Disclaimer: I bear Peter Jackson no particular ill will. Well, not much.
Overlooked characters however...
A/n: I'm pissed of at P.J. for leaving Halbarad, the Rangers, and Elladan & Elrohir out of ROTK, so I added this into my story. I would have posted it earlier, but fanfiction.net banned another story I wrote, and so I wasn't allowed to upload for a while. What I find particularly obnoxious, is the fact that they wouldn't tell me WHY they banned it...
P.S. Please read my other fic if you haven't already.
Chapter 8:
9:23 PM, five hours after escaping the fangirls. Aragorn is driving down some random road about twenty miles from San Francisco. Everyone is conscious again, but the only happy person is Pippin, who found five bags of marshmallows in Frodo's duffle and ate them ALL...
"I feel PRETTYYYYY! Oh so PRETTYYYY! I feel PRETTYYY and WITTYYY and-"
"Shut the hell up Pippin!" yelled Legolas. "I've been knocked unconscious TWICE in the past day, and my head feels like it's been stuck trampled by Oliphaunts!!"
"You think you've got it bad?" roared Gandalf. "I got hit with a *&%#$&% 120 pound gas tank! There is a lump on my head the size of a *&%#$%& Volkswagen!!"
"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" shrieked Pippin, jumping up and down on the seat.
"I see string beans," mumbled Frodo, who was still in shock from the fangirl attack.
"I think we should all CALM down. CALM!" said Aragorn. "I will now play some relaxing music," he put on the Sound of Music soundtrack.
"The hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiils are aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive, with the sound of muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusic! With songs they have suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuung, for a thousssssssand yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeears!" came blasting out of the stereo at full volume.
Everyone screamed and covered their ears.
"Oops...wrong CD," Aragorn threw The Sound of Music out the window and put on Oops!...I Did it Again! by Britney Spears.
"Oops! I did it again! I play with your heart! Got lost in the game!"
Everyone fell of their seats and started seizuring.
"My ears are bleeding!" moaned Merry.
"MY BRAIN IS MELTING!" shouted Legolas. "I'M GETTING SPLIT ENDS!!!"
"Ahhhhh! Cheese puff! CHEESE PUFF!" squealed the still mentally unbalanced Frodo.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Gimli, and threw his ax at the stereo.
The resulting explosion vaporized Gimli's ax, the stereo, a bag of hapless gummy bears, and burned Aragorn's eyebrows completely off. The Britney Spears CD was unharmed.
"Aragorn! What the HELL was that?!?!" demanded Legolas. His temper wasn't improved by the fact that he had accidentally stuck his head into Sam's Happy Meal, and his hair had acquired large amounts of ketchup and pickle fragments.
"Yah!" said Merry, trying to staunch his nose bleed. "Are you trying to kill us or something?"
"No! I just like Britney Spears, that's all!" said Aragorn defensively.
Frodo snorted. "And people accuse ME of being gay!"
"Hey! I thought you were catatonic!" said Gimli.
"Oh yeah..." Frodo fell over and started drooling.
Meanwhile, Legolas was still yelling at Aragorn.
"LOOK at my hair! I can't even WASH it because that IDIOT Pippin ate my shampoo..."
Pippin looked up from flicking cookie crumbs at Sam. "I liked the way it smelled!"
"Gahhhhhh!"
"Look, at least you HAVE hair!" snapped Aragorn. "I no longer have eyebrows!!!"
"I can fix that," said Gandalf, and whacked Aragon between the eyes with his staff.
"Owww! What the hell Gandalf!" Aragorn felt his forehead gingerly. "Hey! My eyebrows are back!"
Legolas took one look at him and burst out laughing.
Aragorn glared at him. "What?"
"They...They...They're GREEN!" gasped Legolas. "You've got green eyebrows dude!!"
Aragorn craned his neck to look in the rear view mirror. "HOLY *#&%, I DO!!!! Gandalf!?!?"
The wizard shifted uncomfortably. "Just a side affect. It should wear off in a few weeks."
