Disclaimer: I think it's obvious I own nothing.
Sorry about the screw up with the chapters. I'm still figuring out how to use this site.
Chapter 2 5:00 AM the next morning.
Gandalf is underneath an offensively pink Eurovan trying to reattach the muffler.
"Oh my GOD!" said Aragorn in horror. "You don't expect us to ride in THAT, do you?!"
Gandalf rolled out. "Come on, it's not that bad. Anyway, it was this or Faramir and Eowyn's two-seater Honda."
"Did you actually just SAY what I thought you said? I mean *&%$#$# %#$&! It's PINK! Of course it's that bad!! Have you been smoking illegal substances??"
Gandalf looked around furtively. "Aragorn," he said in a stage whisper, "this fanfic is PG! You're not supposed to say anything about drugs!!"
Aragorn ignored him. "I REFUSE to ride in that thing! Couldn't we have taken Saruman's Limo?!"
"No, it's been impounded. You're being a bloody nuisance Aragorn, go make yourself useful and wake the others up."
Muttering darkly about the mental stability of Wizards, Aragorn made his way up to Legolas and Gimli's room.
* * * * * * * *
They weren't pleased to see him.
"Freaking #%&, Aragorn," groaned Legolas. "What time is it?" He tried to put his pillow over his head, but Aragorn took it away and threw it at Gimli's wall sized poster of Galadriel.
"It's 5:10. We're leaving in less than an hour. Why aren't you dressed yet??" He stalked across the room and pulled Gimli's blankets off his bed. "Wake up you pervy elf fancying dwarf."
Gimli and Legolas stared at each other blearily as Aragorn slammed out of the room.
"My, he's cheerful this morning," grumbled Gimli.
* * * * * * * *
Merry, Pippin, Frodo, and Sam got the same treatment, and soon they were up and more or less dressed, wandering around half asleep trying to pack and generally getting in each others way. Eventually they all made it down to where Gandalf was waiting impatiently.
"Where have you BEEN?!?!" he shouted, doing a little dance of rage. "It's 7:04, we should have LEFT by now!!"
No one paid him much attention. They were too busy being disgusted with the Eurovan.
"I've been blinded!!" screamed Merry, falling over and pretending to have a seizure.
"EEP!" said Frodo. "I thought Aragorn was exaggerating when he said you'd gone insane, but now I'm not so sure."
"Gandalf, where did you GET that thing?!?" asked Legolas.
"I found it in Denethor's private garage,"
"Hah!" muttered Pippin. "I KNEW he was gay!"
By now, Gandalf was very pissed. "WILL YOU STOP ACTING LIKE A BUNCH OF IMBECILIC ORCS!?!?!?!?!? GET IN THE *&%$#$#%$ CAR!!!
It is rather difficult to get four hobbits, an elf, a dwarf, a wizard, the king of Gondor, and their respective weapons and luggage-not to mention FOOD-into a eight seater Eurovan, but our heroes managed it in the end, with a great deal of glowering and menacing staff movements from Gandalf.
They were about to pull out when a harried looking female elf in a bathrobe came running into the court yard and waved at them to stop. "Arwen sent this for you," she said, pushing a large pile of clean underwear through the window onto Aragorn's lap. "She says to remember the paths of the dead."
"Huh?" said Aragorn blankly.
The elf banged her head against the door. "#&%* IT! I meant to say that if you not back in two weeks she'll send Elladan and Elrohir after you." She turned to Legolas.
"And YOU, if you're not back by then you'll hear about it from me. Stay out of the rain, no drinking, no night clubbing, and NO fangirls!" she disappeared back inside.
Frodo grinned evilly. "Who was THAT?"
Legolas turned bright red. "Uh, no one,"
His friends looked at him skeptically. He glowered. "You guys have dirty minds! Ninquie and I are just good friends."
"SURE you are," snickered Gimli, and then howled as Legolas jabbed him with an arrow.
"Quiet back there!" snapped Gandalf. He gunned the engine and the Fellowship roared out of Minas Tirith in a cloud of foul smelling exhaust.
********************************************************* To my reviewers: [Seven! Already! I feel loved!]
Lady Amakakeru: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.
lemluvspirates: Sure I'll put you in. It probably won't be until chapter 4 or 5 though.
Makiyo: I'm not sure you count, since you're my best friend, and since you know nothing about LOTR, but thanks anyway for reading it.
Anonymous counter person: I personally think the more humor stories, the better.
LegosGrl: Thank you.
Terra Nova: *Thanks*
elf from Rivendell: I'm psyched that you added my story to your favorites.
********************************************************* A/n: When I called Gimli a pervy elf fancier, I meant that he liked Galadriel. Legolas and Gimli aren't gay in this story. Frodo and Sam, I'm not so sure.*evil grin*
Can I have a little constructive criticism please? I'm glad people like this fanfic, but that doesn't tell me what I need to improve.
