Okay, I'm glad there wasn't too much negative response to my disgusting overbundance of sap last chapter. (Sorry, sap creeps me out...even when it's my own.) Anyway, in more important news...Duke beat Michigan State! We freakin' rock! :ahem: Okay, I'm better. Sorry...I'm from Durham. Gotta go crazy for the home team, you know? Anyway, more chapter.
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A solemn assembly of ECW gathered for their pre-show meeting the following Monday night. "All right," Lita began bluntly. "Rob's been stripped of his Intercontinental title and Bischoff awarded it to Randy Orton. Kane, I'd like you to be the one to go after it."
"But..." he protested quietly. "It's Rob's title."
"It *was* Rob's title," Lita corrected him. "But Orton has it now, and Rob won't be able to hold it for some time anyway. So for the moment being, we can work to get it back. Raven, Tommy, your match against La Resistance for the tag team titles is this coming Sunday at Armaggedon. Are you ready?"
They nodded weakly.
"I can't hear you," she chastised.
"Yeah." "Yeah, we're ready."
"Yeah, it sounds like it," Lita muttered sarcastically. "Now Spike, your match for the title is on Sunday as well. Tonight Evolution wants to have some sort of special stipulation match with us to see which side gets to determine the type of match. What sort of match were you hoping for against Triple H?"
"Well," Spike answered hesitantly, a little shaken by his leader's cold demeanor. "I was thinking that, since Evolution's going to interfere anyway, we might as well level the playing field, make it a lumberjack match."
"Good call," Lita approved. "Evolution doesn't have that many friends, anyway. Okay, so you all know your matches for tonight, except those who'll be in the special stipulation match, which I assume Evolution will announce at the beginning of the show. So if there are no conflicts, I'll see y'all after show."
Lita walked out the door. Rey followed.
"?Que diablos? ?Que estaba esto?" ("What the hell? What was that?")
"Estaba nada. ?Porque estas preocupado?" ("It was nothing. What are you worried about.")
"Lita, what is going on? Why are you acting like this?"
"Acting like what, Rey?"
He reached out and grabbed her shoulder, halting her stalking away from him. He turned her gently to face him. "Like this."
She wouldn't meet his eyes. "I don't know what you mean."
"Yes, you do. You're shutting us out. Why are you being so cold?"
"I'm not being cold, Rey, I'm just taking care of business."
"Oh...Lita," he murmured, comprehension dawning. He pulled her close. "It's okay. You don't have to try to be so strong for us. Yes, we need a leader who's strong, but we also need a reminder sometimes that you're human, too. And after the way you just acted, everyone was starting to worry that our beloved leader had been replaced by the Lita-robot from hell."
She laughed a little, finally relaxing in his embrace. "I'm sorry, Rey. But if I break down, everything around me breaks down. I've gotta keep it together."
"You should realize by now that that's not how our little team works. We don't stay for power or status, though we're glad to have those things again. We stay for love, for our loyalty to each other. No one's going to abandon you if you show weakness."
"It was because of my weakness that Rob was injured."
"Oh mamacita," Rey sighed, squeezing her closer. "No es tu culpa." ("It's not your fault.")
"Yo se. Pero, es tan dificil..." ("I know. But it's so hard...")
"I know, I know. It'll be okay." They heard the booming pyrotechnics announcing the beginning of the show. "Now come on. Evolution's going to call you out and you have to face them, okay? They're the only ones you can't break down in front of. But when you're done negotiating with them, you can come backstage and cry your eyes out if you want. I'll even buy you some ice cream and rent you a Meg Ryan movie," he teased.
"I'm not that much of a girl."
"About the chick flicks, no. But I will have a pint of Ben & Jerry's Moosetracks ready."
"Fine, you can regain your status as my best friend." Lita heard through the monitors Triple H rasping her name. "I'd better get going. I'll see you in a few."
"All right. Be careful, mamacita."
