Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki, they are rightfully belonged to Kazuya Minekura. ^_^

Pairing(s): Sanzo/Goku, hinted Gojyo/Hakkai.

Warning: Some foul languages, OOC-ness, shounen ai.

Summary: The rule of a monk is to be a vegetarian, never to kill, gamble and love. Goku found out about it just as he was about to confess his love for his keeper, Sanzo. Innocently forgetting Sanzo did not ever obeyed the rules at all, Goku started hesitating about whether to confess or not.

Being In Love

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Chapter Three

Sun shines through the window and awaken the blonde in the room. Sitting up from his bed, the blonde stretched himself a little before he decided to get off the bed. Just as he got out of bed, he heard a soft cooing sound outside the room. Then all of a sudden, he realized something is amiss. Turning his attention to his side, he found out that he was actually alone in the room.

The futon was folded neatly against the wall along with the comforter and a certain golden-eyed youth was nowhere to be seen.

'When did the monkey learned to wake up early in the morning?' Sanzo thought, getting out off bed and heading out of room. When he walked out the door of his room, the said youth greeted him cheerfully.

"Ohiyo, Sanzo." Goku chirped.

Then followed by a cooing sound he heard earlier, "Kyuu~"

Seeing the white dragon on Goku's shoulder, Sanzo wondered why it was here but never care instead he turned to Goku and asked, "Why are you up so early today? Another nightmare?"

Saddens a little, Goku just nodded, "Yeah, and I couldn't get myself to sleep after that so I sat here for the pass two hours, then Hakuryu came and accompanied me." Patting Hakuryu's head gently, Goku smiled slightly and said, "It's a weird dream, but I'm okay now since Hakuryu had been cheering me up."

Ruffling Goku's hair, Sanzo said, "Let's go and get our breakfast in town with those two idiots."

"Eh?" Goku looked up at Sanzo in surprise.

"That's what you wanted yesterday, wasn't it?" asked Sanzo, coolly.

Smiling, Goku nodded, "Hai."

Then Goku get off from where he was sitting on and followed Sanzo towards the entrance of the temple. Knowing and understanding that Sanzo cares of him, though not literally, Goku was already glad.

***

"Yo, corrupted monk, bakasaru!" Gojyo greeted.

"Stop calling me that!" Goku shouted.

"You are a saru anyway!" Gojyo teased on.

"Would two shut up? Early in the morning you two wanted to die already?" Sanzo yelled, pointing his gun at Gojyo instead of Goku. "Stop starting your damn bickers or I'll not hesitate but send you to hell! I prefer an obedient monkey so don't you dare start bickering with him!"

"Oh, so the monk finally stands up and defend the monkey!" Gojyo mocked and ignored Sanzo's glare.

Before Sanzo could kill Gojyo, Hakkai walked down the stairs of the inn and greeted, "Ohiyo, Sanzo, Goku."  Then when he spotted his pet dragon, he asked, "Ah, Hakuryu, there you are, where were you?"

The said dragon landed on Goku's shoulder and cooed happily, "Kyu~"

"He was accompanying me." Goku told Hakkai.

"I see." Hakkai smiled. "Well, let's order our breakfast."

The former Sanzo-ikkou sat together and has their breakfast together. Chatting about their past journey to the west and about how they were living now. Gojyo and Hakkai still live together and Gojyo still gambles to make money. Hakkai was able to get a job as a teacher again.

After they had finished their meals, Sanzo stood up and turned to the exit of the inn. Goku stared up at him and ask, "Sanzo, where are you going?"

"Back to the temple." Sanzo replied, without looking back. "You can stay, I'm not grounding you today anyway. I got work to do, so I need to go back."

"Hai… " Goku nodded and watched Sanzo left the inn. Then when he's sure Sanzo had left, he turned back to Gojyo and Hakkai. "Nei, I got something to ask the both of you."

Hakkai and Gojyo both turned to Goku, "Eh?"

"Something I dare not ask when Sanzo's around." Goku added, turning serious.

"What is it?" asked Hakkai, smiling.

Goku stared at the table instead of Hakkai and ask, "Why am I feeling so weird whenever Sanzo's around? Like I feel very happy just seeing Sanzo and depressed all of a sudden when he's not around. Then I felt my heart beating very fast when I looked into his eyes. What is this sort of feeling?"

Gojyo and Hakkai exchanged glances for a while before they turned back to Goku and smiled.

