Hey everyone! I'm sorry it took a while for this chapter. I've been busy with my senior project. Yucky! Hopefully now that I'm done with it, I'll get back into writing mode! I hope you enjoy it and please review!
If you can't wait for me to get the next chapter up, you can read my other CCS fics. They are older, but still something to read while in waiting.
Lately Sakura has been keeping her mind off Eriol and Syaoran. It's not easy, but now impossible. It helps that she goes places with Tomoyo and is currently studying for her finals. Of course she still sometimes allows her mind to wander and have either guy come across her thoughts, but it's not that often.
After Tomoyo found out about her boyfriend, they have gotten a lot closer. It's mostly because the subject is common ground, especially with Tomoyo. Every once in a while she asks to see Sakura's boyfriend, but then drops the subject once she talks about her many crushes.
Sakura wants to tell her about Eriol, but she's weary about it. For one, she's not even sure if they're dating due to no communication between them for some time. Also the idea of her seeing him may make Tomoyo angry, since he was her first serious boyfriend. She hated that she had to keep it a secret, but then she sneaked asylum in secrecy, since she didn't want anyone to know. However she hated the fact that Syaoran knew even more.
"Sakura," Tomoyo said, tugging on her own hair. "What do you think about me having a make over? Maybe a new hairstyle?" They were sitting in an ice cream parlor. It had just opened, which meant it was swarming with people.
She looked at Tomoyo in confusion. "You're not the one who needs a make over. I need one more than you."
Tomoyo laughed and slapped her back, not too hard. "Shut up. You're beautiful, Sakura. Don't you see the way guys look at you? I mean, God, I can't talk to Syaoran without him bringing up yo…Yugi-oh," she said, and quickly put on an awkward smile.
Sakura narrowed her eyes at her. "What? That has nothing to do with boys looking at me or really guys in general."
She shrugged and then sipped her float. "I thought you might be interested that he liked…Yugi-oh."
"Tomoyo, sometimes you're just so weird, but that's what I like about you."
She grinned slyly and winked. "All I have to say is that there is a reason for my madness." She laughed like a mad scientist and then quickly shifted her eyes past Sakura's head, focusing on something.
Before Sakura got another word in, Tomoyo was already standing up from the booth. "Where are you going?"
"Well, for us single people," she started, stressing the word single, "we have to go out there at fight for love." She tilted her head to the side and sighed. "I'm going to try to get one of those guys by the counter. Wish me luck."
Sakura stuck up her thumbs. "Good luck."
She nodded, and quickly went over to the group of guys. Once she got over there, they seemed to enjoy her presence by the way they were looking at her.
As soon as she left, Sakura sighed and rested her head on the glass window. She couldn't help to wonder about what Tomoyo said to her about Syaoran. In the back of her mind, she had the idea that she wanted to say "you" rather than "Yugi-oh." Maybe he bring her up when talking to Tomoyo, but what about? Is it good or bad? Even though she shouldn't worry about it, she couldn't help not to. No matter what it's about, it sill means that in some way he cares for her.
The thought of him still caring for her was unbelievable. How could anyone, especially a guy, still care for a person who has showed no ounce of affection? He must be a special guy to care that much for him to still think about her.
Wait. What am I thinking? I shouldn't be flattering myself. I mean, Syaoran isn't the type of guy to be in a commitment, right? He can not stay true anyone, not even to himself. Yet, why does a cloud of doubt shadow these thoughts? I'm not so sure about my assumptions. He could truly be the type that wants to be in a relationship with the right person, which explains his quest from girl to girl. Could I be that girl? Or am I just another adventure?
Sakura's thoughts battled in her head. She had a hard time of choosing which side. Somewhere deep inside, she wanted to believe that he still liked her, because a part of her liked him. It may not be a whole lot, but it's enough for her to give him a chance. She could never tell him that, though. It's not something that comes up in conversation. It needs the right moment in order to mean something important.
While sitting there, she began to watch people as they came into the parlor. As she did, a familiar guy came through the door. He took off his baseball cap, revealing his face. That was when she knew who it was.
Eriol.
He didn't see Sakura, since she was nervously hiding behind a menu. She didn't want him to see her. She had nothing to say to him nor did she want to give reasons for why she didn't talk to him in a long time. Plus, she had no good excuses.
Fortunately, he did not see her, instead he saw someone else. Tomoyo. He walked up to her, smiling, and tapped her shoulder. She turned around and grinned as soon as she seen his face. They looked exceptionally thrilled to see each other. And it made Sakura jealous. Very jealous. She did not care that technically they weren't boyfriend and girlfriend, but they are still dating, at least were.