"WEEKS?!? That's IT!!" Aragorn let go of the wheel and lunged at Gandalf, who dodged him by leaping over the seat onto Merry and Pippin, who squealed loudly and bit him. Aragorn landed on his face in the passenger seat, and the Eurovan shot off the road, skidded down the bank, spun around, and came to rest in a ditch.
"Oh *&$^!" said Boromir. "Now look what you freaks have done!"
Legolas got out of the car and peered up and down the empty highway. "We'll just have to wait until someone comes along who can help us pull it out."
"Wait!" said Gimli. "Can't Aragorn call a tow-truck on his cell phone?"
Aragorn shook his head. "No I can't."
"Why not?"
"Pippin ate it."
"WHAT!?!?!?!?!" screamed everyone else.
"Just kidding," laughed Aragorn. "The battery's dead."
"That was soooooooo not funny, Strider!" muttered Pippin.
* * * * * * * *
Nine hours later. It is now well after six in the morning.
"It's hopeless!" sighed Legolas. "Nobody's come, and no ones going to come."
"We're going to be stranded here forever!!" wailed Merry.
"We're all gonna DIE!" squeaked Pippin.
"Shut it you idiots!" snapped Gandalf. "We're only fifteen miles from San Francisco! We can WALK back if we have to!"
"Fifteen miles is a LONG way!!" whined Pippin.
Legolas kicked him. "You walked all the way from Bree to Amon Hen! That's like a HUNDRED miles!"
"But I'm HUNGRY!"
"I think we should kill Frodo," said Merry. "Then we can eat him."
"EW! Your really sick Merry, you know that?"
"AHHH! It was a joke! It was a joke! HELP!!" yelled Merry, who was being whacked repeatedly over the head by Sam.
"Wait!" said Legolas. "There IS someone coming!"
Aragorn looked. "Nuh-uh! I can't see anything!"
"That's 'cause you're a mortal with stunted eyesight! I've got super-duper elfie vision, so HAH!"
Aragorn threw his potato chips at Legolas. "Well, at least I don't have hissy fits when I lose my shampoo!"
"Because you don't have shampoo at ALL! If you've washed you're hair in the past week, then I'm a dwarf!"
"Stop acting like four year olds!" bellowed Gandalf. "If we want help, we're going to have to attract these people's attention!"
"Huh?" said Aragorn and Legolas.
"We're seven yards down a bank in a ditch! We may not be visible from the road!"
"FYI, Gandalf!" said Aragorn irritably. "We're also bright pink! It's not like we're hard to miss!"
"I'm not taking any chances!" growled Gandalf. "Do you want to spend another nine hours down here?"
"Fine! Fine! What's your freaking plan?"
Gandalf grinned evilly. "I think Aragorn and Legolas should go up on the road and start doing cheerleader impersonations. That's bound to attract attention."
"Well, DUH!" said Legolas disgustedly. "They'll call the frigging mental hospital!"
Gandalf shrugged. "At least we'll get out of the ditch."
* * * * * * * *
Five minutes later: Aragorn and Legolas have somehow found cheerleader uniforms that are only slightly too small for them, and are now standing grumpily on the road, thinking of ways to get revenge on Gandalf.
"We could dye his robes yellow!" muttered Aragorn. "Or better yet, GREEN!"
"He'd just bleach 'em," replied Legolas. "We have to think of something REALLY painful..."
"The car is approaching!" called Gandalf. "I want to see some moves!"
Aragorn and Legolas groaned, and started doing halfhearted kicks and waving their pompoms unenthusiastically.
The 'car' in question was actually more of a bus. It was bright purple, with chipped paint, and obviously hadn't been washed for some years. It had "Rangers Rule!!!" painted on the side in large black letters, a "Not all those who wander are lost" bumper sticker, and another one that said "Dwarves suck".
The bus came barreling down the highway and slammed on the brakes right in front of Legolas and Aragorn. There was a pause, then an elf stuck his head out the window and stared at them in shock.
"Aragorn? Legolas?! What the *&$%#*% hell are you doing out on highway 1 at six in the morning in cheerleader outfits? Have you taken up being manwhores or something?!?!"
Aragorn gulped. "Um...Hi Elladan."
