I don't own the Titans or Emma, but I do own Mr. and Mrs. Hoyt; Julius, Sheryl, and Ronnie Bertier; and Rhonda, Gerry, and Angel Campbell!
~Chapter 1: Emma~
My doctor said that this journal may be a major step in healing my heart. I lost my husband about 5 months ago. But let me start at the beginning. Here goes...
I was born May 12, 1954 to Mark and Janet Hoyt. I was named Emma. But as far as that goes, I don't need to say much. So let's skip ahead to 4th grade. That was the first time I noticed a young man named Gerry Bertier. Well, it wasn't the first time I noticed him. It was just the first time that I was sure that boys aren't so bad. And he noticed me, too. We became good friends that year. We thought we were dating even then. In 7th grade, Gerry was my date at my first dance. We dated our first 3 years of high school at Hammond, where Gerry was an all-American linebacker. Then came 1971. The year everything changed. And I mean EVERYTHING. Hammond, the white school, and George Washington, the black school, became one high school named TC Williams High. Not only did they integrate, but our head coach, Bill Yoast, lost his job to a black man named Herman Boone. He had to become assistant coach.
Gerry went to football camp that summer in Gettysburg. When he called me from camp, he told me that Boone had humiliated him and his best friend Ray Budds in front of the whole team. He told me he'd been stuck with a troublemaker from the 'Burg as a roommate.
But when he got back, he was singing a whole different tune. His black roommate seemed to have quickly replaced Ray. Julius Campbell. I wouldn't even shake his hand.
TC won every game that season, but I won a greater victory. I realized just how much Gerry wanted and needed me to be fair to his black teammates. I told him I'd give them a fair chance. I promised him I'd be at the state game. He went for a ride through town in his Camaro and ran a stop sign. A truck T-boned him. My momma told me when I got home. Gerry's friend, Ronnie "Sunshine" Bass, drove me to the hospital. We were some of the first ones there. The coaches were there, and of course, Gerry's mother, Jean Bertier, was as well. Coach Yoast sat beside me, and Boone took Sunshine to the side. Coach put his arm around me in a fatherly manner. "Is he OK, Caoch?" I asked, although I knew from his solemn face, and Mrs. Bertier's tears that he wasn't.
"No, Emma, he's not." I looked at him, searching for answers. "Gerry's paralyzed from the waist down. He'll never walk again."
"No," I gasped. "No!" I just broke down. I cried my eyes out. Coach Yoast sat with Mrs. Bertier again, and Sunshine sat down fighting tears. Then, Julius arrived from the 'Burg. I had never seen a man cry like Julius did that night. Mrs. Bertier took Julius's hands and told him that Gerry wanted to see him. I couldn't help watching them. I think it was then that I truely saw Julius Campbell's heart. That he was as much a man as Gerry or Sunshine or Alan.
The next day, the whole team gathered in Gerry's room. They talked about the game, and Gerry told Sheryl, Coach Yoast's daughter, to be his eyes on the field. She promised. All the guys left. Then Coach and Sheryl. But I stayed awhile. I sat beside him on the bed and held his hand. "Emma," he whispered, "If you wanna break up with me, I'll understand."
He looked up at me, his brownish-blue eyes hovering between sadness and another emotion I'd never seen before. I leaned over and kissed him. "No! I don't want ot break up with you. I love you."
He smiled, "Good, 'cause I don't want to break up with you either."
I cried a little, but Gerry told me not to. I couldn't help it. I kept thinking of the "never agains." Like never again would his 6'4" frame hover over me. Or never again would I see him play football.
His hand on my arm reassured me a little. I didn't know why I was crying when he was so strong. He should've been the one crying, hating, placing blame. But he was already planning wheelchair Olympics. That was just Gerry. He never let anything take him down.
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The big game. TC was playing Marshall for the state title. And I was there. I'd promised Gerry I'd be there. And even though he wasn't, I was. The team came on the field in true Titan form, singing and dancing. I ran out onto the sidelines when the offense had taken the field to get ready for the kickoff. I ran down to Julius and called his name. He turned around, and I said, "I'm Emma Hoyt."
He looked annoyed. "Oh, so I guess we've never met."
I stuck out my hand, and he seemed to understand. He took it and gave it a firm shake. "Now we've met," I said.
He smiled and said, "Yeah, nice to meet you." I wished him luck and went back to my seat.
