Title: Tap Tap

Chapter: 1/1

Author: Danyella Skyler Silverfire

Website: None

Rating: PG

Genre(s): Humor

Series/Series: Sequel to Squeak

Pairing(s): Possible future Will/Jack, or maybe the other way around, same with Norrington/Will, or maybe the other way around, or it might be a triad, I'm not sure.

Summary: Will, Jack, Elizabeth, and Norrington discussing....the night before.

Warnings: Bizarre humor, Jack bashing, Elizabeth bashing, Will being an ass. Mention of weirdness of all.

Disclaimer: I don't own them though I wish I did.

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*Tap* *Tap* *Tap*

E: "Will?"

*Tap* *Tap* *Tap*

W: "Yes Elizabeth?" *Distracted*

*Tap* *Tap* *Tap*

E: "Stop that." *Annoyed*

*Tap* *Tap* *Tap*

W: "Hmm...? What?" *Still distracted*

*Tap* *Tap* *Tap*

W: "Will, can you please stop the taping?"

W: "Tapping? What tapping?" *Confused*

E: "You have the habit of tapping your fingers when you read. It can become quite annoying."

W: "Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I'll stop." *Embarrassed*

E: "Thank you." *Pleased*

*Pause*

J: "That's it?!" *Indignant*

W: "Huh? What?" *Surprised*

E: "Excuse me?" *Startled*

J: "All Will get's is a warning. Not even a threat. While I get attacked. With tongs." *Indignant*

E: "Tongs?" *Squeaks*

W: "You wouldn't stop."

E: "Stop what?"

J: "I was just having me a bit of fun. You didn't have to go ruin it."

E: "Fun? What kind of fun?" *Squeaks*

W: "I did when you wouldn't stop. It was bugging me."

E: "Stop what?" *Annoyed*

J: "You weren't protesting when I started."

E: "Protesting what? Will you two stop ignoring me?" *Angry*

W: "I thought it was cute when you started. But it got extremely aggravating, very quickly."

*Pause*

E: "You thought what was cute?"

J: "Cute? I don't _do_ cute. I'm a bloody pirate, not some... some.... some....eh..."

E: *Laughter*

E: "Some... what?" *Curious*

J: "I forgot what I was going to say. And stop laughing, Will!" *Petulant*

W: "Your doing it again, Jack."

J: "Doing what?"

E: "Don't you two leave me out of the conversation again!" *Pouting*

W: "So is she."

E: "Fine. Just ignore me. I'm just feeding and housing you."

J: "What's she doing that I'm doing?"

W: "That thing."

J: "What thing?"

W: "The lip thing." *Annoyed*

E: "What lip thing?!" *Confused*

J: "Don't you dare even insinuate that again." *Scandalized*

W: "Don't ever let it be said that I a mere blacksmith, would ever accuse the brilliant Captain Jack Sparrow of...dare I say it...pouting." *Over dramatized* *Mocking*

E: "I do _not_ pout!" *Scandalized*

J: "Damn right. And I don't either." *Agreeing*

W: "You both are."

E & J: "I am not." *Simultaneous*

N: "Actually, I hate to say this Elizabeth, but Mr. Turner's correct." *Slightly bored*

J: "Hey! What about me?!" *Indignant*

N: "Like I care about what a pirate like yourself thinks?"

J: "Well I never." *Offended*

W: "Your doing that again, too." *Distracted tone*

J: *Indignant sputtering*

E: "Don't start that again, Will. Just tell me and try not to leave me out of the conversation again." *Annoyed*

W: "Nothing really. Just something Jack was doing last night."

N: "And just what was Mr. Sparrow doing last night?" *Curious*

J: "That's _Captain_ Jack Sparrow."

W: "Nothing that wasn't as childish as his usual." *Distracted*

*Tap* *Tap* *Tap*

J: "I'm not a child."

*Tap* *Tap* *Tap*

W: "I know, I know, your _Captain_ Jack Sparrow. Get over yourself already." *Distracted*

*Tap* *Tap* *Tap*

J: "Well I never." *Huffy*

*Tap* *Tap* *Tap*

W: "Stop imitating Norrington as well."