"Don't worry. I won't do anything you wouldn't do."
"That's what I'm afraid of," he murmured.
Lita rushed to the guerilla position, pushing through the curtains just as her music hit. She paused at the top of the ramp, staring down the four members of Evolution standing in the middle of the ring.
Stacey took the mic. "I'm so sorry, Lita, that I haven't had the chance to check up on my old teammates, so I was just wondering: How is your crippled boyfriend?"
Lita judged her distance from Stacey and how close the other members of Evolution were standing on either side. So she'd probably only have a chance to clobber the bimbo a couple of times before the rest of Evolution got to her, so what? It'd be worth it to break Stacey's perfect little nose.
Lita lunged for the ring. Suddenly several pairs of arms were holding her back. She turned to glare at Stevie and found she just couldn't do it. She turned her eyes to Lance, and then Justin. Nope, that just wasn't working either. She sighed. "Okay guys, I'm fine, really. I'm calm now."
The guys exchanged glances, Lance nodded, and they let her go. Lita remained obediently in place, only stooping to snatch up a mic. "Hunter, get the mic away from your whore and just say whatever you need to so we can move on with the show."
"That's what I love about you, Lita. Most women are nothing but talk, but you...get right...down to business," he taunted suggestively. Lita bit her tongue and looked away, trying to keep him from getting the best of her. Seeing she wouldn't take the bait, Triple H moved on. "So here's what Evolution wished to propose. A 6-woman tag match, Stacey, Molly, and Gail Kim against you and two female partners of your choice. If you can't find any partners, then you can either forfeit or fight the match by yourself. Whichever side wins gets to determine the nature of the match at Armageddon for my World Heavyweight Championship."
Lita stared evenly back up at Triple H and raised the mic to her lips. Lance tugged at her arm, interrupting her. "Don't do it, Li. This isn't even a set-up; it's more obvious than a set-up. They're making it clear they plan to have you get the crap beaten out of you in a handicap match. And let's face it, Li. With Trish out with injury and Ivory and Jackie doing Tough Enough, you couldn't buy a girl friend in the business."
Lita spoke her response to Lance directly into the mic. "I've got it covered. Hunter," she addressed the leader of Evolution. "Let's put even more on the line, here. How about we make it an unprecedented 8-woman tag match? Do you have someone who could be your fourth team member?"
"Absolutely," he sneered. "Victoria." Lita saw out of the corner of her eye Stevie cringe.
"Fine," she answered. "You're on, then."
"You know, Lita," Triple H snickered. "I knew you were tough and extreme, and it made me wonder why you put up with those losers. But now I can see that you're just as crazy as the rest of them."
"Maybe," Lita agreed. "But if you want to really see some crazy, extreme women, maybe you should meet my teammates." She pulled out a cell phone and began punching in numbers. "You know," she glanced up at the ring, shaking her head disappointedly. "I'd hoped to save this as more of a surprise, but I guess now's better than ever. Oh, hold on a sec, it's ringing." She held the phone up to her ear, one hand up in a pausing gesture. "Yeah...hey...yeah, it's me...Yeah, I know we agreed on next week, but we got a little situation here, oh...You're watching the show?...Good...So you know what's going on then...Okay...I'll see you in a little bit...Would you mind telling Dawn and Francine for me?...Okay...Thanks Beulah...Yeah, I'll see you later..." Lita snapped the phone shut and turned to Triple H, a hand on her hip and one eyebrow raised.
He stared, mouth gaped open, back down at her. "But...how?..." he sputtered. "See you for the match, Stace," Lita called and turned on her heel to stride backstage, three equally shocked ECW boys behind her.
Lance practically mugged her as soon as they were backstage. "Dawn? Dawn Marie? Why didn't you tell me?"
"It was supposed to be a surprise," she smirked casually. Lance was frantic with excitement. "I haven't seen her in so long? How do I look? How's my hair?"
