Disclaimer: I don't own LOTR. Or Washington. I DO own the Eurovan. *ALL
MINE, MY PRECIOUSSSS!!* ahem!
A/n: If you're from Australia or something, and don't know where all these places in the U.S. are, I'm sorry. Just work with me here.
P.S. The Washington in this chapter is Washington STATE!!! NOT Washington D.C. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *sorry* got a bit carried away there!
Chapter 3:
A dark and stormy night, somewhere in northern Washington. The fellowship is driving through incessant rain, with Gandalf behind the wheel.
"Thirty-eight pints of beer on the wall, thirty eight pints of beer! sang Pippin.
"It's been raining for hours!" moaned Frodo. "When will it stop??"
"I have to use the bathroom!" yelled Sam.
"Can we stop at a motel or something??" whined Gimli. "I get insomnia when I try to sleep surrounded by hobbits."
"So you had insomnia all through the second half of The Fellowship of the Ring?" asked Aragorn.
"Well, yeah."
Frodo poked Sam and whispered, "So that's why we thought he was PMSing!"
"We can't stop until we cross the Oregon border," said Gandalf. "And in case you've forgotten, this is Washington. It rains non stop from October to March, except for like two pitiful weeks in January when it snows."
"Thirty three pints of beer on the wall!" sang Pippin.
"I have a head ache," muttered Legolas, massaging his temples.
"I'm hungry!" wailed Merry.
"How can you be hungry," asked Aragorn. "You had four cheeseburgers not two hours ago."
Merry looked offended. "I'm a hobbit! I need to-"
"Eat constantly! We know, we know!"
"Take one down, pass it around-" sang Pippin.
"Pippin, if you don't SHUT UP I will TAKE this arrow and STICK it up your *#$!!!" screamed Legolas.
"IF YOU GUYS WON'T CLOSE YOUR FREAKING MOUTHS," shouted Gandalf, swerving wildly, "I WILL TURN YOU ALL INTO GOLLUM CLONES, JUST WATCH ME!!!"
Everyone shut up. There was silence for a while, then suddenly, the engine stopped.
"Oh *&%$%*# %*&%!" growled Gandalf.
"I'm not going out in that rain!" said Aragorn.
"We're all gonna DIE!" squealed Pippin.
"SHUT UP!" yelled everyone else.
"Okay," said Gandalf. "Let's look at this logically. Why did the Eurovan suddenly stall?"
Legolas rolled his eyes. "Uh, let's see, maybe because THIS CAR IS A PIECE OF CRAP!!"
"Quiet!" hissed Frodo, pointing to the sickly greenish glow that had just appeared on the road in front of them.
Gandalf sniffed. "I smell ectoplasm."
"That's because it's a ghost stupid!"
The green glow moved closer, and closer, gradually resolving itself into a human shape.
Suddenly Merry realized who it was. "OH MY GOD!" he screamed. "IT'S THE GHOST OF BOROMIR!!"
"Um, hi dudes," said Boromir.
"What are you doing here??" asked Gandalf.
Boromir shrugged. "I just wander around at night stopping people's engines and freaking them out."
"Wait! Wait a second!" said Aragorn. "You're dead, right?"
"Like, duh," said Boromir
"You got shot by orcs, and died, and then Legolas, Gimli, and I sent you over the falls of Rauros in a boat."
"Yup,"
"But since the boat was all magic and made by Galadriel and stuff, it didn't get smashed to pieces, but instead floated down the Anduin and into the sea. Is that correct?"
"Uh huh,"
"And now your haunting Interstate Five?!?!?! THIS MAKES NO SENSE!!"
Boromir rolled his eyes. "Dude, haven't you noticed yet? This entire fanfic makes no sense! Can I get in the car?"
"Umm, I guess so,"
"DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR! WE'LL GET DRENCHED!!!" screamed Merry and Pippin.
"No problem, dudes," said Boromir. He drifted through the side of the Eurovan and hovered near the ceiling above Sam's head. Unfortunately, he didn't know how to make the car start again, so Gandalf had to go out in the rain and whack the hood several times with his staff to make the engine go back on.
"That's it!" he growled, when he crawled back in soaking wet. "We're stopping at a Motel 6 in Seattle!"
************************************************************************
To my reviewers:
BoromirDefender: Thanks for reading my story! I'll try to be more descriptive.
elf from Rivendell: Thanks. I already put you in. You're the elf lady in Ch. 2.
LegosGrl: Yes, I'm going to put fangirls in.
Galadriel_in_disguise: I don't know why I'm answering the review I did on myself.
Tarock: I predict a huge wave of Fellowship-in-the-modern-world stories written by people who are sick of girl(s)-fall-into-middle-earth stories.
lemluvspirates: Thanks for alerting me. I fixed it.
hyper_active_electrocuted_elf: Ha ha! Cool name Sophie, purple oysters yourself!!
Anya Wood: *ThAnK yOu*
*&%#: YAY! You get the record for shortest review so far! HAPPY! (No insult intended)
A/n#2: In case you haven't noticed, I'm kind of hyper right now!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH! *cough* *snort* *gasp* BYE!!!