More Later
Sorry about the screw up with the chapters. I'm still figuring out how to use this site.
Chapter 2 5:00 AM the next morning.
Gandalf is underneath an offensively pink Eurovan trying to reattach the muffler.
"Oh my GOD!" said Aragorn in horror. "You don't expect us to ride in THAT, do you?!"
Gandalf rolled out. "Come on, it's not that bad. Anyway, it was this or Faramir and Eowyn's two-seater Honda."
"Did you actually just SAY what I thought you said? I mean *&%$#$# %#$&! It's PINK! Of course it's that bad!! Have you been smoking illegal substances??"
Gandalf looked around furtively. "Aragorn," he said in a stage whisper, "this fanfic is PG! You're not supposed to say anything about drugs!!"
Aragorn ignored him. "I REFUSE to ride in that thing! Couldn't we have taken Saruman's Limo?!"
"No, it's been impounded. You're being a bloody nuisance Aragorn, go make yourself useful and wake the others up."
Muttering darkly about the mental stability of Wizards, Aragorn made his way up to Legolas and Gimli's room.
* * * * * * * *
They weren't pleased to see him.
"Freaking #%&, Aragorn," groaned Legolas. "What time is it?" He tried to put his pillow over his head, but Aragorn took it away and threw it at Gimli's wall sized poster of Galadriel.
"It's 5:10. We're leaving in less than an hour. Why aren't you dressed yet??" He stalked across the room and pulled Gimli's blankets off his bed. "Wake up you pervy elf fancying dwarf."
Gimli and Legolas stared at each other blearily as Aragorn slammed out of the room.
"My, he's cheerful this morning," grumbled Gimli.
* * * * * * * *
Merry, Pippin, Frodo, and Sam got the same treatment, and soon they were up and more or less dressed, wandering around half asleep trying to pack and generally getting in each others way. Eventually they all made it down to where Gandalf was waiting impatiently.
"Where have you BEEN?!?!" he shouted, doing a little dance of rage. "It's 7:04, we should have LEFT by now!!"
No one paid him much attention. They were too busy being disgusted with the Eurovan.
"I've been blinded!!" screamed Merry, falling over and pretending to have a seizure.
"EEP!" said Frodo. "I thought Aragorn was exaggerating when he said you'd gone insane, but now I'm not so sure."
"Gandalf, where did you GET that thing?!?" asked Legolas.
"I found it in Denethor's private garage,"
"Hah!" muttered Pippin. "I KNEW he was gay!"
By now, Gandalf was very pissed. "WILL YOU STOP ACTING LIKE A BUNCH OF IMBECILIC ORCS!?!?!?!?!? GET IN THE *&%$#$#%$ CAR!!!
It is rather difficult to get four hobbits, an elf, a dwarf, a wizard, the king of Gondor, and their respective weapons and luggage-not to mention FOOD-into a eight seater Eurovan, but our heroes managed it in the end, with a great deal of glowering and menacing staff movements from Gandalf.
They were about to pull out when a harried looking female elf in a bathrobe came running into the court yard and waved at them to stop. "Arwen sent this for you," she said, pushing a large pile of clean underwear through the window onto Aragorn's lap. "She says to remember the paths of the dead."
"Huh?" said Aragorn blankly.
The elf banged her head against the door. "#&%* IT! I meant to say that if you not back in two weeks she'll send Elladan and Elrohir after you." She turned to Legolas.
"And YOU, if you're not back by then you'll hear about it from me. Stay out of the rain, no drinking, no night clubbing, and NO fangirls!" she disappeared back inside.
Frodo grinned evilly. "Who was THAT?"
Legolas turned bright red. "Uh, no one,"
His friends looked at him skeptically. He glowered. "You guys have dirty minds! Ninquie and I are just good friends."
"SURE you are," snickered Gimli, and then howled as Legolas jabbed him with an arrow.
"Quiet back there!" snapped Gandalf. He gunned the engine and the Fellowship roared out of Minas Tirith in a cloud of foul smelling exhaust.
********************************************************* To my reviewers: [Seven! Already! I feel loved!]
Lady Amakakeru: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.
lemluvspirates: Sure I'll put you in. It probably won't be until chapter 4 or 5 though.
Makiyo: I'm not sure you count, since you're my best friend, and since you know nothing about LOTR, but thanks anyway for reading it.
Anonymous counter person: I personally think the more humor stories, the better.
LegosGrl: Thank you.
Terra Nova: *Thanks*
elf from Rivendell: I'm psyched that you added my story to your favorites.
********************************************************* A/n: When I called Gimli a pervy elf fancier, I meant that he liked Galadriel. Legolas and Gimli aren't gay in this story. Frodo and Sam, I'm not so sure.*evil grin*
Can I have a little constructive criticism please? I'm glad people like this fanfic, but that doesn't tell me what I need to improve.
More Later