Lyrics:  Why Can't I? by Liz Phair

Get a load of me, get a load of you

Walkin' down the street, and I hardly know you

It's just like we were meant to be

Jaina silently as she looked out the canopy of her X-Wing to see Jag Fel's clawcraft whipping by overhead.  She'd liked him, sure...but she couldn't figure out what the kriff that meant in relation to anything else- the Goddess ruse, her career, her parents...well, more specifically what her father would do to Jag if he ever figured it out that she wasn't just keeping him around as part of her ruse.  The fact that he'd walked in on them after their fight had been bad enough.  The fact that he was beginning to follow her around, or employ C3P0 to do it, didn't help the matter.  And if either of them ever got any hint of information...  With a sigh, Jaina calmly admitted to herself that her future was going to be very bleak.  There was no way in any of the nine Corellian hells that her father, the infamously blaster-happy Han Solo, would welcome a possible extension of his family to the son of and Imperial Baron.  Not to mention a Corellian one.

Holding hands with you when we're out at night

Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right

And I've got someone waiting too

The thoughts lingered around in her mind for the rest of the day and even kept her up that night.  There was no getting around it: this relationship, wonderful as it was, wouldn't be able to go anywhere.  But even with the thought of what she had to do firmly implanted in her mind, Jaina couldn't help shaking the feeling of perfect bliss whenever she was around him.  Everything that was wrong just seemed to evaporate into meaningless whims and wisps of worry when she was talking to him.  There was just something about Jag Fel, whether or not other noticed it, that was just...  She couldn't even find words to finish her thought.  But she knew what it was deep down.  Because it was a feeling, not a word.

What if this is just the beginning

We're already wet, and we're gonna go swimming

Jaina walked out of her quarters the next day feeling lower than she'd thought possible given her current situation.  In truth, her situation was quite good.  She had her twin, she had her family, she had a great friend and she even had a friend who was something more.  Unfortunately, that last person might hate her after what she had to do.  Maybe it was Piggy and Sharr forcing her into this, maybe not.  They'd brought immediate attention to the fact that they frowned on the fact that Jaina was 'seeing' Jagged Fel.  It would ruin the ruse, they had said more than once.  Only the people who seemed to remember that she needed to have something to pull her back to reality when it all became too much, when the pressure got too high, supported her.  But that didn't mean that the Wraiths didn't have a point.

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you

It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it

So tell me

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

Jaina was standing, shuffling from foot to foot, in front of Jag's clawcraft, listening to him calmly fix whatever the current problem was.  Unfortunately, they'd probably both be having a big problem sooner than that...emotionally at least.  Well, it wasn't really fair to go into that.  She couldn't speak for him.  Even as she called the words to mind, she knew she couldn't do this.  Screw the Goddess ruse.  Screw listening to Piggy and Sharr.  Screw the Force-forsaken Yuuzhan Vong.  Screw 'em all to each of the Corellian hells and back, then ship them to Kessel for a good long term in the mines under chains.  There was no way she could give up having Jag as more than a squadmate.  No matter how many angles she tried to put to it, she still would love him, still would feel the same way.  And that feeling didn't even tarnish with the thought of her father grabbing a blaster to aim at Jag's head.

Isn't this the best part of breakin' up
Finding someone else you can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too

Instead of saying anything about what her thoughts had been, where they had been leading her, Jaina instead kicked the sole of Jag's boot.

"Hey flyboy," she called down to him.

The sounds of metal closing upon metal hit the air, then Jag was pushing himself out from underneath the craft.  His hands were dirty from his work and, upon seeing Jaina, he wiped them on his black flightsuit.

"Yeah?"

High enough for you to make me wonder
Where it's goin'
High enough for you to pull me under
Somethin's growin'
out of this that we can control
Baby I am dyin'

"That insane family of mine wanted us for dinner tonight.  More specifically, Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara."

Jag looked slightly surprised at the revelation, something Jaina readily noticed in the split-second it was in his eyes, then nodded.  His hands now clean, he stopped dirtying his flightsuit.

"I see," he countered.

Jaina nodded.  "I'm sure you do, flyboy, I'm sure you do.  Anyway, Colonel Fel, nineteen hundred hours is dinner."  With that, Jaina handed him a datapad and then turned tail towards the docking bay exit.  She knew he'd be pulling an emotionless face, even if she herself would've been grinning at the message pressed before her on the datapad; 'Falcon in ten'.

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you