*Tap* *Tap* *Tap*

E: "What was Jack doing Will." *Angry*

*Tap* *Tap* *Tap*

W: "He was...Mmph." *Muffled*

J: "Now ye wouldn't be saying anything that would ruin ol' Jack's reputation would you?" *Threatening whisper*

N: "Mr. Sparrow! Unhand Mr. Turner at once." *Stuffy*

E: "Jack!" *Startled*

J: "Ump!"

W: "That was rude Jack." *Angry*

J: "Well ye didn't have to elbow me lad." *Annoyed*

W: "If you are going to act like a child I should treat you like one."

J: "I pity your child then if you would threaten them with tongs!"

W: "That was _all_ for you Jack."

J: "Why is it that everyone always forgets the Captain. It's always, Jack, or Sparrow, never Captain Jack Sparrow." *Mutters*

E: "Will just tell me what the thing with the tongs is before something else comes up!"

W: "I used tongs on the bed."

E: "What does the bed have to do with anything?" *Startled*

J: "Fine then just ruin me reputation. See if I care." *Mutters in disgust*

W: "He was jumping on the bed and wouldn't stop. So I stopped him."

E: "With _tongs_!?"

W: "It's better not to think about it."

J: "Yer just evil lad. Ye know that?"

W: "Well according to you and Elizabeth I'm a pirate, so I guess I would have to be evil."

N: "If it is not one thing with you Mr. Turner, it is the other."

J: "Indeed." *Pause* "Wait a second... who did I just agree with?!" *Horrified*

N: "Me." *Pleased*

W: "That's new. Anyway here you go Elizabeth. I've finished reading it."

E: "So what do you think?" *Querying*

W: "I think that you're insane. But that's not new, so I'll just say that it's interesting."

E: "I am not insane." *Indignant*

W: "Elizabeth, I have known you since we were ten. The entire time you have been obsessed with pirates. And not in a healthy way. So yes, I can rightly say that you are insane."

*Silence*

J: "I do _not_ look like that." *Indignant*

W: "There's a difference between a man and a woman pouting. But it's still close enough."

J: "I've never been so insulted."

W: "Jack, I have seen you called a woman by a sober priest, in broad daylight, while shirtless. I am just saying that you look feminine when you get that look. A total poof, but feminine."

E: "Really?" *Surprised*

J: "I thought we agreed never to talk about that lad."

W: "You agreed, I just laughed."

*Pause*

N: "Maybe if he shaved."

E: "Commodore!"

W: *Laughter*

J: "Why did I agree to come here!"

E: "Because you accepted my invitation to spend the holidays here."

J: "Oh, right. Damn Lizzy and her logic." *Mutters*

W: *Laughter*

J: "And will you stop laughing, lad! It's not that funny." *Pause* "I get no respect" *Mutters* "Fine, fine, I'll have a look see at this 'novel.'" *Exasperated*

E: "NO!" *Horrified*

J: "Come on, Lizzy. Ye let the lad read it."

E: "Well... He's read my writing before... he knows what to expect."

*Pause*

J: "It's terrible isn't it."

W: "Actually it's surprisingly good. I do _not_ want to know where she get's the information, or even the idea's from though."

*Pause*

J: "Know I really want to read it. Come on Lizzy! Let yer ol' friend Captain Jack Sparrow have a look see."

E: "No!"

J: "Ah, come on. I won't poke fun." *Whining*

E: "That is not it."

W: *Snorts* "That's for sure."

E: "What's that supposed to mean, William Turner." *Huffy*

N & J: "Oooo....she used your full name." *Simultaneous*

*Stunned silence*

E: "Did they just..."

W: "Uh-huh."

E: "Together?"

W: "Uh-huh."

*Embarrassed silence*

J: "Come on, Lizzy!"

E: "Don't start that again. Especially after saying the exact same thing as Commodore Norrington, at the exact same time."

J: "Come now, lass. That was an accident. Ye know that. It was a little to soon for us."

*Silence*

J: "It was something I said wasn't it?" *Confused*

W: "This is going to be a long day. And we just finished breakfast." *Mutters*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Author's Note: I know that was fucked. But you have to admit funny. And the sad thing is I can see it. Anyway Read, Review all that good stuff, but most of all tell your friends. Anyway, don't know if I should continue. Maybe I will. If properly motivated. Feel free to suggest anything you wish.