"Why am I feeling like that?" asked Goku again, now looking up to the both of them.

"Goku, I guess… You're in love." Hakkai replied.

"Eh!" Goku blushed adorably. "I'm… I'm in love?"

Gojyo doesn't want to joke around when Goku looks so serious, so he decided to help out. "Well, you're in love, saru. Happy when he's around but uneasy when he's not; and it's up to you whether you have the guts to confess to Sanzo."

"Confess… " Goku murmured uneasily. "But what if he rejected me?"

Hakkai smiled and leans forward to place a hand on Goku's shoulder,  "Well, I honestly don't think Sanzo hates you, Goku. What if he also loves you?"

Shrugging, Goku sighed again and murmurs, "but I'm still worried."

"Don't worry, Goku, have faith in yourself!" Gojyo encouraged. "Judging by the way he defends you earlier, I bet he likes you, too."

Goku just smiled slightly and nodded, "I'll give it a try then."

"That's the spirit!" Hakkai chirped.

***

Outside the inn…

"We'll come and visit you again, Goku." Hakkai said, starting the engine of the jeep. "You should come over to visit us sometimes, too, so I can cook you something you love to eat."

"Yeah, saru, also drag your beloved Sanzo along so we can play mahjong." Gojyo teased.

Goku blushed a little at what Gojyo said but never fight back, "I will, if I can."

"Well, we better get going now. Hope to see you soon, Goku." Hakkai waved before he drove off.

Goku just waved back and watched the jeep goes. After the jeep was out of sight, Goku turned towards the direction of the temple and thought of how he should confess his love for Sanzo. He knew it'd not be easy when he face Sanzo but he just got to say it. Walking back towards the temple, Goku thought off how he should do it?

***

When Goku reached the temple, he saw a group of young monks studying in fields with the elder. Quietly walking pass the monks and bowed his respect to the elder monk like he always does, Goku continued his thoughts. However he snapped out off it when elder monk started a conversation with him.

"Goku, going to look for Sanzo-sama again?" asked the elder.

Goku nodded, "Hai." He was respectful to the elder because he was nice to him and that he was also someone Goku turned to when he wanted to study. "Is Sanzo in his office?"

"Yes, doing his work as usual." The elder nodded. "Why not study with us? Today we're learning the 'rule of a monk'. Sanzo-sama got loads of work to do today so you better not disturb him. Sit around and study with them."

Shrugging, Goku nodded, "All right then." Instead of sitting down, Goku leans against a tree. Goku knew he would doze off if he sits down. However respectful he was to the elder, Goku couldn't help but felt bored, listening to his lecture. 'I sure have a bad timing running into this.'

"Well, let me tell you what a real monk should be. These are the rules to keep being able to gain respect from outsider, as a monk." The elder started. "Repeat after me, the rule of a monk. A monk must be a vegetarian."

The young monks repeated as were told.

"A monk must never kill, even if it is a mere insect; never gamble even if it's a game."

Again the young monks repeated.

"Most importantly, a monk must never fall in love with anyone." The elder finished and the monks repeated again. "It's severe if a monk breaks the rule especially when it's about love relationship. They will be punished!"

Jerking away from the tree he was leaning on, suddenly, Goku was shocked at what he had just heard. He had never knew the rules of a monk even when he often heard Gojyo teasing Sanzo about what a corrupted monk he was in the past. Does that means that Sanzo couldn't love? Goku was very confused now.

"Goku!"

Turning to the voice, he saw Sanzo. Doesn't know what he should say or what to do, Goku just looked up at Sanzo dazedly.

"What's wrong with you? Come to my office!" Sanzo demanded.

Goku just nodded and walked towards Sanzo.

Deciding to push away the thoughts of confessing, Goku followed Sanzo to his office without a word.

Sanzo finds it very troubling that Goku was being so quiet. Usually, Goku would start a conversation with him and bug him but today, he felt that another being had replaced Goku. Stopping halfway, Sanzo turned around to face Goku.

"Why are you so quiet, it's so unlike you?" Sanzo asked.

Goku tilted his head away and said nothing. He was not in the mood to talk to Sanzo now. He doesn't want to gain a deeper feeling for Sanzo anymore. Knowing that a monk couldn't love, Goku wanted to give up now. He doesn't want Sanzo to get punished.

"Goku, I'm talking to you not to the wall." Sanzo said. Noticing something is terribly troubling Goku, Sanzo decided not to be too rough on Goku. "What's wrong? Why do you look so upset? Who upsets you?"