It was something like out of a dorama. She liked Eriol, but obviously Tomoyo still carries a torch for him. She didn't know what to do or think. There's the first guy to actually treat her more like a person than an object, and her best friend is taking him away. However, she can't be that mad, due to the fact she kept him a secret. If Tomoyo knew he was the guy Sakura was dating, she wouldn't be flirting with him like she is now.
Or would she?
Sakura knew she couldn't let him see her, so she slithered from the booth and got on her knees. She quickly crawled to the door, by hiding behind a divider that kept her from being seen. It was a clear getaway once she was out the door. People were looking at her strangely, but she didn't care. The only thing she cared about was being unseen by Eriol.
Outside the parlor, she glanced in the window. She hated what she was seeing. There he was, being fawned all over by Tomoyo. The site made her want to scream at the top of her lungs, but no one would listen. She held it all back, even the urge to rip her own hair out for not telling her best friend who her boyfriend is. Nothing on earth could give her more pain than what she is feeling now. It tore her heart apart. She felt horrible and so mad at herself.
Sakura, you really are a moron, she told herself while watching Eriol and Tomoyo flirting. You had something great in the palm of your hands, and now Tomoyo is eating from them. How could I let myself mess up like this? I allowed people to step all over me, and here's the outcome. Damn it!
She sighed and began to walk to her apartment. On the way their, she couldn't help to yell at herself. She knew she could have gone back into the parlor and tell Tomoyo about Eriol, but then, he didn't seem to mind flirting with her. He looked as if he enjoyed it and wanted her to continue. It made Sakura think that maybe he didn't really want to be with her, but with her friend. It was typical of a guy, almost expected. Yet she didn't want it to happen to her.
It was weird, though. She didn't feel all that sad. Of course she was upset, but not to the point of tears. She was more mad than anything, especially with herself. The idea of Tomoyo moving on a guy that she liked made her veins boil, since it's a reoccurring thing. However, if the guy was someone else, Sakura would be more upset if Tomoyo moved in on him, than she does now. It made her laugh, since she actually believed that she cared for Eriol.
She got to the apartment building and went inside. As she went up the stairs, she noticed a person sitting in the stairwell. Once she got closer, she saw that it was Syaoran. She stopped in her tracks and stared at him. Words could not come out of her mouth, she became mute.
Syaoran looked up at her. His eyes were emotionless. He stood up and walked closer to her. "Hey, Sakura."
She nodded. "Hi." Her eyes looked him over, wondering what he wanted.
"I left my favorite baseball hat here, and I came to get it," he explained, putting his hands in his pockets. "did you see it?"
"No," she replied, and walked over to her door. She unlocked it and went inside. "You can look for it if you want."
He followed her inside and began to search the couch. He lifted up the cushions and then looked under the couch. After a few minutes, he found it crumbled up underneath a pile of magazines. He fixed it and put it on.
"Thanks," he said, and started to walk toward the door.
Should she say something? Should she stop him? She didn't know, but she knew she had to do something or at least bring up what happened between them. "Syaoran. I'm so…"
He turned around to face her and shook his head. "No need for apologies, Sakura," he said, and smiled in assurance. "I'm a big boy, I can take rejection well. Anyway, you won't have to worry about me, since I'm going to Hong Kong for next semester."
She gaped, not believing what she just heard. "Hong Kong?" she repeated, trying not to let herself attack him with jumbled words. "Why? What's in Hong Kong?"
"My family is there, and they want me to go to the college by them," he said, and shrugged. "It's not a big deal. You won't even know I'm gone."
Her heart shattered right there. His words cut deep like a dagger aiming for her back. At that moment, she realized how much he meant to her. How much wanted to be with him. How much she may… love him. She wanted to tell him, but her emotions were choking her. So many words wanted to fly out of her mouth, but they would come out wrong. She wanted to tell him to stay and not to leave. Nevertheless, she just stood there in shock, letting him stay set in his decision.
Tears ready to fall, heart bursting, and pain rushing around her body. She wanted to die in that spot.
"Well, I'm going to go," he said. "I'll talk to you before I leave." He took one last long look at her and then left.
She couldn't take it anymore. Her body was on the verge of exploding. She ran into her room and slammed the door, keeping everything she was feeling inside. She collapsed on her bed.
Tears streamed down her face and her heart felt as if it would never be mended. Her world was crumbling around her and she was unable to stop it from doing so. Not even a band-aid could fix it.
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To Be Continued…
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