As Told By Aya-----Diary Entry Four [[Assassins and The Beach]]
Disclaimer: *sarcastically* Yes, people, I own Weiss Kreuz and all things associated with it. Really.
###-----
Dear Aya-chan,
Have I ever told you how much I despise the beach? For Yohji, it's a good excuse to try out his new thong and to show off his body in order to attract more females. For Ken it's a good way to get legal exercise by swimming, running, playing volleyball, etc. For Omi it's time to go make sandcastles and collect seashells for another one of his little collections.
For me it's murder.
But not quite. Similar though.
But not quite.
Not everyone loves the beach, you know. There are about a million things wrong with it, reasons I have tried endlessly to get into the minds of my fellow assassin. Unfortunately, they seem to ignore my pleas and even give me excuses for my analysis of the shoreline. In the end, through hard work and immense effort, guess who wins?
Them.
So on a bright, sunny, Saturday morning, a morning that could've been sleeping in and even reading, I was dragged down to a coast not far from the flower shop. To make matters worse, I was not allowed to drive and therefore had to sit with the enormous plastic, floating shark that Omi insisted he bring along. That thing will scare everyone at the beach into running away. Not that I'm complaining. You'd think the day couldn't have gotten shoddier than it already was, wouldn't you.
Well you're wrong. And so am I.
They made me wear trunks. Magenta, Hawaiian shorts - the kind with the big flowers printed everywhere. Supposedly, according to Omi, the little shorts expert, it "brings out the color of my eyes." I couldn't give a damn about my eye color if my life depended on it. I don't do trunks. Ever. Personally, I'm a pant person who prefers covering every inch of their body beneath the head. Still, I was told that if I didn't comply, someone was going to work full shifts for a month at the flower shop. Alone. With the fan girls. I shudder at the thought.
Of course, being the genius that I am and having a solution for everything, I put pants over the shorts. Weiss can moan and groan all they want, but the pants are stuck to me legs for life. And the end of the trip. When threatened with the fan girls, I calmly snatched out each of their diaries and warned them that I would read an excerpt from each of the journals. Embarrassing, mortifying, unreadable excerpts. Lucky I don't keep my diary where people can just snatch it and read. This is the value of actually being organized.
After half and hour of driving, we arrived at the beach, clad in our trunks, me in my sweater and pants. God, I can already feel the sun doing horrors to my skin. I'd like to keep myself pale, thank you very much. So I quickly open and setup an umbrella and dodge under it. Can't forget the lotion, now can I? Even with an umbrella, I'm still in danger. But not for long.
The others glare at me, which I ignore. Humph. Those guys have nothing on me. Only I have the true icy glare that is so useful. Everyone else may as well never open their eyes again.
I take off my sweater to reveal the shit I have underneath. This is only a statement of me being too warm. I still refuse to remove the pants, though.
I examine my surroundings. Yohji's being enveloped by a pack of females, all whom are sighing and drooling over the man. I can't say I didn't expect this, but honestly, do people have nothing better to do? Ken is playing volleyball with a group of….girls as well. And apparently enjoying every minute of it. I suppose it's a beach thing. Oh well. I know Omi won't let me down. He's too young to have his little female friends accompany him anyway. Where is he again? Oh, now I see him. He's on the far end of the shoreline, swimming with his puffy green shark and laughing with some….girls.
Is it me, or am I getting a pattern here? If this continues, I should be the next one surrounded with girls, right? Fortunately, I don't see any currently headed this way….look to the left….and no, wait yes, no, yes, yes….oh dear. Time to crouch down below my umbrella and pretend I'm sleeping. Maybe they'll be attracted to one of the other's instead. No, that won't work; they've already noticed me. Think Aya, think. You're running out of options here.
"Aya-kun, lunch time!" Omi's voice rings out from afar. Oh how I cherish that wonderful voice at this moment. Never again will I scold him for hogging the bathroom when I need to make my getaways from the rest of the world. Well, maybe occasionally.
I scramble upward and about, dashing as quick as my legs can carry me. I realize this must be an odd sight: a grown man in a white shirt and black leather pants scuttling about, especially when my magenta trunks are starting to peek out of the pants. Still, I go forward and snatch the sandwich made for me out of Omi's hand and scoff it down.
Ten minutes later I decide to go and get some actual exercise on the beach, and not just hide underneath an umbrella all day. My resolution is that I will go for a quick swim, and hop back where I was before. Sadly, this means I have to take off my beloved pants and adorn myself with that near pink piece of clothing. No matter. I'll just sprint in and out of the water before anyone witnesses my clothing.
I take in a couple deep breaths. I must admit, this day really isn't too bad. The water isn't too cold, the weather not too cold, even Weiss have stopped pestering me for the moment. I don't know why Omi was so worried about me entering the water. Something about my health and how I shouldn't move around so much after I just ate. I, of course, just snorted and hurried to take off my pants before Yohji's snickering level reaches maximum. I swim into the middle of the ocean. What a fine day it is.
