Michael did stop by from time to time, usually a couple times a day. Now that Remus understood the significance of the fountain, he would have notified Catherine's brother immediately if there was a change in the figures. There was really no reason for Michael to Floo across the Atlantic Ocean twice a day when nothing had happened, but Remus was grateful that he did. The calm demeanor of Kate's brother was its own unspoken reassurance. He never stayed very long, but he always found time to speak to Remus, even if it was only a few words of comfort and a momentary clasp of his hand or pat on the back.
Michael had made what Remus thought of as his evening visit when Remus headed up to his room on the night of the full moon. Having drunk his Potion, Lupin turned his attention to his personal checklist - locking the doors, putting away his robes, and waiting for the inevitable. He hadn't been all that hungry lately, what with worrying about Kate's continued absence, but he forced himself to eat a substantial dinner. Given the ease of his last transformation, he assumed that tonight the full moon would pass without too much difficulty.
He was wrong.
The wolf emerged in the full throes of the hunting instinct, bounding toward the doors before Remus' mind subdued the animal's body. He had no time to even acknowledge his shock that this could happen - that the animal's instincts could override his control while his mind was still intact - when he was again assaulted by this body's instinctive predatory urges.
Bracing himself mentally, Remus managed to retain control. Probing tentatively, he tried to figure out what was upsetting his wolf aspect so much. The animal's instincts and emotions were much less complex than his own, and at first all he could sense was the need to hunt - which made no sense when he knew he wasn't hungry - accompanied by a mixture of anger and pain. It wasn't until the early hours of the morning that he finally puzzled through it.
He needed to find Kate.
His wolf side was aware that she was missing, and that something was wrong. It wanted to go find her. Remus hadn't understood what was happening, unable at first to distinguish between the wolf's urge to hunt to find rather than hunt for prey. He was quite accustomed to the latter, but it was the first time he had experienced the former.
When Remus transformed back to himself in the morning, he was exhausted. After the initial shock of losing control, he had maintained it the rest of the night, but it had been more difficult than he anticipated. His wolfish side could not comprehend why he was confined when he should be out hunting. It had wanted to howl, but Remus, who had not put a Silencing Charm on the room, refused to let it. He did manage to relieve his feelings a little by prowling anxiously around the room, but it did no more than take the worst edge off.
Back in his own body the following morning, he lay unmoving on the floor for a very long time.
***
The morning following the night of the full moon, Harry did not see Remus until lunch time. His former professor looked much as Harry had expected him to - which was not saying much - although he was noticeably quieter than usual, and excused himself directly after the meal.
For the rest of the day, he closeted himself in the library, apparently reading. Harry had joined him there for a while. Observing him from behind his own book, Harry had his doubts that Remus was actually absorbing anything from the pages in front of him, but he didn't seem to want to talk, so Harry gave up after a while and went upstairs to finally finish up an essay that would be due at the start of term, now less than two weeks away. Working diligently, he managed to just about finish it before dinner, when he set it aside and decided to go get something to eat.
As he passed through the central hall, he noticed that the cat on top of the fountain had changed positions. It was now standing upright, its front paws raised in the air as if about to spring. Harry wondered about this rather vaguely, but forgot about it as he went in to dinner and saw Remus.
Professor Lupin was looking thinner and more worn, and his eyes still held that bruised look. He seemed to be making an effort to speak to the rest of them in his normal manner, but he did not accompany them to the family room after dinner. Harry joined Ginny, Hermione and Charlie at the table there for a practice game of Tournament, but his mind wasn't on the game and he quickly begged off, using the excuse that he needed to polish his essay.
Much to his amazement, when he came into the central hall he saw that Catherine Clare was standing there, talking to Professors Dumbledore and Snape in a low voice. Her usually immaculate robes had scorch marks in places, and there were large rents in the skirt. Even from his vantage point across the hall and some distance away, Harry could see that she was very tired, but she was conversing fairly normally which had to mean she wasn't badly hurt.
Harry felt a wave of relief wash over him. Remus would be so pleased to see that she was safe.
Just then, Harry heard a door slam as though it had been pushed violently open, and Remus emerged from the library a moment later. He looked anything but pleased.
"Remus!" Catherine's eyes lit up and she took a step toward him as though out of instinct and then stopped. Remus had stopped too, still several feet away from her.
"I'm fine," she told him quickly. "The Time-Turner was damaged and I couldn't get back when I – "
"You're fine," Remus repeated flatly. He appeared to be literally shaking with the effort of controlling some powerful emotion. "You're fine," he said again, his voice picking up in volume. "Fine! Has it occurred to you that maybe it's sheer good fortune that you made it back here just fine?" It crossed Harry's mind that he had never heard Remus shout before. He was very good at it.
Catherine's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I'm not quite sure I perfectly understand your meaning," she intoned silkily.
