Order 1: Realization
I awoke to find myself in a strange bed.
OK, this is just a little bit weird. I did not wake up to the usual sight of my white-painted ceiling yellowed with age, nor the posters and wall scrolls decorating the walls. Instead, I saw a... "Canopy?!?" I almost screeched. "Now I'm really confused..." I got up while still looking in the same direction.
The large room was obviously the master bedroom. It was spacious, with cherry furniture that matched (Wow. Furniture that actually matches. What an amazing thing.), a desk with a small computer, clock, and various desk-type things, a wardrobe, a huge bed with nice imported Egyptian linens, and a table with a couple of matching chairs - which had a tray with warm tea, sugar, lemon, and cream.
"Well. I am thirsty," I said aloud, to no one in particular. I walked over to the table and helped myself to the tea and sugar laid out for my consumption.
After putting three spoonfuls of sugar in the cup and stirring thoroughly, I walked out of the bedroom to explore. The door opened easily to my touch. Since the door responded the way a door normally should, I didn't think that anyone had kidnapped me, not that anyone would want to kidnap such a mundane person as myself. As I explored the hallways, I realized that this was a castle, or, at least, it looked as if it used to be. But it had obviously been converted into a more conventional mansion. I looked at the nearest painting, admiring the skill involved in its making. Odd, my glasses feel lighter than usual today...
After taking many right and almost as many left turns, I found that I had gotten thoroughly lost. By this time, I had finished my tea and was stuck carrying the empty cup around until I could find the kitchen. Because the hallways were sparse, looking at the few oil paintings on the wall became just a little boring. I rubbed absently at my shoulder, my clothing seemed a little more restricting today...
"Something wrong, Master?" said a voice, dripping with sarcasm. "Have you lost your way?"
I froze. Ok, now I know someone is playing a joke on me, I thought to myself. A really cruel, sick joke. I slowly turned around, half expecting to see a small Japanese man. What I found was totally different. Instead, there was a tall man with his charcoal black hair falling into his eyes, wearing a trench coat, and huge hat - all the color of fresh blood - as well as a pair of what looked to be protective glasses covering his eyes. He was leaning against the stone wall with the most annoying smirk playing on his lips, his head tilted to the side in an oddly birdlike position.
"Um," I said, uncertainly, not hearing him approach, "You aren't a small Japanese man, are you."
He looked down his nose at me from over his glasses, removing a barrier between us, and I saw his eyes... his red eyes. His smirk grew into a full fledged grin, showing white pointy teeth.
"No," he replied, "I am not." He seemed amused.
"Can you tell me where the kitchen is? I got lost while exploring the place and I need to take this cup down there so it can be washed."
He just stood there, watching me, as if he were sizing me up.
"This is your headquarters, Master, I should not have to tell you." His voice was barely suppressing the laughter I was expecting. "I did not know that you had a sense of humor."
I looked at him, irritated, and raised my eyebrow. "Well, whoever is paying you to play this joke on me has too much time and money on his hands," I told him, "because this isn't funny."
Actually, I was more than a little irritated. Who was this asshole, anyway? Did he enjoy messing with people this badly? I mean, I realize that I've had "Hellsing" on the brain lately, just barely crossing the line into obsession, but this is ridiculous! He wants to play, does he? Well, I'll play.
I hadn't realized that my free hand was clenched into a fist. I smiled to myself and quickly walked up to this - man - who was trying to get on my last nerve.
"So," I said, dangerously, "you think you're Alucard, hmm?" I was within a hairsbreadth of his nose. Odd that I can't feel him breathing while I'm this close to him...
"Well, I must say that you did a remarkably good job on the costume, buddy, but you can cut this shit out already. I am not amused."
"Alucard" removed his glasses and peered at me. "My, you're acting strangely, ever since you fainted from lack of sleep."
He leaned forward and whispered into my ear, "Even so, I noticed that you are acting as though you were another person - as though you were taking my question into consideration..."
I sighed, fed up with the games and grabbed him by his chin, glaring at his too smug expression. "The fun is over, do you hear me? I was perfectly willing to go along with this whole thing, but enough is enough! If you won't help me out by doing something so simple as point me in the right direction, then I'll have an easier time finding my own way!" I practically shouted at him, pushing him away with all of my strength with a low "Humph."
I started to walk the same direction I was heading before I was interrupted. I didn't get more than ten paces before I was grabbed roughly by the shoulder and shoved into the nearby wall. I let out a small gasp as the air was forced out of my lungs from the impact, stunning me.
"Well," said "Alucard," I don't think I've ever been handled like that by you." He was so close now that the air that his speaking produced tickled my throat, his lips almost touching mine. His arms were to either side of me and his body was less than half a foot away, effectively blocking all routes of escape.
"There is something very different about you," he breathed into my ear. "Maybe I should guess what it is, hmm?" :Or perhaps I should just see for myself, Sir Integra...:
I could feel my eyes widening.
"What?!?!" I yelled at him. "How would you be able to find out unless I told you? Are you crazy? You are taking this role waaay too seriously! Its not like you can read my mind or anything!"
This was getting creepy. I can say that, up until now, this was the closest to being scared I have ever been since I was ten years old.
