Disclaimer: All the characters in and/or associated with "Harry Potter" belong to J.K. Rowling, Scholastic, Raincoats Books, and Warner Bro.'s. Only Nadine and Andrew belong to us.
A/N: There will be absolutely no slash or twincest or anything in this, as that stuff is just icky and gross. There may be some jokes on peoples sexuality, but there will be NO and we mean NO slash. So if you need slash to survive please leave now.
Our Hogwart's Experience!
Nadine and Andrew stared at each other with looks of intense rage. They each held onto the object for dear life, never thinking of loosening grip, because in that case, it would fall victim to the others' fatal touch.
"Give it here, Andrew, or I'll kill you!" Nadine shouted over the background noise filling the room, to which they both thought was unpleasant.
"MOM SAYS IT'S **MY** TURN! Really Nadine, you'll just choose something gay!" And at that Andrew farted really loud. Nadine shot back in disgust, as Andrew clicked on some movie with the remote, Nadine pouting in the corner with her arms crossed on her chest.
________________________________________________________________________
Andrew and Nadine Albarn were twins. Not just any twins, no.
They were…
TROUBLEMAKERS! Ya, you heard me. Their trouble causing was known throughout the town of Blunder Gay, commonly misinterpreted as Thunder Bay. They attended Gorham's On Welfare, though the teacher's liked to call it Gorham and Ware to uphold the VERY little dignity this run down, mouldy school held. And that school was where these two evil twins were preparing to go, right now.
"Haha, Nadine you SUCK!" Andrew yelled through the crack in the bathroom door. She was currently standing in front of the mirror, precariously going over her makeup and hair to make sure they were perfect for Blame-y, who liked to tell others his name was Jamie so they wouldn't laugh. But Blame-y suited him so well! He was always forced to take the Blame, which Andrew thought was hysterical. "Trying to look good for Blame-y? Poor loser… what do you see in him, any ways? Because alls I see is a bunch of Blame, and a lot of stank!" At this, Nadine came tearing out of the bathroom, running after Andrew, trailing behind his laughter.
"HYPOCRIT!" Nadine screamed at him. He turned around, staring at her with a look of shock on his face.
"Hypocrite? How can I be hypocritical of him? Unless…I DON'T STANK!" Andrew yelled. Nadine laughed, and brushed him off with a wave of her hand.
"No, of course you don't, no one who uses Essence of Fart could EVER stink!"
"It's Essence of Calvin Klein!"
"Same difference!"
Just as Andrew and Nadine were going to get into a full-blown argument over Andrew's Essence, their mother called from the bottom of the stairs.
"Comon' you two! You're going to miss your bus!" Nadine and Andrew squealed and ran to get there things from their room, quickly shoving everything in their bags, and running through the door to the bus that was pulling up to their house. They ran towards it, shoving each other out of the way of the door. Just as they made their way to the mailbox, the assumed blind bus driver pulled away and started to drive. Nadine began screaming and yelling saying, I wish that bus would STOP one of these days, and to their surprise it did. They ran towards it, Andrew amazed that someone actually cared enough about them to ask the driver to stop. Nadine banged on the school bus door, and the driver opened it, cursing about malfunctioning buses.
"What's wrong with the bus?" One of the kids asked. A wave of "Yeah, what?"'s were heard after this, and Nadine looked bewildered at Andrew.
"So…no one told you to stop, and you didn't see us, it just… stopped?" Andrew asked curiously to the driver.
"Don't get all hyped up about magic, boy, all you kids got this big obsession with it! It's just a crappy bus, is all!" The bus driver furiously turned the key, and suddenly the bus turned on, roaring its engine like it had never broken down. Though they were told not to think about anything weird having to do with it, the bus driver looked nervously around the bus, before setting off again.
They arrived at the school, and Andrew and Nadine got off, walking around the building to their part of the grounds like every day. They would meet their group of friends, wait for the bell, and go inside to their homeroom teacher Mrs. Poopeau, who liked to call herself Mrs. Dubeau. The bell rang after about five minutes, and Nadine and Andrew picked up their things and walked inside the door, took off their shoes, and walked to their room. They were greeted by Mrs. Poopeau, Andrew said,
"Hey Mrs. Poopy! I mean….Mrs. Poopeau!" Nadine laughed hard, obviously aware this 'slip' was totally intentional. Mrs. Poopeau went beet red and muttered something about it being 'Mrs. DUBEAU'. She then walked over to her desk after Nadine and Andrew had settled in their seats, put together, as they WERE twins. Mrs. Poopeau walked over to the board and wrote her name (Mrs. Dubeau, as she had written it) on the board for some reason or another, as Nadine and Andrew sniggered. They whispered about it really being Poopeau, and looked on the board, an odd connection between them as they thought about her fraudulence about writing her completely hilarious name wrong. They seemed to be concentrating only on this, as suddenly everything went black. Suddenly, as if they were waking from a dream they came back to the world expecting everything to be perfect and ordinary, but the letters on the board had changed, they now read, Mrs. Poopeau, clearly as anything, as the students sat shocked as to what caused the letters to disfigure into her real name. Some started laughing, and Mrs. Poopeau, sensing an oncoming bit of fun, decided to put a stop to it.
