Nightshade
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"I know it's come, Draco, and I'm sorry." Severus offered what comfort he had to give. It wasn't much, but Draco was soothed to hear it.
"My mother's dead." Of course she was, and of course Severus would know it. He had said it to once again force himself to face reality.
Severus knew Narcissa Malfoy when they were children. They attended Hogwarts together. She was taken by Voldemort as well, but not in the way that so many others had been taken. She was mentally butchered by a little-known spell cast by Voldemort. Only a few knew of it, of course, because she could so easily maintain the façade of sanity. Draco knew, and that's why Severus empathized so much with him.
She told Severus once, in a letter she'd written while Lucius was asleep and unable to read her thoughts. But her thought process was flawed in so many ways. The last time he'd seen her, he didn't even recognize her.
She had tried to flee from Malfoy Manor at one point, but of course she was severely beaten for it. She was never again given the opportunity to make an attempt to flee. She was kept on a mental leash; Lucius could read her every thought at any time.
She would go about her business as a wife, mother and loyal servant to Voldemort and still try to think of things she was supposed to think about. When she strayed from her train of serene and pointless thoughts to scheme of ways to run away or kill herself, Lucius had made sure she regretted it to such great measures that she was at times unable to even recognize him afterwards, leaving her without fantasies of murdering him too.
She would sleep by Lucius' side, because he still claimed to love her. But when he slept, that was her only time of freedom. As little or as much freedom as she could even recognize, but it meant everything; she could think of anything she wanted. And she hoped he had nightmares, though he probably didn't. She envisioned killing him, and she planned and thought out every detail. It was exquisite.
Severus sighed and swept his hair back with one hand. They had shared a completely platonic relationship, but he had loved her. She had lived a terrible life but, at least, had died a relatively calm death. Poison was not such a horrible way to go, after all.
And here was her son, waiting for him to say something. He owed her this much.
"There's something I feel you must know, now, before you make any decisions." Severus motioned toward one of the chairs in his office and took his own at his desk.
"Decisions?"
"I know what the flowers mean. It was Dobby, your old house-elf. It would seem he knows of their significance as well."
"Oh" Draco wasn't feeling particularly conversational. He didn't want to know where this was going, either.
"I gather from your display in the Great Hall that you are not content with the responsibilities that have been delivered to you."
Draco didn't respond. He didn't know what to say, really. He knew that Severus held a relatively high position in Voldemort's ranks. Why would he be saying these things to him?
Severus cleared his throat. "My seventh year attending Hogwarts, your father approached me with the offer to join Voldemort. By the time I left Hogwarts as a student, I was a full-fledged Death Eater, complete with Dark Mark and violated mind. Certain events had led me to the realization that Voldemort was not for unifying wizards but for breaking apart the very dynamics of the wizarding and muggle worlds," He paused, trying to word his past in such a way that it was not appalling or gory, "At which point I was approached by Albus Dumbledore with the opportunity to teach at Hogwarts and become…well, become a spy. I took this position and have been working for Headmaster Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix ever since."
Severus realized that his was a very, very censored version of the real story, but he needn't have gone into every gruesome detail. What he said had still left a decently shocked expression on Draco's face.
"Traitor?" It was the only word Draco could think of. Traitor
"Yes, well, it's very complicated. You know about the curse that was placed on your mother," He paused, looking for some sort of acknowledgement. Draco nodded. "That…that curse took away the last of whatever freedom she might have had, if it can be called that. It's Nightshade, Draco, but planted in the mind. Imperius in a potion, and so much worse. You must understand this. As long as you are in Lucius' care, he will keep you under it."
Draco looked away from his professor. He stared at the dark, coarse ground. But it glistened and moved with a life of its own; it was molding itself into the shape of a woman. And his mother was rising out of it and saying something to him but he could not understand. And he blinked.
Severus continued, taking note of Draco's reaction, "I have also been under Lucius' influence, and I will tell you now that I would have wished for death every day for the time that he controlled me. I would have wished it, but I was not allowed. I'm telling you this because you need to know how far your father is willing to go for your obedience. Now is your best opportunity to break free of him Draco, but in doing so, you will also betray Voldemort."
Draco could only nod. He looked up at his professor, who stared evenly back at him.
But now Severus had to make sure the information that he had disclosed would not be exposed to Draco's father. Tricky, he thought to himself.
"We'll talk again on Friday. Come to the Potions classroom after dinner."
That was as much as a dismissal that he was going to get. Draco silently rose from his chair and left Snape's office, closing the door with a faint click.
People were always watching him when he walked the corridors. For some reason, they were compelled to stare at him as he passed; it was unnerving to no end. He must have been such a novelty, but it was the same reason he wasn't allowing himself to think about what had just passed. They couldn't see him worried or uncertain or crying.
He was panicking inside and it was nearly impossible for him to hide it. He felt as if his head would explode with the revelations of that night. He had to force himself not to think about it. No, can't think about it because they see the weakness. They can smell it.
It seemed ages later when he no longer felt eyes constantly boring into him. He was alone; he was sitting in the middle of his bed with the curtains pulled around it.
Severus Snape was a double spy? Draco would be subjected to years of torture if he didn't act now. He'd seen his mother and he knew that he could never live like that. How she had done it was beyond him, but Draco had never expected to be at the receiving end of his father's psychosis. In the other hand, he didn't fancy being tortured by Voldemort either.
And he still had Dumbledore. He had barely ever said anything to the headmaster, despising him for always meddling and thwarting evil plans of which he knew nothing. But now Draco could only believe that Dumbledore was his only hope. The headmaster had helped Professor Snape, after all.
