I hate fate.
Everything eventually comes down to fate. It was fated, what happened on Miltia. It was fated for me to become a part of the crew of the Elsa. It was fated for Shion to make KOS-MOS, and it was fated for them to come in contact with the Gnosis, and end up here.
Fate is such an ugly word.
I've hated it for a long time, hated it more than I've ever hated anything. Fate makes us think we have control, then rips that control away in a brutal confrontation that can leave even the most hardened men mere shells of their former selves.
But sometimes... just sometimes... we can change fate. We can grab ahold of our own destinies, change what is to come.
Fate still has control though, for only fate can know the ultimate end of what our choices bring about. I'll just have to hope that this ending is better than the others. At least, by this fate, I'll be with...
...her...
Tony's looking at me funny now. I must have been staring off in to space too long. I give him my best 'there's nothing wrong here!' smile. He doesn't look convinced.
"Somethin' wrong, man? You look a little... whacked out there. Get ahold of the captain's leftover chili again?"
I laugh, because I can't help it. Tony, and Hammer, and even Captain Matthews all have the ability to make me laugh and smile, for real. A rare thing, now that the time is drawing closer for it to begin.
"No. Just... thinking." He gives me a look, and I sigh and elaborate a little. "About fate."
He shrugs, turning his attention back to the helm. "Eh. Fate's a bitch. Least ways, that's how I've come to see it."
I go back to my work, but my mind is still on fate. Tony's words struck something in me, though. Fate's a bitch.
Yeah.
I hate fate.