Title/Author: Finding Carter / by Gimli2003
Season/Spoilers: Any season where Sam is a major and Daniel's there / none at all
Rating/Content : PG / Some slight language
Category: Humor
Summary: How to find your 2IC offworld
Author's Note: I'm back! Yes I know, that line is SOOO old and overused. This is
just stupid fun stuff. Anyhoo, r/r, but most importantly, ENJOY!
Finding Carter
By Gimli2003
Jack: "I'm bored. Yep, really bored. Oh so very bored. Bored bored bored. Yep, I haven't
been this bored since the last time we were on a boring alien planet with nothing on it
but miles and miles of boring desert in every single boring direction of the boring
compass and-"
Daniel: "Jack, please shut up."
Jack: "But I'm BORED! B-O-A-R-E-D, BORED!"
Daniel: "I don't care, just SHUT UP!"
Jack: "Shutting up would be something I might do if I had something to do after I did that,
but since I don't, I won't."
Daniel: "Huh?"
Jack: "What?"
Daniel: "You won't what?"
Jack: "What do you mean, 'I won't what?'"
Daniel: "That's what I want to know."
Jack: "Well don't we all, Danny-boy. Except me, of course, because-"
Daniel: "Yes, yes, you're bored, I GET IT!!!"
Jack: "No, actually I was going to say we're heading out."
Daniel: "No you weren't."
Jack: "...You're right I wasn't. But we are."
Daniel: "We are what?"
Jack: "Heading out."
Daniel: "When?"
Jack: "How about, oh I don't know, NOW?!"
Daniel: "Oh…okay."
Jack: "Well that's too bad Daniel because-wait, what?"
Teal'c: "I believe Daniel Jackson is ready to depart as well, O'Neill."
Jack: "Oh...well, good. It's about time you stopped playing with that rock anyway."
Daniel: "Actually it's a gravestone Jack, with a wonderful eulogy carved into it in a fascinating
combination of Japanese and Cyrillic characters, with the syntax of ancient-"
Jack: "Good for whoever died and went into the ground under it, let's go!"
Teal'c: "O'Neill."
Jack: "Yeah, T?"
Teal'c: "We seem to be missing Major Carter."
Jack: "What?" *Looks around* "...OHFERCRYINGOUTLOUD!!!"
Daniel: "Yep, that'll get her back real fast Jack."
Jack: *Slaps Daniel*
Daniel: "Ow! What the hell was that for Jack?"
Jack: "Cause I felt like it."
Daniel: "But why?"
Teal'c: "I am curious to know the reason for this as well, O'Neill."
Jack: "It releases built up tension…and it's kinda fun."
Daniel: "JAAAAACK!"
Teal'c: "..."
Daniel: "Uh Teal'c, you okay?"
Teal'c: *Slaps Daniel*
Daniel: "Owww! TEAL'C?!? Not you too?!"
Teal'c: "You are indeed correct, O'Neill. I found that to be quite enjoyable."
Daniel: *Sigh* "How about we just find Sam and leave?"
Jack: "Good idea. Ok campers, time to commence Operation: Find Carter!"
Daniel: "…You really named it that?"
Jack: "Well, yeah. What else would I name it?"
Daniel: "Good point."
Jack: "Okay, step one: Yell her name at the top of your lungs as long as you can."
All: "CCCAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRTTTEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
"SSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM!"
"MMMAAAJJJOOORRRCCCAAARRRTTTEEERRR!"
All: "..."
Jack: "Hmm, didn't work."
Teal'c: "Indeed. Normally she would have responded to our call by now."
Daniel: "Step two?"
Jack: "Yep. Time for me to get all official on her ass…"
Daniel: *to Teal'c* "This one should work."
Jack: "..."
Daniel: "Uh, Jack?"
Jack: *eyes closed, smiling* "Mmmmmmhhhhhmmmm"
Daniel: "JACK!"
Jack: "Huh! What?"
Daniel: "Stop daydreaming about Sam's ass and get on with being official and everything."
