WES: So what's Buffy been fighting lately? Besides her friends.
WILLOW: We've had our hands full the last few months with the First Evil.
ANGEL: That thing which makes you hallucinate and tries to convince you to do bad stuff? I remember having to fight that. For two days. What's the holdup?
WILLOW: This time it's come to stay. And it's messing with everybody. We're all being manipulated. Except for you, Xander. For some reason it hasn't bothered with you. Even though you've spent months working right on top of the Hellmouth. And even though you've been known to do a demon's bidding. That is odd. [looks at Xander suspiciously]
CORDY: Maybe he's not important or powerful enough for this evil thingy to bother with.
XANDER: When have I been known to do a demon's bidding? Oh. Right. I forgot about that.
CORDY: Forgot about what?
WILLOW: Dracula's little visit.
GUNN: You saying Dracula's real?
ANGEL: Real pathetic if you ask me.
CORDY: When did he come to Sunnyhell?
WILLOW: About two-and-a-half years ago.
FRED: And he turned Xander into his bitch?
XANDER: Whoa. It was nothing like that.
ANGEL: He just turns the weak-minded against their friends with false promises of immortality.
XANDER: Are you saying Master – I mean Dracula – lied to me!
ANGEL: Dracula is so overrated. He's lived for five centuries in the heart of Gypsy country, and not once have they felt the need to curse him. Obviously he's not very good at being evil and dangerous.
WILLOW: Do I sense some jealousy?
ANGEL: Jealous? Of Vladi? Please! He was jealous of me. Dracula always had a thing for Darla. She told me how in the 17th century he was always coming on to her.
CONNOR: This Dracula vampire knew mother?
ANGEL: No son. Your mother rejected Dracula. She had standards.
XANDER: There's a father-son exchange I never thought I'd hear.
ANGEL: The First Evil only makes you fight your own fears. You guys fought anything tangible lately? Cause it sounds to me like the Hellmouth just isn't quite the menace it used to be.
XANDER: There was the uber-vamp. That was pretty huge.
LORNE: And by uber-vamp, you don't just mean a big undead German guy, right?
XANDER: It had another name.
WILLOW: Turakhan. I think that's what Giles called it.
ANGEL: Turakhan's aren't huge. They aren't even that tough. The Master used to keep one as a pet. Had him on a leash and everything. They're the vampires real vampires make fun of.
XANDER: You must be thinking of something else. Cause this thing could have kicked your ass all over town.
ANGEL: Thin, very pale, with long claws, looks like Nosferatu? Who by the way is not real.
WILLOW: That sounds like our uber-vamp. But this thing was faster and stronger than any vampire Buffy had ever seen.
ANGEL: It probably was. Turakhan's are to vampires what Neanderthals are to modern humans.
WILLOW: That's EXACTLY what Giles said!
ANGEL: And we know what happened to the Neanderthals. They went extinct.
WILLOW: That's true.
ANGEL: The Turakhan is stronger than any individual vampire, stronger than any individual Slayer. But it's stupid. And it can't deal with multiple attackers. Four ordinary humans, working together, could kill one. Two humans who are good fighters, Wes and Gunn for instance, could take a Turakhan down without much trouble. One-on-one they'd be tough even for a Slayer to kill. But who would be stupid enough to go about it that way?
CORDY: Let me guess. Buffy?
XANDER: It's not like she had a choice.
WILLOW: That's true. We were all scared and running and hiding.
GUNN: That's weak.
CONNOR: You call yourselves demon fighters?
WILLOW: And you guys didn't run away from the Beast?
ANGEL: A Turakhan is nothing compared to the Beast. Did Buffy know she was supposed to stake it in the stomach, because a Turakhan's heart is lower down in the chest. Or did she stake it in the upper chest, notice the thing didn't die, and decide it was stake-proof?
WILLOW: How do you know all this stuff? Giles found hardly any written record of the creature.
ANGEL: That's because they were killed off by stone age humans. By the time writing was developed, they were long gone. I only know this stuff cause I saw one and knew certain very old demons. So you guys really blew that one. Talk about turning a mountain into a molehill. How badly did it pound Buffy?
XANDER: Not too badly.
WILLOW: It took a few minutes, but she got the upper hand.
LORNE: You don't have to be an empath to know those two are lying.
FRED: You told me she looked like a walking bruise for two days. That you guys had never felt so demoralized and helpless.
WILLOW: First off, I only told you those things because you told be how badly the Beast had pounded all of you.
ANGEL: Once again, no comparison! If the Beast is a tank, a Turakhan is a medieval knight. But that is so like Buffy. She always has to do things the painful, most difficult, most agonizing way possible. Maybe that's what she sees in Spike. He's a first-class masochist. She's always wanted someone who'd be happy to share her pain.
WES: Angelus sadist. Spike masochist. Like yin and yang.
WILLOW: Buffy's not like that at all!
ANGEL: Have you dated her?
FRED: That was a rhetorical question, I hope.
ANGEL: Buffy doesn't want to be happy because she knows sooner or later some disaster beyond her control is going to make her miserable again. She doesn't need a guy who can make her happy. She needs a guy to share the burden, to carry some of her pain. Otherwise, it crushes her.
FRED: Buffy can't be happy, but neither can you. Is that why you loved her so much?
ANGEL: We're different. Buffy doesn't want to be happy. Just because I can't be happy doesn't mean I don't want to be happy, doesn't mean I don't dream of the day when I can find contentment.
LORNE: She sees the glass half-empty. You see the glass half-full. Except someone always comes along to break your glass and shove the jagged end through you chest.
CORDY: Holtz takes your son.
FRED: Your son imprisons you in the ocean.
WILLOW: Your son sleeps with Cordelia.
LORNE: Anyone notice the common thread?
One chapter left to go. In the last chapter, Xander and Willow find their path out of LA blocked by the Beast.