Kokoro no Hitan
When I reached Kyo's residence, I knocked and waited for a reply.
Kyo ended up being the one who opened the door, a shocked look on his face.
"Hatsuharu...What are you doing here?"
"BAKA NEKO!" I yelled, and punched him as hard as I could in the face.
"What the hell was that for?!" Kyo yelled back when he had recovered.
I heard the telephone ring, and then Shigure's voice as he picked it up.
"Hello?..Ah, Hatori! Why do...Oh...I would've never thought...Okay...Thank you. Bye." His footsteps got louder after he hung up the phone, so I knew he was approaching us. "Yuki, listen..." There was a very sad look on his face. And that was when he noticed me, and the fire that seemed to burn in my eyes.
"Oh...Haru...Did you come to bring us the news, then?"
Kyo looked surprised and confused. "What news?"
Shigure looked at me. "You didn't tell him yet?" Then he looked at Kyo. "Kyo..It's Kagura...She's dead."
Kyo's face paled as his eye's widened and his pupils shrank. "Uso..."
"Iee, I'm afraid it's the truth." Shigure was looking down now. "That was Hatori just now. That's why he called, to tell me,...us...what happened."
Then there were more footsteps. "Shigure, who was that on the phone?" It was Yuki.
"It was Hatori. Kagura's dead."
Yuki's response was similar to Kyo's. "Kagura's...dead?...You must be joking."
Shigure covered his face with one hand. "I'm afraid not. Her funeral is going to be later this afternoon."
"Sou desu. And it's all this baka neko's fault." All heads turned to look at me. Kyo's face was still red where I hit him. "Kono baka neko."
"You didn't have to punch me." Kyo said in a soft voice, almost no anger in it at all.
"Is that so? It's all your fault! She loved you and died because you rejected her!"
"It's not my fault I didn't feel the same way!! How could I?! She treated me like her own personal punching bag!! It's not my fault I-!" He stopped and dropped his head down. "It's not my fault. I can't control my emotions, who I like and who I don't. I couldn't force my self to like her." He was talking much softer than before. "It's not my fault." He then looked at me, tears in his eyes, and yelled, "It's not my fault."
"Yes. It is. And I'll make sure you pay for what you did. You're as bad as a murder, Kyo. You deserve to be in Hell, so that's what your life will be like from now on. I'll make sure of it."
"And just what gives you the right to do that?!" he yelled at me.
"Because I loved her." They all looked at me, shocked, as I turned and walked away. I could feel their eyes on me until they couldn't see me anymore. And trust me, Kyo, your life will be...a living Hell.
-Hatsuharu Sohma
~~~
I watched wide eyed as Hatsuharu walked away...Too calmly, I might add.
When he was no longer in sight, it was then that Tohru walked into the room.
"Ano...By the way, lunch is ready." She must have noticed the solemn looks on all our faces, because her cheerful expression quickly changed to that of concern. "Ano...Daijoubu?"
Shigure covered his face with his hand again and sighed, his eyes closed. "It's Kagura. She's dead."
A look of shock, then of intense greif came over her face. Just looking at her made me want to cry, as I could tell she would be shortly.
She looked down at the floor, her hair shielding her eyes from my sight. "Hontou ni?"
Shigure nodded his head. Tohru trembled slightly. "Hontou desu....When...When is her funeral...going..to be?"
"This afternoon. We're all invited. Tohru, you too can come along," said Shigure.
Tohru nodded her head, still looking down. "Hai, I at least owe Kagura-san that much..."
She turned around to head back into the kitchen. "Ano...should I perhaps wrap the lunch up and put it in the fridge to eat later?"
Shigure nodded. "Yes, that sounds like a good idea. I don't think any of us are hungry right now."
I looked straight down. So did Yuki.
I thought I had felt guilty while in the forest looking for her. My guilt now was of no comparison. I felt like a cold blooded murderer. Like a heartless bastard. I felt like I didn't deserve to go on living. Walking took effort, my guilt was laid so heavily on my heart.
Her death was my fault. Maybe I should have given her a chance? I thought, as I walked up the stairs to my room. Maybe I should have looked harder at that side of her that loved me with all of her heart. I sighed as I dropped to the floor and buried my face in my hands. Maybe I should have taken her more seriously. There were soo many 'maybe's, so many things I should have done, and I didn't, so many mistakes that I had made. Now she was gone, and it was all my fault.
Before I knew it, I was crying, my hands were saturated with my tears. I couldn't remember the last time I had cried so much.
