[Authors Note: I have squirrels in my pants.]
Nato woke up in a daze, he couldn't remember anything since Haruko broke the T.V., all he knew was that his eyes wouldn't open and it felt like there was a living creature attached to his body. He knew what this ment... he had seen enough movies to know what was going on. An alien had ripped open his side and was taking his organs to make itself more human. He couldn't dare open his eyes but...
"...tuna is worth nothing" Haruko mumbled in her sleep, still attached to... wait a second, what did she do last night? Besides smashing the T.V. with her guitar, she couldn't remember. Had she been knocked out? Did a peice of the T.V. fly off and hit her? If so, then why did her pillow feel so fleshy? Then it hit her, the T.V. electrocuted her and Naota and she was feeling what was left of him. She couldn't dare open her eyes but...
Both of them opened their eyes at the same time, Naota screaming and Haruko acting confused. They were both naked on the floor holding each other.
"Holy crap! You raped me! I got raped by an alien!" Naota was screaming and shaking his arms in the air like a preacher at an exorcism.
"I don't know what happend but if anything you raped me. I'd never willingly do it with a human... ok mabey I would, but not after all of that 'alien' talk."
The night before they had been talking, Haruko got pissed off and destroyed the T.V. That was all they could remember until now. Naota remembered Haruko kissing him... and then he kissed back... then...
"Oh my god we did do it." Naota's eyes were larger than usual (Author's Note: Which is almost impossible), he was panting, and his mind was racing like he had just killed someone. And just like he had just killed someone he spoke up: "This is not 100% my fault! You were in this too!"
"Duh. Oh well... not like anything is gonna happen." Haruko sighed and looked for her clothes which were scattered across the room.
"Pregnancy... I could of gotten AIDS..."
"I've never done it before, and this is the only time you'll ever do it so no to AIDS. Also I kinda doubt someone like you could get anyone pregnant." Haruko looked down at Naota, putting on her shirt.
"Hey! How can you insult me like that? You should be thankful." Naota yelled at her.
"Thankful? I could have sex with any man I want, and you know that. Now let's forget about this and make me some breakfast." Haruko simply got up and layed down on the couch, pointing the remote control at the broken T.V.
Naota stood there, blank faced.
"Did you hear me? I said make me some breakfast!" Haurko threw a ripped up pillow at her. That's when she noticed it too. The apartment was in peices. The pillows were ripped up, the tables were broken in half, the carpest was pushed up, and the curtains were confetti.
"Mabey I should take a pregnancy test." Haruko said, now with eyes as big as Naota's.
He never felt this bad before, not since he had let Haurko leave. Sure, now she was back to stay... but now there was a chance that she was here to stay with a child.
"I pee on this thing?!" Haruko shouted through the bathroom door.
"Preaty sure!" Naota yelled back.
"Now what?"
"Did blue change to pink?"
"Uhh... no. It's green."
Naota was confused, what would green mean? He could see it now, on the side of the package in his mind: "If green, try and get a promotion to God. You're up for centuplets."
Then Haruko stepped out, a pleased look on her face. Naota whimpered, on the verge of wetting his pants.
"I'm...," Haruko paused to torture Naota, "not pregnant."
Naota sighed, then blacked out.
"Hello? Helooooo?"
1:00 P.M.
"Wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP DAMN IT!" Naota felt a kick to his head then opened his eyes, it was Haruko.
"Oh, you're up. Listen... I'm sorry about what I said earlier. If I could have sex with anyone I'd pick you..."
"Well, atleast nobody else knows... right? You didn't answer the door naked again, did you?" Naota looked worried, but it was obvious he was only kidding.
"Yeah. Kinda caught me off guard... it was two guys. One nerdy guy and one that had a circle around his mouth." But Haruko wasn't kidding.
"Great. This will make headlines... 'Earth Boy Screws Guitar-Playing Alien' Then I'll be scratching my balls and watching sports... while you take care of an eight legged, six eyed, three headed alien."
"Hey! I may be an alien but I look like a human, don't I?" Haurko felt insulted.
"Not realy... you sometimes look like a cat." It was true, he could remember many times in which she had pointy eyes and whiskers.
"And sometimes you look like a man." Naota had a bad feeling this would be another one of those 'I insult her, she insults me, this keeps happening till she walks out, I kiss her feet, we do it'
"Atleast I'm supposed to look like a man." Naota cracked. Mabey that is what he wanted. He wasn't sure if this is how love felt, but he knew he liked it.
"I already know how this is gonna go. How about we just skip the arguement and get naked?" Haurko sighed.
"Can I have lunch first?"
"No. Strip damn it." Haruko commanded.
