Summary: (AU) Kagome hates Kikyo. Kikyo hates Kagome. Both love Inuyasha. And Inuyasha is just in love with the strange head executive. A fiction proving that sometimes it takes more than guts to win someone- it takes a team. And maybe several botched up plans.
A/N: Made it to the first chapter in a span of... =O 14 hours?!?! ^.^; Well, at least my inspiration is going somewhere....
Disclaimer: Nope. Check back later. I'll inform you of a change. *laughs*
Chapter 1: The Conflict-
As soon as she stepped through the elevator door and onto her floor, she inhaled deeply. The sound of quiet paper rustling... few, scattered workers working quietly at their desks on whatever needed to be done... the smell of permanent marker in the air....
This was shaping out to be a good day.
Kikyo allowed a tiny smile to grace her usually stoic features. If she ever had to choose her favorite part of the day, it would be right now, at 7 o'clock in the morning....
Well, just the quiet part of the day was the important thing. Even better, though, was the certain, little fact that she wouldn't be appearing for another hour or so, which gave a great delight to her poor, burdened heart. "And I can get some work done, too...."
The smile widened into a satisfied grin, and she bound forward eagerly towards her desk, her pumps sinking softly into blue, carpeted floor. Humming quietly, she kept her cheerful mood up, even when passing by the Devil's cubicle.
Of course, she hadn't expect the Devil to be there himself. Or really, the she-Devil.
Kikyo stopped mid-stride and turned her head to the right, surprise etched across her face. No, no, no... not now, God...! It was too early... it was too fast... she was having a whiplash!
She continued to stare at the back of Kagome's head for a moment longer before swallowing hard and opening her mouth. "What are you doing here?"
Her rumpled head perked up at the voice... before recognizing where it came from. "Oh... it's you," she replied airily before diverting her attention back to the screen.
Kagome: 1, Kikyo: 0.
Kikyo's gaze turned into a heated glare. Stupid girl... although she had to admit rather grudgingly that her ability to pay attention with the head turned away was pretty nifty. Well, as nifty as you can get with an airhead.
Good mood going... going... (Come back, endorphins!)... gone. A frown marred her face, and Kikyo stomped to her desk, now irritated. She forgot there was another somewhat less satisfying ability Kagome possessed: she could annoy the hell out of anyone. Kikyo sat down on the cushion and sighed once before taking out her signature red pen.
There goes another happy day.
-
Evil....
The nerve... the nerve of her. The evil, sadistic, grinning, sonofa-!
I will stop right there. I refuse to stoop down to her level, where the f-word (Rhymes with muck.) and the s-word (Rhymes with hit.) are common, everyday words. But just to let you know, the arrival of Kagome is an abomination.
Never a good thing.
Why does it sound like I'm ranting? Because I am ranting. And let me tell you what happened... if I can restrain myself from going into a fit of hysterics again.
OK. The scenario: me with my red pen. I was checking over the last of reports and quotas. This was a big deal for me because I pulled 30 late-nights for this stack. This was a huge part of the company's production, and they wanted it in pronto. Quick. I promised them I would finish by the end of the month, and I never break a promise.
Well, that is, unless you broke your end of the bargain.
Yeah, but anyways, here's how the stories went. It would take too long if I went by detail, so here's the bullet. Unless you want the variable version, which is all screwed up and littered with addition signs.
-9:03 A.M.~ Bathroom.
-9:20 A.M.~ Came Back.
-9:25 A.M.~ Looking for the graded stacks of reports.
-9:30 A.M.~ Found it in trashcan. Where the paper shredder was.
-9:30:01 A.M.~ A period of silence.
-10:05:35 A.M.~ Faxing room destroyed.
By the time I opened the fax door, quite a bit of a line was waiting there, needing a code of number here, faxing some documents there, and shredding some stuff. I smiled, apologized for the ten minute delay, and walked back to my desk. Someone needs to inveset $1500 for several new machines....
So I guess you could say that the score is pretty much tilted.
Kagome: 2, Me: 0.
I'm going to get that stupid blonde.