Elrohir stuck his head out the other window. "What's up bro? Hey, why'd you dye you're eyebrows green?"
"It's Gandalf's fault," said Aragorn.
"What?" asked Elladan. "The eyebrows or the cheerleader duds?"
"Both. You see, my eyebrows got blasted off when Gimli blew up the stereo, and when Gandalf tried to put them back on, they came out green. Then our Eurovan got driven off the road and down the bank-"
"That was YOUR fault!" interrupted Legolas.
"It was NOT!"
"You were driving!"
"That proves nothing! So anyway, we waited for nine hours for someone to drive by, but no one came. Then Legolas saw your car...um...bus, and Gandalf made us dress up like cheerleaders and block the road so you'd be sure to stop."
Elladan and Elrohir blinked stupidly at them, while Halbarad, who was in the middle of the front seat, made faces at them through the windshield.
"It sounds like you've had an...eventful road trip so far," said Elrohir after a moment.
"That's one of the biggest understatements I've ever heard," said Legolas emphatically. "It's right up there with 'Celeborn is brain dead' or 'Gollum has issues.'"
"But enough about US," said Aragorn. "What are YOU doing on highway 1 at six in the morning?"
Elladan grinned and cracked his knuckles. "We're going to get revenge on that bastard Peter Jackson!"
"Who's Peter Jackson?" asked Legolas.
"The director," said Elrohir aggrievedly. "You know, the one who LEFT US OUT OF THE MOVIE!!"
"Oh him," said Aragorn. "You do know that he lives in New Zealand don't you?"
"Of course. We would have come through there, but everyone else was doing that, and it was rather crowded."
"Everyone else?"
"Everyone else that got left out of the movie. Like Beregond, Saruman, Grima, Ioreth, Imrahil, about a hundred random hobbits..."
"Okay, okay, we get the picture. Would you guys mind helping us pull our Eurovan out of the ditch?"
"Sure," said Elrohir. "Come on lads!"
Thirty rangers jumped out of the bus windows and started doing the song and dance routine for "Men in Tights."
"We're men! (Manly men!) We're men in tights! We roam around Eriador looking for fights..."
"Oh my god! SHUT UP!" yelled Elladan. "Will you stop doing that?!?! That got us kicked out of that McDonalds in Tulsa, if you'll remember! Just pull Estel's freaking van back onto the road!"
The rangers made everyone take all their luggage out of the Eurovan before attaching ropes to it and dragging it slowly up the bank with lots of macho grunts and snorting.
"How are you going to get to New Zealand?" asked Gandalf.
Halbarad, Elladan, and Elrohir gave identical evil grins. "We're going on the paths...of the DEADHEADS!! Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!"
"The paths of the deadheads??" said Gimli incredulously.
"Yah," said Halbarad. "They're under Golden Gate Park. The other end comes out in a sewer in Wellington."
"Do you dudes want to come?" asked Elrohir. "The more guys with sharp, pointy weapons the better, I say..."
"Sure!" said Aragorn. Then he thought of something. "Have they got fangirls in Wellington?"
"I don't know," said Elladan. "Probably."
Aragorn sighed. "Well, at least I've got five bottles of Cheese-Whiz left."
Elladan and Elrohir exchanged blank looks. *******************************************************************
A/n: If you're worried, rest assured that nothing bad actually happens to Peter Jackson. Well, nothing REALLY bad. Next chapter: The paths of the deadheads! (Jerry Garcia gives me seizures)
To my (wonderful!) reviewers: (Seventy-SIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
happy molecule: Yah, Aragorn totally rocks. And Pippin and Elrond, but not as much as Aragorn. I don't think it's possible to be cooler than Aragorn. (Yah, I'm obsessed) And yes, Arnold is crazy. He's also my governor. *gag*
Burn the R.U.M.: Are you a Pippin obsessor? My friend electrocuted-elf is too. You should read her fic. It's brilliant.
totallyObsessedwithLOTR: You love Aragorn AND Legolas? I just love Aragorn, but I guess Legolas is hot. (My friend Kiki-chan loves him)
Cecilia Gray: Thanks. I LOVE reviews. I love positive reviews more. So thanks. Again.