I couldn't help wishing that I was with Gerry as the Titans went down, then came back with Big Julius and Petey Jones as 2 of the linebackers and Sunshine blocking for runningback Jerry Harris, or Rev. I cried as the Titas won the state championship. Everyone was running onto the field to celebrate, but Mrs. Bertier and I went to the hospital to share the joy with Gerry. Riding in her car, I saw a strength in Mrs. Bertier I'd never seen before. And I also felt a connection with her. The most important man in both our lives was lying in a hospital bed while his team celebrated their championship.
When we went into Gerry's room, his voice was high with excitement. "Did you see it, Ma? Did you? We did it!"
"I saw it, Gerry. I saw it." She patted his arm.
Then he looked at me. "Emma," he said, his voice so soft that I barely believed it was him. I smiled. I loved him so much.
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Gerry was finally released from the hospital. I was with Coach and Sheryl when they went to bring him home.
We graduated later that year. Gerry was also awarded Defensive Player of the Year. He accepted it with a half smile and a short speech. He always swore he'd never make a long speech. He said he used to want ot hurt people severely for getting long-winded.
That night, we went down to the lake together. Gerry rolled his wheelchair up behind me and pulled me onto his lap. "Gerry, you scared the crap outta me!" I yelped. He just laughed.
I slapped his arm playfully, then leaned back against his chest and looked up at him. He leaned down and kissed me. Then he took a box out of his pocket and opened it. I gasped when I saw a small diamond ring and Gerry leaned forward to whisper in my ear, "Emma, will you marry me?"
I put my arms around his neck and kissed him. "Does that mean yes?" he asked. I smiled and nodded.
The ring fit perfectly. Gerry and I were only 18, but we knew we were ready. Gerry said that ever since the accident, he'd had a new understanding of how short life really is.
We were married January 7, 1973. All of the Titans were there, and of coursem Julius was Gerry's best man. We made our vows, then Gerry pulled me into his lap and kissed me. We rolled down the aisle in his wheelchair.
A few months later, I found out I was pregnant. Gerry was thrilled. I knew he'd be a great Daddy. Our son was born on December 21, 1973. He was named Julius Campbell Bertier. The long hours of labor were all worth the smile on Gerry's face.
That same year he won the shot put in the wheelchair Olympics.
Or next child was a daughter named Sheryl Jean Bertier. Sheryl for Little Coach and Jean for Gerry's momma.
Gerry started teaching little Julius football when he was only 4. In true Titan (and Bertier) form, Julius said he wanted to be a linebacker. Just like Daddy.
We had one more baby, a boy we named Ronnie Jones Bertier. Ronnie for Sunshine and Jones for Petey Jones, a runningback and linebacker.
Julius was 6, Sheryl 4, and Ronnie 2 when we moved to the 'Burg. We lived next door to Big Ju, his wife Rhonda, and their two kids, Ronnie and Angel. Gerry and Big Ju couldn't have been happier. Rhonda and I became fast friends, and our kids got to be best friends, too.
I overheard Gerry talking to Big Ju one night that summer. "This is the way it was meant to be, Campbell."
"Yep," he replied. "Brothers stickin' together."
Gerry laughed. "Who'da ever thought at our old schools that not only would Gerry Bertier and Julius Campbell be best friends, but it'd go on to the next generation. Gerry Campbell and Julius Bertier."
Gerry was right. Things weren't perfect, but they were good. I'd never imagined being best friends with a black woman or living in the 'Burg.
Big Ju and Gerry made football players out of our kids. Gerry was a heck of a coach. Even from the wheelchair. Even the girls learned the game. Angel played center and Sheryl was the best QB in the 'Burg. They picked teams every Saturday and played football in the 'Burg. Those kids played just as hard as any other team. They were little Titans. And they loved it.
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It was almost 9pm one night 5 months ago, when I heard a knock at the door. I wondered why Gerry or Big Ju would have to knock. They never forgot their keys. They had gone to pick up Julius at football practice for the new junior team. When I opened it and saw a police officer, I knew. He didn't have to tell me. My ears still ring when I let myself remember what he said. "Mrs. Bertier, your son Julius is in the hospital with multiple leg fractures. He was in an accident, but he's going to be all right."
I could barely make a sound, but I managed to croak, "Gerry?"
"He was killed on impact with a collision with a man driving under the influence. Do you need someone to take you to the hospital?"
I shook my head. "No. Rhonda..."
The officer nodded. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Bertier."