"Alright, let's get those media assignments in, first group –gasp- WHO DID THIS?" She looked furiously at the board, and back at them, her face looking like a ripe tomato.
"WHO COULD OF GOTTEN UP HERE WITHOUT ME SEEING? DETENTION FOR ALL OF YOU UNTIL I GET AN ANSWER!" The class moaned, as none of them ACTUALLY HAD gone up there.
Later on in the day, while Andrew and Nadine sat at lunch, Tear came up to Andrew.
"Hey Andrew…you wanna'… talk?" She asked politely, although they both saw the mischievous glint in her eye.
"Yes, indeed I do have a few 'words' to say to you, Ms. Tear!" Andrew practically flew off his seat, excited with the chance to spend some 'alone time' with Tear. Just then, the bottom of her pants tore, but Andrew conveniently covered her bum with his hand. Nadine looked back at her food she was picking at, the mouldyness of it all. She sighed. What a disgusting school!
At the moment, Tear had taken Andrew up the stairs from the mudroom, to the storage closet above the Intermediate door. They began to make out, when Andrew heard creaking from the floorboards below him. He dismissed it, getting back to his tongue duty, when they cracked and they fell, one floor, two floors, Tear was screaming, and all he could think about was protecting her. He willed his mind, and they floated gently to the floor. This caused Tear to panic even more. She looked at him, and screamed,
"YOU, YOU, YOU FREAK! Get away from me! Don't ever come near me again!" She screamed as she flung open the door to the mudroom and ran away out of sight. Andrew felt a vein twitching in his forehead. This blasted school! He stalked off to find Nadine.
Meanwhile, Nadine was in the bathroom. She opened a stall to enter, when all of a sudden, ALL the toilets exploded! She was DRENCHED! And at that moment, the stalls all collapsed, and a puff of smoke (aka mould) emanated from it. She ran outside the bathroom coughing into the hall, as Blame-y stood there laughing.
"Oh Blame-y, please don't laugh! Get help!" Just then, Mr. Wrongsell, who liked to call himself Mr. Wrightsell, came walking. He liked to walk around this vicinity, because he loved entering the girls' bathroom! He walked inside it, ignoring the stares he was getting, and ran out gasping.
"My bathroom! My beautiful bathroom! Blame-y, what have you done?" He looked furiously at Blame-y, who pointed at Nadine.
"It was her, HER! NOT ME!" He was cut short by Mr. Wrongsell dragging him off. As Mr. Wrongsell got to the stairs, Blame-y could be seen mouthing the words 'I hate you' to Nadine. She turned around, a vein throbbing in her forehead. She stalked off to find Andrew, muttering things like, "This school is the crappiest and ugliest thing on the face of this earth and NOTHING works in this good for nothing mouldy piece of SHIT!"
They ran into each other in right in front of their homeroom. They were both equally pissed. They both started ranting and raving at how stupid and on welfare the school was. Blame-y and Tear came up here to apologize to Andrew and Nadine. Just then, a couple desks in the homeroom class had their tops catch on fire from nothing. People started screaming as there were people still being "taught". The last thing that Andrew and Nadine remember is telling Blame-y and Tear to get out, and they remembered that their voices had been about two octaves lower than they should have been. Even though Andrew and Nadine may not remember, Blame-y and Tear certainly remember what happened that horrible day...
...Andrew and Nadine after having given their warning then clasped hands and created a circle with their hands. They began to rise off of the ground where they floated about three feet off of the ground still with hands together. Tear and Blame-y noticed that their eyes had gone a solid onyx black before their heads looked up to the sky, as if they were jerked strongly from behind. Their hair was whipping wildly in a wind that couldn't have been felt. Then they let out an ear splitting scream, almost like a banshee. They rose into the air twirling around and as they went the ceiling just kind of disappeared. Blame-y and Tear ran out of the school having finally listened to the twins' warning. When they got out there, they saw something that will haunt their dreams for the rest of their lives. Andrew and Nadine had risen out of the school and had stopped about a few feet and were hovering over the school. When they stopped spinning and rising they unclasped their hands. They stared at each other for a minute or so and then turned back to back. They outstretched their hands and huge balls of scorching flames emitted from the palms of their hands. They turned around in circles continuing to fire balls of flame at the school until the whole thing was a roaring inferno. When they were satisfied that it was going up in flames, they appeared to walk on air and walked a safe distance and floated to the ground. As soon as their feet touched the ground they continued to fall and both collapsed.
