Chapter 29: Cemeteries and Merry Christmas
~*~
I can't fight this feeling any longer
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow
What started out as friendship has grown stronger
I only wish I had the strength to let it show
I tell myself that I can't hold out forever
I say there is no reason for my fear
Cause I feel so secure when we're together
You give my life direction, you make everything so clear
And even as I wander I'm keeping you sight
You're a candle in the window on a cold, dark winter's
Night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might
[REO Speedwagon]
~*~
Harry did not hear much from his friends over the next few days except for a short owl from Ron and Hermione. Ginny hadn't written at all yet, except for saying hi in the postscript of Ron and Hermione's letter. He had been spending much of his time feeling glum about his situation with her and wondering what to do.
Fortunately he had other things on his mind today. Or perhaps it might fit better to say unfortunately. Today he had plans for and outing with Sirius. The prospect wasn't as encouraging as a fun outing would be though because today Harry would be visiting his parents' graves for the first time. He had been thinking about asking Sirius when the man had miraculously offered. So there they were on the Knight Bus, heading towards the cemetery. As they stepped off the bus in front of the neatly kempt cemetery Harry bundled his scarf tight about him and looked around. Ivy laced walls circled precisely kept gardens and the scent of jasmine hung in the air. He often wondered why people went through so much trouble to make this kind of place pretty. Did the deceased really care? He supposed it was more for the mourners that it was kept this way. How much easier it was to think of flowers and jasmine and ivy, rather than having to keep your mind on the fact that your loved ones laid there cold and still, forever. Harry shivered and was brought out of his solemn thoughts by a guiding hand on his shoulder. He fought back his old urge to recoil and settled into Sirius grip instead, allowing the man to lead him through the elaborate gates.
"You okay?" asked Sirius.
"Yeah," Harry nodded.
They walked silently down the stone pathway, passing row upon row of stones, some very simple while others were elaborately carved. They continued walking until they turned left onto another path and Harry began to recognize his surname on some of the stones. Sirius pointed out the graves of his grandparents, as well as an uncle or two. Finally they reached the end of this section and Harry felt a peculiar knotting in his stomach as he read the names etched in the last two stones. He also noted the flower etched onto his mother's and the stag on his father's.
'Hi Mum and Dad,' he thought silently. 'I wish you could be here now.' It seemed strange that technically he was visiting his parents over the holidays, the same as the rest of his classmates. Except that it was very different.
Sirius helped him lay some flowers on the graves and he allowed the man to kneel down by the stones himself, let him say goodbye on his own to them. Harry followed his example afterwards and ran his finger across the names on each stone. Somehow it was more real. He couldn't make it fit into his mind though, that his parents were there, right below him. He shivered again and then thought a silent farewell before stepping back. As he stood a snowflake fell on his nose
Eventually Harry allowed Sirius to lead him away from the graves again and he leaned into his godfather, realizing that he was comforting him as well. Soon they were in a back corner of the Leaky Cauldron, watching the snow fall outside. Harry was surprised when he was able to eat all of his food ravenously. There was not much conversation but it was a comfortable silence. When there were only a few crumbs left on each plate Sirius paid their bill before he and Harry borrowed some powder to floo home.
~*~
Later that night Harry found himself sitting with Sirius in front of the fireplace, a million thoughts running through his head. He contemplated asking Sirius for advice and then had to settle on what subject of the million to ask about. Finally he decided.
"Sirius," he asked tentatively.
"Yes, Harry?" said the man from where he lay half sprawled on the couch.
"Could I... ask your advice?"
Sirius sat up slightly shocked and then prepared himself to handle it. It seemed that Harry was finally beginning to trust him more and even open up. "Sure," said Sirius. "What do you have in mind."
"Well you see," said Harry. "Ginny and I well- she. I don't know what to do and now she's mad at me, but I'm not sure that we would be- well I like her but.."
Sirius grinned. This he could handle. "Slow down Harry and explain from the beginning."
And as the fire burned cozily Harry explained all of it.
"You know," said Sirius when they were finished, "I think you're friends have it right."
Harry looked at him dumbly. "But why should they be in more danger."
"Harry, don't you remember what Dumbledore has said a million times, maybe two million. Voldemort's goal is to strike fear into everyone, if you give up your life, start limiting everything because of him, you let him win."
Harry nodded and finally said, "So you think she really likes me then."
This caused Sirius to burst out laughing and between laughs he managed to agree. "Yes, she does. She's right, you should let her decide."
"Thanks Sirius," said Harry, hugging the man awkwardly. "Anyway, I'm going to bed now."
"Goodnight, Harry."
