Having arranged his face in what he hoped was an appropriate expression, Remus allowed his mind to go to work trying to process what had just happened. He reviewed what Dumbledore had told him – Catherine Clare was her real name, and she had no memory of having met him. Obviously, Cassandra Celarevos had been an alias. Dumbledore had said at the time that she was there on a highly sensitive mission for the Order, so this was certainly understandable.
Remus glanced quickly at Cassie – Catherine, he corrected himself silently – before returning his gaze to Dumbledore.
The question remained whether her memory of the time they spent together had been removed voluntarily – perhaps by Dumbledore as a security measure, which would indicate that her work was even more important than he had realized – or involuntarily, possibly accidentally but more likely in combat. The Headmaster was not going to tell him any more than he had, so Remus regretfully acknowledged that he wasn't likely ever to know what had happened in November.
When he thought about this, Remus decided it wasn't such a terrible thing. He had enjoyed spending time with her, despite the constraints imposed by the secretive nature of her mission, and he had missed her more than he should have in the ensuing months. Now he had a chance to get to know her all over again, but without the same restrictions as before. He was being given an opportunity to discover the answers to some of the questions he had previously been forbidden to voice. She had seemed to like him well enough before, so there was every reason to hope that they could become friends again. All he had to do was act as though they had never met.
Having resolved this much in his own mind, Remus really did turn some of his attention to the progress of the meeting. He had not expected to do much more than observe and absorb during this, his first meeting back after a long absence, as he was no longer current on the Order's activities.
He was pleased – and a little impressed – to note that Catherine Clare was obviously an accepted and respected member of the team. When she spoke during their discussions, even Moody listened attentively, and Severus Snape seemed to regard her with very slightly less scorn than he accorded most other members of the wizarding community.
This was even more of an accomplishment considering that she could not have openly started attending meetings until after the completion of her earlier mission. As far as the other members were concerned, she had only been active a short time. If Dumbledore was so insistent on secrecy with respect to her previous mission, he was hardly likely to have informed the rest of the team that she had been working for the Order longer than they realized.
A thought occurred to him, and he glanced at Severus. The Potions Master had also known her in November; he had obviously been involved in her mission in some way. Was that mission the source of his unusual lack of dislike where she was concerned, or had his memory of that time been eliminated as hers had?
Remus was jolted out of his reverie as he realized that the topic of the meeting had switched to where Harry would be spending the summer. He needed to spend a certain amount of time with the Dursleys, but later in the summer it was possible that he could have a break from them in a secure enough location. The threat from Voldemort had only intensified over the past year, and the latest defeat he had suffered at Harry's hands had done nothing to alleviate the danger to the young man still known as "The Boy Who Lived."
This year, the discussion centered around Stone House and Hogwarts, although there was a third camp who thought that Harry should remain with the Dursleys for the full period of the summer holiday.
"Hogwarts has always been the best place I can think of to safeguard anything of value," Kingsley Shaklebolt was saying in his rich, deep voice. "Harry should be fairly comfortable there, and it's certainly well-defended."
"Hogwarts defenses are normally quite good, but the school is nearly vacant during the summer months," Minerva McGonagall responded. "Protecting Harry during the school year, with a full staff plus the students, is quite a different matter from protecting him during the summer when the building is nearly deserted."
"It must also be noted that most of the wizarding community attended school there themselves," Severus Snape pointed out. His tone of voice was not quite as menacing as that he used in the classroom, but the underlying sneer was still there. "There are countless witches and wizards who know its location, layout – in some cases, including the secret entrances to the school – " his eyes rested meaningfully on Remus Lupin " - and its defenses. Unless we can be assured that all the aforementioned witches and wizards can be trusted, I must reluctantly suggest that we consider the alternatives."
"Stone House has some good defenses as it stands at the present time," Dumbledore interjected quietly, "however these would be weakened by making the house Unplottable, which must be taken into consideration."
"How could the defenses be weakened by making it Unplottable?" Minerva queried with a frown. "It's a good, sound spell, and effective on any inanimate structure."