oyome: Thanks. The Cheese-Whiz just came to me in a flash of random brilliance.
mousie2: You can TRY to get Aragorn before me. Actually, my massive poster also has Legolas and Gimli on it too, but they're tiny compared to Aragorn. (His head is like, almost life sized) Plus, I stuck little pictures of him all over my room.
firefoxillusion007: I think most people on ff.net are fangirls in some degree, including MOI! I think it's just because most of the ff.net people are teenage girls, or at least they SAY they are...
elf from Rivendell: Whoa, calm down. Nobody's going to take Legolas away!
Anna: Hi! Thanks for reviewing! Happy Holidays to you too.
Aurora: You live in Fremont? I live in the bay area too. I know my fic is warped. I'm warped too! Warped is good! FUN! Hehehehehehehehehehehe!
Lady Lanet: I like storms! Not when they destroy trees though. I like trees.
Ainu Laire: When Arnold fixes the budget, then I'll believe he deserved to be elected. Do you still have a split personality? Try duct tape. It fixes anything.
Reasonably crazy: Yah! Knocking Legolas unconscious is WAY fun!
lemluvspirates: The cheetos sound a little far fetched, but I will soooooooo use you're 'give up the Halfling' thing. That's brilliance.
Mornie Utule: I've gotten really really really hyper before. The weird thing is, I didn't have any sugar before hand. There were some truly weird incidents involving my friends chasing me around with a twister mat, but let's not go there.
electrocuted-elf: Don't be disturbing! Mary Sue=BAD! Remember that now. Yes, my brain has been permanently warped by the Dead. I hate Mr. Etch. Running the mile sucks. DUH! ImustgetaleadintheplayImustgetaleadintheplayImustgetaleadintheplayImustgetal e adintheplay...Okay I'm STILL psycho from the audition. Mrs. Mitani totally does have Dick Cheney in her attic. I saw your story on the front page. I hope you get lots of reviews.
Phew! That was a lot of reviews! Not that I'm complaining though. I like reviews. So review! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
More Later
A/n: I'm pissed of at P.J. for leaving Halbarad, the Rangers, and Elladan & Elrohir out of ROTK, so I added this into my story. I would have posted it earlier, but fanfiction.net banned another story I wrote, and so I wasn't allowed to upload for a while. What I find particularly obnoxious, is the fact that they wouldn't tell me WHY they banned it...
P.S. Please read my other fic if you haven't already.
Chapter 8:
9:23 PM, five hours after escaping the fangirls. Aragorn is driving down some random road about twenty miles from San Francisco. Everyone is conscious again, but the only happy person is Pippin, who found five bags of marshmallows in Frodo's duffle and ate them ALL...
"I feel PRETTYYYYY! Oh so PRETTYYYY! I feel PRETTYYY and WITTYYY and-"
"Shut the hell up Pippin!" yelled Legolas. "I've been knocked unconscious TWICE in the past day, and my head feels like it's been stuck trampled by Oliphaunts!!"
"You think you've got it bad?" roared Gandalf. "I got hit with a *&%#$&% 120 pound gas tank! There is a lump on my head the size of a *&%#$%& Volkswagen!!"
"SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" shrieked Pippin, jumping up and down on the seat.
"I see string beans," mumbled Frodo, who was still in shock from the fangirl attack.
"I think we should all CALM down. CALM!" said Aragorn. "I will now play some relaxing music," he put on the Sound of Music soundtrack.
"The hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiils are aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive, with the sound of muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuusic! With songs they have suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuung, for a thousssssssand yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeears!" came blasting out of the stereo at full volume.
Everyone screamed and covered their ears.
"Oops...wrong CD," Aragorn threw The Sound of Music out the window and put on Oops!...I Did it Again! by Britney Spears.
"Oops! I did it again! I play with your heart! Got lost in the game!"
Everyone fell of their seats and started seizuring.
"My ears are bleeding!" moaned Merry.
"MY BRAIN IS MELTING!" shouted Legolas. "I'M GETTING SPLIT ENDS!!!"
