Okay, so I know I haven't been around. I hate making excuses, but I have to let y'all know the schedule I'm up against. Full-time school, two part-time jobs, political stuff I'm involved in, church involvement, making it in to the National Honor Society, trying to make Dean's list, breaking up with my boyfriend two weeks before Valentine's Day, etc. Oh yeah, and going to all the Duke women's b-ball games. (I'm heading to New Orleans for the Final Four in a couple of months, too.) So basically, it's been a busy time for me. But I really hate not working on this story, so I"m doing the best I can to bang out chapters in between classes (when I don't have to study, that is). For those of you who've stuck with me, thank you so much. You're why I drag myself to this laptop to write.
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"Lita?" Kane questioned lowly. She shook her head, wiping at her running nose. "I was so stupid," she muttered. "So stupid."
Kane stepped back from the door to allow her room to enter. She walked in, face buried in her hands, shoulders shaking. "How could I ever think...? I was so stupid."
He took her by her shoulders briefly, turned her towards him. "What were you stupid about, Li? What happened?"
She shook her head, rolled her eyes bitterly. Tears had streaked mascara and eyeliner out from them, a black starburst effect. "I just...I actually thought..." she sniffed, wiping at her face again. She took a few deep, hiccupping breaths. "I actually thought things could go better for me," she finished a little more calmly.
Kane's voice was wary, quiet. "What happened that they can't?"
She shook her head, opened her mouth, closed it again. "If I try to explain," she finally rasped.
"You'll get upset again?"
She nodded mutely.
"Mind if I take a stab at it?" No response. Kane went on. "You hadn't known about Rob and Dawn until now?"
Lita's fierce hazel eyes snapped up at them. He saw hurt, confusion...
(betrayal?)
...anger. "Rob and I were friends before," he quickly reminded her. "And, you know, he talks, non-stop. It just came up one time. I didn't think of it then because I didn't know you."
"You knew me," she stated flatly.
"Maybe, but I didn't see you."
Her voice was questioning, gentle. "And now you do?"
He paused a moment before responding. "I think so."
"Then who am I?" she asked quietly, but he could her anger seething beneath it, the tidal wave about to break. He stared back at her, knowing the anger was not towards him but that this was simply a matter of wrong place/wrong time.
"Who am I?" she pleaded again. "What's wrong with me that I have to put up with all this sh*t? When do I get a break, huh? When are things gonna ever f*cking look up?"
Kane stared back evenly, and though his rage was quieter, it nearly matched her own.
"Look who you're asking."
Lita shook her head, coming back to herself a little bit. "Oh my God...Kane...I'm sorry..."
He waved off her apology. "Don't worry. I'm used to it."
"Yeah...but still. I'm sorry."
"I said not to worry about it."
"Right. Sorry."
"Could you just stop apologizing?"
Despite the situation, Lita giggled a little. "Okay. But I won't say I'm sorry for overapologizing."
"Good. Because it's too late to have to think about that big a paradox."
She smiled, shaking her head so wild, tear-dampened strands of hair swung across her face. "Why do you put up with me?"
"Because I have to?" Her glare indicated to him that she was still too vulnerable for kidding. "Okay, okay, sorry. Because..."
He wrapped her up in a huge bear hug. "Because you are such a sweet, wonderful person."
"Ugh, I could have handled the sarcasm better than the sappiness."
"In that case, because you're funny, ruthless, and still somehow caring."
She hugged him back. "I guess I can accept that."
"Of course, if I was Rey, I'd say I put up with you just 'cause I wanted to jump your body."
She looked up at him. "Good thing you're our shy giant, Kane, then, huh?"
"Good thing," he muttered gazing back down at her for a long moment.
Kane leaned towards her. Lita looked down and his lips grazed her forehead. She pulled away gently but firmly.
"I'll see you tomorrow then," she called without looking back as she fled out the door, not realizing that someone had seen them both, at that very moment.
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"Lita?" Kane questioned lowly. She shook her head, wiping at her running nose. "I was so stupid," she muttered. "So stupid."
Kane stepped back from the door to allow her room to enter. She walked in, face buried in her hands, shoulders shaking. "How could I ever think...? I was so stupid."
He took her by her shoulders briefly, turned her towards him. "What were you stupid about, Li? What happened?"
She shook her head, rolled her eyes bitterly. Tears had streaked mascara and eyeliner out from them, a black starburst effect. "I just...I actually thought..." she sniffed, wiping at her face again. She took a few deep, hiccupping breaths. "I actually thought things could go better for me," she finished a little more calmly.
Kane's voice was wary, quiet. "What happened that they can't?"
She shook her head, opened her mouth, closed it again. "If I try to explain," she finally rasped.
"You'll get upset again?"
She nodded mutely.
"Mind if I take a stab at it?" No response. Kane went on. "You hadn't known about Rob and Dawn until now?"
Lita's fierce hazel eyes snapped up at them. He saw hurt, confusion...
(betrayal?)
...anger. "Rob and I were friends before," he quickly reminded her. "And, you know, he talks, non-stop. It just came up one time. I didn't think of it then because I didn't know you."
"You knew me," she stated flatly.
"Maybe, but I didn't see you."
Her voice was questioning, gentle. "And now you do?"
He paused a moment before responding. "I think so."
"Then who am I?" she asked quietly, but he could her anger seething beneath it, the tidal wave about to break. He stared back at her, knowing the anger was not towards him but that this was simply a matter of wrong place/wrong time.
"Who am I?" she pleaded again. "What's wrong with me that I have to put up with all this sh*t? When do I get a break, huh? When are things gonna ever f*cking look up?"
Kane stared back evenly, and though his rage was quieter, it nearly matched her own.
"Look who you're asking."
Lita shook her head, coming back to herself a little bit. "Oh my God...Kane...I'm sorry..."
He waved off her apology. "Don't worry. I'm used to it."
"Yeah...but still. I'm sorry."
"I said not to worry about it."
"Right. Sorry."
"Could you just stop apologizing?"
Despite the situation, Lita giggled a little. "Okay. But I won't say I'm sorry for overapologizing."
"Good. Because it's too late to have to think about that big a paradox."
She smiled, shaking her head so wild, tear-dampened strands of hair swung across her face. "Why do you put up with me?"
"Because I have to?" Her glare indicated to him that she was still too vulnerable for kidding. "Okay, okay, sorry. Because..."
He wrapped her up in a huge bear hug. "Because you are such a sweet, wonderful person."
"Ugh, I could have handled the sarcasm better than the sappiness."
"In that case, because you're funny, ruthless, and still somehow caring."
She hugged him back. "I guess I can accept that."
"Of course, if I was Rey, I'd say I put up with you just 'cause I wanted to jump your body."
She looked up at him. "Good thing you're our shy giant, Kane, then, huh?"
"Good thing," he muttered gazing back down at her for a long moment.
Kane leaned towards her. Lita looked down and his lips grazed her forehead. She pulled away gently but firmly.
"I'll see you tomorrow then," she called without looking back as she fled out the door, not realizing that someone had seen them both, at that very moment.