That Night
By Rakusa
Started: 06/19/03
Finished: 03/20/04
I once said I would write about that night, well now I have. It's taken me a while to finally put into words of what happened, my worst nightmare turned reality. It's hard to write this even now, but such an event needs to be explained to at least one person, and if I can reach just one, and have them feel what I feel now; it will be worth the difficulties in writing this.
It started out like every normal day should. I had been a pain to her even this day, if I had known- well, if I had known it would all have been different. She left after breakfast, going to the pool to hang out with her friends and boyfriend. I left as well, later, around noon; I don't recall what I did, except hang out with my friends.
That day passed by quickly, just like every day after that night. It was night by the time we were both home; we had dinner with our parents. Then as a thought of kindness despite my annoying her, she invited me along to a movie with her and her boyfriend. I was going to say no because I didn't want to sit next to them while they were smacking lips through the whole movie. But I changed my mine when I realized the offer was genuine, so I agreed.
I went to the movie and surprisingly I had a good time, they brought me to a comedy that I had been dying to go to for ages and nobody would go with me. We were walking back from the movie and she thought threw out the idea to go to a bowling alley. We went and had fun there too, I won, she was in second place with her boyfriend close behind at last place. We were laughing and having a good time as we went back outside. It was a quiet night, and we were close to home so we had decided to walk to the movies.
There were hardly any cars on the road so they walked across the street, I was lagging behind them, they were talking about something private, and I felt out of tune with them. She said something to her boyfriend, glancing at me while she did so. She was always such a considerate soul; I wonder now why she had been taken out of all of us.
See she had apparently said to her boyfriend that I probably felt out of sorts being by myself, and she sent him to go talk to me for a while, she was fine to be alone for a short time. As he was walking towards me, I was stepping off the sidewalk to cross the street as well. She was nearing the other side, about to step on her own curb. Her boyfriend was standing in the middle, turned towards me and walking in my direction when a bright yellow sports car turned a corner and sped towards us. As it turned though, it clipped the corner and was driving half on the sidewalk, half on the road.
She never saw it coming.
She was facing me, smiling at the two of us, pleased that her boyfriend and her brother got along so well. She usually gripped about how the two of us would tease her, but she loved the fact that she only had to worry about her father taking the sledgehammer to her boyfriend, and her brother wouldn't be participating.
As her boyfriend walked towards me, he offered a brotherly smile, but it faded as my eyes widen in shock, my mouth dropping open, trying to send some kind of warning. My feet wouldn't move, and my voice didn't seem to be working either, but I later found out that I had made some kind of strangled noise.
Her boyfriend whipped around, running to her, but, he was too late.
The car bowled her over. Literally ran over her, she was under the car for far too long. Another pedestrian on the streets got the licenses number, and now the driver's spending the next 20 years of his life behind bars in a cramp cell, he had been as sober as the day he was born, it had apparently been his 5rd offense of reckless driving, slapped also with manslaughter.
It was unfortunate really, if he had been charged earlier and had his license revoked, this would have never happened. I could understand somebody who took a corner too sharply and somebody that blended in being ran over, it would have made sense, I wouldn't have felt as ~angry~ as I did now, but, it was not to be.
Never had my parents petitioned for the death penalty, it wasn't what she wanted, neither would it do any good. Killing him wouldn't bring back their daughter; once he was behind bars he would no longer be a threat to society like those who deserved to die for their deeds. Even I realized that, through my grief, even after witnessing her death first hand, he didn't deserve to die.
The purr of the fine tuned engine took off, never too be seen again. Though the driver was caught later that night, thank god for sane standing people who kept their heads in a crisis.
That was it, that was the end to her life, you already know about what happened after that. I've only really talked about this to her boyfriend and a psychologist. My parents are really are of no help, so the psychologist suggested writing it down.
I feel tons better now that I've finally gotten off of my chest, of what happened 'that night', I'm surprised I haven't honored my promise before now, but I have ~finally~ done it, and I don't regret it.
I wish the entire world could read this, just so they could know, but I realize that it won't be able to reach everybody. I've done this more for myself than any prevention acts.
As for my parents? They don't talk much about her, they keep up a shrine for her out in the open, it was their way of dealing with it, they dealt with it the best way. Remembering her, not hiding her away in their hearts.
I know it still hurts them as much as it hurts me, we get a letters every once in and awhile for her, and some still for us, letters of "We're thinking about you" or "Our hearts are with you and your loss."
She was still reaching all of these people, even after her death, she was not forgotten.
Perhaps, someday I can tell you about her, in depth, about who she really was, or perhaps I should leave that for her boyfriend. I am unsure if I can really talk about her as if she was still alive, or even to when she was alive. I'm still dealing with her death as every day goes on. Though I do get a sense we're all in denial yet.
Sadly I believe the only way I can really be at peace with it is if I go back to remember who she was, and try to hold on to a little piece of her and try to think of things in the terms "If she were here, what would she have done?" Probably go whine about another failed test, but it's beyond that, she would look at everything with so much optimism, that I could only wish I could follow her example.
Only then would I be able to put everything behind me, I'm working on it, I really am. Here comes her boyfriend though, we're going to go see a movie, then perhaps we'll go and have a meal and talk about our lives now.
Authors Note: This is just a reminder: MADE UP STORY!
Next time: Who she was.
