Kokoro no Hitan
I don't remember specific details after that. I remember getting lost and wandering around for hours until I finally got out again, not caring or worrying about my situation at all as I did so. I remember walking by a blurry form that looked and sounded like Haru, but my mind was so closed at this point that I might have just been imagining it.
And then I remember being in my house, and the soft, comforting feeling of my bed under my body as I passed out, tears drenching my face and still pouring out of my eyes.
I woke up when the light of a fresh dawn poured in through my window. The soft rays of that sun brough a smile to my face, but only for as long as it took my thoughts to regroup and for me to remember just what exactly had happened mere hours before, and why I was still in the same clothes I had been the day before.
Once again tears came forth, and my chest that hurt from sobbing yesterday hurt even more as began to sob again.
I knew he was going to say that, I remember thinking as I rolled over onto my back and looked at the ceiling. So then...why?... I thought, as I turned onto my side and brought one of my hands up to my face. Why does it hurt so much?
-Kagura Sohma
~~~
A wave of worry washed over me as I saw Kagura had already started to run off. I had came to the door as quickly as I could, but apparently not quick enough. I had heard her squeak out the first half of my name, I knew something was wrong, but I was still too late.
I breifly looked at Kyo after I called after. He had been looking at me, still blushing from his conversation with Kagura, but when I looked at him he looked at his feet. He knew what he had done. When I ran off after her I remember feeling him look at me, and then he turned around and closed the door behind him as he walked into the house.
Chikusho, Kagura. Why did you do this? I thought.
I wandered around those woods for hours with no results. She was gone.
I sighed as I gave up and left the Sohma property to head home.
To my surprise, on the way there, Kagura passed me on the sidewalk. She looked fatigued, tears drying on her face, her body hunched over in defeat. I tried to stop her by saying a few things, but it was as if she couldn't hear me. I couldn't see her eyes, but I'm sure that if I could have, they would've probably been blank. She just wasn't in this world when she walked by me.
-Haru Sohma
~~~
I must've passed out again after I did that, because my room was starting to get dark when I woke up again.
I wasn't hungry. I knew I should eat something, but the urge wasn't there, and my stomach felt like it probably wouldn't have cooperated had I tried anyway.
The pain in my heart had subdued a bit with the the passing of that day, but it still hurt too much to even move, and hurt even more when my thoughts wandered and I started to think. I was lost. Soo lost, and I didn't know what to do anymore. And on top of that, the feeling of lonliness was so heavy that it made it hard to breathe.
I didn't want to get up. Didn't want to watch TV, read a book, talk on the phone to my friends. I didn't want to face the day, life,...Kyo. Hope was gone. I love you so much, Kyo. I remember thinking. No one can love you as much as I do. Too bad you just can't see things through the same eyes I can.
-Kagura Sohma
~~~
The look on Kyo's face when he walked back into the room was one of guilt. His head hung as he sat down across from me at the table.
I was debating with myself whether I wanted to ask what had happened or not. After all, Hatsuharu had seemed like he was the only one that had came to see him, but that voice that called Hatsuharu's name definately sounded like Kagura.
"Ano...Kyo? Daijoubu?"
It took him a few moments to answer my question.
"H-hai, Tohru." He looked up and in the direction of the front door. Something was definately wrong.
"Ano...Kyo, you know you can tell me, right?"
He looked at me and then looked at his feet, slightly blushing. "It's Kagura."
I knew it! I remember thinking. But what's got him so upset?
He looked toward the door again. "Nee, Tohru, you remember how I said I wanted to live with you, for us to be together?"
"H-hai." I didn't know what else to say. What's he trying to get at? I thought.
"Kagura...," he sighed. "Kagura...knows." He looked down again.
At this point, I knew there was some greater meaning behind what he was actually saying. Maybe it had to do with the fact that we had feelings about each other, though we never actually said how we truly felt. We just kind of hinted about it in a nonchalant sort of way.
So Kagura knew. Kagura had finally figured it out. But hadn't she kind-of realized it all along? Wasn't that why she let me go after Kyo and she didn't go after him herself? I was confused, but I pretty much understood. Kagura had figured out that there was something more than friendship developing between me and Kyo. But still, she had been stubborn enough before to try and win Kyo's heart before, why had she stopped now?
Did she just suddenly realize that she had no effect on him, that her outbursts were not pursuading him that a realtionship with her would be beneficial to them both? That had to be it. But she still must love him, which was why she had been avoiding him...no, me.
She had visited a couple of days after Kyo returned, and maybe she realized there was something different in the air, the way Kyo smiled at me more, how he just generally seemed happier. Maybe he shouldn't have ignored her so much, and wished to celebrate a few weeks ago that she had finally stopped badgering him.
Maybe she had actually tried to come to visit, but heard Kyo talking about her in this way, and instead of getting angry, got depressed and left. I still have no idea how she reacted to Kyo's transformation, what she did when he left and when I went after him. No one knew, really. Yuki had left soon to go after Kyo too. She had been alone, waiting for his return, but when he did return, she was nowhere to be found.
My feelings about this had been right. Something was definately wrong with Kagura, but could I help Kagura? Would she really want to see me, of all people? There would only be one way to find out.
-Tohru Honda
~~~
A/N: I know, it was weird that I included her, huh? I don't know. And I still don't know where this fanfic is going. *sigh* I don't know how it's going to end, either. That's if I actually finish writing it, which I hope I do. Right now, I'm going to watch some more Fruits Basket to make sure everyone sounds in character. (Even though this is just my interpretation of them.) Ah well, Ja nee!