After he left, I realized he hadn't mentioned Big Ju. I called Rhonda, hoping that she could take me to the hospital. She said that she could and that if I needed a little time to explain to the kids, it was OK because Big Ju was with Julius in the hospital. I breathed a sigh of relief. Big Ju was OK. But as I hung up the phone, I knew it was time to face the hardest moment in my life. Telling my babies that their Daddy was gone. I woke them up and brought them to the living room. 7-year-old Sheryl sat at my side, and 5-year-old Ronnie on my lap. I asked them if they remembered the song that Rev liked to sing about soaring on wings like eagles, and they said that they did. So I told them that their Daddy was soaring. That he was gone to heaven, but that he could walk again, and that he was waiting for us. We all cried. Then Rhonda came and took us to the hospital. When we got there, Sheryl ran to Big Ju, who hugged her and told her he was sorry. Sheryl had always been her Daddy's girl, and she knew that Big Ju was the next best thing. Gerry's brother. Black or white, he was Gerry's brother.
Julius healed well enough to attend his father's funeral in a wheelchair. Gerry's mother held Big Ju's hand. The minister said a few words and Sheryl Yoast placed a rose on his coffin. All of the Titans gathered together to say goodbye. It occured to me that this was the first time the whole team had been together since Sunshine had moved to South Carolina.
I heard Big Ju's voice break the silence as he sang, "Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye."
The whole team joined in and sang again, "Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye."
They all walked past the coffin and said their last goodbyes to their friend.
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I still ache for him. The nights get so lonely and the days are so long. The kids miss their Daddy so much. Sheryl's taken to Big Ju. The boys look so much like Gerry that it hurts to see them smile. I sleep with my arms around Gerry's pillow. I can't make myself wash it. It smells like him.
I went through his stuff. I gave Big Ju a book that Gerry had written about how being a Titan changed him. I was hoping that maybe the other Titans can finish it and publish it, so our kids will know what happened in this small Virginia town in 1971. I plan to give Julius Gerry's Titan uniform and game ball. Sheryl will get his wheelchair Olympics uniform and his gold medal. Ronnie will have his Defensive Player of the Year trophy and his classring. But his letter jacket is mine. I'll never forget how it hung on his broad shoulders, making him look like the strongest of the Titans, even in his wheelchair.
And someday, I'll tell my kids who their Daddy was and what he was like, so they'll never forget the man who gave them life and more love than they'll ever know.
-Emma Hoyt Bertier
~Chapter 1: Emma~
My doctor said that this journal may be a major step in healing my heart. I lost my husband about 5 months ago. But let me start at the beginning. Here goes...
I was born May 12, 1954 to Mark and Janet Hoyt. I was named Emma. But as far as that goes, I don't need to say much. So let's skip ahead to 4th grade. That was the first time I noticed a young man named Gerry Bertier. Well, it wasn't the first time I noticed him. It was just the first time that I was sure that boys aren't so bad. And he noticed me, too. We became good friends that year. We thought we were dating even then. In 7th grade, Gerry was my date at my first dance. We dated our first 3 years of high school at Hammond, where Gerry was an all-American linebacker. Then came 1971. The year everything changed. And I mean EVERYTHING. Hammond, the white school, and George Washington, the black school, became one high school named TC Williams High. Not only did they integrate, but our head coach, Bill Yoast, lost his job to a black man named Herman Boone. He had to become assistant coach.
Gerry went to football camp that summer in Gettysburg. When he called me from camp, he told me that Boone had humiliated him and his best friend Ray Budds in front of the whole team. He told me he'd been stuck with a troublemaker from the 'Burg as a roommate.
But when he got back, he was singing a whole different tune. His black roommate seemed to have quickly replaced Ray. Julius Campbell. I wouldn't even shake his hand.
TC won every game that season, but I won a greater victory. I realized just how much Gerry wanted and needed me to be fair to his black teammates. I told him I'd give them a fair chance. I promised him I'd be at the state game. He went for a ride through town in his Camaro and ran a stop sign. A truck T-boned him. My momma told me when I got home. Gerry's friend, Ronnie "Sunshine" Bass, drove me to the hospital. We were some of the first ones there. The coaches were there, and of course, Gerry's mother, Jean Bertier, was as well. Coach Yoast sat beside me, and Boone took Sunshine to the side. Coach put his arm around me in a fatherly manner. "Is he OK, Caoch?" I asked, although I knew from his solemn face, and Mrs. Bertier's tears that he wasn't.
"No, Emma, he's not." I looked at him, searching for answers. "Gerry's paralyzed from the waist down. He'll never walk again."