By Rakusa
Started: 06/19/03
Finished: 03/20/04
I once said I would write about that night, well now I have. It's taken me a while to finally put into words of what happened, my worst nightmare turned reality. It's hard to write this even now, but such an event needs to be explained to at least one person, and if I can reach just one, and have them feel what I feel now; it will be worth the difficulties in writing this.
It started out like every normal day should. I had been a pain to her even this day, if I had known- well, if I had known it would all have been different. She left after breakfast, going to the pool to hang out with her friends and boyfriend. I left as well, later, around noon; I don't recall what I did, except hang out with my friends.
That day passed by quickly, just like every day after that night. It was night by the time we were both home; we had dinner with our parents. Then as a thought of kindness despite my annoying her, she invited me along to a movie with her and her boyfriend. I was going to say no because I didn't want to sit next to them while they were smacking lips through the whole movie. But I changed my mine when I realized the offer was genuine, so I agreed.
I went to the movie and surprisingly I had a good time, they brought me to a comedy that I had been dying to go to for ages and nobody would go with me. We were walking back from the movie and she thought threw out the idea to go to a bowling alley. We went and had fun there too, I won, she was in second place with her boyfriend close behind at last place. We were laughing and having a good time as we went back outside. It was a quiet night, and we were close to home so we had decided to walk to the movies.
There were hardly any cars on the road so they walked across the street, I was lagging behind them, they were talking about something private, and I felt out of tune with them. She said something to her boyfriend, glancing at me while she did so. She was always such a considerate soul; I wonder now why she had been taken out of all of us.
See she had apparently said to her boyfriend that I probably felt out of sorts being by myself, and she sent him to go talk to me for a while, she was fine to be alone for a short time. As he was walking towards me, I was stepping off the sidewalk to cross the street as well. She was nearing the other side, about to step on her own curb. Her boyfriend was standing in the middle, turned towards me and walking in my direction when a bright yellow sports car turned a corner and sped towards us. As it turned though, it clipped the corner and was driving half on the sidewalk, half on the road.
She never saw it coming.
She was facing me, smiling at the two of us, pleased that her boyfriend and her brother got along so well. She usually gripped about how the two of us would tease her, but she loved the fact that she only had to worry about her father taking the sledgehammer to her boyfriend, and her brother wouldn't be participating.
As her boyfriend walked towards me, he offered a brotherly smile, but it faded as my eyes widen in shock, my mouth dropping open, trying to send some kind of warning. My feet wouldn't move, and my voice didn't seem to be working either, but I later found out that I had made some kind of strangled noise.
Her boyfriend whipped around, running to her, but, he was too late.
The car bowled her over. Literally ran over her, she was under the car for far too long. Another pedestrian on the streets got the licenses number, and now the driver's spending the next 20 years of his life behind bars in a cramp cell, he had been as sober as the day he was born, it had apparently been his 5rd offense of reckless driving, slapped also with manslaughter.
It was unfortunate really, if he had been charged earlier and had his license revoked, this would have never happened. I could understand somebody who took a corner too sharply and somebody that blended in being ran over, it would have made sense, I wouldn't have felt as ~angry~ as I did now, but, it was not to be.
Never had my parents petitioned for the death penalty, it wasn't what she wanted, neither would it do any good. Killing him wouldn't bring back their daughter; once he was behind bars he would no longer be a threat to society like those who deserved to die for their deeds. Even I realized that, through my grief, even after witnessing her death first hand, he didn't deserve to die.
The purr of the fine tuned engine took off, never too be seen again. Though the driver was caught later that night, thank god for sane standing people who kept their heads in a crisis.
That was it, that was the end to her life, you already know about what happened after that. I've only really talked about this to her boyfriend and a psychologist. My parents are really are of no help, so the psychologist suggested writing it down.
I feel tons better now that I've finally gotten off of my chest, of what happened 'that night', I'm surprised I haven't honored my promise before now, but I have ~finally~ done it, and I don't regret it.
I wish the entire world could read this, just so they could know, but I realize that it won't be able to reach everybody. I've done this more for myself than any prevention acts.
As for my parents? They don't talk much about her, they keep up a shrine for her out in the open, it was their way of dealing with it, they dealt with it the best way. Remembering her, not hiding her away in their hearts.
I know it still hurts them as much as it hurts me, we get a letters every once in and awhile for her, and some still for us, letters of "We're thinking about you" or "Our hearts are with you and your loss."
She was still reaching all of these people, even after her death, she was not forgotten.
Perhaps, someday I can tell you about her, in depth, about who she really was, or perhaps I should leave that for her boyfriend. I am unsure if I can really talk about her as if she was still alive, or even to when she was alive. I'm still dealing with her death as every day goes on. Though I do get a sense we're all in denial yet.
Sadly I believe the only way I can really be at peace with it is if I go back to remember who she was, and try to hold on to a little piece of her and try to think of things in the terms "If she were here, what would she have done?" Probably go whine about another failed test, but it's beyond that, she would look at everything with so much optimism, that I could only wish I could follow her example.
Only then would I be able to put everything behind me, I'm working on it, I really am. Here comes her boyfriend though, we're going to go see a movie, then perhaps we'll go and have a meal and talk about our lives now.
Authors Note: This is just a reminder: MADE UP STORY!
Next time: Who she was.