"Really short, just like always," Justin stated for him slowly. "It's kinda hard to mess it up."
"Oh, yeah. Well, do I stink? Do I need to get a quick shower?"
"Lance, you haven't wrestled yet tonight," Lita reminded him. "Take it easy."
"You wouldn't be taking it easy if the love of your life just appeared at your show out of the blue." Lita winced. "Dude...Matt...few weeks ago..." Stevie coughed, not very inconspicuously. "Oh, right...sorry," Lance muttered. "I'm just so nervous."
"It's okay," Lita sighed. "Just, breathe."
"Okay, yeah, breathing, I think I can manage that." Lance stood perfectly still, taking deep focused breaths. Justin started to giggle. "Dude, you look like you're in a lamaze class."
"Calm down, Lance. It's not like I'm pregnant. At least not yet," a soft voice caused teasingly from behind them. Lance froze, eyes wide, and turned slowly. Dawn stood there bundled up in a thick winter coat holding a gymbag and waved shyly. "Um, hey."
Lance simply stared at her, lost deep in thought. "Oh yeah, hey," he finally responded. "Let me get that," he took her bag. "So, how'd you get here so fast?"
"The other two girls and I have been hanging around Philly. Nostalgia, or whatever." Lance nodded blankly, still simply staring. She smiled at him a little uncomfortably. "Lance? Say something."
"No." He swept her up in his arms and pressed his lips firmly to hers, dipping her low. Lita, Stevie, and Justin turned away a bit awkwardly. "Um, okay, I guess we can just leave them there," Lita commented. "They seem to be doing just fine."
"No kidding," Justin agreed. "Except for possible oxygen depletion...I know it's possible to suffocate by swallowing your tongue, but what about swallowing somebody else's?"
"Yeah, T.M.I.," Lita shuddered. "Let's get back to the locker room and see how Tommy and Raven are doing."
When they arrived, Rey, Kane, and all three Dudleys were standing outside the door. "Yeah, you really don't want to go in there," Spike explained.
Lita sighed. "I take it Francine and Beulah have arrived?"
"Yeah. Raven and Beulah went off to find some dark corner to talk about whatever it is that dark, morbid lovebirds talk about, but Tommy and Miss Head Cheerleader just kind of took over the lockerroom, and I have a feeling that I'm far too young to see whatever is going on in there."
"I don't think anyone's old enough to see what's going on in there," D-von added.
"So I'm the only ECW chick not making out with somebody?"
Rey wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. "No problems, baby, you still got your favorite luchador."
Lita flipped him forward over her head and down towards the floor, but the agile wrestler twisted in time to land on his feet. "And then you complain when you don't get any," he teased.
"Okay, can we please focus?" Lita tried to regain control. "Now, we need the lockerroom to get ready, so, we're just going to have to open that door. Any volunteers? Kane?"
He ducked his head and shied away. "Bubba? D-von? Stevie?"
"Uh-uh."
"No way."
"Not me. I'm too innocent."
"Fine. You can take barbed-wire wrapped sticks to the face, but interrupting someone having sex turns you into wusses."
"It's not the same. This is Tommy and Francine we're talking about. We have no idea how freaky it's getting in that room."
"Fine. Then I'll do it." Lita threw open the door as all the guys covered their eyes.
Francine and Tommy were sitting on a bench, hugging. Tommy appeared to be crying on her shoulder and she rubbed his back soothingly. "And...I'll never piledrive you again..." he sobbed. "It's okay," she reassured him. "And I promise I'll never date one of your tag team partners again." "Okay," he snivelled, wiping his nose.
Lita quietly closed the door and looked with wide eyes at the rest of the team. "Okay, that was even weirder than I was prepared for. Um, I guess we can give them a few minutes."
"What about until then?" Bubba questioned.
"Um," Rey cut in. "I've still got a pint of Moosetracks ice cream for whoever needs it?"