Blame-y and Tear cautiously walked towards Andrew and Nadine. They screamed when the twins opened their eyes. The twins blinked and their eyes turned ocean blue, the only trait they had in common, although they were twins.. They got up nearly exhausted and couldn't figure out why the school was burning to ashes. They looked around and spotted Blame-y and Tear. Andrew went up to Tear and asked her what had happened. The only reaction he got was a scared whimpering noise, as she cowered away from him. He backed off worried about what had happened. Nadine decided to try her luck. She went up to Blame-y and asked what had happened. The reaction she got was he cowered away, but he didn't whimper instead he just stared at her as frightened as a mouse would have been if a starving cat had cornered it. She also backed off and stood as worried as Andrew. She turned to him, "Do you think we did this?" She asked, praying that he said no.
"Nadine I think we just might have caused this, but I don't remember a thing." He said as scared, as Blame-y appeared to be.
"You're damn right you caused this you-you-you FREAKS! Look at what your FREAKISHNESS DID! Tear run." Blame-y said, as he stepped in front of Tear, as she ran away. She turned around when she realized he wasn't following.
"Blame-y come with me they are evil and scary" Tear pleaded. He obliged with only that small amount of pleading. Nadine fell to the ground sobbing while Andrew tried to comfort her. It took about ten minutes for the fire trucks to prepare and leave. By then Nadine had stopped crying. How could this happen in the last week of June to these poor unfortunate fourteen year olds? When they got home they expected to be reprimanded or worried over, but what they got was neither...
...Yes their parents had gotten wind of the fact that it was indeed Nadine and Andrew that started the fire, as Blame-y and Tear had run here to tell the twins' parents to run. They were in fact slightly proud although slightly stumped. "I was hoping that your mother and my own wizarding lines had not gone down to squibs." Said their father. "Although I am really clueless, as to how you two managed to cast *together* and not just that, but so powerfully." Their mother was beaming proudly at the twins.
"You mean that we're…wizards?" Asked Nadine tentatively.
"Well technically YOU are a witch and your brother is a wizard, but the principle is the same." Explained their father smiling. "I expect a wizarding school to be sending you an owl, personally I hope you get one from Hogwart's. Your mother and I both went to Hogwart's."
"OK, stop and start at the beginning. Hog-wart's? Owl? You both can do magic? Why did you keep this all from us?" Asked Nadine who was beginning to get mad at her parents.
"We understand why your mad, but we did it for your own good." Said their mother sympathetically.
"Oh, really how can it be for our own good when we unknowingly just burned our school to cinders?" Asked Andrew starting to get ticked, even though he usually has a fairly calm demeanor.
"Well when a squib is told about wizard stuff they get disappointed at what they are missing and you didn't show any magical potential. I suppose it was all leading up to a big show of magical proportions. I kind of wish that it had been earlier and a bit smaller, but I'm just glad that you are magical." Said their mother proud.
"Now, Sammy, don't overload the children." Said their father.
"Oh, I suppose you're right as usual Alan." Sighed their mother. They had yet to notice that the twins had already fallen asleep on the floor from exhaustion. "Well look at that, they used even more power than You-Know-Who has ever used, in one spell. I wonder if they can help the cause." Wondered Samantha aloud.
"Well only time will tell, but for now let's get these children up to bed." Suggested Alan. He took out his wand, "Boy I haven't used this in a while." He said stroking his wand. "Oh, well! Wingardium Leviosa." As the kids floated in the air he followed to tuck them in. "I think they will be asleep all night with that much power used." Said Alan.
"Well then come out of there and let them rest." Said Samantha amused. They left the twins to sleep.
The next morning
The family was sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast, while Alan and Samantha were telling their kids some stuff about the wizarding world, when something flew into their kitchen through their window. It swooped around the kitchen table, trying to slow down, it would seem, until it finally landed gracefully onto the shoulder of their father.
"Oh, Serendipity, I never thought I'd see you again! Oh, Hogwarts letters! They will be attending Hogwarts dear!" Although their parents seemed absolutely ecstatic about an owl flying through the window, Nadine had just clutched Andrew's shoulders painfully, and he had looked extremely puzzled at the bird which was now being fed scraps from the table, like any member of the family.
"Uh, dad, is this what you were talking about, getting our…owl?" Nadine asked, after letting go of the death grip she had on Andrew's shoulder, much to his pleasure. Their mother and father beamed, just as Alan took the two letters attached to the Owl's legs. He gave the first one gingerly to Andrew, who studied it like a bank looking for phony bills, and gave the second one to Nadine, who looked down at the letter like if she touched it she would blow up.
"Well, go ahead, their not poisonous!" Their mother squealed, with a huge smile on her face. They opened the letters with care, to reveal a piece of paper, not really like paper at all. It was yellow-y, and this caused Andrew to yell out,
"They use PARCHMENT? HOW **OLD** IS THAT?" This caused Nadine to start laughing over her cereal bowl until she was coughing milk and sneezing cheerios. Andrew then took out the parchment very carefully, afraid it would tear (no pun intended). Nadine followed suit, but visibly less careful when she took out her letter. They stared down at the neat handwriting.