Spoke too soon. A cramp is building up in my sides, and my entire body feels numb. God, I'm sinking! Somebody help! The water is flowing higher and higher. I feel myself moving downwards….down…down…
I hear a lot of noise. Is this heaven? Have I died? My eyes lay unopened as I struggle to verify what's around me. Voices….familiar voices….Ken, Omi, Yohji…. Oh God, if they're here, then this must be that other place. Wait, but they haven't died yet, have they? Must be due to lack of my leadership.
"He's breathing, guys! I think Aya's back!" Omi's tone shoots into my ears. Back? I'm back? Then that means I'm not dead after all?
"His eyes aren't opening though, and he's not moving. Are you sure? Maybe you should give him CPR or something?" I hear Yohji ask from a couple feet away. Immediately a rush of feet are heard, and what seems like a ton of girls come by, whispering and chatting noisily. Did Yohji say CPR before? Is that what the girls are for? No, I tell you, NO.
"I'm not sure Aya would like that too much, him being who he is and all." Thank God for Ken. At least someone here has a mind of reason.
"Then what? Omi, do you know any other methods for getting Aya conscious again?" Yohji ponders out loud.
"Well, I don't know any other way completely, but I did see something like this on TV. I think when the guy was waterlogged, another guy jumped on him or something to get the water out of his lungs. I know! Lets pounce on Aya so the water will come out! Everyone, get ready to leap as hard as you can on the count of three. One, two-"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
I spring to life in that bare second, roll over to the side, and grab a seashell in defense. Jump on me and you will find a long, pointy shell stuck up where the sun don't shine, even if it wanted to. All three guys immediately chant my name in unison and grin at me, happy to have me back. Hn. If they had been any happier, I would've ended up dead by now. I know how much these three eat, and do not want to feel the full force of their weight.
I glare at each of them, and then find myself horrified to be still wearing those magenta shorts, right out in the open. Seizing my pants, I slip them on halfway, then run to the car with black jeans flying everywhere, and a bright magenta flower exposed where my butt is suppose to be. I hide in the car for the rest of the day.
Never again am I going to the beach. Never, you hear me!?! The moment I get back to the Koneko I am setting those shorts on fire. Then feeding them to the Venus Fly Trap downstairs. One day I am going to sue the company that made those, and let them suffer my humiliation!
Rather sunburned and a bit hungry,
Aya
Disclaimer: *sarcastically* Yes, people, I own Weiss Kreuz and all things associated with it. Really.
###-----
Dear Aya-chan,
Have I ever told you how much I despise the beach? For Yohji, it's a good excuse to try out his new thong and to show off his body in order to attract more females. For Ken it's a good way to get legal exercise by swimming, running, playing volleyball, etc. For Omi it's time to go make sandcastles and collect seashells for another one of his little collections.
For me it's murder.
But not quite. Similar though.
But not quite.
Not everyone loves the beach, you know. There are about a million things wrong with it, reasons I have tried endlessly to get into the minds of my fellow assassin. Unfortunately, they seem to ignore my pleas and even give me excuses for my analysis of the shoreline. In the end, through hard work and immense effort, guess who wins?
Them.
So on a bright, sunny, Saturday morning, a morning that could've been sleeping in and even reading, I was dragged down to a coast not far from the flower shop. To make matters worse, I was not allowed to drive and therefore had to sit with the enormous plastic, floating shark that Omi insisted he bring along. That thing will scare everyone at the beach into running away. Not that I'm complaining. You'd think the day couldn't have gotten shoddier than it already was, wouldn't you.
Well you're wrong. And so am I.
They made me wear trunks. Magenta, Hawaiian shorts - the kind with the big flowers printed everywhere. Supposedly, according to Omi, the little shorts expert, it "brings out the color of my eyes." I couldn't give a damn about my eye color if my life depended on it. I don't do trunks. Ever. Personally, I'm a pant person who prefers covering every inch of their body beneath the head. Still, I was told that if I didn't comply, someone was going to work full shifts for a month at the flower shop. Alone. With the fan girls. I shudder at the thought.
Of course, being the genius that I am and having a solution for everything, I put pants over the shorts. Weiss can moan and groan all they want, but the pants are stuck to me legs for life. And the end of the trip. When threatened with the fan girls, I calmly snatched out each of their diaries and warned them that I would read an excerpt from each of the journals. Embarrassing, mortifying, unreadable excerpts. Lucky I don't keep my diary where people can just snatch it and read. This is the value of actually being organized.
After half and hour of driving, we arrived at the beach, clad in our trunks, me in my sweater and pants. God, I can already feel the sun doing horrors to my skin. I'd like to keep myself pale, thank you very much. So I quickly open and setup an umbrella and dodge under it. Can't forget the lotion, now can I? Even with an umbrella, I'm still in danger. But not for long.