"Uh-oh," Moody muttered under his breath, having just arrived next to Harry. Ginny and Hermione emerged from the family room a moment later, pausing on Moody's other side.
"I MEAN THAT YOU'VE BEEN ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT!" Remus bellowed. "What could you possibly have been thinking going up against four Death Eaters alone? Or were you even thinking at all?"
Nearly everyone in the house had arrived in the hall by now, which had fallen deathly silent. Remus and Catherine were facing each other like combatants, Remus, his chest heaving with fury, Catherine unnaturally still.
"I see." Catherine, who was now perfectly white, held herself with the proud composure of a queen. Her voice was colder than Harry had ever heard it, each word enunciated with the crystalline clarity of a drop of ice.
Remus, suddenly stricken, started to speak in a very different voice, "Kate, no, I – "
"I assure you that I will do everything in my power to see that you are not troubled by my thoughtlessness again in future. Gentlemen," still perfectly composed and rigidly erect, she gathered Dumbledore and Snape with her eyes, "shall we continue the debriefing in the study?" She left without as much as a single glance at Remus, Dumbledore and Snape following silently behind.
Much to Harry's amazement, he saw Snape glance at Remus in passing with something approaching sympathy.
"Damn," Moody muttered under his breath.
"What happened?" Ron asked. He had evidently been taking a bath; his hair was still wet, and he appeared to have thrown on his dressing gown hastily. Remus, moving like a man who has been mortally wounded, was heading blindly toward the front door.
"No, boy," Harry wasn't even aware he had started to follow Remus until Moody stopped him. "You can't help him now, give him a little time to calm down." Ron was looking at them with a puzzled expression.
"Why does he need to calm down?" Ron asked them. "Is everything all right?"
Harry wasn't sure what to say. Hermione broke the silence. "Miss Clare is back," she told him.
"Oh," Ron murmured still looking a little bewildered. "What's the matter with Professor Lupin?"
"That's between the two of them." Moody shot a penetrating look at Harry. "Outsiders trying to get mixed up in it will only make it worse." He stumped off.
There was a long silence. "Has everyone gone mad?" Ron demanded.
Hermione sighed and tried to explain. "Catherine Clare came back from wherever she's been, and Professor Lupin yelled at her. He's been terribly worried about her, but instead of saying so, he lost his temper and hurt her feelings. She got very formal and walked out with Dumbledore and Snape. Professor Lupin is still upset and now he doesn't know what to do, so he went outside."
Ron was staring at Hermione in amazement. "How do you know this stuff?"
Ginny rolled her eyes at her brother. "It's pretty obvious, really, if you're paying attention."
Ron turned to Harry. "Did Lupin really yell?" Harry nodded. "Because Catherine's back?" Harry shrugged. "Did you know they were – ?" Ron trailed off suggestively.
"Well, he never said anything," Harry answered carefully.
Ginny snorted. "That's probably the problem right there," she said wisely.
****
Remus didn't hear Michael approach until he sat down on the bench next to him.
"Michael," Remus greeted him, trying to pull himself together. "Catherine is fine, she's back. I'm sorry, I should have let you know - "
Michael waved his apologies away. "It's okay, I found out when I got here," he smiled. "This way, it was a nice surprise." Remus tried to return the smile, but it was a feeble effort.
"She's in the study at the moment, if, um, - "
"Yes, the debriefing," Michael said calmly. "Are you planning to join them?"
"What? I don't - " Remus swallowed hard. "You heard about it," he said sickly. "It was all my fault. I was completely in the wrong - I don't know how I could possibly have - " he trailed off.
"Oh, you definitely screwed up," Michael agreed comfortably. "I expect you're going to need to do more than apologize - actual groveling may be required." Remus groaned and dropped his head in his hands. Michael reached out to clasp his shoulder supportively.
"I don't know how to fix this," Remus admitted helplessly. "I don't even understand how it happened."
"I'd suggest talking to Catherine," her brother told him evenly. "Soon."
"She won't want to talk to me, not after - "
"The longer you don't talk to her, the longer she's going to have to convince herself that you meant what you said." Remus looked up, startled.
"She can't - I was totally in the wrong - "
"How would she know that's what you think if you don't tell her?" Michael pointed out reasonably.
"Come on," he directed, rising and pulling Remus to his feet at the same time. "I'll go break up the debriefing. After I reassure myself that my only sister is basically intact, you may be able to get a few minutes with her to start patching things up."
****
Michael was as good as his word. Dumbledore and Snape departed shortly after Catherine's brother entered the study, leaving Remus pacing nervously in the adjacent writing room. When the door opened a few minutes later, he looked up to find that Catherine was only a short distance away from him, having accompanied her brother to the door. Her eyes met his, and Remus was only dimly aware of Michael, sounding amused, saying he would show himself out.