Jack: *grumbling* "Fine. MAJOR SAMANTHA N. CARTER, USAF, FRONT AND CENTER! FAILURE TO
COMPLY WITH THESE ORDERS WILL GET YOUR ASS COURTMARTIALED FASTER THAN A DEATHGLIDER
THROUGH A WORMHOLE. CHARGES WILL INCLUDE, UMMM ... guys, help me out here, what HAS
Carter done wrong lately?"
Teal'c: "Nothing that I am aware of, O'Neill."
Daniel: "This IS Sam we're talking about."
Jack: "Wellm fat lot of help you two are. CHARGES WILL INCLUDE FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH A
DIRECT ORDER, GOING ABSENT W/O LEAVE, COMPRIMISAL OF OFFWORLD MISSION SECURITY ... AND
FRATERNIZING WITH A SUPERIOR OFFICER!"
Daniel: "WHAT?!"
Teal'c: "Congratulations, O'Neill. I wish you and Major Carter the greatest happiness together."
Jack: "No Teal'c, we're not going together or anything ... yet anyway."
Daniel: "Does step three involve yelling too?"
Jack: "Yep, actually it's the most dangerous step of all."
Daniel: "To our hearing?"
Jack: "To your mortal coil, Space Monkey."
Teal'c: "I believe step three involves tricking Major Carter into believing her chocolate supply
has been depleted."
Daniel: "Ah, that's right."
Jack: "CAAARRRTTEEERRRR! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF CHOCHOLATE!"
Daniel: "Uh, Jack?"
Jack: "Not now, Space Monkey."
Daniel: "Jack?"
Jack: *Sigh* "What is it, Dannyboy?"
Daniel: "Can I borrow your zat before this goes much further?"
Jack: "..."
Daniel: "Jack...?"
Jack: "CAARTTTEEERR-"
Daniel: "Why do I not like that grin you're wearing?"
Jack: "-DANIEL'S EATING YOUR CHOCHOLATE!"
Daniel: "Hey!"
Jack: "BETTER HURRY! HE'S GOING THROUGH THEM LIKE A REEFER GOES THROUGH A BAG OF PRINGLES!"
Teal'c: "Your are incorrect, O'Neill. Pringles come in a tubular canister, not a plastic bag."
Jack: "...Yeah, thanks for the reminder T."
Daniel: *muttering under his breath* "How does he know what reefers eat like, anyway? IT'S NOT
ME SAM! IT'S, uh...IT'S TEAL'C!"
Jack: "Daniel, that's enough, it's not working."
Teal'c: "I do not appreciate your endangering my safety in this way, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel: "As much as I hate to say it, Teal'c, better you than me. She'll rip me apart like tin
foil; you can actually put up a good fight."
Teal'c: "...You do make a very good point, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel: "Hey!"
Jack: "Stop picking on Teal'c, Daniel. Time to go to step four."
Daniel: "I'M picking on HIM?!"
Jack: "Daniel..."
Daniel: "I can't believe this. It's like I'm Curly getting tortured in a bad 3 Stooges episode."
Jack: "Hey, there are NO bad 3 Stooges episodes!"
Daniel: "And to think I trust you guys with my life."
Jack: "Daniel!"
Daniel: "Honestly, I'd prefer facing a legion of Jaffa to this any day. At least then-"
Jack: *slaps Daniel*
Daniel: "OOWWIE! DAMMIT JACK!" *glare at Jack*
Jack: *glares at Daniel*
Teal'c: "...What is a 3 Stooges, O'Neill?"
Jack: "It's not really important, T."
Daniel: "Can we PUHLEEZE just find Sam and get out of here?"
Jack: "Ok, fine. Step four..."
Daniel: "..."
Teal'c: "..."
Jack: "...You guys don't remember what it is, either?"
Daniel: "You know, for the man who invented this 'plan'..."
Jack: "There's a big slap waiting for you at the end of that sentence, Space Monkey."
Teal'c: "I believe that step four involved the telling of humorous anecdotes, O'Neill."
Daniel: "Jokes? How will that help?"