"They don't even use COMPUTERS?" Nadine practically screamed. Their mother and father exchanged frightened looks. Andrew let out some kind of noise, and Nadine looked over. He was deeply immersed in that stupid letter. She began to read as well.
Dear Nadine (Or Andrew, if that is who you want to imagine reading the letter now…)
We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected to attend Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As I have been informed, your parents have now disclosed the information of your being magical. Though I wish you'd of shown your abilities in a more safe way, instead of burning down your school and killing all but 2 muggles, it would seem you are very powerful indeed, and have some kind of connection between each other, the likes of which has never been seen before. You will arrive at Hogwarts in the beginning of July, so you may catch up to your fellow fifth years. This WILL be difficult, seeing as you have five years worth of magic to obtain. Your list of books and other objects needed is enclosed. Have a happy 2 weeks of summer!
Professor M. McGonagall
Andrew looked down at this list and sighed.
"Dad, I have NO clue what any of this stuff is, do you? And do they accept our money?" Their dad laughed and said,
"Yes, I know what these things are. And no, they don't accept muggle money." Nadine looked up from her list, too, and they both raised their eyebrows at their father.
"Uh…muggle? This Professor said that in the letter… what the hell is a muggle?" Andrew asked. After being scolded by his mother for cursing, his father went on.
"A muggle is a non-magical person. For years, he believed you were squibs, or even worse, muggle. But, of course, we loved you all the same. You have no idea how happy we are you are magical, and best of all, were accepted into the best school of witchcraft and wizardry EVER! And by the way, we will be going today to get your things. I don't think we'll travel all the way to Diagon Alley, no, there's a portal to "Kaministiquia Alley" out by "Kakabeka Falls." This earned him more confused looks, and even some that looked like they questioned his sanity. He laughed.
"You best get ready, your mother and I will warm up the car." Nadine and Andrew got up slowly, without the usual pushing and shoving to get up the stairs. They walked up the stairs into their room.
"Andrew, get lost while I change."
"No, you use the bathroom!"
"Andrew, come on! Go away!"
"This is as much my room as it is yours!" It seemed they got over their initial shock of being found out to be a witch and wizard, because soon they were strangling each other on the floor. Finally, Andrew got up and huffed and puffed as he took his clothes into the bathroom to change. Nadine grinned widely as she got ready.
Soon, they were off in the car, heading up the highway towards Kakabeka.
"So uh, mom, how do we, uh, get into this, err, portal?"
"Easy, dear! Your father and I have been doing it for years! I will open a hole in the bridge across the falls with my wand, and we will jump in!" Andrew and Nadine shocked and started to scream about how they were 'never going to do that in a million years', even though their mother assured them it would be safe. They simmered down, too scared to talk, as they stared at the various farms they were passing. Once they got to the falls and paid the parking thing, they were off to the bridge. Nadine and Andrew walked a considerable distance behind, as their parents looked around for 'muggles'. Then, their mother took out a pointy stick, pointed it at the bridge, muttered some EXTREMELY odd word, and a hole had opened, wide enough to fit two people. Once Nadine and Andrew let their curiosity overcome them, they ran over to see the hole.
"You two jump in first, your mother and I will be right behind you. All you must do is, jump. You won't hit water, don't worry Nadine your ears will be fine. You will land on the ground, so brace yourself." Andrew looked down at the rushing water below him, feeling somewhat ill. Nadine was latched on to their mother, crying about not wanting to go. Their parents made them hold hands, much to their chagrin, as they jumped. But they did not feel the rushing water below. When they had opened their eyes, they were looking down at a dirt road, with sidewalks and shops on either end. People were bustling up and down the street, impervious to the two 14 year olds who had just landed on the street. Nadine and Andrew both looked up at the sky where they had fallen. It was normal. But all of a sudden, a seam opened like a zipper. Out fell their parents. They got up and shook themselves off. Then their mother turned to them.
"Everything went well? Good. Your father and I decided we would let you wander around by yourselves, everything on your lists should be simple enough to find. Meet us back here in 2 hours. Here's some money…" She pulled out some odd looking coins, thrust it into their hands, and were off. They stared at each other. Then Nadine spoke.
"Uh…Andrew, I have NO clue where we are, NO clue what to do and NO clue what these things are!" She showed him the gold, silver and bronze coins in her hand. Then he looked at her devilishly.
"Nadine," he started as he shook her shoulders, "We have two hours to explore! Do you KNOW how much we can do? This will be so exciting!" He had a huge grin on his face, and she just smiled weakly as he dragged her off. They walked down the road and saw a large crowd in front of a shop, so they decided to go over and check it out. They got to the crowd and heard someone gasp and another person, a man say,
"Well I think he needs to look at broomsticks more often." At this Andrew screwed up his face and looked at Nadine who just looked back in puzzlement.