Remus took a hesitant step forward. "Kate, I'm more sorry than I can tell you for the way I acted. I should never have spoken to you like that. I hope that you'll be able to forgive me."
Kate looked away, and he saw that her hand had tightened on the door. "I've been over and over it, and I don't know what else I could have done," she replied painfully. "Severus had to maintain his cover - he's much too important to the Order - and I couldn't trust Emmeline in a fight against Malfoy."
Hearing her question herself tore at his heart and he took another step forward, still not daring to touch her. He had to maintain his self control this time.
"Kate, you didn't do anything wrong, I know that," he assured her. She met his eyes again, her own hurt and indignant. "I don't have any right to express an opinion, but it sounds like you were very smart and very brave."
"You yelled at me," she protested. "I don't understand why you yelled at me."
Because I wanted to take you in my arms and snog you senseless for scaring the hell out me and I couldn't.
The answer presented itself to his mind with crystalline clarity, and he knew immediately that it was the truth. Seeing her simply hadn't been enough. He had been consumed by a primitive need to touch her, illogically unable to accept that she was really safe without the reassurance of a physical contact that was forbidden to him.
Now, he couldn't even tell her the whole truth, and he prayed that he could somehow salvage their relationship with only the portion of the truth that he dared to admit.
"I was afraid something had happened to you, and I reacted very badly just because I was worried. Please don't let it undermine your confidence in yourself - I didn't mean anything I said, I just didn't handle it very well." He wasn't sure who moved to close the remaining distance between them.
"I didn't want you to be worried," Kate was assuring him earnestly, but her nearness assaulted his senses and he couldn't seem to concentrate properly on her words, not now, when he had no defenses left. "I really tried to get back when I was supposed to, but I couldn't get the Time-Turner to reset! I finally had to reverse the last use, but I'd already been there for more than a week and I - " Remus cut her off by the simple expedient of covering her mouth with his own.
She was in his arms and he was kissing her fiercely, with a desperate hunger that bore no resemblance to the tentative exploration that should have marked this first kiss. Instead, there was only raw need, and the glorious feeling of her body caught so intimately against his own as he plundered the heady sweetness of her lips.
Then, by some miracle, he felt her mouth opening beneath him in response, granting him the deeper access he craved, and her hands were on his back, holding him in return - and any hope of a return to rational thought deserted him as the last fragment of his control shattered.
He was so lost in the wonder of her that he never remembered how they managed to get upstairs.
****
Remus slept long and deeply, but he was pleased to find that he still woke before Catherine. In her sleep, she unconsciously accepted the way his body had wrapped itself protectively around her, and he wanted to enjoy the feeling of being able to hold her so closely. He wasn't sure whether he would ever have a moment like this again, and he was going to savor every heavenly sensation - the warmth of her skin, the gentle movement of her chest in time with her breathing, and the delicious womanly scent that was somehow Kate.
Even as every fiber of his being drank in her nearness, fear began to niggle at the back of his mind. What would she think when she woke up? After the way he had behaved - Remus flushed as he remembered.
Kate woke up more gradually than he had expected, seemingly content to continue dozing just where she was even as she returned to consciousness.
"Morning," he murmured huskily, daring to place a light kiss on the nape of her neck in greeting.
"Mmm." She made a noise he interpreted as acknowledgment but didn't open her eyes.
His arms tightened around her, and she snuggled obligingly closer without speaking.
"I know we need to talk," he began.
"Mmh."
"We probably should have talked last night, before, well - " he continued. If he was honest with himself, he hadn't dared to tell her that he loved her. She had been in his arms, responding to him, and he had needed her too desperately to risk anything that might make her hesitate in allowing him to love her.
Now he had to face the consequences of his cowardice - making the confession he should have made last night and praying that she would give him another chance. So much for the famous Gryffindor courage, he thought, and stumbled on.
"Sometimes there can be an imbalance in a relationship, when the feelings of one of the parties are more engaged than the other's," he continued. To his surprise, Catherine pulled herself out of his arms and had turned around to face him. Her eyes were open now, and she was frowning at him. His heart sank.
"It doesn't mean that the relationship can't work," he went on determinedly. She didn't have to return his feelings, if only she would allow him to stay with her. He was past the point of worrying about his pride where Kate was concerned. "It merely - "
"This sounds like I conversation I need to be fully awake to cope with," Kate told him grimly. "We can resume it after I've had a shower and dressed." She immediately rolled herself out of bed and disappeared into the bathroom. He heard the shower running a moment later.
There seemed to be nothing else to do but get dressed himself and wait for her to return. He restored the bed they had shared to order with a pang and waited. A short time after the shower stopped, he saw a tray appear on the table in front of the fireplace and walked over to it. His morning coffee was sharing a tray with her morning cocoa, and he stared down at them for a moment, achingly aware of how much he wanted to see this exact sight every morning for the rest of his life.