Snape, of course, was a different story entirely. Draco realized that he now had the power to destroy the professor, the traitor. But what would it do for him in the end? No, his father would still use that curse, and he would still end up like his mother.
He looked at his surroundings and was slightly startled at finding himself in his bed. He didn't remember coming up here. But then the memory of all those eyes came back to him, the horribly curious eyes. He'd been sitting up there for longer than he realized. He could hear Crabbe's rumbling snores coming from the bed to his right.
He wasn't sleepy in the least. He had taken an hour-long nap at the lake and felt completely awake. Draco decided to slip away from the sleeping Slytherins and go back out to the lake. He laughed at himself for growing so attached to that place, but at least he could breathe comfortably out there.
When he got there, though, he wasn't expecting to see Harry Potter perched on the hill that Draco had, only hours before, been sleeping on.
He settled for trying to kick him off the hill. Unfortunately, that wouldn't work either. Harry spotted him coming up the hill and actually had the audacity to smile. And that wasn't the least of it. He had gotten up from his spot at the peak of the hill and scooted over a little to the right, leaving enough room for Draco to sit next to him.
Draco scoffed at this. This little boy with the features of a mouse was actually expecting him to sit next to him at the top of this stinking little shit of hill. To Draco's surprise, he cautiously approached Harry and sat down.
Harry was as chipper as ever, "What'd you and Snape talk about?"
But Draco tensed. "How did you…" He trailed off.
"Oh, I saw you leave," he said complacently; he pointed at the shimmering cloth that was bundled up next to him.
"That's your cloak." Draco said rather dumbly, but figured it out on his own. "Oh."
"Anyway, you came out here before too." Harry forgot about his previous question, and brought up something else instead. "It's nice, isn't it? The view."
Draco was now feeling sufficiently uncomfortable. The prospect of being seen crying was not appealing, and he knew that Harry had been watching from inside that damned invisibility cloak. He gave a noncommittal mumble in response; really, he just didn't know what to say.
Harry sat with his legs crossed and leaned back on his hands with a very fitting moronic grin on his face. He was just sitting there looking out at the lake.
"I never get sick of it. You'd think a stupid lake couldn't really hold someone's interest for that long, but I've just been sitting here trying to figure it out." Harry started swaying back and forth to some happy tune only he could hear. Draco rolled his eyes at the childish display.
"Why'd you take off the cloak, then?" He felt apprehensive about initiating conversation.
"Oh, well I figured you might come back after your talk with Snape." He answered, still swaying.
"You were waiting for me!" Draco asked hysterically, utterly confused.
But Harry laughed, emitting wisps of steam from his mouth from the cold night air. "Not really, I come out here for sleep."
Draco was starting to wonder, though, as to when this sudden placidity had emerged. It could have been that so many things had changed; they were both waiting for something to happen.
"Sleep." He said skeptically, "You come out here for sleep."
"Aah, it's not that bad. You get used to it. But don't ever fall asleep while in the sitting position, it hurts like hell when you wake up." Harry winced, remembering the sharp pains in his spine. "Besides, you just slept here a couple of hours ago, you hypocrite. So what were you doing out here that last time?"
"Mind your own business, Potter."
"Could there possibly be anything more humiliating than getting caught crying by me? What difference does it make?"
Draco glared at him; he really didn't have to tolerate this. "Yes, of course there is: getting caught talking to you by anybody else."
He moved so quickly that Harry wasn't able to defend himself. Draco had shoved him over with his shoulder and grabbed the invisibility cloak while Harry was trying to stand up. And of course, by the time Harry had shook it off, Draco was nowhere to be seen.
"Malfoy! I know you're here!" He shouted.
Draco snickered, "Don't yell, I'm not mentally impaired."
Harry whipped around and made a blind grab into the air. He didn't catch anything, but he waved his arms around maniacally in an attempt to snag the cloak from nowhere. Suddenly, something caught his foot and he fell on his face. Swearing profusely, he got back up listening for the source of the laughter.
"Really, Potter, this is too easy." The voice was moving, it was moving around Harry and try as he might, he couldn't catch Draco. "And you might look into some charms for this shitty cloak. It feels like I'm wearing a fucking bed sheet…and how long has it been since you've washed it?"
Harry made another blind grab in the air.
"I don't think so." Draco smirked.
"Fine." Harry turned around and pulled out the Marauder's Map. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."
Voila. Draco Malfoy was a few feet from where Harry stood. Well, that was good then. He folded up the map and placed it back in his pocket and pulled out his wand, aiming it directly at Draco. "Accio cloak" and it flew into Harry's waiting hands. He wrapped the cloak around himself and, having disappeared, turned to a very flustered looking Malfoy. His golden hair was pointing in every direction and he was still holding his breath.
Draco heard laughter, somewhat further away indicating that Harry had moved further down the lake.
Harry called out, "I'm going to sleep, don't try to steal my cloak."
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Hey everybody! I updated! Woohoo! I know this chapter is a little different from the other two (there's dialogue!) but there's good reason.
I'll let you all know now that Snape is going to play a major role later in the story, and his curious relationships with Narcissa and Lucius will come into sharper focus. Though this is a Harry/Draco fic, I'd also like to focus on the situations surrounding them. Oh yeah, and don't complain about this chapter, please. I understand the campiness of the second half, but there are such things as repercussions. I should mention that I might edit this chapter later on, if I feel like it will interfere with any other part of the story. The two chapters I wrote before reflect the tone I generally want this fic to take, so we'll see what happens!
Thanks for reading and sticking with me, and send me some reviews! I'm wallowing with a very few right now, and it hurts my poor, fragile li'l soul to no end. So yeah, Review!