Kokoro no Hitan
"See...Tohru," I mumbled outloud as I stumbled away from that house, away from Kyo,...trying to escape from the pain in my heart. I nearly tripped and fell. "It...was pointless...Now...I feel...even worse." The words were seperated by sobs and tears.
"You know I don't feel the same way."
"Damn...it."
When my thoughts finally focused on my surroundings, I realized what I had done. I had wandered in no particular direction, except for the fact that it was away from him. I was in the middle of the forest, and night was falling. Dammit...."Damn...it," I mumbled as I hugged my arms across my chest and fell to my knees.
The sound of a small explosion filled my ears and brown smoke filled my eyes as my clothes fell on top of me and the world slowly went black.
-Kagura Sohma
~~~
This is bad. This is bad. I was worrying. I normally never worry about other people, nevermind Kagura!
Tohru walked down the stairs and I stared at her, not knowing what to say. She looked towards the front door. When she realized it was open, a look of shock and worry passed over her face. She then looked at me. I immediately looked at the floor.
Tohru then proceeded to walk toward the front door. Upon reaching it, she stood in the doorway, looking out into the distance.
She turned around and looked at me. "We have to go after her."
I nodded. I didn't have much of a choice, right? After all, all this was my fault, as much as I hate to admit it.
-Kyo Sohma
~~~
I had decided to go over and see Kagura when I was told that she had just been seen leaving with Tohru.
This confused me for a moment. Why would Kagura be with Tohru?
And then a wave of worry washed over me as I thought of a possible explaination. Tohru's probably taking Kagura to confront Kyo...But...But I already tried that...And it backfired...Horriblely...She probably has no idea just what kind of state Kagura's been in lately. She definately has not been herself...I don't know what she'll do if she's forced to do something again...And she was at least partially willing when I took her...And in a better state of mind...Chikusho!...
I took off at a run towards that piece of Sohma land seperated from the rest. I was worried out of my mind.
By the time I finally got there, twilight had already settled upon the forest.
I didn't even bother going to the house, I immediately began running along the trails.
What if she's transformed?...What if she wandered off a trail?...
My thoughts were racing as fast as my feet. I was going completely on instinct-left, right, left....
Darkness was falling. I couldn't see more than forty feet in front of me, the moon and stars the only luminesence lending me aid. My coat spread out like wings behind me as I jumped over a fallen log.
Kagura...Kagura...Where are you?
While I flew the forest, my thoughts wandered a bit. Why was this worrying me so much? I had never been that close to her. Maybe it was because I felt connected to her somehow. After all, we had both fallen for other members of the zodiac, other people like ourselves. We both pretty much didn't have a chance with the people we liked, and Tohru was an obstacle for both of us. Maybe that's what linked me to her, made me worry about her, and, in the end, maybe that's what led me to her, in her zodiac form, laying unconscious beneath her clothes.
-Haru Sohma
~~~
After we searched for three hours, in the end barely able to make out our own hands and feet, nevermind the trail, we turned back towards home.
Tohru was clearly worried, but there was nothing more we could do. It was too dark to search anymore, we were both tired, and we both could barely talk we had called out to her so much. And every time there was no response.
I did feel guilty, I still kind-of do, when I think about that, what I did, what I caused her to do. I guess she loved me more than I thought she did. But, I just always thought that she needed to get over me, and that she would, and then she'd find someone else. But as I waited for this to happen, she never did, and I just got more and more annoyed when she kept hanging all over me.
As we walked back, both of us dragging our feet, I felt soo heavy. Maybe it was because I was tired, or maybe it was because I knew this whole situation was my fault.
But it's not like I could change my emotions! I had feelings toward Tohru, not toward Kagura. Sure, she was an okay person and all, not half as bad as Haru when he goes Black, but I never felt that way towards her. Always a friend and only a friend.
Although right then, as I walked through the rapidly cooling air of that black forest, I didn't feel like a friend, I didn't even feel like an aquiaintance. I felt like one of those people, a total stranger, that curses at someone behind their back for no good reason. I felt like someone who had gotten drunk and then accidentally killed someone with their car. I felt guilty. And there was nothing I could do to change that.
-Kyo Sohma
~~~
A/N: Do you think it's bad that I still don't know where this story is going?...*nods* That's right, I still have no clue. *looks at chapter number* That might be bad, huh?...I don't even know what TYPE of ending it's going to have...Um...Oops?...Oh well...Keep reading! Enjoy it! And Review!! Thanks! ;)
"See...Tohru," I mumbled outloud as I stumbled away from that house, away from Kyo,...trying to escape from the pain in my heart. I nearly tripped and fell. "It...was pointless...Now...I feel...even worse." The words were seperated by sobs and tears.