Jack: "That's it! Blonde jokes!"
Daniel: "Oh, sweet God, save me now."
Jack: "HEY CARTER, WHY DON'T BLONDES WEAR SAFETY HELMETS ?"
Daniel: *turns to Teal'c* "Uh, Teal'c?"
Jack: "NOTHING TO PROTECT!"
Teal'c: "You may borrow my zat'nitikal, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel: "Thank you so much."
Teal'c: *inclines his head to Daniel*
Jack: "CARTER, WHAT DID THE BLONDE GET ON HER SAT SCORES?"
Daniel: "The man really is insane."
Teal'c: "Indeed."
Jack: "NAIL POLISH!"
Daniel: "Jack, please! Before you get us all killed-"
Jack: "HEY MAJOR, WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE ASTROPHYSICIST?"
Teal'c: "O'NEILL!"
Daniel: "JACK!"
Jack: "OH FINE ALREADY! Damn it, I was looking forward to finishing that last one, too."
Daniel: "What's the plan for step five?"
Teal'c: "I do not recall."
Jack: "Lucky you two have me then. Quickly, to the StarGate!" *turns and walks twenty
feet to the Stargate*
Daniel: "..."
Teal'c: *raises an eyebrow*
Jack: *turns around* "You guys aren't following my lead."
Daniel: "Jack, remind me how you got entrusted with the rank of colonel again."
Jack: *waves his P-90 around* "I shoot things good."
Daniel: "Ah, that's right."
Jack: "Teal'c, could you dial us home? I don't remember the sequence."
Teal'c: "Very well, O'Neill."
Daniel: "We're leaving? Without Sam?!"
Teal'c: *dials Earth on the StarGate*
Gate: *FFFWWOOOOSSSHH*
Jack: "YES DANIEL, WE'RE LEAVING THE PLANET NOW, NEVER TO RETURN! SO GET THROUGH THE STARGATE."
Daniel: *sigh* "Okay." *head towards the open wormhole*
Jack: "Daniel, what are you doing?"
Daniel: "...I'm going through the Stargate?"
Jack: "No you're not, stop right there."
Daniel: "Ooookaay, now I'm confused."
Gate: *FFFWWWIIIISSSHHHPPP*
Jack: "Well, on to step six. OH MY GOD, TEAL'C, ON YOUR SIX!!!" *cocks P-90 and starts
shooting sand and rocks like crazy*
Teal'c: *joins him with his staff weapon*
Daniel: "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?!?!"
Jack: *stops shooting for a second while Teal'c demolishes a stone outcropping* "We're making
it look like we're fighting someone, of course."
Daniel: "WHO? THE ARMY OF THE SAND GRAIN PEOPLE!?!"
Jack: "You can sit there and complain, Daniel, or you can contribute. Either way, doesn't matter
to me; I'm having too much fun." *continues shooting up the dunes with Teal'c*
Daniel: *watching them* "Ah, what the hell." *starts disintegrating rocks and clumps of sand*
All: *continue that way for about two minutes*
Teal'c: "This does not appear to have the desired effect, O'Neill."
Jack: "Well, onto step seven."
Daniel: "Jack, wait a minute. I don't think we have a step seven."
Teal'c: "Daniel Jackson is correct, O'Neill."
Jack: "Still, it IS time for step seven." *starts taking of his vest and jacket*
Daniel: *to Teal'c* "What do you think step seven is?"
Teal'c: "I do not know, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel: "Uh, Jack-"
Jack: *is now down to his t-shirt* "What is it, Space Monkey?"
Daniel: "What the HELL are you doing?"
Jack: "wpWell, what does it look like?" *takes off his shirt with a flourish, grinning like an
idiot* "I'm STRIPPING!"
???: *somewhere beyond the dunes* "EEEP!"
Daniel: *turns toward the sound* "Teal'c, did you hear that?"
Jack: "Danny boy, hold this for me, would you?" *holds out his pants*
Daniel: *turning around* "Huh? Hold onto what-OHMYGODHESINHISBOXERS!"