"No," I gasped. "No!" I just broke down. I cried my eyes out. Coach Yoast sat with Mrs. Bertier again, and Sunshine sat down fighting tears. Then, Julius arrived from the 'Burg. I had never seen a man cry like Julius did that night. Mrs. Bertier took Julius's hands and told him that Gerry wanted to see him. I couldn't help watching them. I think it was then that I truely saw Julius Campbell's heart. That he was as much a man as Gerry or Sunshine or Alan.
The next day, the whole team gathered in Gerry's room. They talked about the game, and Gerry told Sheryl, Coach Yoast's daughter, to be his eyes on the field. She promised. All the guys left. Then Coach and Sheryl. But I stayed awhile. I sat beside him on the bed and held his hand. "Emma," he whispered, "If you wanna break up with me, I'll understand."
He looked up at me, his brownish-blue eyes hovering between sadness and another emotion I'd never seen before. I leaned over and kissed him. "No! I don't want ot break up with you. I love you."
He smiled, "Good, 'cause I don't want to break up with you either."
I cried a little, but Gerry told me not to. I couldn't help it. I kept thinking of the "never agains." Like never again would his 6'4" frame hover over me. Or never again would I see him play football.
His hand on my arm reassured me a little. I didn't know why I was crying when he was so strong. He should've been the one crying, hating, placing blame. But he was already planning wheelchair Olympics. That was just Gerry. He never let anything take him down.
******************************************************************************************
The big game. TC was playing Marshall for the state title. And I was there. I'd promised Gerry I'd be there. And even though he wasn't, I was. The team came on the field in true Titan form, singing and dancing. I ran out onto the sidelines when the offense had taken the field to get ready for the kickoff. I ran down to Julius and called his name. He turned around, and I said, "I'm Emma Hoyt."
He looked annoyed. "Oh, so I guess we've never met."
I stuck out my hand, and he seemed to understand. He took it and gave it a firm shake. "Now we've met," I said.
He smiled and said, "Yeah, nice to meet you." I wished him luck and went back to my seat.
I couldn't help wishing that I was with Gerry as the Titans went down, then came back with Big Julius and Petey Jones as 2 of the linebackers and Sunshine blocking for runningback Jerry Harris, or Rev. I cried as the Titas won the state championship. Everyone was running onto the field to celebrate, but Mrs. Bertier and I went to the hospital to share the joy with Gerry. Riding in her car, I saw a strength in Mrs. Bertier I'd never seen before. And I also felt a connection with her. The most important man in both our lives was lying in a hospital bed while his team celebrated their championship.
When we went into Gerry's room, his voice was high with excitement. "Did you see it, Ma? Did you? We did it!"
"I saw it, Gerry. I saw it." She patted his arm.
Then he looked at me. "Emma," he said, his voice so soft that I barely believed it was him. I smiled. I loved him so much.
******************************************************************************************
Gerry was finally released from the hospital. I was with Coach and Sheryl when they went to bring him home.
We graduated later that year. Gerry was also awarded Defensive Player of the Year. He accepted it with a half smile and a short speech. He always swore he'd never make a long speech. He said he used to want ot hurt people severely for getting long-winded.
That night, we went down to the lake together. Gerry rolled his wheelchair up behind me and pulled me onto his lap. "Gerry, you scared the crap outta me!" I yelped. He just laughed.
I slapped his arm playfully, then leaned back against his chest and looked up at him. He leaned down and kissed me. Then he took a box out of his pocket and opened it. I gasped when I saw a small diamond ring and Gerry leaned forward to whisper in my ear, "Emma, will you marry me?"
I put my arms around his neck and kissed him. "Does that mean yes?" he asked. I smiled and nodded.
The ring fit perfectly. Gerry and I were only 18, but we knew we were ready. Gerry said that ever since the accident, he'd had a new understanding of how short life really is.
We were married January 7, 1973. All of the Titans were there, and of coursem Julius was Gerry's best man. We made our vows, then Gerry pulled me into his lap and kissed me. We rolled down the aisle in his wheelchair.
A few months later, I found out I was pregnant. Gerry was thrilled. I knew he'd be a great Daddy. Our son was born on December 21, 1973. He was named Julius Campbell Bertier. The long hours of labor were all worth the smile on Gerry's face.
That same year he won the shot put in the wheelchair Olympics.
Or next child was a daughter named Sheryl Jean Bertier. Sheryl for Little Coach and Jean for Gerry's momma.