"Would you prefer something else?" Catherine asked from across the room. Remus turned to look at her, standing there in the light of the late morning sun.
"I beg your pardon?"
She walked over to pick up her cocoa. "You were looking upset at the coffee. Would you prefer something else?" she repeated, seating herself on the sofa across from the fire.
"No, no." Remus, after a short internal debate, joined her on the sofa. Catherine shot him a look he could only describe as wary, took a sip of her cocoa and set the cup down. She appeared to be bracing herself, he concluded with some dismay.
"Kate," he began again, "I know that you must have realized the strength of my feelings for you at this point - " Remus was pleased that he managed to keep his voice fairly steady as he spoke, " - and I know that it's far too soon to expect you to feel anything comparable in return - " He had been watching her expression anxiously and was startled when her eyes widened in sudden astonishment.
"Oh!" With only that sudden exclamation for warning, Kate launched herself into his arms, which closed instinctively around her.
"Kate?" he asked hoarsely. "What - " She cut off his speech with a very enthusiastic kiss, and Remus felt little champagne explosions of delight within.
"Oh, Remus, I got everything backwards and I've been miserable," she explained in a rush as soon as she freed her lips. "I thought you were telling me you would never love me back! But you do, don't you? Or at least, you don't mind? I mean, about my - " Remus covered her mouth with his for a long, delirious moment.
When he finally pulled away, just a little, she was looking delightfully dazed. I did that, he thought in a strange combination of smugness, amazement, and masculine satisfaction.
"I don't mind at all," he said hoarsely, blissfully unaware that he was looking more than a little dazed himself. "I love you, and I'm in love with you, and I have been for a very long time."
"Oh, good. Because I'm dreadfully in love with you too." Tears were welling up in her blue-gray eyes, and she started laughing and dabbing at them with the sleeve of her robe. "Isn't it ridiculous? Crying because you're happy?"
"I don't think it's ridiculous at all," Remus declared, hanging on to her almost fearfully. He hadn't believed he was capable of feeling this way. It was too much to accept.
"Kate, are you sure?" he asked her in a very different voice. He didn't know if he could bear it if he dared to believe this and then he lost her. "That you want me? I mean, I'm not much of a catch, an impoverished werewolf who's seen too much - "
"Remus, I'm sure," Kate cut him off quite decidedly, and with a tart edge to her voice that inexplicably thrilled him. "Mostly because I've more than half a brain! You're an intelligent, capable man, with a wonderful sense of humor, who also happens to be the kindest and most considerate human being I've ever known. Of course I want you!" Remus felt tears welling in his own eyes and raised her hand to his lips in wordless gratitude.
"I also think you'd be a wonderful father," she added somewhat tentatively.
"Father?" he echoed, still stunned and off balance in the wake of the revelation that Kate wanted him. The word conjured up a host of intoxicating images - Kate holding a baby, their child, with blue-gray eyes so like her own - a miniature version of his beloved Kate toddling through the halls of Stone House, as willful and loving as her talented and temperamental mother - the two of them standing together on platform nine and three-quarters, his arm about her as they waved their children off to the school that had meant so much to him -
"Would you mind if we had a few children?" Kate was asking, still a little hesitant. "I know you've had a lot of responsibility for Harry the last few years, and I'd understand if - "
"I think children would be wonderful," he assured her, unable to find a word that did not understate his feelings. She was still looking a little dubious.
"I think I ought to warn you that some of the children in our family tend to be a little, um - "
"Precocious?" he suggested, unable to suppress his delight. "Darling, you're forgetting that I met Annabel."
"You don't mind?" Remus laughed out loud, the champagne bubbles of happiness exploding into geysers.
"I think I can handle the cuddling involved," he assured her, pulling her closer to demonstrate. "A method of distraction I'm willing to practice almost endlessly!" Catherine nestled happily into his arms.
"I do think we ought to talk about getting married first," Remus said after a satisfactory interval.
"How about this weekend?" she responded contentedly.
"This weekend?" Kate nodded.
"Well, there's not that much time left before school starts," she explained. "I assumed you were going to ask - "
"Yes, I was," he admitted. "If you don't mind, that is. He did rather - "
"Don't be silly, of course you should ask him."
"Can we get everything ready in time? Weddings can be awfully complicated to plan."
"I don't care about the wedding, I just want us to be married. That part only takes a few minutes," she pointed out. "Unless you would prefer - "
"The only thing better than being married to you this weekend would be being married to you this minute." Smiling, he brushed another soft kiss across her lips, reveling in his freedom to do so. "I expect there will still be a lot of planning, but at least it will be over soon."
"Well," Catherine's eyes were twinkling impishly at him and he couldn't help smiling in return, "I do have an idea about how to handle that."
"Tell me," he prompted.
She did.