???: *again, somewhere out there* "GASP!"
Teal'c: "I believe I did just hear something, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel: "JACK, PLEASE! KEEP THEM ON!!!"
Jack: "Sorry Daniel, but these boxers MUST COME OFF!"
Teal'c: "O'NEILL, DO NOT REMOVE YOUR UNDERGARMENTS!"
Daniel: "PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD-"
Jack: "THEY'RE COMING OFF NOW!"
Teal'c: "DO NOT DO THIS, O'NEILL!"
Daniel: "JACK, DON'T DO IT!!!!!"
Sam: *pops up from behind a big sand dune* "DO IT! DO IT NOW!!!"
Guys: *stare at Carter*
Sam: "...uh...I mean...sir...and Daniel, Teal'c...ummm..."
Jack: "Nice to have you back, Carter!"
Teal'c: "It is good to see you alive and well, Major Carter."
Daniel: "SAM! THANK GOD!" *wraps her in a hug*
Sam: "Daniel?!"
Daniel: "NEVER let him do that AGAIN!"
Sam: *looks at O'Neill in his boxers* "Pickachu, sir?"
Jack: "Not a word, they were a gift from Cassie. Now, if someone would dial us home, please."
Daniel: "Me, I'll do it!" *dials home and runs through the gate at the first opportunity*
Teal'c: *follows Daniel*
Sam: "...uh, well..."
Jack: *picks up his clothes* "Just so long as it doesn't happen again, Major."
Sam: "Yes sir, I'll tone done the volume on my walkman, next time."
Jack: "Very good. Oh, and Sam?"
Sam: "Colonel?"
Jack: "About the jokes..."
Sam: "It's okay, sir."
Jack: "Really?"
Sam: "Really."
Jack: "Oh, oh good then."
Sam: "Yes sir, it is."
Jack: *goes through the gate*
Sam: *pulls something out of her pocket* "Especially when it's all caught on digital camera."
~Fin~
P.S. You like? Now be good little campers and review; if you do, I'll do more like this... ;)
Season/Spoilers: Any season where Sam is a major and Daniel's there / none at all
Rating/Content : PG / Some slight language
Category: Humor
Summary: How to find your 2IC offworld
Author's Note: I'm back! Yes I know, that line is SOOO old and overused. This is
just stupid fun stuff. Anyhoo, r/r, but most importantly, ENJOY!
Finding Carter
By Gimli2003
Jack: "I'm bored. Yep, really bored. Oh so very bored. Bored bored bored. Yep, I haven't
been this bored since the last time we were on a boring alien planet with nothing on it
but miles and miles of boring desert in every single boring direction of the boring
compass and-"
Daniel: "Jack, please shut up."
Jack: "But I'm BORED! B-O-A-R-E-D, BORED!"
Daniel: "I don't care, just SHUT UP!"
Jack: "Shutting up would be something I might do if I had something to do after I did that,
but since I don't, I won't."
Daniel: "Huh?"
Jack: "What?"
Daniel: "You won't what?"
Jack: "What do you mean, 'I won't what?'"
Daniel: "That's what I want to know."
Jack: "Well don't we all, Danny-boy. Except me, of course, because-"
Daniel: "Yes, yes, you're bored, I GET IT!!!"
Jack: "No, actually I was going to say we're heading out."
Daniel: "No you weren't."
Jack: "...You're right I wasn't. But we are."
Daniel: "We are what?"
Jack: "Heading out."
Daniel: "When?"
Jack: "How about, oh I don't know, NOW?!"
Daniel: "Oh…okay."
Jack: "Well that's too bad Daniel because-wait, what?"
Teal'c: "I believe Daniel Jackson is ready to depart as well, O'Neill."
Jack: "Oh...well, good. It's about time you stopped playing with that rock anyway."
Daniel: "Actually it's a gravestone Jack, with a wonderful eulogy carved into it in a fascinating
combination of Japanese and Cyrillic characters, with the syntax of ancient-"
Jack: "Good for whoever died and went into the ground under it, let's go!"
