Disclaimer/Summary: I don't own them, and I'd like to, because Braddy and Schu are my Schwartz favorites. BxS. Song and lyrics are property of Bush and are also, obviously, not mine. POV and tense may shift; for now, this is Brad's reflections upon his history with Schuldig.
The chemicals between us
The chemicals between us
Lying in this bed
We're of the hollow men
We are the naked ones
We never meant you harm
Never meant you wrong
I'd like to thank
All of my lovers, lovers, lovers
Chapter 4: 3 Minutes to the Rest of Our Life
Tonight was the worst, wasn't it, Schuldig?
It's been a day full of visions to say the least, starting around 2 PM, when I sat at my desk trying to work and got a vision of Abyssinian and Balinese arguing.
They're like us, you know? Maybe that's why you wanted to mess Balinese up. Your equivalent shouldn't get a shot at love, either, right? But I'm getting ahead of myself.
What I pieced together from that vision led me to believe that our two little kittens have something of a thing for eachother, that silly little Balinese actually believed at some point that he could bed his icy leader, live to tell the tale, and keep doing so in monogamous harmony for the rest of his life.
Abyssinian, apparently, pretends to have other ideas and spent most of his time shooting down our little blond's attempts to woo him.
I've got time enough left for this, Schuldig, I'll write it down. You'll laugh at the irony.
***
In the flowershop, Aya and Youji are working. It's the middle of the day, with few customers, but they're arguing animatedly.
"No." Aya says flatly, turning away from yet another of Youji's advances. Apparently the blond has reached the end of his patience, because Youji's eyes narrow in frustration.
"GOD DAMNIT, RAN."
He curses loudly, and the redhead's eyes close, refusing to face the blond.
"Why the hell can't you just fucking admit it, Ran? I want to be with you. And you want to be with me."
Steeling himself for what he must've felt he had to say, the redhead turns, eyes and expression cold as ice.
"Why, Youji, would I want to be with some lazy slut?"
Youji's anger washes away, replaced with hurt that he tries to mask by sliding back on his sunglasses and heading for the door. Aya's voice cuts through, tinged with concern, but by now Balinese is probably too far gone to have heard it.
"Where are you going, Youji?"
It comes out harsher than the redhead intends, because he cringes slightly, but the blond's got his back to Abyssinian as he leaves the shop.
"Out."
Replies Balinese, stepping out onto the street. The door closes swiftly behind him.
"Like you care."
Murmurs Youji, heading down the street. Back in the flowershop, Abyssinian takes a seat, burying his head in the arms of his orange sweater.
***
I didn't understand why I got that vision. It had nothing to do with what I usually keep my mind directed towards, nothing at all. So I went back to work without a second thought, continuing to do so until about 5 PM, when I went downstairs to eat dinner with the rest of the team. You disappeared to your room, and I ignored you as usual. Nothing out of the ordinary.
At 10, you announced you were going out. At 10:15 I got another vision. You. The club. Balinese. You, manipulating him to get him to sleep with you; each of you borrowing the other as a substitute for your respective leaders. You know what would've happened next -- going to some stupid hotel and screwing eachother's brains out, Youji going home to an Abyssinian who would've been ready to accept him had he not obviously gone out and slept with whatever he could find.
You would have destroyed the two of them, you know.
At 10:18 I made a phone call.
Ran was pissed off, but at 10:20, as I headed for the car, I got a vision of him meeting me shortly; and by 10:42 we were set to track the two of you down, that is, after I convinced him to not even bother attempting to kill me and proved that I wasn't armed.
He seemed disappointed somehow, but that's beside the point.
By 11:06 we stood outside the club and calmly made our way inside. Your telepathy would have been useful -- the bouncer didn't believe that Abyssinian or I were the clubbing type and getting inside cost me a pretty bit of yen. He, of course, didn't pay. Cheap bastard. He's putting his sister through college now.
By 11:11 we were inside, by 11:13 we'd formulated a plan. Ran, uncomfortable as he was, made his way onto the dance floor to intercept you and Balinese. Of course Balinese left you for him, and they headed out past me, Ran quietly listening to Youji's apologies and explanations.
Maybe because I told him that if he didn't I would personally kill him and the blond for putting me through so much irritation. At any rate, at 11:15 you were headed for the bar for what I could only assume was some heavy drinking and planning to find someone else to fuck instead.
Something needed to be done, Schuldig. So I found you at the bar and calmly pushed away your drink.
"We are going home."
An order. Of course you would try to defy it.
"No, Braddy. You're going to go home and fish that stick out of your ass," you slurred with a drunken, malicious grin. "And maybe frame it. I'm going to stay here and get drunk and laid."
I wrenched you out of your seat.
"No, Schuldig, we are going home."
You fought me the whole way out, and I don't know how we managed to get out of the club without me being arrested. But I got you into the car, your angry eyes rimmed with tears.
"Why the fuck did you come?" You asked, angrily, when I got into the driver's seat.
"Vision. You were going to fuck Balinese. It would've ruined his chances with Abyssinian for good." I said, as calmly as I could, like it didn't matter that you were screwing someone else, someone who was definitely not me.
"Since when have you given a shit if anyone's happy?" You asked sourly, and I remained silent as we drove home. You weren't done, though, storming inside; and when I followed you into the living room you launched into me with a scream of German curses.
I deserved it. I'll admit, though, that 'you stubborn, pig-headed, sadistic, masochistic bastard' hit the mark.
"Why the hell can't you just care?" You asked. Have you ever had one of those moments when the thing that you don't want to say slips out of your mouth at exactly the wrong time; when you lose your head in all your anger and frustration, and you don't mean it? What I said was one of them, though, Schuldig.
"Why would I care about some stupid whore?" I asked, and instantly regretted it. I'm sure you see the irony now. Abyssinian said almost the same exact thing to Balinese just hours before.
You stared at me, and I realized that I'd destroyed it...whatever, it was. Broken you. Really fucked things up, so to speak.
"Because I wanted you to." You said quietly, switching back to soft Japanese, before heading up the stairs.
I couldn't move, rooted to my spot by the agony of my mistakes.
I'm really out of time, but the truth is, Schuldig, no matter how hard I've fought to get you to believe otherwise, that I love you, absolutely, completely. You drive me crazy, you're extremely irritating, you're sardonic and everything I'm not. You're also beautiful and irresistable and I couldn't possibly live without you.
I'm writing all of this out to you because it's 11:58, and when we stopped arguing at 11:47, I had a vision of you attempting suicide at 12:01. I'm going to stop you. And I'm going to try to set things right.
I love you, Schuldig. I just hope you understand.
Leave me some love, folks. I feel really bad leaving this chapter at such a cliffhanger that I'm going to go ahead and write the next one and finish the thing out (because if I was a reader, I wouldn't want to sit around and be like "OMG IS SCHULDIG GOING TO DIE!? WHAT IS BRAD GOING TO DO?! I HATE YOU, GLAUBE HATEHATEHATE TEH HATE XP!") To clarify, the whole thing has been a long-ass letter Brad's been cranking out as fast as possible, 11 minutes. I don't really know when this ties in, if it's Gluhen, or before Gluhen, or towards the end of the series. So if anyone has any idea...let me know, lol. REVIEW!!! -glaube