Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki, they are rightfully belonged to Kazuya Minekura. ^_^

Pairing(s): Sanzo/Goku, hinted Gojyo/Hakkai.

Warning: Some foul languages, OOC-ness, shounen ai.

Summary: The rule of a monk is to be a vegetarian, never to kill, gamble and love. Goku found out about it just as he was about to confess his love for his keeper, Sanzo. Innocently forgetting Sanzo did not ever obeyed the rules at all, Goku started hesitating about whether to confess or not.

Being In Love

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Chapter Four

"No, I won't let go until you tell me your problems." Sanzo replied. Then he turned serious and admitted, murmuring, "and I've longed to hold you in my arms and I'm not letting you go, ever! I know that if I let go now, you'd leave the temple, leave this place and worst of all, leave me! I don't want that! I don't want to lose someone I love and cherished the most again."

"Eh!!"

***

Silence hung around the air after Sanzo's confession. Goku was too stunned to move or say anything, still in the embrace of Sanzo. Shocked that Sanzo actually confessed to him, Goku was unable to struggle against Sanzo's hold as all his energy had left him since he stopped his struggling a few minutes ago.

"Aishiteru, Goku." Sanzo repeated the same words he had said yesterday. The only difference was that Goku was fully awake and was in his arms this time, listening, than sleeping in his room, unaware of what he said. "I'm serious, Goku. I really love you and I don't wish to be apart from you so don't leave."

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Goku was able to find his voice to speak, "I don't want to listen… "

Surprised that Goku was still fighting back, he pulled away and held Goku at arms' length, "I'm truly serious, Goku," Sanzo repeated. " I'm not joking with you! When did I joke around anyway?" Shaking Goku back and forth gently, Sanzo continues, "Why are you turning into a cold bastard yourself now?"

More tears flushed down Goku's face, as he couldn't take it anymore. Surrendering to his heart content, Goku suddenly laid his head on Sanzo's shoulder and let a sob escapes his lips. Then he murmured, "I don't want to be apart from Sanzo, too… But… But I can't bear to let you being punished because of this feeling you had for me and the feeling I had for you... It's exactly the same… "

"Goku, you… " Sanzo was cut off.

"I love you, too, Sanzo, but I can't stay with you like this since you'll be punished if we go on." Goku pulled back from Sanzo's embrace this time and looked up to Sanzo, smiling and blushing at the same time, saying, "I'm glad to hear that you had the same feelings for me but I'm afraid that I can't stay with you. I don't want you to suffer the punishment of the temple"

"What are you trying to say? What punishment? What do you mean that you couldn't stay with me?" asked Sanzo, getting really confused. "What the hell are you trying to say?"

Deciding that telling Sanzo would be easier to get over this, Goku sighed and explained, "Earlier when I was with the elder, he said that a monk mustn't love and if one was to have this feelings for someone, they must be punished severely. I don't want you to suffer."

Doesn't really know whether he should kill the elder or hit the monkey silly; Sanzo was totally pissed off now. Knocking Goku's head with his fist, Sanzo glared at him and scolded, "You really am a baka! Who dares to punish me anyway? And when did I ever follow rules? I live my life the way I like, I don't take rules and no one could ever command me on what I should do and what I shouldn't. No one controls my fate. I choose my own destiny, my own path, and so should you, bakasaru!!"

Realization hits Goku hard on the back of his head after Sanzo finished what he said. Right, Sanzo never followed orders from anyone, or did he ever follow rules. Feeling silly, Goku blushed deeper with embarrassment and kept quiet.

Then after a short moment of silence, Sanzo lifted Goku's chin with his fingers and smiled slightly, "If that bothers you so much, I can stripped off my title as Sanzo and we'll live out alone, just the two of us together." Sanzo said, lifting another hand to brush away Goku's remaining tears. "Free and peaceful, without other monks bothering you and no more work for me to do. We can even become those two idiots neighbors, if you want."

Touched by what Sanzo said, Goku smiled genuinely and shook his head, "It's okay. You don't have to go that far… I'd be happy just staying by your side… "  Goku looked away, nervous at what he had said, before he continues. "It's enough for me already… I won't leave the temple, and I'll not leave you… Let's just stay the way it is."

"Is it really okay? I mean to keep it as it is? Does that mean that we have to hide our relationship?" Sanzo asked, eyes locking with Goku's golden ones. "I don't like that… I don't want that… "

Placing a finger on Sanzo's lips, Goku shook his head once again and said, "I don't mind. You'll lose the reason of being a Sanzo if you stripped off that title. Hakkai already told me everything concerning your past, when we were still journeying to the west. Think about the sutras you protected for so long and think about the faith other people we know, throughout the journey, holds in you. You can't quit now, Sanzo."

Taken aback by what Goku had said, Sanzo stared at Goku for a while than he averted his attention to his side and touched his sutra with his fingers. 'You can't buried yourself in the past forever, think about now. What's before you is most important than your past.' A voice entered his mind and it sounded very familiar, so familiar that he couldn't help but word out 'old hag' under his breath. 'I dare you to say that again!'

The nosy goddess of mercy up in heaven just glared down her lotus pond, at Sanzo, though she knew that couldn't reach him. Then she smiles and continued watching them, gladly happy for them.