"Ahhhhh! Cheese puff! CHEESE PUFF!" squealed the still mentally unbalanced Frodo.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled Gimli, and threw his ax at the stereo.
The resulting explosion vaporized Gimli's ax, the stereo, a bag of hapless gummy bears, and burned Aragorn's eyebrows completely off. The Britney Spears CD was unharmed.
"Aragorn! What the HELL was that?!?!" demanded Legolas. His temper wasn't improved by the fact that he had accidentally stuck his head into Sam's Happy Meal, and his hair had acquired large amounts of ketchup and pickle fragments.
"Yah!" said Merry, trying to staunch his nose bleed. "Are you trying to kill us or something?"
"No! I just like Britney Spears, that's all!" said Aragorn defensively.
Frodo snorted. "And people accuse ME of being gay!"
"Hey! I thought you were catatonic!" said Gimli.
"Oh yeah..." Frodo fell over and started drooling.
Meanwhile, Legolas was still yelling at Aragorn.
"LOOK at my hair! I can't even WASH it because that IDIOT Pippin ate my shampoo..."
Pippin looked up from flicking cookie crumbs at Sam. "I liked the way it smelled!"
"Gahhhhhh!"
"Look, at least you HAVE hair!" snapped Aragorn. "I no longer have eyebrows!!!"
"I can fix that," said Gandalf, and whacked Aragon between the eyes with his staff.
"Owww! What the hell Gandalf!" Aragorn felt his forehead gingerly. "Hey! My eyebrows are back!"
Legolas took one look at him and burst out laughing.
Aragorn glared at him. "What?"
"They...They...They're GREEN!" gasped Legolas. "You've got green eyebrows dude!!"
Aragorn craned his neck to look in the rear view mirror. "HOLY *#&%, I DO!!!! Gandalf!?!?"
The wizard shifted uncomfortably. "Just a side affect. It should wear off in a few weeks."
"WEEKS?!? That's IT!!" Aragorn let go of the wheel and lunged at Gandalf, who dodged him by leaping over the seat onto Merry and Pippin, who squealed loudly and bit him. Aragorn landed on his face in the passenger seat, and the Eurovan shot off the road, skidded down the bank, spun around, and came to rest in a ditch.
"Oh *&$^!" said Boromir. "Now look what you freaks have done!"
Legolas got out of the car and peered up and down the empty highway. "We'll just have to wait until someone comes along who can help us pull it out."
"Wait!" said Gimli. "Can't Aragorn call a tow-truck on his cell phone?"
Aragorn shook his head. "No I can't."
"Why not?"
"Pippin ate it."
"WHAT!?!?!?!?!" screamed everyone else.
"Just kidding," laughed Aragorn. "The battery's dead."
"That was soooooooo not funny, Strider!" muttered Pippin.
* * * * * * * *
Nine hours later. It is now well after six in the morning.
"It's hopeless!" sighed Legolas. "Nobody's come, and no ones going to come."
"We're going to be stranded here forever!!" wailed Merry.
"We're all gonna DIE!" squeaked Pippin.
"Shut it you idiots!" snapped Gandalf. "We're only fifteen miles from San Francisco! We can WALK back if we have to!"
"Fifteen miles is a LONG way!!" whined Pippin.
Legolas kicked him. "You walked all the way from Bree to Amon Hen! That's like a HUNDRED miles!"
"But I'm HUNGRY!"
"I think we should kill Frodo," said Merry. "Then we can eat him."
"EW! Your really sick Merry, you know that?"
"AHHH! It was a joke! It was a joke! HELP!!" yelled Merry, who was being whacked repeatedly over the head by Sam.
"Wait!" said Legolas. "There IS someone coming!"
Aragorn looked. "Nuh-uh! I can't see anything!"
"That's 'cause you're a mortal with stunted eyesight! I've got super-duper elfie vision, so HAH!"
Aragorn threw his potato chips at Legolas. "Well, at least I don't have hissy fits when I lose my shampoo!"
"Because you don't have shampoo at ALL! If you've washed you're hair in the past week, then I'm a dwarf!"
