Goodbyes: Tomoe Hotaru
Disclaimer: Sailormoon is not mine.
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)
Rating: PG13
The princess is gone. I felt her leave this world. I felt her pain and agony the blast inflicted, and then felt her peace as she left. Tears cloud my eyes. Some are tears of happiness, and some of pain and loneliness. It's hard to feel so many contradicting emotions. Knowing that the princess is truly gone, I feel the loneliness and despair of not being with her. But feeling her peace and happiness lets me know that this death is welcome. Her only darkness is her pain and loneliness for her friends and Endymion.
Meeting her as Usagi-chan, I saw a very open and optimistic girl, and I wished I could be like her. I was sick and weak, and because of my blackouts, I was alone. She and Chibi-Usa-chan were never scared or frightened of me. They cared for me but never pitied me. I have never felt as important as I did when I was with them, with her.
As Sailor Moon, she never once gave up on me. She believed in me when Mistress 9 took over my body. She believed me when I cried out to her. She believed in me enough to give me the Chalice when she knew that she might lose everything. She couldn't let me die. And for that I was thankful. I learned then that she was worthy of protection and of protecting this world. That she never gave up when all hope seemed lost inspired me. That she trusted someone who could very well lead to the destruction of the world. Even knowing that as Saturn I would destroy the world upon awakening, she wouldn't let the Outers kill me. That faith gave me hope. I knew then that she was the Messiah of Light. Our princess.
The princess is why we fought, why we lived, why we existed. She is why we endured the loneliness of our duty. To make sure she was happy and able to protect the universe should the need arise.
I regret not telling her why I fought. I regret not telling her how much I need her. I regret not telling her I love her.
"Usagi-chan, I know that you are happier where you are now. I can feel it. Yet, I still cannot help but wish you were here. Here to take away the pain and loneliness. But I guess I shouldn't feel too bad. I'm the only one of the Senshi that can feel the peace surrounding you. I cannot feel our bond anymore and that rips at my soul. Yet I feel the peace you feel." I sob quietly letting myself grieve for such a good friend.
"Usagi-chan, I'm sorry I cannot help the others deal with your death. I'm sorry I cannot help the King. I'm sorry for so many things now. I'm sorry I never told you 'thank you' for saving me. I'm sorry I never told you how much you mean to me. I'm sorry I never told you I love you. I wish, just once, I could say those words to you. To know that you know how I feel. I'm sorry for my weakness. I'm sorry I never told you."
"You told me, Hotaru-chan, just now." Looking up, I start to smile. That is our Queen for you. Even beyond the grave, she looks out for us. Smiling through my tears, I let myself miss her, but knowing that death never separates any of us eases my pain. I let myself feel. Feel my love for her.
~~~
AN: This one is not so great... *sigh* Okay, it's the worst one out of them all. It's AWFUL!
Lovies!
Disclaimer: Sailormoon is not mine.
By: Selenity Jade (Jadesama@aol.com)
Rating: PG13
The princess is gone. I felt her leave this world. I felt her pain and agony the blast inflicted, and then felt her peace as she left. Tears cloud my eyes. Some are tears of happiness, and some of pain and loneliness. It's hard to feel so many contradicting emotions. Knowing that the princess is truly gone, I feel the loneliness and despair of not being with her. But feeling her peace and happiness lets me know that this death is welcome. Her only darkness is her pain and loneliness for her friends and Endymion.
Meeting her as Usagi-chan, I saw a very open and optimistic girl, and I wished I could be like her. I was sick and weak, and because of my blackouts, I was alone. She and Chibi-Usa-chan were never scared or frightened of me. They cared for me but never pitied me. I have never felt as important as I did when I was with them, with her.
As Sailor Moon, she never once gave up on me. She believed in me when Mistress 9 took over my body. She believed me when I cried out to her. She believed in me enough to give me the Chalice when she knew that she might lose everything. She couldn't let me die. And for that I was thankful. I learned then that she was worthy of protection and of protecting this world. That she never gave up when all hope seemed lost inspired me. That she trusted someone who could very well lead to the destruction of the world. Even knowing that as Saturn I would destroy the world upon awakening, she wouldn't let the Outers kill me. That faith gave me hope. I knew then that she was the Messiah of Light. Our princess.
The princess is why we fought, why we lived, why we existed. She is why we endured the loneliness of our duty. To make sure she was happy and able to protect the universe should the need arise.
I regret not telling her why I fought. I regret not telling her how much I need her. I regret not telling her I love her.
"Usagi-chan, I know that you are happier where you are now. I can feel it. Yet, I still cannot help but wish you were here. Here to take away the pain and loneliness. But I guess I shouldn't feel too bad. I'm the only one of the Senshi that can feel the peace surrounding you. I cannot feel our bond anymore and that rips at my soul. Yet I feel the peace you feel." I sob quietly letting myself grieve for such a good friend.
"Usagi-chan, I'm sorry I cannot help the others deal with your death. I'm sorry I cannot help the King. I'm sorry for so many things now. I'm sorry I never told you 'thank you' for saving me. I'm sorry I never told you how much you mean to me. I'm sorry I never told you I love you. I wish, just once, I could say those words to you. To know that you know how I feel. I'm sorry for my weakness. I'm sorry I never told you."
"You told me, Hotaru-chan, just now." Looking up, I start to smile. That is our Queen for you. Even beyond the grave, she looks out for us. Smiling through my tears, I let myself miss her, but knowing that death never separates any of us eases my pain. I let myself feel. Feel my love for her.
~~~
AN: This one is not so great... *sigh* Okay, it's the worst one out of them all. It's AWFUL!
Lovies!