Back to Sanzo and Goku…

Staring back into Goku's eyes, Sanzo shook his head to Goku this time around and smiled slightly. Admitting to what the 'old hag' had told him earlier, Sanzo says, "let's not talk about the past and look forward, Goku." Brushing a few brown strands out of Goku's face, he goes on, "I don't want to think about the past anymore. I want to look ahead. I promised you one thing, Goku."

"Eh? What is it?" asked Goku, who had been quiet under Sanzo's gaze. His blush deepens as Sanzo leans closer. Their faces were just inches away and Goku could feel Sanzo's breath on him and forehead touching his.

"I won't make you sulk on raining days again." Sanzo murmured softly before leaning forward and pressed his lips against Goku into a passionate kiss. A kiss that goes on for their second and so on.

After they ended their kiss, the new lovers sat by the river, watching the sunset together before they went to one of the restaurants in town to have their dinner. Then they returned back to the temple, hand in hand.

***

After their confessions, Sanzo and Goku were mostly seen together. Sanzo was silently planning on leaving the temple even though Goku had reasoned to him that he should stay. He couldn't stand to see Goku tolerating the monks anymore and the fact that they are lovers only when they are alone. He truly doesn't like this. Keeping it from Goku, Sanzo was doing it the hard way to get ready for their departure.

On the other hand, Goku becomes more cheerful than he ever was. It's been a week since Sanzo and him got together, and he had been really happy that he had even wrote a letter to Gojyo and Hakkai, telling them everything had gone pretty successful and thanked them for their advices. Forgetting his earlier worries, Goku returned to his lively self again.

Bouncing through hallway of the temple, Goku was on his way towards Sanzo's office after his rounds of tag and hide-and-seek with the kids in town. Becoming reasonable as time goes by, Goku had learnt that Sanzo truly needs a lot of time to do his work. Knowing that Sanzo likes doing his work in peace, Goku skips out to town everyday after breakfast, to play with the kids who really enjoy his company.

When he reached Sanzo's office, he sensed that Sanzo wasn't alone inside. Peeking from the half open door, he saw it was the elder monk, and he was talking to Sanzo. Thinking that staying outside would be best than jumping in, Goku walked over to the pond, in the middle of the field, and sat on one of the stones around it.

Just after a minute Goku had settled down, the door to Sanzo's office opened and out came the elder with Sanzo 'kindly' gesturing him out, in an urgent-sort of manner. Goku never noticed this as he was occupied with his own thoughts and was humming a melody that suits his thoughts now, daydreaming away, uncaring of what was happening around him.

"Would you mind leave now? I got to prepare to take the monkey out for dinner!" Sanzo said, trying to sound calm and casual, as he tried to push the elder out off his office. "I really don't have time to listen to all the crap about the damn festive season!"

"But it's important as you're the guest of the day." The elder reasoned but was totally push towards the field.

"I don't give a damn!" Sanzo hissed.

Sighing in defeat, the elder bowed and left, "Very well then, we'll talk about it some other times."

After the elder left, Sanzo turned for his office, anticipating Goku's return. Just as he takes a step forward, the side of Sanzo's eye caught sight of the said youth he was hoping to see. Turning to the field, Sanzo called, "Goku! Get in here!"

Snapping out off his reverie, Goku turned and saw Sanzo motioning him to get in his office. Getting the sign, Goku stood up and stretched a little before walking to Sanzo's direction.

***

"Nei, Sanzo, when are you going to be free? I'm hungry!" Goku whined. He was standing by the window, leaning against the side of it, facing Sanzo. "The sun's about to set and you haven't finish, couldn't it wait till tomorrow?"

Sighing in exasperation, Sanzo placed his pen and documents aside before he stood up from his desk. "You're really noisy, did you know that?" Sanzo murmured, walking towards Goku. When Sanzo was near Goku, he wrapped an arm around his waist and pulls him close, whispering, "You will have your dinner once I'm done with you."

"Mou, Sanzo-!" Goku was cut off as Sanzo had captured his lips into a fervent kiss. Blushing when Goku felt Sanzo's tongue nudging on his lips, he just willingly open his mouth and responded to the kisses as it deepens.

Tightens the hold around Goku's waist, Sanzo pulled himself closer to Goku and pinned him onto the wall behind his back. Parting from the kiss, Sanzo started trailing kisses down Goku's jaw. Hearing Goku's soft moan, Sanzo smirked a little before he targeted Goku's neck and bit a small mark there, causing the youth to let out a sudden gasp.

"Sanzo!"

Ignoring Goku, Sanzo continues trailing kisses around Goku's neck then going back to attack his lips.

A soft knock was heard from the door but Sanzo was too occupied with what he is doing so did not realize but Goku did. Just as Goku opened his eyes, he was terribly shock to see the elder opens the door and was about to word out something but froze in the spot where he stood as he witnesses what was happening in the room. Acting fast, Goku pushes Sanzo off him, broke the kiss instantly and looks away in embarrass.

When Sanzo was about to question Goku, the elder spoke first. "What in the world are you doing, Sanzo-sama!?"

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To be continued…

A/N: Another chapter done. I was planning to stop at chapter 5 but it seems to be getting longer then what I expected. Hope the confession part doesn't disappoints you. Next chapter, will they stay together? I think I could make Gojyo and Hakkai appearance in the story again since they rarely shows up. Hope you like this chapter anyway!  Thanks for the reviews! You're all the best! ^_^