Teal'c: "O'Neill."
Jack: "Yeah, T?"
Teal'c: "We seem to be missing Major Carter."
Jack: "What?" *Looks around* "...OHFERCRYINGOUTLOUD!!!"
Daniel: "Yep, that'll get her back real fast Jack."
Jack: *Slaps Daniel*
Daniel: "Ow! What the hell was that for Jack?"
Jack: "Cause I felt like it."
Daniel: "But why?"
Teal'c: "I am curious to know the reason for this as well, O'Neill."
Jack: "It releases built up tension…and it's kinda fun."
Daniel: "JAAAAACK!"
Teal'c: "..."
Daniel: "Uh Teal'c, you okay?"
Teal'c: *Slaps Daniel*
Daniel: "Owww! TEAL'C?!? Not you too?!"
Teal'c: "You are indeed correct, O'Neill. I found that to be quite enjoyable."
Daniel: *Sigh* "How about we just find Sam and leave?"
Jack: "Good idea. Ok campers, time to commence Operation: Find Carter!"
Daniel: "…You really named it that?"
Jack: "Well, yeah. What else would I name it?"
Daniel: "Good point."
Jack: "Okay, step one: Yell her name at the top of your lungs as long as you can."
All: "CCCAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRTTTEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
"SSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM!"
"MMMAAAJJJOOORRRCCCAAARRRTTTEEERRR!"
All: "..."
Jack: "Hmm, didn't work."
Teal'c: "Indeed. Normally she would have responded to our call by now."
Daniel: "Step two?"
Jack: "Yep. Time for me to get all official on her ass…"
Daniel: *to Teal'c* "This one should work."
Jack: "..."
Daniel: "Uh, Jack?"
Jack: *eyes closed, smiling* "Mmmmmmhhhhhmmmm"
Daniel: "JACK!"
Jack: "Huh! What?"
Daniel: "Stop daydreaming about Sam's ass and get on with being official and everything."
Jack: *grumbling* "Fine. MAJOR SAMANTHA N. CARTER, USAF, FRONT AND CENTER! FAILURE TO
COMPLY WITH THESE ORDERS WILL GET YOUR ASS COURTMARTIALED FASTER THAN A DEATHGLIDER
THROUGH A WORMHOLE. CHARGES WILL INCLUDE, UMMM ... guys, help me out here, what HAS
Carter done wrong lately?"
Teal'c: "Nothing that I am aware of, O'Neill."
Daniel: "This IS Sam we're talking about."
Jack: "Wellm fat lot of help you two are. CHARGES WILL INCLUDE FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH A
DIRECT ORDER, GOING ABSENT W/O LEAVE, COMPRIMISAL OF OFFWORLD MISSION SECURITY ... AND
FRATERNIZING WITH A SUPERIOR OFFICER!"
Daniel: "WHAT?!"
Teal'c: "Congratulations, O'Neill. I wish you and Major Carter the greatest happiness together."
Jack: "No Teal'c, we're not going together or anything ... yet anyway."
Daniel: "Does step three involve yelling too?"
Jack: "Yep, actually it's the most dangerous step of all."
Daniel: "To our hearing?"
Jack: "To your mortal coil, Space Monkey."
Teal'c: "I believe step three involves tricking Major Carter into believing her chocolate supply
has been depleted."
Daniel: "Ah, that's right."
Jack: "CAAARRRTTEEERRRR! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF CHOCHOLATE!"
Daniel: "Uh, Jack?"
Jack: "Not now, Space Monkey."
Daniel: "Jack?"
Jack: *Sigh* "What is it, Dannyboy?"
Daniel: "Can I borrow your zat before this goes much further?"
Jack: "..."
Daniel: "Jack...?"
Jack: "CAARTTTEEERR-"
Daniel: "Why do I not like that grin you're wearing?"
Jack: "-DANIEL'S EATING YOUR CHOCHOLATE!"
Daniel: "Hey!"
Jack: "BETTER HURRY! HE'S GOING THROUGH THEM LIKE A REEFER GOES THROUGH A BAG OF PRINGLES!"