"Why would we want a broomstick I can see why queers would like it, but I doubt everyone here is a homo." He whispered so no one else heard. Nadine began giggling and was told to be quiet by several people. "Well I don't know about you, but I don't care about some dumb old broom-" He was cut off from some one ahead of him saying,
"Dumb old broom. Who said that about the Nimbus 2003?" At his words people parted and pointed to Andrew. "Come here boy and see what this "dumb old broom" can do." Andrew hesitantly went up to the man who shoved a different broom, but obviously of the same make into his hand. "Now go on and fly."
"Fly! I'm sorry, but fly? Ha! I doubt it." Andrew said, although interested in how he could fly on a broom.
"You must not be a muggle, but are you a squib?" He said looking as if he was sizing Andrew up. Nadine took this moment to come to Andrew's defense.
"Well we WERE squibs, but our magical power came out yesterday-" She began screaming at the man, but she was cut off from the people around them screaming and backing away.
"Oh, dear MERLIN! It's the twins that burned down their school!" Someone near the front yelled. Andrew and Nadine began to get nervous. "I remember their picture in the Daily Prophet! They are evil people! Even You-Know-Who couldn't have done that." By now the crowd had enlarged with people who wanted to get a glimpse of the twins who burned down an entire building without wands and with just their physical beings. The man who had given Andrew the broom was still not scared.
"Well considering you probably don't know how to ride a broom-" He began, but was cut short by the fact that Andrew had gotten on his broom. He just lifted into the air and did a straight ascent. He stopped about 50 feet in the air.
"Hey Nadine this is GREAT! They really DO work." He flew in circles for a minute before he landed. He handed Nadine the broom, "You have GOT to try it." Nadine took the broom and got on. She seemed even more comfortable than Andrew as she lifted into the air. She flew around in circles then flew straight up and out of sight. "Oh, great here we go again. SHOW OFF!" Andrew yelled at the top of his lungs. She came plummeting down and everyone thought she wasn't going to stop. Everyone, but Andrew. He just stood there with a bored expression. She pulled up at the last possible second and her feet touched the ground. The man looked astounded.
"For people who have never flown before you look awfully comfortable on those brooms. I think we have a few born Quidditch players." He said with a smile crinkling the lines around his eyes.
"Qui-ditch?" Asked Nadine. Andrew was looking at the man with the same puzzled expressions.
"Oh, right, right you wouldn't know. It's a sport almost like your soccer, but played on brooms. I think this broom has found it's master anyways." He pointed to the lettering on the handle of the broom which had spelt out Nadine Albarn. "Well that can never be changed. So I must give it to you. That is yours. And you," He said turning to Andrew, "I think it is fitting to give you a broom as well." He handed a Nimbus 2003 to Andrew and as soon as his hand touched the handle gold lettering appeared just like on Nadine's except slightly different, as it said Andrew Albarn. "Well this is interesting. Well my name is Zordet and I run Quidditch Supplies 'R' Us. If you need anything you know where to find me." He turned and walked back into his store. The crowd took this time to disperse.
"Hmm, well that was unexpected." Said Nadine who was carrying her broom with a little too much pride. They decided to look for stuff on their list. "It says we need wands." The twins burst out laughing at the wands. "Well here we are. Odd I don't think it was here before." They went in and it was eerily dark and smelt of weird things. They walked up to the counter and touched the wand that lay there. Their hands touched the wand at the same time and it exploded. A man came out of the back.
"Hmm, please refrain from touching wands together. I doubt there is a wand that has ever been made that can support your combined powers. I think this should do Miss. Nadine would you be so kind as to give this wand a wave?" He handed her a wand and she waved it. Some sparks came out and made some parchment catch on fire. "No that can't be it." He said as he put out the fire with his own wand. They kept going through wands and finally..."Mahogany, 11 inches, dragon's breath core." He handed her a wand. She waved it and golden sparks came out and nothing caught on fire. "Good, good. You're twins right. Yes of course you are. He handed Andrew a wand the exact same, as Nadine had. The same golden sparks came out of the wand Andrew held. "Good, good, yet odd. Those wands are very specific. I don't think I have ever yet given a dragon's breath wand. Those wands are excellent for four things: transfiguration, charms, creating fire, and ice." At the last word Nadine looked uncertainly at Andrew. He shook his head slightly and she waved her hand to dismiss it. A whole shelf of wands came crashing down at where she gestured.
"Um, I think we had better go before we destroy everything." Nadine said to Andrew. They paid and left. Andrew walked in front. He didn't reach for the door it just swung open by itself.
"Those two are powerful, maybe even more so than You-Know-Who." The wand seller muttered to himself after they left.
Andrew looked down at the list of items, "Hmm, there are a lot of books here do you think we should get them now?"
"Well I think we should get our cauldrons first, so we have a place to put the books." Said the sensible Nadine. They went over to the store for cauldrons, "Gooey Potions Supplies". "Well that store needs to be less homoish." She said as they went in. They looked around and saw all sorts of things that they thought never to have existed. They didn't know exactly what they were looking for, but thankfully Nadine had enough common sense to ask the woman behind the counter for help.