-
Kikyo sat down with a huff on her chair, a scowl evident on her otherwise clear face. She was horrible. Just plain, old horrible. It would be fine if she had trashed her work area. It would be fine if she tepeed the area. Heck, it would have been all right if she stole my favorite red pen! But to shred all those reports....
Her squishy cow, which was currently being gripped in her hand, mewed pathetically, its eyes popping. She shuddered once, trying to calm her breathing, before slowly releasing the poor animal.... and then hurled it against the wall.
30 late nights... she spent it all in vain, trying to grade each financial before passing it in, which was due some 15 days later. She wanted some rest... no, she needed some rest. And now, she had to pull 24/7 for the next two and a half weeks.
The thought did not appeal to her senses, and she suddenly felt a sickening lurch in her stomach. This would not bode well with her conscience, and she needed a cup of coffee. In modern Japan, not too many people drank tea once they were in the stock business or the likes. Instead, coffee was the preference. Just this once... something to quell the little, dancing butterflies who were wrestling inside her stomach.
Standing up, she smoothed back the wrinkles of her plaided skirt before walking towards the floor's cafeteria. Actually, it was something more of a snack bar. It was rather a small room with just a coffee machine to the side of a lonely table. That, and several styrofoam cups.
Kikyo would need something rather strong to keep her up for the next 15 days. Sighing, she fumbled for her cell phone in her hand and pressed number 3 on the speed dial.
"Hello? Yes... I want to reserve an appointment for a spa treatment two weeks from now...."
-
Well, what would you know. Fate is a very cruel thing. You know how you wish for something to happen, it just gives you the exact opposite. Like, like, how you wanted a pony for your eighth birthday party, but you got a dingy teddy bear instead? Or how you wanted that hot guy near your locker, but you got a nerdy chess player instead with acne the size of a golf ball?
Yeah. That kind of fate.
Well, Fate wasn't particularly leaning on my side today. Instead, it just leaned the other way, probably just to spite me. All I wanted was five minutes of peace and quiet with my black cup of coffee, trying to destress myself until tonight, so I wouldn't fall asleep smack dab in the middle of grading. All I wanted was five minutes. Five minutes of freakin' peace and quiet. I don't care if it was four minutes. Or three. Or two or one, for that mattered. I just wanted at least 20 seconds of solitude to mull over today's happenings.
Guess Fate thought, 'Woo. Look at the miserable one! Let's make her even more miserable!' and dumped all this across my lap. Hardy-har-har. What a great joke. It deserves a knee-slapper!
But you guessed it- Fate didn't give it to me. It gave me the opposite- loud and unbearing cruelty. It was Kagome, or more commonly known in my world, she-Devil. The spawn of evil and distress. Married to the scum of the scum (Although she wasn't really married.). Her back was turned to me as I entered, since she was too busy filling up her own cup.
I was determined to not talk to evil. It would only tempt me. The mighty Kikyo can restrain herself from starting any verbal spews. I am strong-willed. I am almighty. I am great. I am strong and proud and stubborn. I can hold out!
"Fancy meeting you here, Higurashi."
One word. Doh!
But even though I was highly displeased with my lack of restraint, it gave me great, sadistic pleasure to see her startled and jerk her hand. That, in turn, caused some of the coffee to slosh over the rim of cup and onto her skin, and she hissed with pain.
Sometimes, I wonder if I was dropped on the head from the lack of humor.... But still, it was funny, nonetheless.
Kagome: 2, Me: 1. All right! Just one more to even out today.
"Yeah. Wow. Who knew?" she replied sarcastically, sucking her skin. Actually, it came out like, "Bweah. Bwow. Foo nuu?"
"Hmm. I suppose you're surprised that I'm actually talking to you."
"I'm surprised you're talking, period." A tick started at my left eyebrow.
Kagome: 3, Me: 1. I've come to realize that when in doubt, use big words. No, I'm not kidding. If your verbally sparring with a reckless oppponent, the best way to deal with her mouth would be to use big terminology. That way, she would have to take time to try and digest the words. And that would make her look stupid. Yeah. Crafty, eh?