"Fine..." And that was that... imagine the details yourself, you nasty nasty reader. :)
[Authors Note REDUX: Yeah, I felt bad for all those readers who wanted more and I just left them with a crap ending, so I wrote a quick ending chapter. I might do more chapters, longer ones, but I doubt it. Now, for the explanation of the title. The title means
Nato woke up in a daze, he couldn't remember anything since Haruko broke the T.V., all he knew was that his eyes wouldn't open and it felt like there was a living creature attached to his body. He knew what this ment... he had seen enough movies to know what was going on. An alien had ripped open his side and was taking his organs to make itself more human. He couldn't dare open his eyes but...
"...tuna is worth nothing" Haruko mumbled in her sleep, still attached to... wait a second, what did she do last night? Besides smashing the T.V. with her guitar, she couldn't remember. Had she been knocked out? Did a peice of the T.V. fly off and hit her? If so, then why did her pillow feel so fleshy? Then it hit her, the T.V. electrocuted her and Naota and she was feeling what was left of him. She couldn't dare open her eyes but...
Both of them opened their eyes at the same time, Naota screaming and Haruko acting confused. They were both naked on the floor holding each other.
"Holy crap! You raped me! I got raped by an alien!" Naota was screaming and shaking his arms in the air like a preacher at an exorcism.
"I don't know what happend but if anything you raped me. I'd never willingly do it with a human... ok mabey I would, but not after all of that 'alien' talk."
The night before they had been talking, Haruko got pissed off and destroyed the T.V. That was all they could remember until now. Naota remembered Haruko kissing him... and then he kissed back... then...
"Oh my god we did do it." Naota's eyes were larger than usual (Author's Note: Which is almost impossible), he was panting, and his mind was racing like he had just killed someone. And just like he had just killed someone he spoke up: "This is not 100% my fault! You were in this too!"
"Duh. Oh well... not like anything is gonna happen." Haruko sighed and looked for her clothes which were scattered across the room.
"Pregnancy... I could of gotten AIDS..."
"I've never done it before, and this is the only time you'll ever do it so no to AIDS. Also I kinda doubt someone like you could get anyone pregnant." Haruko looked down at Naota, putting on her shirt.
"Hey! How can you insult me like that? You should be thankful." Naota yelled at her.
"Thankful? I could have sex with any man I want, and you know that. Now let's forget about this and make me some breakfast." Haruko simply got up and layed down on the couch, pointing the remote control at the broken T.V.
Naota stood there, blank faced.
"Did you hear me? I said make me some breakfast!" Haurko threw a ripped up pillow at her. That's when she noticed it too. The apartment was in peices. The pillows were ripped up, the tables were broken in half, the carpest was pushed up, and the curtains were confetti.
"Mabey I should take a pregnancy test." Haruko said, now with eyes as big as Naota's.
He never felt this bad before, not since he had let Haurko leave. Sure, now she was back to stay... but now there was a chance that she was here to stay with a child.
"I pee on this thing?!" Haruko shouted through the bathroom door.
"Preaty sure!" Naota yelled back.
"Now what?"
"Did blue change to pink?"
"Uhh... no. It's green."
Naota was confused, what would green mean? He could see it now, on the side of the package in his mind: "If green, try and get a promotion to God. You're up for centuplets."
Then Haruko stepped out, a pleased look on her face. Naota whimpered, on the verge of wetting his pants.
"I'm...," Haruko paused to torture Naota, "not pregnant."
Naota sighed, then blacked out.
"Hello? Helooooo?"
1:00 P.M.
"Wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP DAMN IT!" Naota felt a kick to his head then opened his eyes, it was Haruko.
"Oh, you're up. Listen... I'm sorry about what I said earlier. If I could have sex with anyone I'd pick you..."
"Well, atleast nobody else knows... right? You didn't answer the door naked again, did you?" Naota looked worried, but it was obvious he was only kidding.
"Yeah. Kinda caught me off guard... it was two guys. One nerdy guy and one that had a circle around his mouth." But Haruko wasn't kidding.
"Great. This will make headlines... 'Earth Boy Screws Guitar-Playing Alien' Then I'll be scratching my balls and watching sports... while you take care of an eight legged, six eyed, three headed alien."
"Hey! I may be an alien but I look like a human, don't I?" Haurko felt insulted.
"Not realy... you sometimes look like a cat." It was true, he could remember many times in which she had pointy eyes and whiskers.
"And sometimes you look like a man." Naota had a bad feeling this would be another one of those 'I insult her, she insults me, this keeps happening till she walks out, I kiss her feet, we do it'
"Atleast I'm supposed to look like a man." Naota cracked. Mabey that is what he wanted. He wasn't sure if this is how love felt, but he knew he liked it.
"I already know how this is gonna go. How about we just skip the arguement and get naked?" Haurko sighed.
"Can I have lunch first?"
"No. Strip damn it." Haruko commanded.
"Fine..." And that was that... imagine the details yourself, you nasty nasty reader. :)
[Authors Note REDUX: Yeah, I felt bad for all those readers who wanted more and I just left them with a crap ending, so I wrote a quick ending chapter. I might do more chapters, longer ones, but I doubt it. Now, for the explanation of the title. The title means