"Hogwart's. Well that is slightly odd, but I still have what you need. I'm surprised you aren't going to Goose's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hogwart's is better though, I must admit." She took the list and put a cauldron in their each of their hands and began placing items in a container that had many different compartments. She finished in only five minutes, so they paid and left the store with the door doing the same thing it did in the wand store, except slightly harder. They now went to "Bourish and Flott's". This time they decided to wander around a bit and look at everything. They came to a stop at a stand that held what looked to be a newspaper. On the front was a moving picture of the twins. They picked up the paper and read the article about them...
Twins burn down school and kill many muggles
Yesterday at the muggle school of Gorham & Ware Nadine and Andrew Albarn had a little epidemic with control of magical powers. They burned down the entire school laughing all the while and had no feeling of regret. They took no notice of the fact that they had just killed about 250 people and they just laughed. They seem evil and are apparently still thinking about killing more.
They read that and no more as the stand and all the copies of the newspaper had spontaneously combusted. A man behind them obviously reading the newspaper yelled and dropped the burning paper. "Did we do that?" Andrew asked Nadine.
"I think we just might have, but that was mean. We are NOT murders!" The last was a yell which got attention from almost all the customers in the store. A scream was heard and the door was opened and closed quickly. A man that obviously worked there tried to calm everyone while Nadine and Andrew walked into a different aisle. They saw that they had walked into an aisle that had a cage of books that were eating each other. "That's barbaric." Said Nadine.
"I think it's neat and cute." Andrew went up and touched the cage and all the books looked up at him and stopped fighting and tearing the others to shreds. The man that had calmed everyone down had come to help them, but when he saw what Andrew had done with The Monster book of Monsters he stopped dead in his tracks.
"How-how-how did you do that? I have never seen ANYONE calm them like that before. They are like animals that hate each other." He was astounded and everyone else that had saw was too.
"Well if they are like animals, then you just answered your own question. I seem to have this way with animals and they just do what I say." Explained Andrew. He turned back to the cage and pulled two books out. "It says here we each need a copy of this book." He put his hand back in and one of the books LICKED his hand. "Oh, there's a good boy." Another book came up and licked his hand, "Good girl."
"How do you know that they are a boy and a girl?" Asked the man.
"Well you said they were like animals so I looked for alight differences and you can see that the girls have a bit duller teeth while the boys have very sharp teeth. In fact I'm amazed they haven't gotten through this cage." He explained calmly. Everyone, but Nadine just stared at him, as if he had grown a second head. "Well anyways Nadine let's go look for the rest of our books." The twins walked off. "Um, Nadine did you see who wrote that article?" Nadine having forgotten the article looked at him and snapped.
"As a matter of fact yes I did. Her name was Rita Skeeter and I really want to get my hands around her neck and just choke her." They had walked into the aisle for what appeared to be charms. She lifted her hand to the books they needed and said "Come". Two books floated into her hand and she put one in her cauldron and one in Andrew's. Then they walked into an aisle with weird pictures of animals turning into goblets and such. He grabbed two and they headed off into another aisle. Andrew went totally rigid and said with an odd voice.
"Through this aisle is death and decay. Do not tread here or fate will laugh while you suffer." He blinked and said in a normal voice, "Did I go to sleep?" Nadine had gotten frightened and decided to pull him into a different aisle. All of a sudden the bookshelf that they had been not a moment ago collapsed and a witch that had been on the other side dropped a potion on the ground.
"My decaying potion!" Nadine was now very scared. Had Andrew just made a prediction or was he just playing her and did that himself. They got to a place where there were books on flowers, plants, weeds and anything else that grew in soil. They grabbed their books and decided to hurry up. They finished their shopping in there with still an hour before they had to meet their parents at the entrance to Kaministiqua Alley. They went to a robe shop and got fitted and bought themselves robes. They were nearly done and all they needed was a familiar. They went to "Exotic Creatures for all Magical Purposes".
"Nadine why do all of these shops have homo like names?" She just shrugged as they entered and stopped abruptly at seeing all the creatures that were there. They saw a little kitten. They walked up to it and petted its head. It woke up and rubbed its head against Nadine's hand. A kitten that looked quite similar to the tiny kitten came and rubbed Andrew's hand. He laughed saying, "They're twins. How fitting." "I want this cat please miss." He had turned and addressed the lady behind the counter who had been watching them closely.
"Alright and would your twin there like the cat's twin?" She asked.
