire household here. Maybe the rest of you could share what you have heard, for they were talking about many rumours about the war in the west, but I am sure you have heard more recent rumours that you would like to share with us."
"I heard that the army of Gondor had marched out to destroy Sauron and succeeded."
"And that their cities are defended by the Elves."
"The dead have risen to fight for them."
"Our whole army has been annihilated and any survivors given over to the Elves to torture to death."
"Sauron is vanquished and so the Nazgul are no more."
"No messengers have come from Sauron recently."
"The army of Gondor is marching on Harad."
"A few soldiers have returned but have been imprisoned at the border so that no one will find out what happened."
"So now we have all heard the rumours, does anyone have any real information as many of these rumours seem impossible or unlikely? No? Then let us all keep our ears open and when we meet again, pass on any information that we have discovered."
"Indeed, I fear we must take our leave as it is nearly time for dinner and I am sure that none of your families will be any happier than mine if you arrive back late." They all departed leaving Razzuga alone with her thoughts,
\\ Well, I have made a start towards one of my goals: a group of friends who are interested in more than gossip, but I had hoped to be the leader of this group and it would not appear that that is going to be the case. I wonder where this will go. I hope they will become my good friends and I hope we will be able to talk of more things together. The longer I am here, the more things I notice are wrong. For example, all these banquets that the Emperor throws and all the food that is wasted at them. It would seem bad to do this whilst the people of the city are short of food and it is still only spring. I fear that when the winter comes they will die of starvation unless he helps them, but he seems to have no interest in doing so. Why do they let him rule? I believe that almost anyone could do a better job of it that him. Is the only reason that he is allowed to continue the presence of a thousand well-trained troops here in the city? Are they only here to protect him? If so, why are they loyal to him and will their loyalty last if they find out the fate of the army that he sent west? Would they not do more good on the borders, defending us from Harad?' Razzuga shook her head to dismiss these thoughts.
***
The three of them met many times over the next month and became better friends. Arraga quickly learnt to take a quieter role and let Razzuga think that she was controlling the group and thinking of the new ideas. Skrabada was a good friend, but Arraga was very worried about her indiscreetness, she talked about their discussions to many people, and so had enlarged their group. However Arraga was sure that soon her luck would break and she would be caught and arrested for treason. After that there would seem a very good chance that she would betray them under torture. However, Razzuga had come to trust her and would not listen to any hints Arraga tried to give her.
In their discussions they talked about the future, both in real terms and in an idea way. Soon they had made plans for what they would like to change and how they would like to do it. It had been in about the second or third of their meetings that Olrat's name had come up and it was clear to Arraga that Razzuga was very much in love with him. She pitied her friend, but did not believe all the wonderful stories she told about him. It was however one of her tales about his travels in the East that inspired her.
Razzuga had been telling the story and mentioned that some of the tribes appeared to be governed by council, instead of by one man.
"I wonder how that system works. It would seem more logical that to assume that a man is the best to rule because of whom his father was. Do you not see how that system could work here?"
"But how could such a council be chosen and who could sit upon it? We have the council, but it is selected by the Emperor, and helps him to govern…"
"But has no real power of its own. Perhaps it could be the basis for a proper council made up of those of suitable birth and talent."
"Who would select them if you no longer had an Emperor?"
"We could. Or the members could select others to join them."
"But then there would be no way to change them but by revolution. What we need is a system where all of us could help to choose those who rule us."
"But could that ever work?"
"I do not know, but would it not be worth trying? If the people got a say in the important decisions would they not be happier?"
"Would they? And what if they did not make the right decisions?"
"Which decisions are right? Would the fact that more people are involved in the circumstances allow more balanced decisions to be reached? You can see how badly our ruling system is failing at the moment and I question whether replacing one Emperor by another would significantly change it for the better in the longer term."
***
The day of the wedding came around much more quickly than Razzuga would have believed possible. She awoke before dawn and sat by the window to watch the sun rise.
\\ I still have no answers or plans. How can I do this? I always knew that I would marry whoever my father wanted, but then he chose Olrat and I was happy. I had come to believe that would be my life and had accepted it, but now it will not be and I still have no choice. I have a small knife hidden, but if I used it on either myself or him then my family would suffer and I will not be the cause of their suffering. \\
\\ I wanted adventure in my life and I got it, but now I wish that I could have my old life back. I will never be free, instead of being a prisoner in my home; I will be a prisoner in the palace. In fact I will probably never see my home again. \\
\\ Why must this be my fate? Is there someway that I can find an advantage in this? Maybe I will be able to influence the Emperor to help his people, to rule well, but I can not believe that he would listen to me. Arraga would say that it is impossible; however I will not despair yet. I will see what this day brings before I lose all my hope, for I have never spoken to him and so he might really be a good man and one that I could learn to love. I do not believe that will be the case but I must cling to what hope remains to me. \\
\\ Arraga is always talking of rebellions and changing systems, but how could this occur? And would anyone accept it? It is surely treason and I do not want any part of it. \\
***
A/N: Please review! If anyone has any suggestions or corrections for me I'd love to know, but I like any reviews, please.