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Yay! More chicks to help Lita babysit! And cool, non-Stacey Keibler-like chicks at that! Sorry, I just love Beulah and Francine...and I guess Dawn Marie's okay.
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A solemn assembly of ECW gathered for their pre-show meeting the following Monday night. "All right," Lita began bluntly. "Rob's been stripped of his Intercontinental title and Bischoff awarded it to Randy Orton. Kane, I'd like you to be the one to go after it."
"But..." he protested quietly. "It's Rob's title."
"It *was* Rob's title," Lita corrected him. "But Orton has it now, and Rob won't be able to hold it for some time anyway. So for the moment being, we can work to get it back. Raven, Tommy, your match against La Resistance for the tag team titles is this coming Sunday at Armaggedon. Are you ready?"
They nodded weakly.
"I can't hear you," she chastised.
"Yeah." "Yeah, we're ready."
"Yeah, it sounds like it," Lita muttered sarcastically. "Now Spike, your match for the title is on Sunday as well. Tonight Evolution wants to have some sort of special stipulation match with us to see which side gets to determine the type of match. What sort of match were you hoping for against Triple H?"
"Well," Spike answered hesitantly, a little shaken by his leader's cold demeanor. "I was thinking that, since Evolution's going to interfere anyway, we might as well level the playing field, make it a lumberjack match."
"Good call," Lita approved. "Evolution doesn't have that many friends, anyway. Okay, so you all know your matches for tonight, except those who'll be in the special stipulation match, which I assume Evolution will announce at the beginning of the show. So if there are no conflicts, I'll see y'all after show."
Lita walked out the door. Rey followed.
"?Que diablos? ?Que estaba esto?" ("What the hell? What was that?")
"Estaba nada. ?Porque estas preocupado?" ("It was nothing. What are you worried about.")
"Lita, what is going on? Why are you acting like this?"
"Acting like what, Rey?"
He reached out and grabbed her shoulder, halting her stalking away from him. He turned her gently to face him. "Like this."
She wouldn't meet his eyes. "I don't know what you mean."
"Yes, you do. You're shutting us out. Why are you being so cold?"
"I'm not being cold, Rey, I'm just taking care of business."
"Oh...Lita," he murmured, comprehension dawning. He pulled her close. "It's okay. You don't have to try to be so strong for us. Yes, we need a leader who's strong, but we also need a reminder sometimes that you're human, too. And after the way you just acted, everyone was starting to worry that our beloved leader had been replaced by the Lita-robot from hell."
She laughed a little, finally relaxing in his embrace. "I'm sorry, Rey. But if I break down, everything around me breaks down. I've gotta keep it together."
"You should realize by now that that's not how our little team works. We don't stay for power or status, though we're glad to have those things again. We stay for love, for our loyalty to each other. No one's going to abandon you if you show weakness."
"It was because of my weakness that Rob was injured."
"Oh mamacita," Rey sighed, squeezing her closer. "No es tu culpa." ("It's not your fault.")
"Yo se. Pero, es tan dificil..." ("I know. But it's so hard...")
"I know, I know. It'll be okay." They heard the booming pyrotechnics announcing the beginning of the show. "Now come on. Evolution's going to call you out and you have to face them, okay? They're the only ones you can't break down in front of. But when you're done negotiating with them, you can come backstage and cry your eyes out if you want. I'll even buy you some ice cream and rent you a Meg Ryan movie," he teased.
"I'm not that much of a girl."
"About the chick flicks, no. But I will have a pint of Ben & Jerry's Moosetracks ready."
"Fine, you can regain your status as my best friend." Lita heard through the monitors Triple H rasping her name. "I'd better get going. I'll see you in a few."
"All right. Be careful, mamacita."
"Don't worry. I won't do anything you wouldn't do."
"That's what I'm afraid of," he murmured.
Lita rushed to the guerilla position, pushing through the curtains just as her music hit. She paused at the top of the ramp, staring down the four members of Evolution standing in the middle of the ring.