"Nevertheless, it is not suitable for use at Stone House," Dumbledore told them with an air of finality. "It is only that particular aspect of the normal run of protection spells which is at issue, however. In most other regards, I believe that the defenses should be reasonably effective. What is your opinion, Alastor?"
"The anti-jinx layer needs updating - won't protect against the newest jinxes and that latest one just out of Bulgaria's nothing for amateurs to try to handle - but the foundation wards are nice and solid," Moody told them gruffly. "Updating the anti-jinxes is something we can address, but the real key is always the wards. Can't do much to improve things unless you've got the fundamentals in place. These are nice and old, aren't they? Must be what, thirteenth century?" he demanded.
"Early fourteenth, actually," Catherine Clare said quietly.
"Well maintained," he said, with the air of one making a great concession. "Tightly sealed, and pretty consistent. You expect more fluctuation in some of these older ones - only stands to reason - but I can't say I've found it here. If you're going to put him somewhere, this place - once I've attended to a few things - is probably as safe as any place else but his home." The aging Auror's real eye regarded Dumbledore keenly.
"That doesn't mean I don't still think he ought to stay with those Muggle relatives of his for the rest of the summer," Moody added.
"You can't be seriously suggesting Harry should be forced to stay with those people any longer than absolutely necessary," Molly Weasley protested. "You've met them, you know how they've treated him!"
"Have met 'em, and put the fear of my wand in 'em too," Moody retorted. "They're not going to seriously mistreat him this summer any more than they did the last. May not be happy, but he won't be happy dead either."
"We also need to consider how we're going to get him to his destination - whatever that may be," Kingsley Shaklebolt said, easily redirecting the conversation. "There was a positive report from at least one patrol shift almost every day he was in that house last summer - and when I think of what wasn't found and reported, and what it nearly cost us - well, it's enough to give anyone nightmares! We know there's already movement afoot to put Apparition traps in place around Privet Drive, hoping to catch him that way now that he's got his license."
"Do we have any information about what Voldemort expects us to do?" Catherine asked, apparently addressing Severus. Snape shook his head.
"Not at this time," the Potions Master replied. He hesitated a moment before adding, "I believe he too may be awaiting further information before making his decision."
Catherine Clare appeared to retire from the discussions after this, observing the continuing debate thoughtfully, but without further comment. Remus refrained from expressing any opinion as well until Dumbledore spoke up and addressed him directly.
"What do you think, Remus?"
"I don't think we should make a decision until we have some idea what Harry wants to do," he said simply. "He is old enough to have his wishes taken into consideration."
"Harry Potter is arrogant and irresponsible," Snape retorted with a sneer, ignoring Dumbledore's warning frown. "I see no reason to inquire of him unless we intend to do the opposite of whatever he suggests."
"He is no such thing!" Minerva immediately jumped to his defense, glaring at Snape with open annoyance she repressed when students were present. "Harry Potter – "
"Harry will be seventeen shortly," Dumbledore interjected rather thoughtfully, cutting her off. "Why don't we table this discussion until the next meeting, shall we? I will have a word with Harry in the interim. Anything else?" No one spoke. "Then we are adjourned until next week."
Much to Remus' surprise, Cassie – Catherine, he reminded himself again – made her way to his side very soon after the official business concluded, pausing only for a brief word with Dumbledore. He noted distractedly that her hair was a little longer and styled somewhat differently – it brushed her shoulders rather loosely now rather than clinging to the nape of her neck – and had to dismiss the thought to focus on what she was saying.
"I was hoping for a chance to speak with you privately at some point, but I have another appointment shortly. Is there a time when it would be convenient for me to call on you?" she asked him directly.
"Perhaps we could speak either before or after the next meeting?" Remus suggested.
"If you could give me a few minutes after the next meeting, I would appreciate it."
"Of course."
"Thank you," she replied with the quick smile he remembered before returning to the general bustle and pleasantries as the other members of the Order took their leave.
