Chapter 2: Back at the Burrow
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Yes, I think I'm okay, Walked into the door again
If you ask that's what I'll say, And it's not your business anyway
I guess I'd like to be alone, With nothing broken, nothing thrown
Just don't ask me how I am
[My Name is Luka - Suzanne Vega]
~*~
Ron woke and rolled over turning to the cot to see Harry lying there. He was surprised to see his friend in such a pitiful state. Harry stirred in his sleep causing his shirt to slide up, revealing bruises and red marks. Ron didn't know what to say. Instead he started moving around the room rather noisily. Harry sat up in bed rubbing his eyes.
"G' morning," he murmured sleepily.
"Oh, your awake," said Ron sheepishly as he sat down the various items he had been moving around the dresser.
"How could I not be with all the noise your making," said Harry trying to lighten the mood as he grinned at his friend. He stopped when all he received from Ron was a half attempt at a smile.
"Oh," said Ron awkwardly, "I guess we should go eat breakfast."
"Ok," said Harry getting up off the cot. They walked downstairs together. Mrs. Weasley began to set the table for breakfast as everyone sat down. Harry sat between Ron and Ginny. Hermione was also there, apparently she had gotten there a few days earlier and was staying with Ginny.
"Oh, hello Dear," Mrs. Weasley said and smiled, as she began to load his plate full, Harry made no objection after having such pitiful meals at the Dursley home. Though he soon found his apetite was smaller than he thought and was full before most of his plate was cleared.
Ron and Harry played a couple games of chess and as usual Ron won all of them. Then they went outside and practiced Quidditch skills throwing around some apples in the orchard, Ron on Fred's old CleanSweep7. Ginny came out to join them borrowing George's broom. Apparently Ron had his eye on a position as keeper and Ginny as a chaser whenever a spot opened. They were both quite good. Hermione joined them as well and they were surprised to see she wasn't that bad, though she had no urge to try for the Gryffindor team. Harry had a better time than he'd had all summer, but there was still no familiar gleam to his eyes. They seemed dark dull as if he were trying to hide all emotions. He still hadn't really recovered from the previous year's experience, feeling responsible for Voldemort's return to his body and Cedric's death.
Later that night after everyone had gone to bed and Ron lay snoring Harry crept out of the house to the lake nearby. He settled himself under a large tree and put his head between his hands. He couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened with Voldemort's return.(Apparently the ministry continued to deny his return but the dark mark continued to appear over the homes of both wizards and muggles alike.)
He sat there with his head in his hands, just muttering to himself, releasing what he'd been keeping bottled inside, "...my entire fault, It's all my fault, Cedric, Voldemort, everything." Half-heartedly he threw a stone into the lake. "How could I have been so dumb?" He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around shocked and embarrassed to see Ginny standing by him in her nightdress.
"I'm sorry I couldn't help but hear you," said Ginny, "but it's not your fault."
"Yes it is," said Harry, not sure how to explain it, "You don't understand it..."
"No," said Ginny as she sat down beside him, "I know how you feel, don't you remember the Chamber of Secrets."
"Yes," said Harry, looking down at the ground, ashamed. He couldn't believe he'd almost forgotten. She put her hands on his shoulders and told him, "You can't keep blaming yourself. It won't help anything. There is nothing you can do to change what happened. You can only do something about the future. Do you know how long it took me to figure that out?"
He looked at her and finally spoke, "I guess you're right. It's just that I was the one who told Cedric to take the cup with me and…" He stopped. He couldn't believe how much he'd just revealed, but somehow it felt good, to have it lifted off his shoulders like that.
"You told him to take the cup, because you are a good person. Besides, You had no idea what would happen…" she told him and then asked quietly "Harry, What did happen?"
"Do you really want to know?" he asked, turning to her.
"Only if you want to talk about it," she replied, afraid she was overstepping the boundaries. She didn't want to force him to if he wasn't ready.
"It's ok," he said, surprising himself and he launched into his story after a short pause during which she simply nodded. He blinked back tears as he told her, all about the tournament, the third task, Voldemort. His throat was growing raw and he felt as if he was reliving it. Ginny began to grow concerned and soon told him he didn't have to finish, but he simply shook his head and continued the story. There was no point in stopping now, he was almost done. Besides, he was beginning to think if he stopped talking he'd start crying and that wouldn't be good, not at all. He wasn't supposed to cry. He was supposed to be the brave one. 'Hell with that,' he thought bitterly as he felt the tears welling in his eyes. He was powerless to stop them. He felt so embarrassed, ashamed. He tried to turn away, but Ginny just hugged him and he felt himself relaxing. It surprised him. He never opened up to anyone like that before. He just didn't do that. He hadn't even told Ron and Hermione yet. 'Maybe that's because they didn't ask. Because they were afraid to,' A tiny voice nagged in the back of his head. It was true, he had to admit. They had never asked him, but that wasn't necessarily their fault. After all, he'd given the impression of wanting to be left alone.
"It'll be alright," she said, her voice had become soothing somehow. They sat there for a long time in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable, more like peaceful. They leaned next to each other against the large tree until Ginny fell asleep on his shoulder. It would be a shame to wake her up he thought and then an idea came to him. He carefully picked her up, trying not to stir her too much and walked across the large lawn to the house. He crept quietly up the stairs to her room and laid her on the bed, whispering a quiet thank you then running quietly up the stairs to Ron's room.
As Harry began to climb in bed Ron sat up. "I was wondering if you were ever coming in," said Ron.
"Oh, well…," replied Harry searching for a response, but he was cut off by Ron.
"It's okay," said Ron. "Did you and Ginny have a nice time?" Ron was trying not to laugh at the frightened expression on Harry's face. "Don't worry," said Ron, "Do you know how upset Ginny gets if I show even a sign of being over-protective, especially after the Chamber of Secrets. I can't really help it, we aren't even a full year apart though, about 11 months. We're closer, being the 2 youngest and all. I figure you'll be good for her though. At least I don't have to worry as much because you know what will happen to you if you EVER hurt her in any way" Harry was very shocked after hearing all this from Ron. After all, Ron was the last person he'd expected to deliver such a long speech or be so accepting of the idea of Harry and Ginny as a couple. But Harry hadn't even considered that. At least not yet.
"W-What?" Harry tried to ask in protest, "I-- we aren't—we."
"We can talk about this later," Ron told him, cutting him off. He was still trying to hold in his laughter over Harry's reaction. He climbed into bed and went to sleep, ignoring Harry's protest and incoherent mutterings. Harry gave up and laid down on the bed pondering what Ron had just said to him. He'd never thought of her that way but. 'Friends first,' he told himself firmly before drifting off into his usual restless sleep, wishing dearly that he had a potion to ward off his dreams. He knew the nightmares would come eventually.