// As promised, the sequel to Finding Carter. Thanks for the reviews, guys. You're a great bunch.

// See previous chapter for story info

// Oh yeah, since I forgot this in the original chapter, I own just the story here, nothing else.

Chapter Two: The Aftermath

Hammond: "I can't believe you two."

Sam: "..."

Jack: "...Y'know, this isn't really our fault sir."

Hammond: "Really?"

Jack: "Uh, yes?"

Hammond: "How do you figure that Colonel?"

Jack: "Well, sir, we kept everything about this incident on planet."

Hammond: "I see. And how do you explain this?" *turns around the computer monitor on his desk*

Sam: "Oh boy."

Jack: "It was her fault." *points to Sam*

Sam: *mumbles* "Traitor."

Jack: "Oh, you're one to talk. I made up this plan to find YOU."

Sam: "So it's all my fault, huh?"

Jack: "Yes, exactly."

Sam: "My fault you went psycho with your P-90 and stripped to your undies in the middle of

the dessert simply because..."

Hammond: "Quite, both of you!"

Jack: "..."

Sam: "..."

Hammond: "Well, answer me."

Jack: "I thought we were supposed to be quiet."

Hammond: "Colonel, now is NOT the time to test my patience. Answer my question, people."

Sam: *looks to Jack, confused*

Jack: *looks the same way* "Eh, what was the question again?"

Hammond: "What in Hellfire did you two think you were doing on that planet?!"

Jack: *points to Hammonds screen* "I thought the video was sort of self-explanatory."

Sam: *raises an eyebrow in amusement* "Sure was to me."

Jack: "Are you coming on to me, Major?"

Hammond: "Jack!"

Jack: "Shutting up."

Hammond: "Major, care to donate your two cents to this conversation?"

Sam: "...I didn't think anyone else would know that video even existed, much less look for it

in my quarters."

Hammond: *sigh* "All right then, I guess this isn't going anywhere..."

Jack: "So we can leave? Wonderful sir, thanks, nice seeing ya again, ciao," *turns to leave*

Hammond: "GET BACK HERE COLONEL!"

Jack: "Damn, so close."

Hammond: "As I was saying, since this isn't going anywhere, let's go over how we're going to fix

this."

Sam: "Honestly sir, I don't think there's anything to fix."

Hammond: "A digital recording of one of the most incredibly ludicrous acts ever committed by SG-1

while off-world has been running over the base network for the past 6 hours and you think

there's nothing here to fix?!"

Sam: "Well..."

Jack: "Again, it's her fault."

Sam: "Sir, permission to strike my CO?"

Hammond: "Denied, of course!"

Sam: "Crap."

Hammond: "Crap indeed. That's what all of SG-1 is in if we don't get started with damage control

right the Hell now."

Jack: "Sir, I thought that, given our reputation, damage 'control' is the last thing you'd want

us involved in."

Hammond: "Do you see me laughing Colonel?"

Jack: "Thankfully, no. Otherwise I'd think that you had come up with a really hideous plan to

punish us."

Sam: "General, I can make some suggestions for appropriate such recourse with the colonel, if

you'd like."

Jack: "Major!"

Sam: "Just doing my part at damage control, colonel."

Hammond: "...I'll think about it, Major."

Jack: "Sir?!"

Hammond: "Relax, Jack, if I do accept her ideas, I'll let you put in a few of your own for her."

Jack: *grins evily* "Hehehehehe."

Sam: "Oh brother."

Hammond: "Turn about is fair play, Major."

Jack: "Wait a minute: you mean I have to play fair?"

Hammond: "I'd advise it, Colonel. Unless you want Major Carter to have the same leeway in your

punishment as you will in hers."

Jack: "On second thought, fair play sounds good."

Sam: "What changed your mind sir?"

Jack: "You're far too evil to be let totally off the lease, Major."

Sam: "Aww, thank you sir." *looks proud*

Jack: *looks intimidated*

Hammond: *looks exasperated*

Jack: "Sir, what about Daniel and Teal'c?"

Sam: "Yeah, they were just as complicit in this as we were."

Hammond: "I've already seen to that."

Sam: "..."

Jack: "...Are you gonna tell us what they got for punishment?"

Hammond: "Well, I had thought about cutting off Dr. Jackson from the bases coffee supply-"

Sam: "Dear God, no!"

Jack: "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, sir, please-"

Hammond: "-but decided that was more punishment than ANY of us needed."

Jack: "Phew."

Sam: *mouths upward* "Thank you."

Hammond: "We're a little short-staffed, recently, so I decided to send both of them to the galley,

instead."

Jack: "As test tasters?"

Hammond: "As dish scrubbers."

Jack: "Good ol' KP, eh George?"

Hammond: "Relax, Jack. There's no way in Hell I'm letting YOU get off that easy."

Jack: *gulps visibly*

Hammond: "Anyway, back to the original matter at hand."

Sam: "Well, I could go through the system and delete all copies of the video from the base

network. Combined with my erasing the cameras memory chip, all record of the video should

be destroyed, so long as you can get anyone to turn in any copies they may have made of

the video."

Hammond: *sighs* "I guess that will have to do. Dismissed major."

Sam: "Thank you sir." *turns to leave*

Jack "Whoa whoa WHOA! One minute major. General," *indicates Carter* "what was that?"

Hammond: "Major Carter fixing our problem and receiving her punishment."

Jack: "Uh-huh. And the punishment was…where?"

Hammond: "She'll be on the network for days correcting this mistake, Colonel."

Jack: "No, she'll have it done in hours, sir. And besides, this is Carter we're talking about;

she loves this stuff."

Sam: *smiles sweetly* "You won't be safe when you sleep from now on, sir."

Jack: *points at her* "Ok, THAT deserves a reprimand at the least. Assign her with Danny and

Teal'c to KP, too."

Hammond: "And have her poison the SGC?"

Sam: "HEY!"

Jack: "..."

Hammond: "..."

Sam: "Well...yeah, right…whatever…stupid culinary arts."

Hammond: "All right, then. I also want you to reconfigure the base Ethernet. Have it running at

30%, no 50% greater efficiency by the end of the week."

Sam: "Gladly, sir."

Hammond: *sends an inquisitive look to Jack*

Jack: *shakes his head*

Hammond: "And backup the base files and copy all of Dr. Jackson's artifact reports onto DVDs."

Sam: "Will do."

Hammond: "...Link the base computers to act as a supercomputer to aid in the decryption of the

Ancient language we found on the tablets of PS9-348."

Sam: "All righty."

Hammond: "Expand our current memory reserves by five times over without adding new hardware."

Sam: "I'll get right on it."

Hammond: "Install a wireless network on every level of the base."

Sam: "Actually, sir, I did that last week."

Hammond: "Damnit, major!"

Jack: *grinning* "Told ya."

Hammond: *swears underneath his breath, pauses, then brightens* "All right, then. Major, you will

be doing everything I just instructed you to do," *turns to Jack* "through him."

Sam: *gasps in horror*

Jack: *eyes go wide*

Hammond: "Yes, you will instruct Colonel O'Neill in all of those endeavors. I will have you

monitored. If your hands every actually perform any of this work, Major, both of you will

clean latrines for the next month."

Sam: *shocked speechless*

Jack: *sighs* "Can't we just do that instead?"

Hammond: *smiles* "Good day, people."

Sam: *leaves the room in a stupor*

Jack: *follows suit*

Hammond: *chuckles and then reclines in his chair* "Major Carter isn't the only one who knows

how to be evil, Jack."

// Like it? Review please, campers!