Remus himself was occupied for the next few minutes as well, being welcomed back those who had not had a chance to speak with him before the start of the meeting. Their kindness warmed him, from Moody's gruff "Good to see you in one piece!" to Molly Weasley's motherly insistence that he join them for dinner soon. Severus had left immediately of course, but nearly everyone else seemed to want to welcome him back.
By the time he had spoken at least a few words to all of them, only Dumbledore and Catherine remained. The Headmaster paused in his conversation to come over and shake his hand. "Remus, it's good to have you back again," the Headmaster told him. "Catherine, dear, if you can wait for a moment, I'll show Remus out."
"There's no need, I can find my own way out," he told them quietly. "Miss Clare, it was very nice to meet you," he added before excusing himself.
****
By the time Remus arrived again at Stone House the following week, he had convinced himself that he had adjusted to the revelation of Cassie's true identity. All he had to do was remember her new name and treat her as a relative stranger. Considering how short a time he had known her under her former guise, this, he was sure, would not be difficult.
He felt he did a good job of carrying this attitude off during the business portion of the next meeting of the Order, although he admittedly did not speak much. After the meeting, he made inconsequential conversation while waiting for Catherine, who was deep in discussion with Dumbledore and Minerva.
Remus thanked Molly and Arthur for their re-iterated - almost insistent - invitation to supper and promised to let them know when he would be free - and stopped Kingsley for a moment with a brief question on guard rotations. Soon, Cassie's - Catherine's - conversation concluded and Minerva hurried off, leaving Remus alone with Catherine and the Headmaster. Then, with a single searching look at Remus, Dumbledore departed too.
"Thank you very much for agreeing to give me a few moments of your time," Catherine said.
"That's quite all right. I'm at your disposal," he assured her, before remembering something else. "I'm sorry I didn't respond to your earlier letters; I only received them a short time ago," he added apologetically.
"I understand. Dumbledore explained." Catherine glanced around at the windowless room. "Would you mind if we adjourned to my study? I can offer you something to drink as well, perhaps some tea?" she suggested.
"You drink tea?" he blurted out, then flushed awkwardly. "I beg your pardon, I – "
Much to his relief, Catherine was laughing. "I guess my 'American' sign is flashing noticeably today," she responded, obviously amused. "I'm afraid that I've never really learned to drink tea myself, although I do keep it around for visitors. Would you prefer something else?" She was leading him through the huge central hall to the opposite side of the building.
"Tea is fine," he said, miserably aware that he hadn't managed to last two minutes after Dumbledore's departure without making a mistake.
She opened a set of doors at the end of another long hall and he realized something else. "This is your house?" he asked, feeling rather stupid as they passed through one room and into another which was apparently their destination.
"Mmm-hmm," she confirmed absently, looking around for the tea tray. It was perched on a low table between two cushiony sofas of brilliant blue positioned in front of the window, which was a long curving wall of floor-to-ceiling glass. The water was piping hot, and there was a small tray of delectable-looking cakes as well.
A few moments were occupied in the courtesies as she fixed his tea, and then he opened another topic of conversation.
"You have a lovely view," he commented, surveying the lush expanse of gardens and lawns.
"One of the reasons I like this room," she remarked, "although, unfortunately, the card room is probably better suited for meetings."
"Have you always lived here?" he asked, trying not to think about what she must have thought of his own home in comparison. She wouldn't remember, of course, but he still did.
"Oh, no, I only moved here a little while ago. I used to visit in the summers when my grandfather was alive – he's the one who left it to me – but I spent most of my time in the states after he died, except for holidays. He was my mother's father," she explained. "My own father was American."
"What brought you here?" Remus wondered if the question was too personal, but she didn't seem to mind.
"Well, in a way, I suppose it was Sirius," she told him thoughtfully. Remus' arm jerked, spilling some his tea into the saucer.
"Sorry," he said quickly, setting the cup down abruptly on the table.