"Yes I would actually." She started to go toward the counter, but Andrew took both the cats up to the counter. The birds and rats and cats, etc. were making so much noise it was deafening. The lady behind the counter yelled,
"They're just jealous." She watched as Andrew went by each cage. At every cage whatever was in there went quiet immediately. By the time he got to the counter the store was completely quiet. "You seem to have an unnatural affinity with animals. I think I may just let you have those kittens for free, as I am happy to know they will be well taken care of." He handed her some sickles and galleons, but she just put it back in his hand. "I said they were free. Did I not? Take them. I'm amazed not even I could get those two to even look at me." The twins grabbed their stuff and walked out. The door opened like in all the other shops, but a little too hard. The door flew away and landed five feet from the door frame. They apologized and together lifted the door into the air with their hand gestures and placed it into place.
"Powerful, I wonder whether they will be an asset or the downfall of us all." She said to herself, as the animals began making the deafening noise that they had been doing all day.
"I think we should go get something to eat." Said Nadine.
"I agree, but where?" Andrew asked no one in particular.
"Well I must say that the ice cream shop just over there is good, but the candy store just down the street is great, if a little expensive." A man who happened to be sitting down on a bench said.
"Thank you sir"
"No problem." They decided to go to the ice cream, as it was sweltering outside. They sat down and placed their stuff gently on the ground. They ordered a "flying jellybean" flavoured ice cream. It was apparently supposed to make you lift off the ground after eating. They began to eat and they floated off their chairs slightly. It was uncomfortable to eat that way so they just muttered "Down" and they were sitting as if nothing had happened. They saw people who had to take their ice cream with them into the air, as they were above the table. They finished their ice cream and decided to explore for the last thirty minutes that were left. They walked down to the candy store and looked at everything with suspicion. Nadine being an outgoing person took a box of Bertie Botts' Every Flavour Beans and paid for it. The lady warned them that when it said "Every Flavour", it meant every flavour.
By the time they finished the candy they had eaten a few gross flavoured ones, but they were still good. They now knew to stay away from the colour of "apple juice".
They were five minutes late to meet their parents. Their parents weren't overly worried. They saw the brooms and got mad, instead of for being late. "Did you get all of your stuff second hand, those brooms look expensive."
"Well they *would* have been expensive if we hadn't gotten them for free. And to answer your other question. No we didn't get anything second hand." Nadine said rather smugly.
"Free? That's preposterous. We are going to take this up with Zordet." Samantha nearly snapped.
"Let's go then." Said Andrew leading the way. On the way he nearly walked into someone, but he seemed to go right through them. Nadine just laughed at their parents' faces at how he did that without knowing how and without a wand. They got to Quidditch Supplies 'R' Us and their parents began demanding an explanation from Zordet.
"Well your son said something that made me challenge him to fly. Then he handed the broom to his sister and by the time she had come down the broom had marked itself as hers. I couldn't be unfair and not give your son a broom. They got them for free yes and I will not accept money for them. Thanks in the forms of them making their house teams is enough for me." Explained Zordet. By the end of his explanation Sam and Alan had been shocked at Zordet the stingy greedy person GAVE them brooms.
"Well in any case we had better get going." Announced Alan.
"OK." The twins said in unison. They looked at each other and shared an evil grin. They walked out first and made the door fly off again. Their parents had taken out their wands, but they weren't needed. Andrew and Nadine put the door back like they had in "Exotic Creatures for all Magical Purposes". Their parents just stared dumbstruck. The twins laughed their heads off and some people stopped to make sure the people laughing were actually sane. Their parents followed them a few seconds later still confused how they had done that without their wands and they hadn't even learned one magic spell yet.
Eventually they got back to the entrance of Kaministiqua Alley (Kam Alley) without more power show offs from the twins. They double checked everything with their parents and found they had everything they needed, so they opened the hole at the top of the "sky". The "zipper" opened and a platform was raised and they stepped onto it. It rose into the air and brought them back into the muggle world. They put their stuff in the trunk and got into the car. They kept the kittens with them and an argument took place...
"NADINE! Really I'm naming mine Apollo and if they are twins then you HAVE to name yours Artemis or you're gay." Whined Andrew.
"Well too bad Andrew I'm naming my precious kitten Andromeda. And nothing you can do is going to change that so humph." She said turning her head slightly.
"How about this if this sickle thing lands on heads you name it Andro-meda, but if it lands on tails then you have to name it Artemis." Pleaded Andrew.
"Alright." They didn't notice, but they each got a slightly mischievous glint in their eyes. Andrew flipped the coin with one hand and with the other turned it to the flying coin. Unbeknownst to him Nadine had thought of the same dirty trick. Their hands willed the coin to land on both sides. It landed on its side, but they didn't stop telling it to land. The sickle blew up from indecision. "Hmm, maybe we should refrain from making things blow up, as fire and explosions seem to be our specialty."
Over the next two weeks they found out just how right Nadine was. Every spell that involved fire in any shape way or form was learned with one try, on the other hand, every spell that involved water without fire they had a lot of trouble with. Eventually they also found out, that Nadine had a strong knack for charms while Andrew could perform transfiguration without fault. They may have separated there, but in things like potions they were equal. However in History of Magic they both sucked. They couldn't remember the dates and the names jumbled up all together. The Monster Book of Monsters opened with a word from Andrew.
