A/N: Hey everyone! I'm finally back! I'll bet you all thought I died,
huh? Sorry to keep you all waiting, and I really don't have a good excuse
to give for why I haven't posted in—what has it been, almost a year now?
I'm just lazy. Hehe.
Thanks to everyone who reviews, input is always so encouraging to fanfic writers like me.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. I would go through and name everything with exactly whom it is copyrighted to, but you probably aren't even reading this anyway, are you???
The WAR in Wario
The fourth installment in the epic story
Wario leaned back in his leather recliner and turned his gaze toward the dark, rain splattered window. Every few seconds lightening lit up the sky, followed by a crash of thunder which seemed to reverberate in his very chest, filling him with a sort of reckless bravery which made him want to do something crazy, something evil.
Wario picked up his purple Nintendo 64 controller from the ground and extended his big toe to turn on Super Mario 64. While using the small white glove on the screen to contort Mario's face into gruesome positions, Wario began to devise his plan. About the time he had twisted Mario's face to look like the swine he was, it hit him. Literally.
A thick book entitled "101 Most-Loved Children's Games" dislodged itself from between his live spriteling bookends and fell open to page 371 in his lap. The spritelings trembled from head to foot as Wario swiveled his chair around to glare at them. One of the spritelings took Wario's glare as an initiative to start talking. "W-Wario, are you using the b-b-B button correctly?" the spriteling stammered, shrinking back under Wario's intensified glare. Wario grabbed the spriteling by its pointy green hat and stuffed it into a nearby cardboard box. He could still hear it mumbling about a Dash Attack as he securely duct-taped the top shut and poked a few air holes in the side with a screwdriver.
Deeply annoyed that he had ever let the spriteling out, Wario made a mental note to drop the box off somewhere out in the woods later. Maybe it would find a home with other happy woodland sprites. Then again, maybe the spriteling would get eaten by a cougar the moment it freed itself from its cardboard prison. Either way, Wario didn't really care.
Wario's eyes wandered back to the book in his lap and grinned as he read the black bold lettering "Truth or Dare?". This was the sort of evil plan he could carry out easily. With some help, of course...
*Back at the Mushroom Kingdom*
Mario cleared his throat and looked bleary-eyed around the castle library. It was almost 11:00, and he couldn't read another page of Fuzzy Breeding for Pleasure and Profit if he'd wanted to. He glanced over at Princess Toadstool, who was immersed in How to Get Your Lover to Wear Something Other Than Tacky Red Overalls, and his eyes rested on Luigi, who seemed content to be flicking through Starring in Your Own Video Game For Dummies. Mario rolled his eyes, but he was thankful that Luigi was at least reading something other than The Little Engine That Could.
Sighing, Mario returned his book to the shelf and bid everyone goodnight. On the way out of the library Mario thought it best to confiscate Toad's tattoo magazine he had been avidly reading, just in case Toad might've come back to the castle one day looking like a lost member of KISS.
Mario began walking down the drafty corridor back to the guest room he usually occupied when he couldn't bring himself to drag his lazy fat ass home. However, Mario didn't hear his stalker creeping down the hall after him. Mario climbed a flight of stairs, yawning. He didn't hear his stalker climb up the carpeted stairs after him, closing in on the gap between them the whole while.
Just as Mario reached from his bedroom door handle, he heard a soft buzzzzzz coming from right behind him. Mario's first thought was "Bumblebee". Mario turned around sharply to smash the sorry bugger, and saw nothing; although he heard a suit of armor crash to the floor on his right, almost as though someone had jumped out of the way of his vision. But Mario chuckled nervously and quickly dismissed the idea, since bumblebees obviously can't knock over suits of armor. He decided the deafening crash must have been his imagination.
Mario made his way in the dark to the soft, comfortable bed. In fact, it was so soft and comfortable Mario flopped down on it quite a few times. He didn't hear his stalker become lodged in his doorway and start cursing Dunkin Donuts over all the noise his bed was making. Finally, Mario hung up his cap on a peg over the bed and closed his eyes. He could hear the soft buzzzzzzz sound again and wondered sleepily whether the bee would fly up his nose and make colonies in there like he had seen on Ripley's Believe It Or Not.
The stalker waited until Mario's soft and steady breathing turned into loud, gargling, window-shattering snores. Wario looked over at the curtains, which were now swaying dangerously toward the bed every time Mario sucked in another death-rattling breath. Wario smirked; at least Mario's snores blocked out any sound his electric razor made...