"I'm so sorry," Catherine apologized. "I shouldn't have just – "
"No, really, I was just surprised, I – " he broke off awkwardly. "It's almost been a year, you see, and no one mentions him anymore, except Harry, of course," he told her honestly.
"Oh, dear," Catherine murmured, looking distressed. "I really can't explain things to you properly without mentioning him, but I can try not to afterwards if you prefer?"
"No, don't do that," he told her, forcing himself to maintain his composure. "I'd much rather you didn't." She looked at him rather doubtfully, and he added, "Please go on."
"Perhaps I ought to back up a bit. I don't know if you're aware that Sirius stayed with me for a little while a few years ago?" Remus shook his head. "In my home in the states, of course, it would have been, oh, two-and-a-half, nearly three years ago now." She smiled in remembered amusement, before adding, "With Buckbeak! He left very suddenly when he received some news about Harry, and he didn't take everything with him in his rush to leave," she explained. "He did tell me that if anything happened to him, I should deliver what he left to you. When I didn't hear from him for a while, I became concerned and tried to get in touch with you."
"I didn't know, I'm afraid, or I would have let you know as soon as it happened," Remus told her contritely.
"I'm not surprised," she admitted, somewhat ruefully. "I gather you had more pressing problems to deal with in the immediate present, and I don't suppose he wanted to believe he wouldn't be back himself eventually."
Remus couldn't think of anything to say, but after a moment, Catherine continued.
"I hope that you'll understand that I need to make sure that you're the proper recipient," she told him apologetically.
"Yes, of course," Remus agreed, unsure what she meant.
"Tell me about Prongs," she said simply.
Remus replied steadily. "Prongs was our name for James Potter, Harry's father."
"Thank you," she replied. "The next one may be a little trickier, as Wormtail would have been able to tell me that. Do you recall the time that he was laid up in the infirmary after an accident in Transfiguration in your fourth year?"
Remus thought back to that time and nodded. Peter had accidentally switched his quill with the top hook of one of the chandeliers lighting the room. It had fallen on him while he was frantically trying to switch it back. The rest of the class had been canceled so Professor McGonagall could escort Peter to the infirmary.
"What did you want to do and what did you actually do after dinner?" she asked.
Remus struggled to recall that specific evening; it had been a very long time ago. "Well, Sirius and James wanted to come up with a way to make all the chandelier hooks turn into quills at the same time, but I talked them out of that. I wanted to go to the library – I can't remember why – but the two of them were definitely not in the mood to study. I think we talked about sneaking in to visit Peter, but someone told us he had been given a Sleeping Draught so there wasn't any point in that."
Remus frowned in concentration, Catherine waiting impassively. Why had Sirius chosen that evening, and what had they done? It couldn't have been the night they had charmed the Slytherin's Quidditch robes (midway through the game, the players' names were replaced with a variety of humorous – and very rude – sayings) because they had told Peter later that they were the ones who had done it even though he wasn't with them at the time. For the same reason, it couldn't be the night they had freed the Nifflers, or the time they switched the plants in greenhouses one and four. The Marauders had been together almost constantly and had very few secrets from each other; what could they have done that they would have kept a secret from Peter?
"Of course," he whispered. "We used the Invisibility Cloak and a Levitation Charm to sneak into the girls dormitory! Peter was crazy about Marion Snarklebeau. We overheard her doing her Divination homework, and she was convinced that the first guy to ask her out following the next planetary conjunction would be her true love. We maneuvered Peter into asking her out at the right time, but we never told him why she finally accepted." He looked up to find Catherine looking at him, apparently slightly amused, yet with a faint trace of sadness in her eyes.
"I think I should be thankful I never had to go to school with the four of you," she told him lightly. "It's in the lab," she added, rising and leaving the study from a different door than the one they had used coming in.
The laboratory, adjacent to her study, was a fascinating room. It was very well equipped – there were some items that Remus didn't recognize immediately and his curiosity was aroused – but he didn't have time to stop and examine anything as Catherine was leading him directly to a locked cupboard in the corner. She used a key she kept on a fine chain about her wrist to open it before reaching in and pulling out the contents.