Teal'c: "Your are incorrect, O'Neill. Pringles come in a tubular canister, not a plastic bag."
Jack: "...Yeah, thanks for the reminder T."
Daniel: *muttering under his breath* "How does he know what reefers eat like, anyway? IT'S NOT
ME SAM! IT'S, uh...IT'S TEAL'C!"
Jack: "Daniel, that's enough, it's not working."
Teal'c: "I do not appreciate your endangering my safety in this way, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel: "As much as I hate to say it, Teal'c, better you than me. She'll rip me apart like tin
foil; you can actually put up a good fight."
Teal'c: "...You do make a very good point, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel: "Hey!"
Jack: "Stop picking on Teal'c, Daniel. Time to go to step four."
Daniel: "I'M picking on HIM?!"
Jack: "Daniel..."
Daniel: "I can't believe this. It's like I'm Curly getting tortured in a bad 3 Stooges episode."
Jack: "Hey, there are NO bad 3 Stooges episodes!"
Daniel: "And to think I trust you guys with my life."
Jack: "Daniel!"
Daniel: "Honestly, I'd prefer facing a legion of Jaffa to this any day. At least then-"
Jack: *slaps Daniel*
Daniel: "OOWWIE! DAMMIT JACK!" *glare at Jack*
Jack: *glares at Daniel*
Teal'c: "...What is a 3 Stooges, O'Neill?"
Jack: "It's not really important, T."
Daniel: "Can we PUHLEEZE just find Sam and get out of here?"
Jack: "Ok, fine. Step four..."
Daniel: "..."
Teal'c: "..."
Jack: "...You guys don't remember what it is, either?"
Daniel: "You know, for the man who invented this 'plan'..."
Jack: "There's a big slap waiting for you at the end of that sentence, Space Monkey."
Teal'c: "I believe that step four involved the telling of humorous anecdotes, O'Neill."
Daniel: "Jokes? How will that help?"
Jack: "That's it! Blonde jokes!"
Daniel: "Oh, sweet God, save me now."
Jack: "HEY CARTER, WHY DON'T BLONDES WEAR SAFETY HELMETS ?"
Daniel: *turns to Teal'c* "Uh, Teal'c?"
Jack: "NOTHING TO PROTECT!"
Teal'c: "You may borrow my zat'nitikal, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel: "Thank you so much."
Teal'c: *inclines his head to Daniel*
Jack: "CARTER, WHAT DID THE BLONDE GET ON HER SAT SCORES?"
Daniel: "The man really is insane."
Teal'c: "Indeed."
Jack: "NAIL POLISH!"
Daniel: "Jack, please! Before you get us all killed-"
Jack: "HEY MAJOR, WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE ASTROPHYSICIST?"
Teal'c: "O'NEILL!"
Daniel: "JACK!"
Jack: "OH FINE ALREADY! Damn it, I was looking forward to finishing that last one, too."
Daniel: "What's the plan for step five?"
Teal'c: "I do not recall."
Jack: "Lucky you two have me then. Quickly, to the StarGate!" *turns and walks twenty
feet to the Stargate*
Daniel: "..."
Teal'c: *raises an eyebrow*
Jack: *turns around* "You guys aren't following my lead."
Daniel: "Jack, remind me how you got entrusted with the rank of colonel again."
Jack: *waves his P-90 around* "I shoot things good."
Daniel: "Ah, that's right."
Jack: "Teal'c, could you dial us home? I don't remember the sequence."
Teal'c: "Very well, O'Neill."
Daniel: "We're leaving? Without Sam?!"
Teal'c: *dials Earth on the StarGate*
Gate: *FFFWWOOOOSSSHH*
Jack: "YES DANIEL, WE'RE LEAVING THE PLANET NOW, NEVER TO RETURN! SO GET THROUGH THE STARGATE."
Daniel: *sigh* "Okay." *head towards the open wormhole*
Jack: "Daniel, what are you doing?"
Daniel: "...I'm going through the Stargate?"