I don't remember specific details after that. I remember getting lost and wandering around for hours until I finally got out again, not caring or worrying about my situation at all as I did so. I remember walking by a blurry form that looked and sounded like Haru, but my mind was so closed at this point that I might have just been imagining it.
And then I remember being in my house, and the soft, comforting feeling of my bed under my body as I passed out, tears drenching my face and still pouring out of my eyes.
I woke up when the light of a fresh dawn poured in through my window. The soft rays of that sun brough a smile to my face, but only for as long as it took my thoughts to regroup and for me to remember just what exactly had happened mere hours before, and why I was still in the same clothes I had been the day before.
Once again tears came forth, and my chest that hurt from sobbing yesterday hurt even more as began to sob again.
I knew he was going to say that, I remember thinking as I rolled over onto my back and looked at the ceiling. So then...why?... I thought, as I turned onto my side and brought one of my hands up to my face. Why does it hurt so much?
-Kagura Sohma
~~~
A wave of worry washed over me as I saw Kagura had already started to run off. I had came to the door as quickly as I could, but apparently not quick enough. I had heard her squeak out the first half of my name, I knew something was wrong, but I was still too late.
I breifly looked at Kyo after I called after. He had been looking at me, still blushing from his conversation with Kagura, but when I looked at him he looked at his feet. He knew what he had done. When I ran off after her I remember feeling him look at me, and then he turned around and closed the door behind him as he walked into the house.
Chikusho, Kagura. Why did you do this? I thought.
I wandered around those woods for hours with no results. She was gone.
I sighed as I gave up and left the Sohma property to head home.
To my surprise, on the way there, Kagura passed me on the sidewalk. She looked fatigued, tears drying on her face, her body hunched over in defeat. I tried to stop her by saying a few things, but it was as if she couldn't hear me. I couldn't see her eyes, but I'm sure that if I could have, they would've probably been blank. She just wasn't in this world when she walked by me.
-Haru Sohma
~~~
I must've passed out again after I did that, because my room was starting to get dark when I woke up again.
I wasn't hungry. I knew I should eat something, but the urge wasn't there, and my stomach felt like it probably wouldn't have cooperated had I tried anyway.
The pain in my heart had subdued a bit with the the passing of that day, but it still hurt too much to even move, and hurt even more when my thoughts wandered and I started to think. I was lost. Soo lost, and I didn't know what to do anymore. And on top of that, the feeling of lonliness was so heavy that it made it hard to breathe.
I didn't want to get up. Didn't want to watch TV, read a book, talk on the phone to my friends. I didn't want to face the day, life,...Kyo. Hope was gone. I love you so much, Kyo. I remember thinking. No one can love you as much as I do. Too bad you just can't see things through the same eyes I can.
-Kagura Sohma
~~~
The look on Kyo's face when he walked back into the room was one of guilt. His head hung as he sat down across from me at the table.
I was debating with myself whether I wanted to ask what had happened or not. After all, Hatsuharu had seemed like he was the only one that had came to see him, but that voice that called Hatsuharu's name definately sounded like Kagura.
"Ano...Kyo? Daijoubu?"
It took him a few moments to answer my question.
"H-hai, Tohru." He looked up and in the direction of the front door. Something was definately wrong.
"Ano...Kyo, you know you can tell me, right?"
He looked at me and then looked at his feet, slightly blushing. "It's Kagura."
I knew it! I remember thinking. But what's got him so upset?
He looked toward the door again. "Nee, Tohru, you remember how I said I wanted to live with you, for us to be together?"
"H-hai." I didn't know what else to say. What's he trying to get at? I thought.
"Kagura...," he sighed. "Kagura...knows." He looked down again.
At this point, I knew there was some greater meaning behind what he was actually saying. Maybe it had to do with the fact that we had feelings about each other, though we never actually said how we truly felt. We just kind of hinted about it in a nonchalant sort of way.
So Kagura knew. Kagura had finally figured it out. But hadn't she kind-of realized it all along? Wasn't that why she let me go after Kyo and she didn't go after him herself? I was confused, but I pretty much understood. Kagura had figured out that there was something more than friendship developing between me and Kyo. But still, she had been stubborn enough before to try and win Kyo's heart before, why had she stopped now?
Did she just suddenly realize that she had no effect on him, that her outbursts were not pursuading him that a realtionship with her would be beneficial to them both? That had to be it. But she still must love him, which was why she had been avoiding him...no, me.
She had visited a couple of days after Kyo returned, and maybe she realized there was something different in the air, the way Kyo smiled at me more, how he just generally seemed happier. Maybe he shouldn't have ignored her so much, and wished to celebrate a few weeks ago that she had finally stopped badgering him.
Maybe she had actually tried to come to visit, but heard Kyo talking about her in this way, and instead of getting angry, got depressed and left. I still have no idea how she reacted to Kyo's transformation, what she did when he left and when I went after him. No one knew, really. Yuki had left soon to go after Kyo too. She had been alone, waiting for his return, but when he did return, she was nowhere to be found.
My feelings about this had been right. Something was definately wrong with Kagura, but could I help Kagura? Would she really want to see me, of all people? There would only be one way to find out.
-Tohru Honda
~~~
A/N: I know, it was weird that I included her, huh? I don't know. And I still don't know where this fanfic is going. *sigh* I don't know how it's going to end, either. That's if I actually finish writing it, which I hope I do. Right now, I'm going to watch some more Fruits Basket to make sure everyone sounds in character. (Even though this is just my interpretation of them.) Ah well, Ja nee!