Disclaimer: I still don't own LOTR. I've contacted Christopher Tolkien
about purchasing Aragorn, but he won't sell.
A/n: This will probably be the last chapter for a few weeks, because my teachers have been slacking off for the past two months, and now their totally overdoing the homework trying to make up for lost time.
Chapter 4:
Somewhere around midnight in the parking lot of a dingy looking motel just outside of Seattle. Still pouring rain. The Fellowship is huddled inside their Eurovan wondering if it's worth it to get out.
Gimli looked apprehensively out his window. "This parking lot is completely flooded!"
"Dude," said Boromir. "There's like no space between the raindrops!"
"Why do you care?" grumbled Legolas. "You don't have to breathe!"
"You guys are such wusses!" growled Gandalf. "Make up your freaking minds. Fifteen minutes ago, you were all yelling about how you were going to lynch me if I didn't stop."
"Um, correction," said Pippin, "You're the one who wanted to go to a motel in the first place."
"Actually, it was Gimli," said Sam helpfully.
"GAHHHH! I don't have TIME for this!" shouted Aragorn, and before anyone could stop him, he had yanked open the door and was sprinting through the downpour toward the motel. A huge gust of wind blew about five hundred gallons of water into the Eurovan completely soaking the Fellowship, and their luggage. Muttering curses in several languages, they grabbed their bags and ran after the disappearing King of Gondor.
* * * * * * * *
Once inside the motel, they collapsed in a bedraggled heap on the welcome mat. The desk clerk looked disapprovingly at them and the twenty or so liters of water they were shedding onto his ugly grey carpet before returning to his argument with Aragorn.
"We haven't any vacancies, and that's final!" he said stiffly.
"What do you mean no vacancies!?" shouted Aragorn, fingering his sword hilt suggestively. He was, like everyone else, completely drenched and madder than a wet orc. "Your SIGN says you have vacancies!!"
"Oh, th-that," the clerk stammered, eyeing Aragorn's sword nervously. "Umm, no one wanted to go out in the rain to change the sign. Heh heh."
"I can't blame you," muttered Gandalf, wringing out his beard.
Aragorn pulled out Anduril. The clerk turned the color of badly mixed cement. "Wait," he squeaked, "I-I just remembered, we DO have an empty rooms, up the stairs, to the left. And I don't think the management would mind terribly if I disregarded their no tolerance policies about hobbits," he threw the keys at Aragorn and dived under his desk.
"Wuss!" muttered Gimli.
"Couldn't you have gotten a room downstairs?" asked Legolas, "That staircase seems ready to collapse at any moment!"
"Just let it go, dude" said Boromir.
"Easy for you to say!" said Sam. "You're weightless!"
"Hey! It's not my fault you need a diet!"
"SHUT UP!" roared Gandalf. "We have determined that Boromir is insubstantial! Now get your sorry #$$*% up the stairs before I do something violent! Unlike SOME of you, I have had no sleep for the past nineteen hours, so DON"T PUSH IT!" He grabbed his suitcase and stomped up the stairs, making them creak ominously.
"We'd better step lightly around him for a while," said Aragorn in a subdued voice. "I haven't seen him this mad since Elrond stole his Teddy Bear."
Just then, a nest of spiders fell off the ceiling, making everyone scream like girls, and high tail it after Gandalf.
* * * * * * * *
"45, 46, 47, 48, here it is!" Gandalf opened the door and peered into room 49. It was painted a shade of blue the more or less exactly failed to please the eye, and had cobwebs in all the corners.
"I can't believe he gave NINE people one room!" grumbled Legolas.
"Maybe he was telling the truth about this being the only empty one." said Frodo, noticing the large DO NOT DISTURB and TRESSPASSERS WILL BE CAUGHT AND SHOT signs on the other doors.
"Just get inside!" snapped Gandalf. He herded them in and slammed the door.
"DIBS!" squealed Merry and Pippin, running to the bed and jumping up and down on it.
"NOOOOOOOO" shouted everyone else.
"Stupid fat hobbits!" yelled Gimli. "You've gone and gotten your germs all over where I have to sleep!"
"Where YOU have to sleep?!" asked Aragorn incredulously. "I'M the king of Gondor! I should get the bed!"
Legolas kicked Aragorn. "I'm the Prince of northern Mirkwood! I should think I have just as much right as you!"
Sam pulled out his frying pan. "Back you devils! That bed belongs to Mr. Frodo!"
"ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!" screamed Gandalf. He pointed his staff at the bed and it exploded, throwing Merry and Pippin across the room and knocking everyone over. "YOU CAN ALL SLEEP ON THE *&%$#&% FLOOR GOD &%$# IT!!" That said, he flopped down and began to snore loudly.
"Meep!" said Boromir shakily.
"My sentiments exactly," muttered Frodo.
************************************************************************ A/n: I'm sorry if this chapter is a little weird. I had to write it at the same time as my debate speech and my brain is kind of scrambled.
To my reviewers:
elf from Rivendell: I don't know. If I do put you in again it won't be for a while because they've only been gone for like a day.
Mornie Utule: It's kind of scary picturing four hobbits and an all you can eat buffet within a ten mile radius of each other.
Anya Wood: Thanks for reviewing again.
happy molecule: Cool name!
lemluvspirates: The scary thing is, I didn't plan that Boromir would stop cars. It just kind of sprouted that way when I was typing.