~*~
Two days later it was Christmas morning and Harry was being shaken awake. He awoke to find Sirius grinning gleefully like a small child.
Harry mumbled something that vaguely resembled "I wanna go back to sleep." His wish was not granted though and Sirius had soon forced him out of bed. He grumbled as he was led down the steps in pajamas. He felt more tired when he saw that Remus Lupin was there as well, sitting cheerfully at the kitchen table.
"Goodmorning, Harry," said Lupin.
Harry's mumbled response was a bit clearer than his first one that morning and could be clearly identified as a "G'morning."
Soon he was given a piece of toast and then led into the living room where he nearly fell over with shock. He saw the tree he and Sirius had decorated the night before, only under it now were presents. Not quite as many as Dudley had every year, but the pile was extremely vast in his eyes.
"Merry Christmas," said Sirius.
Harry looked at him oddly.
"Well don't you want to open your gifts?"
"Mine?" questioned Harry oddly. How strange it was.
"Of course," said Sirius. "What did you expect. Now come on and open them."
Sirius was getting that gleeful look again so Harry acquiesced. He had to admit it was quite fun. Half an hour later after all the gifts had been exchanged Harry had to cart some of his things to his room and was then ordered to get ready to go to the Weasleys.
"Quickly Harry," said Sirius, "The rest of us are all showered and ready."
Sirius and Remus stifled laughs as Harry shuffled down the hall muttering something that sounded like "Bloody Morning People."
~*~
Twenty minutes later Harry was dressed and in a better mood and thanked Sirius once more for all the gifts, while admonishing him for buying too many. Remus chuckled merrily at the two of them and then each helped themselves to some floo powder.
"THE BURROW!" commanded Harry, making sure to annunciate very clearly. He didn't want to visit a strange place like Knockturn Alley on Christmas morning. The green flames licked his toes and then he found himself tumbling out of the grate at the Weasleys' While Harry was being helped up from the floor by a mass of redheads, Sirius and Remus emerged in turn, both stepping out gracefully. He made sure to glare at both of them from the floor.
When the commotion was quieted down everyone was seated around the large table and Mrs. Weasley was dishing out food to everyone, commanding that they all 'eat a decent amount.' When everyone was stuffed they headed into the living room where the tree was set up and everyone scrambled for a seat. Harry sat next to Hermione and Ron on the floor in front of the Grangers and noted that Ginny was right across the room for him. She glanced his way a few times but didn't say much to him other than the quick 'Merry Christmas' he'd received on his arrival. He needed to talk to her later.
Mrs. Weasley proclaimed that it was Ron's turn to hand out gifts this year.
"Skips us now," said George.
"It would be our turn this year," said Fred.
"Only she's afraid we'll turn the gifts into canaries or something."
"Peacocks," interrupted Mrs. Weasley. "That's what it was last time and don't think I don't know you'd try something again."
"Alas," sighed George, "She knows us far too well."
Harry grinned and turned his eyes back to Ron who had begun passing out the packages, well just one eye. He had a feeling that Fred and George would probably have some sort of holiday surprise, even if they weren't handing out gifts.
Everyone was thanking each other for the lovely gifts when Harry heard a loud pop. He tried to stifle his laughter but soon settled for just trying not to roll on the floor. 'Poor Ron,' he thought in between laughs.
Standing before them was no longer Ronald Weasley, but a rather large, slightly irritated looking peacock.
"Well Mum," said George with a grin, "We knew you wouldn't let us tamper with the gifts.."
"So we upgraded a bit," finished Fred.
At least on this occasion the twins' jokes proved to be of great use. Amidst all that laughter, and the shouting from Mrs.Weasley as she demanded they "TURN YOUR BROTHER BACK RIGHT THIS INSTANCE.." Harry manage to pull Ginny away from the group and into the kitchen.
She looked at him from where she sat at the table with her arms crossed.
"Ginny," said Harry, "I was thinking about what you said and..."
"And?" prompted Ginny, nodding her head.
"Well, you were right I guess," he said, "But it's still hard for me to accept that you could be in danger, It's your choice though. So if you still want, well y'know." He felt like an idiot now, babbling.
"Of course," exclaimed Ginny, "Did you really think I'd change my mind that quickly?!"
"Yeah," said Harry, running his hand through his hair nervously, "I guess not."
"Oh Harry," she said with a sigh. Then she grinned and hugged him.
A few minutes later they began to head back into the other room, before anyone came looking for them.
"Ginny Weasley," he said and she turned around.
"What?" she inquired curiously.
"You're amazing."
And under a sprig of mistletoe the new couple shared their second kiss.