Jack: "No you're not, stop right there."
Daniel: "Ooookaay, now I'm confused."
Gate: *FFFWWWIIIISSSHHHPPP*
Jack: "Well, on to step six. OH MY GOD, TEAL'C, ON YOUR SIX!!!" *cocks P-90 and starts
shooting sand and rocks like crazy*
Teal'c: *joins him with his staff weapon*
Daniel: "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?!?!"
Jack: *stops shooting for a second while Teal'c demolishes a stone outcropping* "We're making
it look like we're fighting someone, of course."
Daniel: "WHO? THE ARMY OF THE SAND GRAIN PEOPLE!?!"
Jack: "You can sit there and complain, Daniel, or you can contribute. Either way, doesn't matter
to me; I'm having too much fun." *continues shooting up the dunes with Teal'c*
Daniel: *watching them* "Ah, what the hell." *starts disintegrating rocks and clumps of sand*
All: *continue that way for about two minutes*
Teal'c: "This does not appear to have the desired effect, O'Neill."
Jack: "Well, onto step seven."
Daniel: "Jack, wait a minute. I don't think we have a step seven."
Teal'c: "Daniel Jackson is correct, O'Neill."
Jack: "Still, it IS time for step seven." *starts taking of his vest and jacket*
Daniel: *to Teal'c* "What do you think step seven is?"
Teal'c: "I do not know, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel: "Uh, Jack-"
Jack: *is now down to his t-shirt* "What is it, Space Monkey?"
Daniel: "What the HELL are you doing?"
Jack: "wpWell, what does it look like?" *takes off his shirt with a flourish, grinning like an
idiot* "I'm STRIPPING!"
???: *somewhere beyond the dunes* "EEEP!"
Daniel: *turns toward the sound* "Teal'c, did you hear that?"
Jack: "Danny boy, hold this for me, would you?" *holds out his pants*
Daniel: *turning around* "Huh? Hold onto what-OHMYGODHESINHISBOXERS!"
???: *again, somewhere out there* "GASP!"
Teal'c: "I believe I did just hear something, Daniel Jackson."
Daniel: "JACK, PLEASE! KEEP THEM ON!!!"
Jack: "Sorry Daniel, but these boxers MUST COME OFF!"
Teal'c: "O'NEILL, DO NOT REMOVE YOUR UNDERGARMENTS!"
Daniel: "PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD-"
Jack: "THEY'RE COMING OFF NOW!"
Teal'c: "DO NOT DO THIS, O'NEILL!"
Daniel: "JACK, DON'T DO IT!!!!!"
Sam: *pops up from behind a big sand dune* "DO IT! DO IT NOW!!!"
Guys: *stare at Carter*
Sam: "...uh...I mean...sir...and Daniel, Teal'c...ummm..."
Jack: "Nice to have you back, Carter!"
Teal'c: "It is good to see you alive and well, Major Carter."
Daniel: "SAM! THANK GOD!" *wraps her in a hug*
Sam: "Daniel?!"
Daniel: "NEVER let him do that AGAIN!"
Sam: *looks at O'Neill in his boxers* "Pickachu, sir?"
Jack: "Not a word, they were a gift from Cassie. Now, if someone would dial us home, please."
Daniel: "Me, I'll do it!" *dials home and runs through the gate at the first opportunity*
Teal'c: *follows Daniel*
Sam: "...uh, well..."
Jack: *picks up his clothes* "Just so long as it doesn't happen again, Major."
Sam: "Yes sir, I'll tone done the volume on my walkman, next time."
Jack: "Very good. Oh, and Sam?"
Sam: "Colonel?"
Jack: "About the jokes..."
Sam: "It's okay, sir."
Jack: "Really?"
Sam: "Really."
Jack: "Oh, oh good then."
Sam: "Yes sir, it is."
Jack: *goes through the gate*
Sam: *pulls something out of her pocket* "Especially when it's all caught on digital camera."
~Fin~
P.S. You like? Now be good little campers and review; if you do, I'll do more like this... ;)