[Cut back to the apartment]
The cops are all over Doremi's room as well. KOTAKE TETSUYA- Doremi's meal ticket- ...er, I mean her roommate- is being interviewed for evidence. [Yeah. Roommate ...that is what I meant to say.]
TETSUYA: Like I was saying, officer, I showed up and stopped the intruder.
COP: You mean to tell me you killed this guy in self-defense?
TETSUYA: Yes-sir. I was rightfully protecting my home.
COP: ...by ripping his still beating heart right out of his rib cage...?
TETSUYA: ...er, yes?
Doremi stoops sullenly in the corner. She tries her best not to think about the terrible screw-up of hers and, absent-mindedly, begins eavesdropping on the chatter between Tetsuya and the cop.
DOREMI: (thinking) Na, waitaminute, Kotake-kun's actually doing something for me?
All lights in the room dim except one on Doremi and one on Tetsuya
MASARU: For her first number this evening, Miss Harukaze Doremi would like to sing a song of love and devotion, dedicated to her occasionally platonic roommate, Kotake Tetsuya. (Under his breath) *Pfft* BOR-ING.
[Musical parody of "Funny Honey"]
DOREMI: (singing)
Sometimes I whine
Sometimes I pout
He doesn't mind
He'll hear me out
It's what he does
That bloomy roomie I've got
Sometimes I sprain
Sometimes I fall
He'll carry me
Like nothing at all
It's what he does
My bloomy roomie he's called
He ain't no bish
That voice grates like a fish
And lord knows he leaves the seat raised
But look at that soul
You know he'll stay gold
And that makes up for how
He'll never wash his face
And if you knew him like me
I know you'd agree
What if the world
Called me a witch?
Well, he'd kick their butts
Every scum, every snitch
It's what he does
And I shan't complain
That croon-y, looney, bloomy
Roommate I've gained!
TETSUYA: It's a good thing I came home in time when I did. Something could've happened to my roommate, know what I mean? Something?
COP: No, I don't know what you mean.
TETSUYA: Humph, mama's boy.
COP 2: Sir, we were able to identify the victim. "Igarashi" was the guy's name.
TETSUYA: "Igarashi"? You mean Captain of the soccer team Igarashi? Why, that's impossible! I see him every Saturday… the guy's been... mentoring me for a year... and all this time I've been covering for that Bowling-Ball Head murderer over there!?
DOREMI: (singing, getting increasingly mad)
Now he's blabbing away- buu, buu, BUU I say!
Look at him go- tattling on me
Why, with just one more inch,
What a BROOM-HEAD he'd be!!
TETSUYA: (ticked off) Boy she really played me for a fool! To think I'd be the one to take the blame!
DOREMI: (singing/screaming)
If they fry me alive
I know who'll bring rice cakes and tots
That gloomy, doom-y, BROOM-y
Roomie I've gooooot!!
[End of song]
COP 1: (to Tetsuya) So now you're saying you *didn't* ice the guy?
TETSUYA: (rapidly shaking his head) Of-of course not! It was all Dojimi's doing! I mean, sure, I guess now that Igarashi is dead I'll finally get promoted to captain of the team, and quite frankly, it seems weird that my room mate would have had anything to gain... from... killing... him.
Pause.
TETSUYA: (slaps forehead) ...baka.
COP 2: Hey chief, look at this.
The cop lifts one of the bed mattresses to reveal the magic wand.
COP 1: Okay, Bonnie and Clyde, we've heard all we needed to hear. You are BOTH under arrest for suspicion of murder using mahou!
TETSUYA: N-nani!?
Doremi and Tetsuya are cuffed and dragged out of the room, kicking and screaming ...that is they're kicking and screaming at each other.
DOREMI: Kotake! I'll make you pay for ratting on me!
TETSUYA: ME?? They'd better give you the guillotine for this, Dojimi! THE GUILLONTINE!!
[Fade out]
____________________________________
[To be continued.]