Gerry started teaching little Julius football when he was only 4. In true Titan (and Bertier) form, Julius said he wanted to be a linebacker. Just like Daddy.
We had one more baby, a boy we named Ronnie Jones Bertier. Ronnie for Sunshine and Jones for Petey Jones, a runningback and linebacker.
Julius was 6, Sheryl 4, and Ronnie 2 when we moved to the 'Burg. We lived next door to Big Ju, his wife Rhonda, and their two kids, Ronnie and Angel. Gerry and Big Ju couldn't have been happier. Rhonda and I became fast friends, and our kids got to be best friends, too.
I overheard Gerry talking to Big Ju one night that summer. "This is the way it was meant to be, Campbell."
"Yep," he replied. "Brothers stickin' together."
Gerry laughed. "Who'da ever thought at our old schools that not only would Gerry Bertier and Julius Campbell be best friends, but it'd go on to the next generation. Gerry Campbell and Julius Bertier."
Gerry was right. Things weren't perfect, but they were good. I'd never imagined being best friends with a black woman or living in the 'Burg.
Big Ju and Gerry made football players out of our kids. Gerry was a heck of a coach. Even from the wheelchair. Even the girls learned the game. Angel played center and Sheryl was the best QB in the 'Burg. They picked teams every Saturday and played football in the 'Burg. Those kids played just as hard as any other team. They were little Titans. And they loved it.
******************************************************************************************
It was almost 9pm one night 5 months ago, when I heard a knock at the door. I wondered why Gerry or Big Ju would have to knock. They never forgot their keys. They had gone to pick up Julius at football practice for the new junior team. When I opened it and saw a police officer, I knew. He didn't have to tell me. My ears still ring when I let myself remember what he said. "Mrs. Bertier, your son Julius is in the hospital with multiple leg fractures. He was in an accident, but he's going to be all right."
I could barely make a sound, but I managed to croak, "Gerry?"
"He was killed on impact with a collision with a man driving under the influence. Do you need someone to take you to the hospital?"
I shook my head. "No. Rhonda..."
The officer nodded. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Bertier."
After he left, I realized he hadn't mentioned Big Ju. I called Rhonda, hoping that she could take me to the hospital. She said that she could and that if I needed a little time to explain to the kids, it was OK because Big Ju was with Julius in the hospital. I breathed a sigh of relief. Big Ju was OK. But as I hung up the phone, I knew it was time to face the hardest moment in my life. Telling my babies that their Daddy was gone. I woke them up and brought them to the living room. 7-year-old Sheryl sat at my side, and 5-year-old Ronnie on my lap. I asked them if they remembered the song that Rev liked to sing about soaring on wings like eagles, and they said that they did. So I told them that their Daddy was soaring. That he was gone to heaven, but that he could walk again, and that he was waiting for us. We all cried. Then Rhonda came and took us to the hospital. When we got there, Sheryl ran to Big Ju, who hugged her and told her he was sorry. Sheryl had always been her Daddy's girl, and she knew that Big Ju was the next best thing. Gerry's brother. Black or white, he was Gerry's brother.
Julius healed well enough to attend his father's funeral in a wheelchair. Gerry's mother held Big Ju's hand. The minister said a few words and Sheryl Yoast placed a rose on his coffin. All of the Titans gathered together to say goodbye. It occured to me that this was the first time the whole team had been together since Sunshine had moved to South Carolina.
I heard Big Ju's voice break the silence as he sang, "Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye."
The whole team joined in and sang again, "Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye."
They all walked past the coffin and said their last goodbyes to their friend.
******************************************************************************************
I still ache for him. The nights get so lonely and the days are so long. The kids miss their Daddy so much. Sheryl's taken to Big Ju. The boys look so much like Gerry that it hurts to see them smile. I sleep with my arms around Gerry's pillow. I can't make myself wash it. It smells like him.
I went through his stuff. I gave Big Ju a book that Gerry had written about how being a Titan changed him. I was hoping that maybe the other Titans can finish it and publish it, so our kids will know what happened in this small Virginia town in 1971. I plan to give Julius Gerry's Titan uniform and game ball. Sheryl will get his wheelchair Olympics uniform and his gold medal. Ronnie will have his Defensive Player of the Year trophy and his classring. But his letter jacket is mine. I'll never forget how it hung on his broad shoulders, making him look like the strongest of the Titans, even in his wheelchair.
And someday, I'll tell my kids who their Daddy was and what he was like, so they'll never forget the man who gave them life and more love than they'll ever know.
-Emma Hoyt Bertier