***
Mario woke up the next morning and stretched his arms to the ceiling. Stuffing his red cap back on to his head, he bounded to the door, smelling breakfast. He had barely made it a step, a skip, and a leap when he realized something was missing. He looked down and saw he was still wearing his blue shirt and tacky red overalls. He lifted a hand to his forehead and found he still had his cap on. Just something about Mario didn't seem...well, Mario. He turned around to check himself out in the mirror. "MOMMA MIA!!!"
Mario screamed loud enough to deafen anyone within a five-mile radius. Two floors below, Princess Peach rushed upstairs to be by his side, while Luigi was thrown into cardiac arrest from the sudden shock. Practically tripping over her dress every step of the way in her haste to get to Mario, the Princess threw open his door and instantly saw what was distressing him.
"Oh Mario, you're clean-shaven!"
*Back at Bowser's Lair*
The dark silhouettes of Wario, Waluigi, Bowser, Birdo, and several other baddies could be seen sitting in chairs with spiked armrests in a dark, cold dungeon, while a few random Koopa kids beat each other up happily in the background. "But I want to see the actual pictures," said Waluigi in his usual cackle. Wario complied and pulled out a few photos which he threw on the table between them so everyone could see. "Dang," said Bowser reverently as he leaned back in his chair. This must have been the best prank ever played on Mario, and Bowser knew even his prank letter inviting Mario to "The Average Joe" paled in comparison.
Wario knew what kind of inner struggle Bowser must be going through. Judging by the way he squirmed restlessly in his chair and clenched and unclenched his fists, he was either angry that someone had finally beaten him at getting the better of Mario, or he needed some Preparation H. Hoping it was the former, Wario decided to give Bowser the chance to redeem himself. He turned to the large, spikey reptile and narrowed his eyes.
"Bowser, truth or dare?"
**********************
A/N: Sooooo, what do ya think? As good as the last chapters, or am I a bit rusty from not writing for so long? Plz review, my sanity and your entertainment depend on it. I'll try and get another chappie up soon if ya'll still like this poor story.
If you have any good pranks you'd love to be seen played on Mario and the gang, tell me! I take my reviews into serious consideration, you know.
Thanks to everyone who reviews, input is always so encouraging to fanfic writers like me.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. I would go through and name everything with exactly whom it is copyrighted to, but you probably aren't even reading this anyway, are you???
The WAR in Wario
The fourth installment in the epic story
Wario leaned back in his leather recliner and turned his gaze toward the dark, rain splattered window. Every few seconds lightening lit up the sky, followed by a crash of thunder which seemed to reverberate in his very chest, filling him with a sort of reckless bravery which made him want to do something crazy, something evil.
Wario picked up his purple Nintendo 64 controller from the ground and extended his big toe to turn on Super Mario 64. While using the small white glove on the screen to contort Mario's face into gruesome positions, Wario began to devise his plan. About the time he had twisted Mario's face to look like the swine he was, it hit him. Literally.
A thick book entitled "101 Most-Loved Children's Games" dislodged itself from between his live spriteling bookends and fell open to page 371 in his lap. The spritelings trembled from head to foot as Wario swiveled his chair around to glare at them. One of the spritelings took Wario's glare as an initiative to start talking. "W-Wario, are you using the b-b-B button correctly?" the spriteling stammered, shrinking back under Wario's intensified glare. Wario grabbed the spriteling by its pointy green hat and stuffed it into a nearby cardboard box. He could still hear it mumbling about a Dash Attack as he securely duct-taped the top shut and poked a few air holes in the side with a screwdriver.
Deeply annoyed that he had ever let the spriteling out, Wario made a mental note to drop the box off somewhere out in the woods later. Maybe it would find a home with other happy woodland sprites. Then again, maybe the spriteling would get eaten by a cougar the moment it freed itself from its cardboard prison. Either way, Wario didn't really care.
Wario's eyes wandered back to the book in his lap and grinned as he read the black bold lettering "Truth or Dare?". This was the sort of evil plan he could carry out easily. With some help, of course...