More, after I finish the three essays I have due next week.
A/n: This will probably be the last chapter for a few weeks, because my teachers have been slacking off for the past two months, and now their totally overdoing the homework trying to make up for lost time.
Chapter 4:
Somewhere around midnight in the parking lot of a dingy looking motel just outside of Seattle. Still pouring rain. The Fellowship is huddled inside their Eurovan wondering if it's worth it to get out.
Gimli looked apprehensively out his window. "This parking lot is completely flooded!"
"Dude," said Boromir. "There's like no space between the raindrops!"
"Why do you care?" grumbled Legolas. "You don't have to breathe!"
"You guys are such wusses!" growled Gandalf. "Make up your freaking minds. Fifteen minutes ago, you were all yelling about how you were going to lynch me if I didn't stop."
"Um, correction," said Pippin, "You're the one who wanted to go to a motel in the first place."
"Actually, it was Gimli," said Sam helpfully.
"GAHHHH! I don't have TIME for this!" shouted Aragorn, and before anyone could stop him, he had yanked open the door and was sprinting through the downpour toward the motel. A huge gust of wind blew about five hundred gallons of water into the Eurovan completely soaking the Fellowship, and their luggage. Muttering curses in several languages, they grabbed their bags and ran after the disappearing King of Gondor.
* * * * * * * *
Once inside the motel, they collapsed in a bedraggled heap on the welcome mat. The desk clerk looked disapprovingly at them and the twenty or so liters of water they were shedding onto his ugly grey carpet before returning to his argument with Aragorn.
"We haven't any vacancies, and that's final!" he said stiffly.
"What do you mean no vacancies!?" shouted Aragorn, fingering his sword hilt suggestively. He was, like everyone else, completely drenched and madder than a wet orc. "Your SIGN says you have vacancies!!"
"Oh, th-that," the clerk stammered, eyeing Aragorn's sword nervously. "Umm, no one wanted to go out in the rain to change the sign. Heh heh."
"I can't blame you," muttered Gandalf, wringing out his beard.
Aragorn pulled out Anduril. The clerk turned the color of badly mixed cement. "Wait," he squeaked, "I-I just remembered, we DO have an empty rooms, up the stairs, to the left. And I don't think the management would mind terribly if I disregarded their no tolerance policies about hobbits," he threw the keys at Aragorn and dived under his desk.
"Wuss!" muttered Gimli.
"Couldn't you have gotten a room downstairs?" asked Legolas, "That staircase seems ready to collapse at any moment!"
"Just let it go, dude" said Boromir.
"Easy for you to say!" said Sam. "You're weightless!"
"Hey! It's not my fault you need a diet!"
"SHUT UP!" roared Gandalf. "We have determined that Boromir is insubstantial! Now get your sorry #$$*% up the stairs before I do something violent! Unlike SOME of you, I have had no sleep for the past nineteen hours, so DON"T PUSH IT!" He grabbed his suitcase and stomped up the stairs, making them creak ominously.
"We'd better step lightly around him for a while," said Aragorn in a subdued voice. "I haven't seen him this mad since Elrond stole his Teddy Bear."
Just then, a nest of spiders fell off the ceiling, making everyone scream like girls, and high tail it after Gandalf.
* * * * * * * *
"45, 46, 47, 48, here it is!" Gandalf opened the door and peered into room 49. It was painted a shade of blue the more or less exactly failed to please the eye, and had cobwebs in all the corners.
"I can't believe he gave NINE people one room!" grumbled Legolas.
"Maybe he was telling the truth about this being the only empty one." said Frodo, noticing the large DO NOT DISTURB and TRESSPASSERS WILL BE CAUGHT AND SHOT signs on the other doors.
"Just get inside!" snapped Gandalf. He herded them in and slammed the door.
"DIBS!" squealed Merry and Pippin, running to the bed and jumping up and down on it.
"NOOOOOOOO" shouted everyone else.
"Stupid fat hobbits!" yelled Gimli. "You've gone and gotten your germs all over where I have to sleep!"
"Where YOU have to sleep?!" asked Aragorn incredulously. "I'M the king of Gondor! I should get the bed!"
Legolas kicked Aragorn. "I'm the Prince of northern Mirkwood! I should think I have just as much right as you!"
Sam pulled out his frying pan. "Back you devils! That bed belongs to Mr. Frodo!"
"ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!" screamed Gandalf. He pointed his staff at the bed and it exploded, throwing Merry and Pippin across the room and knocking everyone over. "YOU CAN ALL SLEEP ON THE *&%$#&% FLOOR GOD &%$# IT!!" That said, he flopped down and began to snore loudly.
"Meep!" said Boromir shakily.
"My sentiments exactly," muttered Frodo.
************************************************************************ A/n: I'm sorry if this chapter is a little weird. I had to write it at the same time as my debate speech and my brain is kind of scrambled.
To my reviewers:
elf from Rivendell: I don't know. If I do put you in again it won't be for a while because they've only been gone for like a day.
Mornie Utule: It's kind of scary picturing four hobbits and an all you can eat buffet within a ten mile radius of each other.
Anya Wood: Thanks for reviewing again.
happy molecule: Cool name!
lemluvspirates: The scary thing is, I didn't plan that Boromir would stop cars. It just kind of sprouted that way when I was typing.
More, after I finish the three essays I have due next week.