Just as Sanzo was about to reach out his hand to place it on Goku's head, Goku smacked his hand away and ran off, ignoring Sanzo calling him to halt. He just felt like running away before going in too deep. He just got to be far away from where Sanzo was. He couldn't bring himself to face Sanzo again at the moment.

Watching Goku running out off the temple, Sanzo was utterly surprised that Goku just ran off like that. He felt like it was his fault judging by the reaction he gains from Goku just now. Not wanting to lose Goku, Sanzo ran after him after a long pause of silence took place right after Goku ran off. 'What in the world had I done this time?'

***

"What should I do now? Why is it so painful?" Goku sobbed as he hugged his knees tighter. He had ran to town and was sitting by the river, crying. Confused of what he should do next, Goku just sat where he was, staring at the flowing river sadly. "Maybe I should give up… Maybe that's the only choice left and if I don't, Sanzo might get punished... "

As innocent as he was, Goku never truly thought that loving someone would hurt him so much. He had never truly loves someone before that he hoped that it was just a dream, or was it a nightmare? He really doesn't want to go on anymore or it would hurt him ever deeper. He doesn't want Sanzo to get punished because of him and he had already decided to give up; but it was easier said than done.

Then a sudden thought came to his mind, 'Maybe if I leave the temple, I could be able to forget Sanzo and find myself a new life… '

"Leave the temple… " Goku murmured as he continued staring at the river solemnly. Do he really have the heart to leave the temple anyway? "Give up… "

"Give up what?"

Startled by the deep voice he came to know so well, Goku turned around and saw, to his shock, Sanzo standing just behind him. Too shock to speak, Goku just stare.

"And what do you mean by leaving the temple?" asked Sanzo again, as he panted. He had been running around town searching for Goku so he was sweating and panting tiredly. "And what is it that you're going to give up?"

Turning away after realizing that he had been staring, Goku frowned and hissed, "N… None of your business!"

"What?" Sanzo widened his eyes in surprise. Did Goku just talked back?

Goku talked back on purpose. He just got to find ways to leave Sanzo. Thoughts of making Sanzo hates him came to his mind right after he arrived. Thinking that it's the only way to break away from Sanzo, Goku wanted to go on with his plan. "I said… I said it's none of your business! Don't you understand!"

Knowing perfectly well that Goku was very troubled by something, Sanzo did not just back off, leaving Goku alone, but walked forward until he was just few inches away from him. Staring down at the sad youth, Sanzo demanded, "What's troubling you anyway? Tell me!"

Goku stood up and back a few small steps since the river was just behind him. Staring back at Sanzo who was staring at him, Goku decided that ending it now it's better then ending it later. Shutting his eyes tightly, Goku shouted, "Leave me alone and whatever my problem is, it's none of your business! I'll handle it myself just leave me alone!!!"

It seems to Sanzo that whatever he says couldn't reach Goku anymore; Sanzo did what his heart tells him to do. Instead of putting a hand on Goku's head like he always did, Sanzo pulled Goku into his embrace, much to Goku's surprise, and hold him tight. "Baka!" Sanzo started. "How the hell can I leave you alone since you told me not to!? What in the world is wrong with you all of a sudden!? What had that damn kappa said to you anyway? Goku, please just fucking tell me what's troubling you already?"

Stunned by Sanzo's action, Goku just stayed in his arms, motionless but silent tears started to fall, even though he struggled to hold back when Sanzo came.

"Who have hurt you, Goku?" asked Sanzo, with a more gentle voice. "This is so unlike you; do you know that? What's wrong? You never keep anything from me before, so tell me what's bothering you?"

Trembling with slight fear and nervousness, Goku let another soft sob escaped his lips before he murmured, "Let go off me… Let go! Please, just let go off me!"

"No, I won't let go until you tell me your problems." Sanzo replied. Then he turned serious and admitted, murmuring, "and I've longed to hold you in my arms and I'm not letting you go, ever! I know that if I let go now, you'd leave the temple, leave this place and worst of all, leave me! I don't want that! I don't want to lose someone I love and cherished the most again."

"Eh!!"

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To be continued…

A/N: How was it? Nice or not? I like Sanzo doing the confession before Goku does. Will they get together? Will Goku accept Sanzo's feelings?  Find out in the next chapter! I'm gladly happy that you guys reviewed me, thanks a lot. ^_^