*Back at the Mushroom Kingdom*
Mario cleared his throat and looked bleary-eyed around the castle library. It was almost 11:00, and he couldn't read another page of Fuzzy Breeding for Pleasure and Profit if he'd wanted to. He glanced over at Princess Toadstool, who was immersed in How to Get Your Lover to Wear Something Other Than Tacky Red Overalls, and his eyes rested on Luigi, who seemed content to be flicking through Starring in Your Own Video Game For Dummies. Mario rolled his eyes, but he was thankful that Luigi was at least reading something other than The Little Engine That Could.
Sighing, Mario returned his book to the shelf and bid everyone goodnight. On the way out of the library Mario thought it best to confiscate Toad's tattoo magazine he had been avidly reading, just in case Toad might've come back to the castle one day looking like a lost member of KISS.
Mario began walking down the drafty corridor back to the guest room he usually occupied when he couldn't bring himself to drag his lazy fat ass home. However, Mario didn't hear his stalker creeping down the hall after him. Mario climbed a flight of stairs, yawning. He didn't hear his stalker climb up the carpeted stairs after him, closing in on the gap between them the whole while.
Just as Mario reached from his bedroom door handle, he heard a soft buzzzzzz coming from right behind him. Mario's first thought was "Bumblebee". Mario turned around sharply to smash the sorry bugger, and saw nothing; although he heard a suit of armor crash to the floor on his right, almost as though someone had jumped out of the way of his vision. But Mario chuckled nervously and quickly dismissed the idea, since bumblebees obviously can't knock over suits of armor. He decided the deafening crash must have been his imagination.
Mario made his way in the dark to the soft, comfortable bed. In fact, it was so soft and comfortable Mario flopped down on it quite a few times. He didn't hear his stalker become lodged in his doorway and start cursing Dunkin Donuts over all the noise his bed was making. Finally, Mario hung up his cap on a peg over the bed and closed his eyes. He could hear the soft buzzzzzzz sound again and wondered sleepily whether the bee would fly up his nose and make colonies in there like he had seen on Ripley's Believe It Or Not.
The stalker waited until Mario's soft and steady breathing turned into loud, gargling, window-shattering snores. Wario looked over at the curtains, which were now swaying dangerously toward the bed every time Mario sucked in another death-rattling breath. Wario smirked; at least Mario's snores blocked out any sound his electric razor made...
***
Mario woke up the next morning and stretched his arms to the ceiling. Stuffing his red cap back on to his head, he bounded to the door, smelling breakfast. He had barely made it a step, a skip, and a leap when he realized something was missing. He looked down and saw he was still wearing his blue shirt and tacky red overalls. He lifted a hand to his forehead and found he still had his cap on. Just something about Mario didn't seem...well, Mario. He turned around to check himself out in the mirror. "MOMMA MIA!!!"
Mario screamed loud enough to deafen anyone within a five-mile radius. Two floors below, Princess Peach rushed upstairs to be by his side, while Luigi was thrown into cardiac arrest from the sudden shock. Practically tripping over her dress every step of the way in her haste to get to Mario, the Princess threw open his door and instantly saw what was distressing him.
"Oh Mario, you're clean-shaven!"
*Back at Bowser's Lair*
The dark silhouettes of Wario, Waluigi, Bowser, Birdo, and several other baddies could be seen sitting in chairs with spiked armrests in a dark, cold dungeon, while a few random Koopa kids beat each other up happily in the background. "But I want to see the actual pictures," said Waluigi in his usual cackle. Wario complied and pulled out a few photos which he threw on the table between them so everyone could see. "Dang," said Bowser reverently as he leaned back in his chair. This must have been the best prank ever played on Mario, and Bowser knew even his prank letter inviting Mario to "The Average Joe" paled in comparison.
Wario knew what kind of inner struggle Bowser must be going through. Judging by the way he squirmed restlessly in his chair and clenched and unclenched his fists, he was either angry that someone had finally beaten him at getting the better of Mario, or he needed some Preparation H. Hoping it was the former, Wario decided to give Bowser the chance to redeem himself. He turned to the large, spikey reptile and narrowed his eyes.
"Bowser, truth or dare?"
**********************
A/N: Sooooo, what do ya think? As good as the last chapters, or am I a bit rusty from not writing for so long? Plz review, my sanity and your entertainment depend on it. I'll try and get another chappie up soon if ya'll still like this poor story.
If you have any good pranks you'd love to be seen played on Mario and the gang, tell me! I take my reviews into serious consideration, you know.