"Stop acting like four year olds!" bellowed Gandalf. "If we want help, we're going to have to attract these people's attention!"
"Huh?" said Aragorn and Legolas.
"We're seven yards down a bank in a ditch! We may not be visible from the road!"
"FYI, Gandalf!" said Aragorn irritably. "We're also bright pink! It's not like we're hard to miss!"
"I'm not taking any chances!" growled Gandalf. "Do you want to spend another nine hours down here?"
"Fine! Fine! What's your freaking plan?"
Gandalf grinned evilly. "I think Aragorn and Legolas should go up on the road and start doing cheerleader impersonations. That's bound to attract attention."
"Well, DUH!" said Legolas disgustedly. "They'll call the frigging mental hospital!"
Gandalf shrugged. "At least we'll get out of the ditch."
* * * * * * * *
Five minutes later: Aragorn and Legolas have somehow found cheerleader uniforms that are only slightly too small for them, and are now standing grumpily on the road, thinking of ways to get revenge on Gandalf.
"We could dye his robes yellow!" muttered Aragorn. "Or better yet, GREEN!"
"He'd just bleach 'em," replied Legolas. "We have to think of something REALLY painful..."
"The car is approaching!" called Gandalf. "I want to see some moves!"
Aragorn and Legolas groaned, and started doing halfhearted kicks and waving their pompoms unenthusiastically.
The 'car' in question was actually more of a bus. It was bright purple, with chipped paint, and obviously hadn't been washed for some years. It had "Rangers Rule!!!" painted on the side in large black letters, a "Not all those who wander are lost" bumper sticker, and another one that said "Dwarves suck".
The bus came barreling down the highway and slammed on the brakes right in front of Legolas and Aragorn. There was a pause, then an elf stuck his head out the window and stared at them in shock.
"Aragorn? Legolas?! What the *&$%#*% hell are you doing out on highway 1 at six in the morning in cheerleader outfits? Have you taken up being manwhores or something?!?!"
Aragorn gulped. "Um...Hi Elladan."
Elrohir stuck his head out the other window. "What's up bro? Hey, why'd you dye you're eyebrows green?"
"It's Gandalf's fault," said Aragorn.
"What?" asked Elladan. "The eyebrows or the cheerleader duds?"
"Both. You see, my eyebrows got blasted off when Gimli blew up the stereo, and when Gandalf tried to put them back on, they came out green. Then our Eurovan got driven off the road and down the bank-"
"That was YOUR fault!" interrupted Legolas.
"It was NOT!"
"You were driving!"
"That proves nothing! So anyway, we waited for nine hours for someone to drive by, but no one came. Then Legolas saw your car...um...bus, and Gandalf made us dress up like cheerleaders and block the road so you'd be sure to stop."
Elladan and Elrohir blinked stupidly at them, while Halbarad, who was in the middle of the front seat, made faces at them through the windshield.
"It sounds like you've had an...eventful road trip so far," said Elrohir after a moment.
"That's one of the biggest understatements I've ever heard," said Legolas emphatically. "It's right up there with 'Celeborn is brain dead' or 'Gollum has issues.'"
"But enough about US," said Aragorn. "What are YOU doing on highway 1 at six in the morning?"
Elladan grinned and cracked his knuckles. "We're going to get revenge on that bastard Peter Jackson!"
"Who's Peter Jackson?" asked Legolas.
"The director," said Elrohir aggrievedly. "You know, the one who LEFT US OUT OF THE MOVIE!!"
"Oh him," said Aragorn. "You do know that he lives in New Zealand don't you?"
"Of course. We would have come through there, but everyone else was doing that, and it was rather crowded."
"Everyone else?"
"Everyone else that got left out of the movie. Like Beregond, Saruman, Grima, Ioreth, Imrahil, about a hundred random hobbits..."
"Okay, okay, we get the picture. Would you guys mind helping us pull our Eurovan out of the ditch?"
"Sure," said Elrohir. "Come on lads!"
Thirty rangers jumped out of the bus windows and started doing the song and dance routine for "Men in Tights."
"We're men! (Manly men!) We're men in tights! We roam around Eriador looking for fights..."