I looked past the crazy man pinning me to the wall and yelled out to the empty air, "Ok, Aaron and Mike! Amir! Adam! This is going too far! You didn't have to hire someone to harass me into getting over this "obsession" you all think I have! Guys! Come out now!" Even to my own ears, my voice sounded desperate.
His lips practically caressed my ears as he whispered, "No one hired me. I don't need money to kill FREAKs." He got closer, which I thought was impossible, almost covering me. "I don't even need this pitiful excuse of a seal," he whispered, teasingly. One arm lifted to hold my shoulder against the wall. I could feel the strength in the deceptively lanky form.
Now, normally, I am not a violent person. I don't normally get so easily riled up. I am usually too oblivious to notice, laugh it off when I do notice, or bluntly tell the person they're a moron and walk off.
That was the last straw. He was already too close to me for comfort, and the fact that he was getting closer shook me out of my surprise. I lifted my right arm as high as I could under the circumstances and backhanded him as hard as was possible, with as much of my weight as I was able to put behind it.
Desperation probably helped in this instance, because the blow seemed to take him aback. There was some blood on his face from where I had hit him. As I looked, he smiled and licked the blood from his cheek with a tongue that would put Gene Simmons' to shame. "Ah. You still taste like Integra, but you are obviously not." At this, he backed away, giving me an opportunity to catch my breath and calm down. My hand hurt, but I ignored it.
"Of course I'm not Integra." I peered at him as though he were crazy, my eyebrow raised.
"She is a fictitious character made up by an overly imaginative Japanese man," I explained to him as I would an exceptionally intelligence-challenged child.
"Do I look like I have blond hair, tanned skin, and a suit?"
He just looked at me. The emotion that was first on his face passed so quickly, if I had blinked, I wouldn't have noticed. Was it confusion? I couldn't tell. Then the familiar, smug and lop-sided smirk masked his features. "Do you really want me to answer that, master?" He said that last with enough sarcasm that, if this had been the anime, it would mean that I was in trouble.
OK, calm down. Obviously, you need to explain to him who you are and how he can't make me believe he's Alucard. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"Ok, now. I happen to like anime. I've seen "Hellsing." Sure, I've been a little - preoccupied with it, but that doesn't mean that someone had to go to such lengths to play a practical joke on me. Granted, my friends just tease me about being Milly or Mihoshi, and lately, Aaron had been calling me Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing, but it's all in fun." I stopped to take a breath. "There are also no such creatures as vampires. I don't feel I need to elaborate on that statement," I finished, closing my eyes. I was tired of this farce. I wanted to go home.
And then I heard a soft humphing, which went from chuckling to outright laughter. And he was doing it! I felt my face flush in embarrassment and annoyance.
"What is so damned funny?" I asked impatiently.
"You are," he said between guffaws.
I sighed and shook my head. It was hopeless. I pushed myself from the wall. "Well, this was fun, but I'm going to try to find the kitchen and drop off this cup, then I'm leaving and going home."
As I started to walk, he asked me quietly, "Didn't you want to know why you are here?"
That stopped me. I slowly turned and waited.
The smirk was gone. He just stood there, watching me for a moment, as though he was looking for something. I just glared at him.
After a minute or two of this silent exchange, the corner of his mouth quirked, as if he found what he was searching for and was satisfied with the result.
"I am, in fact," he said slowly, "a vampire."
I stared at him, disbelieving. Really, now? And how were you going to prove this to me in such a way that cannot be explained by trickery? I thought to myself. But I said none of this to him. "And why should I believe," I laughed nervously, "that you are anything other than deranged?"
At this, his eyes lit up, as if he was immensely amused. He grinned from ear to ear. "Because," he said with a tinge of excitement, "I have left nothing but the spattering remains of my enemies from doing nothing but this-"
And he went from an ordinary, if crazy, man to an amorphous void with vaguely dog-like creatures sprouting from him. Some were where his arms used to be while others were coming from his back and shoulders. To make it worse, there were crimson red eyes everywhere on his "body." The only part of him left that could even be considered human was his head.
"Is this something that will show you what I truly am?" he asked me. "You would have tried to explain just about everything else as some sort of illusion." And with that, he disappeared and reappeared just as quickly behind me, "normal" once again.
"Look at your hand, and you will see that nothing is as it seems."
Not knowing what to do anymore, I numbly looked at my hand, which now that I was looking at it, hurt. And I saw something I had not been expecting to see: blood and the shattered remains of my teacup, which had shattered when I was shoved up against the wall before. I must have clenched my hands into fists without realizing I had sharp pieces of porcelain cutting into my hand. It must've been all the stuff I was going through at once. I didn't realize...
But that was not the most astounding thing. I was wearing gloves. I never wear gloves. While gazing at my bleeding hand, I noticed that I had a long, olive green sleeve. A suit??? I looked at the rest of my clothing to see what I thought I was seeing, hoping to God that it was a hallucination. Unfortunately, it wasn't. I was wearing a suit. "I need any kind of reflective surface. I won't believe it until I see it with my eyes."
He reached into nothing and brought out a small mirror.
I slowly raised the mirror to my face, dreading what I would see reflected there.
"God," I whispered to myself. Pleeeease don't let this be true.
The image was that of Integra Hellsing.
"Oh, but it is," he... no, Alucard, said. "Whoever you are, you are in my master's body now."