Stacey took the mic. "I'm so sorry, Lita, that I haven't had the chance to check up on my old teammates, so I was just wondering: How is your crippled boyfriend?"
Lita judged her distance from Stacey and how close the other members of Evolution were standing on either side. So she'd probably only have a chance to clobber the bimbo a couple of times before the rest of Evolution got to her, so what? It'd be worth it to break Stacey's perfect little nose.
Lita lunged for the ring. Suddenly several pairs of arms were holding her back. She turned to glare at Stevie and found she just couldn't do it. She turned her eyes to Lance, and then Justin. Nope, that just wasn't working either. She sighed. "Okay guys, I'm fine, really. I'm calm now."
The guys exchanged glances, Lance nodded, and they let her go. Lita remained obediently in place, only stooping to snatch up a mic. "Hunter, get the mic away from your whore and just say whatever you need to so we can move on with the show."
"That's what I love about you, Lita. Most women are nothing but talk, but you...get right...down to business," he taunted suggestively. Lita bit her tongue and looked away, trying to keep him from getting the best of her. Seeing she wouldn't take the bait, Triple H moved on. "So here's what Evolution wished to propose. A 6-woman tag match, Stacey, Molly, and Gail Kim against you and two female partners of your choice. If you can't find any partners, then you can either forfeit or fight the match by yourself. Whichever side wins gets to determine the nature of the match at Armageddon for my World Heavyweight Championship."
Lita stared evenly back up at Triple H and raised the mic to her lips. Lance tugged at her arm, interrupting her. "Don't do it, Li. This isn't even a set-up; it's more obvious than a set-up. They're making it clear they plan to have you get the crap beaten out of you in a handicap match. And let's face it, Li. With Trish out with injury and Ivory and Jackie doing Tough Enough, you couldn't buy a girl friend in the business."
Lita spoke her response to Lance directly into the mic. "I've got it covered. Hunter," she addressed the leader of Evolution. "Let's put even more on the line, here. How about we make it an unprecedented 8-woman tag match? Do you have someone who could be your fourth team member?"
"Absolutely," he sneered. "Victoria." Lita saw out of the corner of her eye Stevie cringe.
"Fine," she answered. "You're on, then."
"You know, Lita," Triple H snickered. "I knew you were tough and extreme, and it made me wonder why you put up with those losers. But now I can see that you're just as crazy as the rest of them."
"Maybe," Lita agreed. "But if you want to really see some crazy, extreme women, maybe you should meet my teammates." She pulled out a cell phone and began punching in numbers. "You know," she glanced up at the ring, shaking her head disappointedly. "I'd hoped to save this as more of a surprise, but I guess now's better than ever. Oh, hold on a sec, it's ringing." She held the phone up to her ear, one hand up in a pausing gesture. "Yeah...hey...yeah, it's me...Yeah, I know we agreed on next week, but we got a little situation here, oh...You're watching the show?...Good...So you know what's going on then...Okay...I'll see you in a little bit...Would you mind telling Dawn and Francine for me?...Okay...Thanks Beulah...Yeah, I'll see you later..." Lita snapped the phone shut and turned to Triple H, a hand on her hip and one eyebrow raised.
He stared, mouth gaped open, back down at her. "But...how?..." he sputtered. "See you for the match, Stace," Lita called and turned on her heel to stride backstage, three equally shocked ECW boys behind her.
Lance practically mugged her as soon as they were backstage. "Dawn? Dawn Marie? Why didn't you tell me?"
"It was supposed to be a surprise," she smirked casually. Lance was frantic with excitement. "I haven't seen her in so long? How do I look? How's my hair?"
"Really short, just like always," Justin stated for him slowly. "It's kinda hard to mess it up."
"Oh, yeah. Well, do I stink? Do I need to get a quick shower?"