The others glare at me, which I ignore. Humph. Those guys have nothing on me. Only I have the true icy glare that is so useful. Everyone else may as well never open their eyes again.
I take off my sweater to reveal the shit I have underneath. This is only a statement of me being too warm. I still refuse to remove the pants, though.
I examine my surroundings. Yohji's being enveloped by a pack of females, all whom are sighing and drooling over the man. I can't say I didn't expect this, but honestly, do people have nothing better to do? Ken is playing volleyball with a group of….girls as well. And apparently enjoying every minute of it. I suppose it's a beach thing. Oh well. I know Omi won't let me down. He's too young to have his little female friends accompany him anyway. Where is he again? Oh, now I see him. He's on the far end of the shoreline, swimming with his puffy green shark and laughing with some….girls.
Is it me, or am I getting a pattern here? If this continues, I should be the next one surrounded with girls, right? Fortunately, I don't see any currently headed this way….look to the left….and no, wait yes, no, yes, yes….oh dear. Time to crouch down below my umbrella and pretend I'm sleeping. Maybe they'll be attracted to one of the other's instead. No, that won't work; they've already noticed me. Think Aya, think. You're running out of options here.
"Aya-kun, lunch time!" Omi's voice rings out from afar. Oh how I cherish that wonderful voice at this moment. Never again will I scold him for hogging the bathroom when I need to make my getaways from the rest of the world. Well, maybe occasionally.
I scramble upward and about, dashing as quick as my legs can carry me. I realize this must be an odd sight: a grown man in a white shirt and black leather pants scuttling about, especially when my magenta trunks are starting to peek out of the pants. Still, I go forward and snatch the sandwich made for me out of Omi's hand and scoff it down.
Ten minutes later I decide to go and get some actual exercise on the beach, and not just hide underneath an umbrella all day. My resolution is that I will go for a quick swim, and hop back where I was before. Sadly, this means I have to take off my beloved pants and adorn myself with that near pink piece of clothing. No matter. I'll just sprint in and out of the water before anyone witnesses my clothing.
I take in a couple deep breaths. I must admit, this day really isn't too bad. The water isn't too cold, the weather not too cold, even Weiss have stopped pestering me for the moment. I don't know why Omi was so worried about me entering the water. Something about my health and how I shouldn't move around so much after I just ate. I, of course, just snorted and hurried to take off my pants before Yohji's snickering level reaches maximum. I swim into the middle of the ocean. What a fine day it is.
Spoke too soon. A cramp is building up in my sides, and my entire body feels numb. God, I'm sinking! Somebody help! The water is flowing higher and higher. I feel myself moving downwards….down…down…
I hear a lot of noise. Is this heaven? Have I died? My eyes lay unopened as I struggle to verify what's around me. Voices….familiar voices….Ken, Omi, Yohji…. Oh God, if they're here, then this must be that other place. Wait, but they haven't died yet, have they? Must be due to lack of my leadership.
"He's breathing, guys! I think Aya's back!" Omi's tone shoots into my ears. Back? I'm back? Then that means I'm not dead after all?
"His eyes aren't opening though, and he's not moving. Are you sure? Maybe you should give him CPR or something?" I hear Yohji ask from a couple feet away. Immediately a rush of feet are heard, and what seems like a ton of girls come by, whispering and chatting noisily. Did Yohji say CPR before? Is that what the girls are for? No, I tell you, NO.
"I'm not sure Aya would like that too much, him being who he is and all." Thank God for Ken. At least someone here has a mind of reason.
"Then what? Omi, do you know any other methods for getting Aya conscious again?" Yohji ponders out loud.
"Well, I don't know any other way completely, but I did see something like this on TV. I think when the guy was waterlogged, another guy jumped on him or something to get the water out of his lungs. I know! Lets pounce on Aya so the water will come out! Everyone, get ready to leap as hard as you can on the count of three. One, two-"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
I spring to life in that bare second, roll over to the side, and grab a seashell in defense. Jump on me and you will find a long, pointy shell stuck up where the sun don't shine, even if it wanted to. All three guys immediately chant my name in unison and grin at me, happy to have me back. Hn. If they had been any happier, I would've ended up dead by now. I know how much these three eat, and do not want to feel the full force of their weight.
I glare at each of them, and then find myself horrified to be still wearing those magenta shorts, right out in the open. Seizing my pants, I slip them on halfway, then run to the car with black jeans flying everywhere, and a bright magenta flower exposed where my butt is suppose to be. I hide in the car for the rest of the day.
Never again am I going to the beach. Never, you hear me!?! The moment I get back to the Koneko I am setting those shorts on fire. Then feeding them to the Venus Fly Trap downstairs. One day I am going to sue the company that made those, and let them suffer my humiliation!
Rather sunburned and a bit hungry,
Aya