REVIEW OR LEGOLAS WILL STICK AN ARROW UP YOUR *#$!
Just kidding.
More later
A/n: If you're from Australia or something, and don't know where all these places in the U.S. are, I'm sorry. Just work with me here.
P.S. The Washington in this chapter is Washington STATE!!! NOT Washington D.C. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *sorry* got a bit carried away there!
Chapter 3:
A dark and stormy night, somewhere in northern Washington. The fellowship is driving through incessant rain, with Gandalf behind the wheel.
"Thirty-eight pints of beer on the wall, thirty eight pints of beer! sang Pippin.
"It's been raining for hours!" moaned Frodo. "When will it stop??"
"I have to use the bathroom!" yelled Sam.
"Can we stop at a motel or something??" whined Gimli. "I get insomnia when I try to sleep surrounded by hobbits."
"So you had insomnia all through the second half of The Fellowship of the Ring?" asked Aragorn.
"Well, yeah."
Frodo poked Sam and whispered, "So that's why we thought he was PMSing!"
"We can't stop until we cross the Oregon border," said Gandalf. "And in case you've forgotten, this is Washington. It rains non stop from October to March, except for like two pitiful weeks in January when it snows."
"Thirty three pints of beer on the wall!" sang Pippin.
"I have a head ache," muttered Legolas, massaging his temples.
"I'm hungry!" wailed Merry.
"How can you be hungry," asked Aragorn. "You had four cheeseburgers not two hours ago."
Merry looked offended. "I'm a hobbit! I need to-"
"Eat constantly! We know, we know!"
"Take one down, pass it around-" sang Pippin.
"Pippin, if you don't SHUT UP I will TAKE this arrow and STICK it up your *#$!!!" screamed Legolas.
"IF YOU GUYS WON'T CLOSE YOUR FREAKING MOUTHS," shouted Gandalf, swerving wildly, "I WILL TURN YOU ALL INTO GOLLUM CLONES, JUST WATCH ME!!!"
Everyone shut up. There was silence for a while, then suddenly, the engine stopped.
"Oh *&%$%*# %*&%!" growled Gandalf.
"I'm not going out in that rain!" said Aragorn.
"We're all gonna DIE!" squealed Pippin.
"SHUT UP!" yelled everyone else.
"Okay," said Gandalf. "Let's look at this logically. Why did the Eurovan suddenly stall?"
Legolas rolled his eyes. "Uh, let's see, maybe because THIS CAR IS A PIECE OF CRAP!!"
"Quiet!" hissed Frodo, pointing to the sickly greenish glow that had just appeared on the road in front of them.
Gandalf sniffed. "I smell ectoplasm."
"That's because it's a ghost stupid!"
The green glow moved closer, and closer, gradually resolving itself into a human shape.
Suddenly Merry realized who it was. "OH MY GOD!" he screamed. "IT'S THE GHOST OF BOROMIR!!"
"Um, hi dudes," said Boromir.
"What are you doing here??" asked Gandalf.
Boromir shrugged. "I just wander around at night stopping people's engines and freaking them out."
"Wait! Wait a second!" said Aragorn. "You're dead, right?"
"Like, duh," said Boromir
"You got shot by orcs, and died, and then Legolas, Gimli, and I sent you over the falls of Rauros in a boat."
"Yup,"
"But since the boat was all magic and made by Galadriel and stuff, it didn't get smashed to pieces, but instead floated down the Anduin and into the sea. Is that correct?"
"Uh huh,"
"And now your haunting Interstate Five?!?!?! THIS MAKES NO SENSE!!"
Boromir rolled his eyes. "Dude, haven't you noticed yet? This entire fanfic makes no sense! Can I get in the car?"
"Umm, I guess so,"
"DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR! WE'LL GET DRENCHED!!!" screamed Merry and Pippin.
"No problem, dudes," said Boromir. He drifted through the side of the Eurovan and hovered near the ceiling above Sam's head. Unfortunately, he didn't know how to make the car start again, so Gandalf had to go out in the rain and whack the hood several times with his staff to make the engine go back on.
"That's it!" he growled, when he crawled back in soaking wet. "We're stopping at a Motel 6 in Seattle!"
************************************************************************
To my reviewers:
BoromirDefender: Thanks for reading my story! I'll try to be more descriptive.
elf from Rivendell: Thanks. I already put you in. You're the elf lady in Ch. 2.
LegosGrl: Yes, I'm going to put fangirls in.
Galadriel_in_disguise: I don't know why I'm answering the review I did on myself.
Tarock: I predict a huge wave of Fellowship-in-the-modern-world stories written by people who are sick of girl(s)-fall-into-middle-earth stories.
lemluvspirates: Thanks for alerting me. I fixed it.
hyper_active_electrocuted_elf: Ha ha! Cool name Sophie, purple oysters yourself!!
Anya Wood: *ThAnK yOu*
*&%#: YAY! You get the record for shortest review so far! HAPPY! (No insult intended)
A/n#2: In case you haven't noticed, I'm kind of hyper right now!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH! *cough* *snort* *gasp* BYE!!!
REVIEW OR LEGOLAS WILL STICK AN ARROW UP YOUR *#$!
Just kidding.
More later