"Lance, you haven't wrestled yet tonight," Lita reminded him. "Take it easy."
"You wouldn't be taking it easy if the love of your life just appeared at your show out of the blue." Lita winced. "Dude...Matt...few weeks ago..." Stevie coughed, not very inconspicuously. "Oh, right...sorry," Lance muttered. "I'm just so nervous."
"It's okay," Lita sighed. "Just, breathe."
"Okay, yeah, breathing, I think I can manage that." Lance stood perfectly still, taking deep focused breaths. Justin started to giggle. "Dude, you look like you're in a lamaze class."
"Calm down, Lance. It's not like I'm pregnant. At least not yet," a soft voice caused teasingly from behind them. Lance froze, eyes wide, and turned slowly. Dawn stood there bundled up in a thick winter coat holding a gymbag and waved shyly. "Um, hey."
Lance simply stared at her, lost deep in thought. "Oh yeah, hey," he finally responded. "Let me get that," he took her bag. "So, how'd you get here so fast?"
"The other two girls and I have been hanging around Philly. Nostalgia, or whatever." Lance nodded blankly, still simply staring. She smiled at him a little uncomfortably. "Lance? Say something."
"No." He swept her up in his arms and pressed his lips firmly to hers, dipping her low. Lita, Stevie, and Justin turned away a bit awkwardly. "Um, okay, I guess we can just leave them there," Lita commented. "They seem to be doing just fine."
"No kidding," Justin agreed. "Except for possible oxygen depletion...I know it's possible to suffocate by swallowing your tongue, but what about swallowing somebody else's?"
"Yeah, T.M.I.," Lita shuddered. "Let's get back to the locker room and see how Tommy and Raven are doing."
When they arrived, Rey, Kane, and all three Dudleys were standing outside the door. "Yeah, you really don't want to go in there," Spike explained.
Lita sighed. "I take it Francine and Beulah have arrived?"
"Yeah. Raven and Beulah went off to find some dark corner to talk about whatever it is that dark, morbid lovebirds talk about, but Tommy and Miss Head Cheerleader just kind of took over the lockerroom, and I have a feeling that I'm far too young to see whatever is going on in there."
"I don't think anyone's old enough to see what's going on in there," D-von added.
"So I'm the only ECW chick not making out with somebody?"
Rey wrapped his arms around her waist from behind. "No problems, baby, you still got your favorite luchador."
Lita flipped him forward over her head and down towards the floor, but the agile wrestler twisted in time to land on his feet. "And then you complain when you don't get any," he teased.
"Okay, can we please focus?" Lita tried to regain control. "Now, we need the lockerroom to get ready, so, we're just going to have to open that door. Any volunteers? Kane?"
He ducked his head and shied away. "Bubba? D-von? Stevie?"
"Uh-uh."
"No way."
"Not me. I'm too innocent."
"Fine. You can take barbed-wire wrapped sticks to the face, but interrupting someone having sex turns you into wusses."
"It's not the same. This is Tommy and Francine we're talking about. We have no idea how freaky it's getting in that room."
"Fine. Then I'll do it." Lita threw open the door as all the guys covered their eyes.
Francine and Tommy were sitting on a bench, hugging. Tommy appeared to be crying on her shoulder and she rubbed his back soothingly. "And...I'll never piledrive you again..." he sobbed. "It's okay," she reassured him. "And I promise I'll never date one of your tag team partners again." "Okay," he snivelled, wiping his nose.
Lita quietly closed the door and looked with wide eyes at the rest of the team. "Okay, that was even weirder than I was prepared for. Um, I guess we can give them a few minutes."
"What about until then?" Bubba questioned.
"Um," Rey cut in. "I've still got a pint of Moosetracks ice cream for whoever needs it?"
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Yay! More chicks to help Lita babysit! And cool, non-Stacey Keibler-like chicks at that! Sorry, I just love Beulah and Francine...and I guess Dawn Marie's okay.