"Well, I suppose someone as belittling as you wouldn't realize the importance of such a high status as oneself. Namely, me. Ooh, I apologize for my extra corpulence of tremendous terminology. I'm positive your cerebrum can't handle the fact that I, a certified hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalian, am just spouting these bombastic words out in replacement of those tiny, tiny monosyllables you call words." And I smiled really pretty. Sugary, if you will.
Kagome blinked at me.
Kagome: 3, Me: 2.
"I may not have known all that you just said, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that you're making fun of me," she retorted after a moment. "You're so degrading, you know that?"
Hehe... this argument was waiting on open arms. I didn't take debate class for nothing. "Well, I wouldn't be degrading to just anybody. It takes someone with real talent to get under my skin. In other words, a 'special' person, if you know my drift."
I hoped I was pressing the right button.... "OK!" she replied hotly, her brown eyes searing into mine. "What the hell is your problem? I am so sick of all this bullshit coming out of your mouth!"
Oh yeah... let's update the score, referee! Then her words hit me. And after that, I saw nothing, heard nothing, and felt nothing from my brain. It was probably fried after that last comment.
Yeah. Can you say catfight?
-
"Excuse me?" she replied back with equal force as her opponent. "What is my problem? What is my problem? You're my problem!"
"Oh, like we both didn't know that," Kagome snapped. "Why are you always getting on my case?"
"I wouldn't be on your case if you hadn't been my evil incarnate of an abomination since Day 1, you lazy nincompoop!"
She opened her mouth to protest, but all that came out was an angry squeak. "Whoa, I didn't know you could be so smart, Kagome," Kikyo mocked. "Tell me- when did they release you from the laboratory?"
"Well, I'm not so prim I could choke on my ego!"
"Freak!"
"Asshole!"
"You are so infuriating!" Kikyo hollered.
Screamed: "You are the infuriating one!"
"I'm not the one who shredded my hard-worked editing in 20 minutes!!!"
"Are you saying I did it?!?!" Kagome demanded angrily.
"Yes!"
"I'm not the one who deleted my hard-worked financial report!!!"
"Ha! You did shred my stuff!"
"Ha! You did delete my stuff!"
At this point, both girls have lost all shred of modesty. Kikyo hiked her skirt up enough to show her mid-thigh and pointed to the bandage. "I'm not the one who spilled hot coffee all over my lap and didn't even give me a napkin!!!"
Kagome puffed up angrily and stuck out the blistered skin. "Well, you scared me and made me burn my skin! So ha! Did you give me a napkin? I don't think so, Mrs. Righteous!"
"At least I didn't fake any apologies!"
"At least I didn't lose my sanity!"
"Oh, I already lost my sanity when you moved next door to me!!!" She promptly ducked as several containers of sweeteners came her way. "Where'd you learn how to aim, you blind bat?" And she threw some sweeteners from the other side.
"God, you are the most fucked up person I've ever had the privilege to meet!!!"
"And you are the most retarded person I've ever had the privilege to meet!"
Somewhere along the way, Kikyo and Kagome had managed to rotate so that Kagome's back was to the open door leading to the cubicles and Kikyo's was to the coffee pot. Feeling her hands around for something to chuck (Since it really does feel good to release tension.), her hands found the handle of the coffee pot. Without thinking, she threw the entire content at the girl's head. Of course, Kagome ducked....
And the pot ended up smashing rather clumsily on top of Boss's head.
-
Oh, dear Lord. Someone help me. I am telling you right now, my face turned the sickest shade of white (Which is quite an amazing feat, since white looks good on everybody.) as the (hot) pot of coffee collided against Boss's head. Fortunately, she-Devil had the decency to look/act uncomfortable, too.
Both of us just stood there, looking at Boss. And it was then I realized how everyone on the floor was staring at us. Or rather, had been staring at us. Egads, they all witnessed my first breakdown.
"Both of you...." I heard the quiet voice and looked back at Boss. She was glaring venomously underneath the hot liquid, although her eyes were somewhat dilating. "I want you in my office. Now."
And she proceeded to collapse onto the floor.
Oh yeah. End catfight. Start punishment.
Ooh, this day really, really did not turn out well.
-End Chapter 1