The cops are all over Doremi's room as well. KOTAKE TETSUYA- Doremi's meal ticket- ...er, I mean her roommate- is being interviewed for evidence. [Yeah. Roommate ...that is what I meant to say.]
TETSUYA: Like I was saying, officer, I showed up and stopped the intruder.
COP: You mean to tell me you killed this guy in self-defense?
TETSUYA: Yes-sir. I was rightfully protecting my home.
COP: ...by ripping his still beating heart right out of his rib cage...?
TETSUYA: ...er, yes?
Doremi stoops sullenly in the corner. She tries her best not to think about the terrible screw-up of hers and, absent-mindedly, begins eavesdropping on the chatter between Tetsuya and the cop.
DOREMI: (thinking) Na, waitaminute, Kotake-kun's actually doing something for me?
All lights in the room dim except one on Doremi and one on Tetsuya
MASARU: For her first number this evening, Miss Harukaze Doremi would like to sing a song of love and devotion, dedicated to her occasionally platonic roommate, Kotake Tetsuya. (Under his breath) *Pfft* BOR-ING.
[Musical parody of "Funny Honey"]
DOREMI: (singing)
Sometimes I whine
Sometimes I pout
He doesn't mind
He'll hear me out
It's what he does
That bloomy roomie I've got
Sometimes I sprain
Sometimes I fall
He'll carry me
Like nothing at all
It's what he does
My bloomy roomie he's called
He ain't no bish
That voice grates like a fish
And lord knows he leaves the seat raised
But look at that soul
You know he'll stay gold
And that makes up for how
He'll never wash his face
And if you knew him like me
I know you'd agree
What if the world
Called me a witch?
Well, he'd kick their butts
Every scum, every snitch
It's what he does
And I shan't complain
That croon-y, looney, bloomy
Roommate I've gained!
TETSUYA: It's a good thing I came home in time when I did. Something could've happened to my roommate, know what I mean? Something?
COP: No, I don't know what you mean.
TETSUYA: Humph, mama's boy.
COP 2: Sir, we were able to identify the victim. "Igarashi" was the guy's name.
TETSUYA: "Igarashi"? You mean Captain of the soccer team Igarashi? Why, that's impossible! I see him every Saturday… the guy's been... mentoring me for a year... and all this time I've been covering for that Bowling-Ball Head murderer over there!?
DOREMI: (singing, getting increasingly mad)
Now he's blabbing away- buu, buu, BUU I say!
Look at him go- tattling on me
Why, with just one more inch,
What a BROOM-HEAD he'd be!!
TETSUYA: (ticked off) Boy she really played me for a fool! To think I'd be the one to take the blame!
DOREMI: (singing/screaming)
If they fry me alive
I know who'll bring rice cakes and tots
That gloomy, doom-y, BROOM-y
Roomie I've gooooot!!
[End of song]
COP 1: (to Tetsuya) So now you're saying you *didn't* ice the guy?
TETSUYA: (rapidly shaking his head) Of-of course not! It was all Dojimi's doing! I mean, sure, I guess now that Igarashi is dead I'll finally get promoted to captain of the team, and quite frankly, it seems weird that my room mate would have had anything to gain... from... killing... him.
Pause.
TETSUYA: (slaps forehead) ...baka.
COP 2: Hey chief, look at this.
The cop lifts one of the bed mattresses to reveal the magic wand.
COP 1: Okay, Bonnie and Clyde, we've heard all we needed to hear. You are BOTH under arrest for suspicion of murder using mahou!
TETSUYA: N-nani!?
Doremi and Tetsuya are cuffed and dragged out of the room, kicking and screaming ...that is they're kicking and screaming at each other.
DOREMI: Kotake! I'll make you pay for ratting on me!
TETSUYA: ME?? They'd better give you the guillotine for this, Dojimi! THE GUILLONTINE!!
[Fade out]
____________________________________
[To be continued.]