"Oh my god! SHUT UP!" yelled Elladan. "Will you stop doing that?!?! That got us kicked out of that McDonalds in Tulsa, if you'll remember! Just pull Estel's freaking van back onto the road!"
The rangers made everyone take all their luggage out of the Eurovan before attaching ropes to it and dragging it slowly up the bank with lots of macho grunts and snorting.
"How are you going to get to New Zealand?" asked Gandalf.
Halbarad, Elladan, and Elrohir gave identical evil grins. "We're going on the paths...of the DEADHEADS!! Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!"
"The paths of the deadheads??" said Gimli incredulously.
"Yah," said Halbarad. "They're under Golden Gate Park. The other end comes out in a sewer in Wellington."
"Do you dudes want to come?" asked Elrohir. "The more guys with sharp, pointy weapons the better, I say..."
"Sure!" said Aragorn. Then he thought of something. "Have they got fangirls in Wellington?"
"I don't know," said Elladan. "Probably."
Aragorn sighed. "Well, at least I've got five bottles of Cheese-Whiz left."
Elladan and Elrohir exchanged blank looks. *******************************************************************
A/n: If you're worried, rest assured that nothing bad actually happens to Peter Jackson. Well, nothing REALLY bad. Next chapter: The paths of the deadheads! (Jerry Garcia gives me seizures)
To my (wonderful!) reviewers: (Seventy-SIX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
happy molecule: Yah, Aragorn totally rocks. And Pippin and Elrond, but not as much as Aragorn. I don't think it's possible to be cooler than Aragorn. (Yah, I'm obsessed) And yes, Arnold is crazy. He's also my governor. *gag*
Burn the R.U.M.: Are you a Pippin obsessor? My friend electrocuted-elf is too. You should read her fic. It's brilliant.
totallyObsessedwithLOTR: You love Aragorn AND Legolas? I just love Aragorn, but I guess Legolas is hot. (My friend Kiki-chan loves him)
Cecilia Gray: Thanks. I LOVE reviews. I love positive reviews more. So thanks. Again.
oyome: Thanks. The Cheese-Whiz just came to me in a flash of random brilliance.
mousie2: You can TRY to get Aragorn before me. Actually, my massive poster also has Legolas and Gimli on it too, but they're tiny compared to Aragorn. (His head is like, almost life sized) Plus, I stuck little pictures of him all over my room.
firefoxillusion007: I think most people on ff.net are fangirls in some degree, including MOI! I think it's just because most of the ff.net people are teenage girls, or at least they SAY they are...
elf from Rivendell: Whoa, calm down. Nobody's going to take Legolas away!
Anna: Hi! Thanks for reviewing! Happy Holidays to you too.
Aurora: You live in Fremont? I live in the bay area too. I know my fic is warped. I'm warped too! Warped is good! FUN! Hehehehehehehehehehehe!
Lady Lanet: I like storms! Not when they destroy trees though. I like trees.
Ainu Laire: When Arnold fixes the budget, then I'll believe he deserved to be elected. Do you still have a split personality? Try duct tape. It fixes anything.
Reasonably crazy: Yah! Knocking Legolas unconscious is WAY fun!
lemluvspirates: The cheetos sound a little far fetched, but I will soooooooo use you're 'give up the Halfling' thing. That's brilliance.
Mornie Utule: I've gotten really really really hyper before. The weird thing is, I didn't have any sugar before hand. There were some truly weird incidents involving my friends chasing me around with a twister mat, but let's not go there.
electrocuted-elf: Don't be disturbing! Mary Sue=BAD! Remember that now. Yes, my brain has been permanently warped by the Dead. I hate Mr. Etch. Running the mile sucks. DUH! ImustgetaleadintheplayImustgetaleadintheplayImustgetaleadintheplayImustgetal e adintheplay...Okay I'm STILL psycho from the audition. Mrs. Mitani totally does have Dick Cheney in her attic. I saw your story on the front page. I hope you get lots of reviews.
Phew! That was a lot of reviews! Not that I'm complaining though. I like reviews. So review! Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
More Later