"You know I don't feel the same way."
"Damn...it."
When my thoughts finally focused on my surroundings, I realized what I had done. I had wandered in no particular direction, except for the fact that it was away from him. I was in the middle of the forest, and night was falling. Dammit...."Damn...it," I mumbled as I hugged my arms across my chest and fell to my knees.
The sound of a small explosion filled my ears and brown smoke filled my eyes as my clothes fell on top of me and the world slowly went black.
-Kagura Sohma
~~~
This is bad. This is bad. I was worrying. I normally never worry about other people, nevermind Kagura!
Tohru walked down the stairs and I stared at her, not knowing what to say. She looked towards the front door. When she realized it was open, a look of shock and worry passed over her face. She then looked at me. I immediately looked at the floor.
Tohru then proceeded to walk toward the front door. Upon reaching it, she stood in the doorway, looking out into the distance.
She turned around and looked at me. "We have to go after her."
I nodded. I didn't have much of a choice, right? After all, all this was my fault, as much as I hate to admit it.
-Kyo Sohma
~~~
I had decided to go over and see Kagura when I was told that she had just been seen leaving with Tohru.
This confused me for a moment. Why would Kagura be with Tohru?
And then a wave of worry washed over me as I thought of a possible explaination. Tohru's probably taking Kagura to confront Kyo...But...But I already tried that...And it backfired...Horriblely...She probably has no idea just what kind of state Kagura's been in lately. She definately has not been herself...I don't know what she'll do if she's forced to do something again...And she was at least partially willing when I took her...And in a better state of mind...Chikusho!...
I took off at a run towards that piece of Sohma land seperated from the rest. I was worried out of my mind.
By the time I finally got there, twilight had already settled upon the forest.
I didn't even bother going to the house, I immediately began running along the trails.
What if she's transformed?...What if she wandered off a trail?...
My thoughts were racing as fast as my feet. I was going completely on instinct-left, right, left....
Darkness was falling. I couldn't see more than forty feet in front of me, the moon and stars the only luminesence lending me aid. My coat spread out like wings behind me as I jumped over a fallen log.
Kagura...Kagura...Where are you?
While I flew the forest, my thoughts wandered a bit. Why was this worrying me so much? I had never been that close to her. Maybe it was because I felt connected to her somehow. After all, we had both fallen for other members of the zodiac, other people like ourselves. We both pretty much didn't have a chance with the people we liked, and Tohru was an obstacle for both of us. Maybe that's what linked me to her, made me worry about her, and, in the end, maybe that's what led me to her, in her zodiac form, laying unconscious beneath her clothes.
-Haru Sohma
~~~
After we searched for three hours, in the end barely able to make out our own hands and feet, nevermind the trail, we turned back towards home.
Tohru was clearly worried, but there was nothing more we could do. It was too dark to search anymore, we were both tired, and we both could barely talk we had called out to her so much. And every time there was no response.
I did feel guilty, I still kind-of do, when I think about that, what I did, what I caused her to do. I guess she loved me more than I thought she did. But, I just always thought that she needed to get over me, and that she would, and then she'd find someone else. But as I waited for this to happen, she never did, and I just got more and more annoyed when she kept hanging all over me.
As we walked back, both of us dragging our feet, I felt soo heavy. Maybe it was because I was tired, or maybe it was because I knew this whole situation was my fault.
But it's not like I could change my emotions! I had feelings toward Tohru, not toward Kagura. Sure, she was an okay person and all, not half as bad as Haru when he goes Black, but I never felt that way towards her. Always a friend and only a friend.
Although right then, as I walked through the rapidly cooling air of that black forest, I didn't feel like a friend, I didn't even feel like an aquiaintance. I felt like one of those people, a total stranger, that curses at someone behind their back for no good reason. I felt like someone who had gotten drunk and then accidentally killed someone with their car. I felt guilty. And there was nothing I could do to change that.
-Kyo Sohma
~~~
A/N: Do you think it's bad that I still don't know where this story is going?...*nods* That's right, I still have no clue. *looks at chapter number* That might be bad, huh?...I don't even know what TYPE of ending it's going to have...Um...Oops?...Oh well...Keep reading! Enjoy it! And Review!! Thanks! ;)