Unfortunately two weeks came and went. They found out how much they really liked magic. They had to go to London to get on the train to Hogwart's. Their parents got them airplane tickets and they had their last sight of high technology when they left the airport. They got to King's Cross Station and got their ticket for..."Platform 9 and 3/4!? That is retarded! You do know that right?" Complained Andrew.
"Well see the barrier for Platform nine and ten?" Asked Alan. Always patient now.
"Well duh I DO have eyes. What we have to go through that?" Asked Nadine sarcastically. The joke was on her, when her parents nodded.
"Try to look inconspicuous." Pleaded their mother. They shared a grin and said,
"OK, but only if you don't question our methods. Muggles won't see us." They explained. Their parents were slightly confused, but nodded, as they trusted their children. Their children turned and as they did they closed their eyes. When they opened them again they were black. They turned themselves and anything that they were touching ethreal. They walked forward and went through the barrier to a slightly crowded, but not overly so platform. They were mostly adults. There was one child their age. He walked towards them and saw the eyes.
"It's you! You're the twins from the Daily Prophet. My name is Rudolf Polder. I'm going to Hogwart's too. My ability came out, but obviously not in such power as yours." Said Rudolf.
"URGH! I swear I'm going to STRANGLE that Skeeter woman. She will NOT get away with this." Nadine promised to the air. Rudolf backed away.
"Don't worry she just is really mad that the article was written so poorly. We really aren't evil murderers. As you probably already know I'm Andrew and this is Nadine Albarn. Nice to meet you Rudolf. Um, what did you do?" Asked Andrew
"Well I made my relative that I don't like fly around the room in circles at dinner." Replied Rudolf who still looked oddly at Nadine.
They heard a first call for boarders when their parents finally came through. "Kids, do you think you can change back to a more corporeal form?" Alan asked. They looked down at themselves and laughed. As they laughed they changed back.
"Without a wand that is VERY powerful magic. I don't think I have seen anyone be able to do that before. I suppose you might need the wands only for focal pointing. May I introduce myself-" She was cut off by Alan.
"Professor McGonagall?" He asked.
"Well, well Alan Albarn. You know your dad was quite the troublemaker in his time. He once made my hat dance around my head." Andrew laughed while Alan blushed and Nadine pulled out her wand.
"That's easy. Simple charm." She pointed the wand at her hat. Tangoeous. The hat on the professor's head began to dance. She waved her hand and it sat still. The hat had brought a laugh from not only Andrew, but another teacher who came up.
"That was excellent Miss. Albarn. It was a good charm that is supposed to be above you and Minerva nice hat." He was still laughing.
"Yes well if we are done making my hat do things, hats aren't meant to be doing." She stopped there.
"Um, Professor McGonagall? What subject do you teach?" Asked Nadine. Andrew was still laughing hard at the hat dancing so he was in no shape to be asking questions.
"Transfiguration my dear." She replied. Andrew sobered up immediately.
"Transfiguration? Excellent." He pointed his wand at the short teacher who was introducing himself to Alan as Professor Flitwick. A light shot out of it and the hat had become a big fat red rat. He quickly turned it back before it could scurry far.
"That's impressive. Minerva I think little Hermione might have some competition this year." Said Flitwick
"Her-my-knee? Is that a thing?" Asked Andrew. Nadine punched him in the arm for "Being such a pig-headed rude insufferable brat"
"No, no Hermione. She is a student in your year who has been at the top of her class. I suppose she has gotten her prefect badge already." Said Flitwick. Rudolf was entranced by the magic the twins had just performed. They heard another call and thought it best to put their things into a compartment. They, Rudolf, and the two professors they met were in the same compartment, as the train now was much smaller than the one for the students, or so Professor McGonagall had told them. They said good-bye to their parents who made them promise not to get in trouble.
"Oh, we promise not to get into TOO much trouble, but otherwise it just isn't fun." They said nearly together.
"Well in any case if we make our house Quidditch teams will you come to a match?" Asked Nadine who was psyched about a sport on brooms.
"We might have to come to all them and watch you beat the other teams." Said Samantha chuckling.
"What makes you think they would certainly make their teams?" Asked Flitwick.
"Well Zordet from Kam Alley gave them brooms for such a spectacular flying try. It was their first times on brooms." Explained Samantha.
"Zordet! Well Minerva I hope at least one of them is on my team, as you already have Harry Potter AND the Weasley twins." Said Flitwick.
"Oh, you are head of a house?" Asked Nadine.
"Yes Ravenclaw as a matter of fact." Nadine squealed.
"Wise old Ravenclaw I hope I'm there. I heard they were great at charms." She said.
"Why thank you." Flitwick replied slightly gloatingly.
"Well kids you had better get on the train." Said Alan who had heard last call. They got onto the train, took their seats and the train almost immediately began to rumble away from the station. The last thing they heard from their parents was "Don't get in too much trouble."
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A/N
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