-Kyo Sohma
~~~
When I reached Kyo's residence, I knocked and waited for a reply.
Kyo ended up being the one who opened the door, a shocked look on his face.
"Hatsuharu...What are you doing here?"
"BAKA NEKO!" I yelled, and punched him as hard as I could in the face.
"What the hell was that for?!" Kyo yelled back when he had recovered.
I heard the telephone ring, and then Shigure's voice as he picked it up.
"Hello?..Ah, Hatori! Why do...Oh...I would've never thought...Okay...Thank you. Bye." His footsteps got louder after he hung up the phone, so I knew he was approaching us. "Yuki, listen..." There was a very sad look on his face. And that was when he noticed me, and the fire that seemed to burn in my eyes.
"Oh...Haru...Did you come to bring us the news, then?"
Kyo looked surprised and confused. "What news?"
Shigure looked at me. "You didn't tell him yet?" Then he looked at Kyo. "Kyo..It's Kagura...She's dead."
Kyo's face paled as his eye's widened and his pupils shrank. "Uso..."
"Iee, I'm afraid it's the truth." Shigure was looking down now. "That was Hatori just now. That's why he called, to tell me,...us...what happened."
Then there were more footsteps. "Shigure, who was that on the phone?" It was Yuki.
"It was Hatori. Kagura's dead."
Yuki's response was similar to Kyo's. "Kagura's...dead?...You must be joking."
Shigure covered his face with one hand. "I'm afraid not. Her funeral is going to be later this afternoon."
"Sou desu. And it's all this baka neko's fault." All heads turned to look at me. Kyo's face was still red where I hit him. "Kono baka neko."
"You didn't have to punch me." Kyo said in a soft voice, almost no anger in it at all.
"Is that so? It's all your fault! She loved you and died because you rejected her!"
"It's not my fault I didn't feel the same way!! How could I?! She treated me like her own personal punching bag!! It's not my fault I-!" He stopped and dropped his head down. "It's not my fault. I can't control my emotions, who I like and who I don't. I couldn't force my self to like her." He was talking much softer than before. "It's not my fault." He then looked at me, tears in his eyes, and yelled, "It's not my fault."
"Yes. It is. And I'll make sure you pay for what you did. You're as bad as a murder, Kyo. You deserve to be in Hell, so that's what your life will be like from now on. I'll make sure of it."
"And just what gives you the right to do that?!" he yelled at me.
"Because I loved her." They all looked at me, shocked, as I turned and walked away. I could feel their eyes on me until they couldn't see me anymore. And trust me, Kyo, your life will be...a living Hell.
-Hatsuharu Sohma
~~~
I watched wide eyed as Hatsuharu walked away...Too calmly, I might add.
When he was no longer in sight, it was then that Tohru walked into the room.
"Ano...By the way, lunch is ready." She must have noticed the solemn looks on all our faces, because her cheerful expression quickly changed to that of concern. "Ano...Daijoubu?"
Shigure covered his face with his hand again and sighed, his eyes closed. "It's Kagura. She's dead."
A look of shock, then of intense greif came over her face. Just looking at her made me want to cry, as I could tell she would be shortly.
She looked down at the floor, her hair shielding her eyes from my sight. "Hontou ni?"
Shigure nodded his head. Tohru trembled slightly. "Hontou desu....When...When is her funeral...going..to be?"
"This afternoon. We're all invited. Tohru, you too can come along," said Shigure.
Tohru nodded her head, still looking down. "Hai, I at least owe Kagura-san that much..."
She turned around to head back into the kitchen. "Ano...should I perhaps wrap the lunch up and put it in the fridge to eat later?"
Shigure nodded. "Yes, that sounds like a good idea. I don't think any of us are hungry right now."
I looked straight down. So did Yuki.
I thought I had felt guilty while in the forest looking for her. My guilt now was of no comparison. I felt like a cold blooded murderer. Like a heartless bastard. I felt like I didn't deserve to go on living. Walking took effort, my guilt was laid so heavily on my heart.
Her death was my fault. Maybe I should have given her a chance? I thought, as I walked up the stairs to my room. Maybe I should have looked harder at that side of her that loved me with all of her heart. I sighed as I dropped to the floor and buried my face in my hands. Maybe I should have taken her more seriously. There were soo many 'maybe's, so many things I should have done, and I didn't, so many mistakes that I had made. Now she was gone, and it was all my fault.
Before I knew it, I was crying, my hands were saturated with my tears. I couldn't remember the last time I had cried so much.
-Kyo Sohma
~~~