"A Pensieve?" She nodded and placed the plain, but highly polished silver bowl on the counter before him. Remus felt tears springing to his eyes. Sirius had left some of his memories; he couldn't think of anything more precious Padfoot could have left him.
"Remus?" Catherine said, recalling his attention. She looked somewhat uncomfortable.
"Yes?"
"I probably ought to warn you," she began hesitantly, "before you use it. You see, when Sirius was with me, he was – " Catherine seemed to be struggling to find the right words.
"Catherine, just go ahead and say it," he told her very directly, forgetting for a moment that he was supposed to have only just met her. "Even if you think it will upset me."
Catherine sighed. "When Sirius first broke out of Azkaban, he had a mission he had to focus on – getting to Peter before he could attack Harry. After he had to flee on Buckbeak, it was a bit different. He no longer had to focus himself so completely on saving Harry, and when he was at my house he no longer needed to work so hard to survive. He had food, and shelter, and some level of security, although I doubt it was ever really safe for him, and some freedom from the Dementors."
"Go on," he prompted, not yet entirely sure where this was leading.
"Sirius didn't have an easy time dealing with what he'd been through. He had a lot of nightmares – bad ones – and sometimes he had problems even when he was awake. That's why I suggested the Pensieve."
Remus absorbed this. "So you think he used this to hold the really bad memories, to get them out of his head and deal with them more – objectively, as an observer."
"I'm afraid so," she admitted. "Not entirely, I hope. Some of the things he said make me think he was starting to remember some of the good times as well, when all of you were together before James and Lily were killed. I think he toyed with the idea of sharing some of his better memories with his godson, so he could get to know his parents a little better. I don't really know since I haven't examined it – he left it for you – but I did want to warn you."
"I see." Remus pulled out his wand and stared into the swirls of silver contained in the Pensieve. Concentrating on James, he was pleased to see some memories of Prongs surface, his old friend's face flashing from time to time within the depths. Then he tried concentrating on Dementors, and the Pensieve responded with what appeared to be a tidal wave contained within the circumference of the bowl as countless memories fought for supremacy. He stepped back from it.
"I believe you were right," he told Catherine quietly. "On all points." She was regarding him with sympathy and refrained from commenting.
"I'll need to spend some time sorting through them to separate out the ones I can pass on to Harry," he said thoughtfully, more to himself than to her. He looked down at the mass of silver swirls flowing through each other in the Pensieve. "That's going to take quite a while I'm afraid."
"Would you like to work here?" she asked.
"You mean, in your lab?" he asked, with another swift look around. The facilities were so much better than anything he would be able to contrive at home that it would definitely be worth the commute.
"Well, yes, but I was also inviting you to stay. You see, I seem to be hosting a sort of house party for the Order this summer," she explained. "The Weasleys will be coming a little before school lets out and probably staying until it resumes again in the fall - it's quite a bit closer to Hogwarts for them than The Burrow is. Moody's coming next week – I think he's still determined to update the anti-jinxes – " her eyes twinkled as she spoke, " – and many of the others will be in and out all summer as well, whatever is decided about where Harry spends the holidays. I'd like to extend the same invitation to you, for the summer, or for whatever portion of it suits you."
"Thank you, I'd like that," Remus was surprised to hear himself responding. It couldn't hurt to spend some more time with her. "That is, unless Dumbledore has any other plans for me."
"Well, just send me an owl and let me know if - and hopefully when - I can expect you." Her eyes fell on the Pensieve he was still holding. "Would you like to take it with you? I know it can be a little tricky to manage while you're flying, but I do have - "
Remus shook his head. "I'd just as soon leave it here, if you don't mind, at least until my plans are more settled. If it won't inconvenience you, of course."
"Not at all," she told him, slipping the key chain off her wrist and handing it to him. The ready gesture pleased him, although there was really no reason it should, and he decided that he had better bring this meeting to a close. Accordingly, he excused himself gracefully in a few minutes, having thanked her and promised to owl her about her invitation.