I'm back!!
To my lovely reviewers:
Rhiannon: Ok, ok, I forgive you! Lol. It's ok, I've only read them twice or something but ssh! Don't tell.
LanceSkoggle: Ooh, Sauron/Morgoth.that's a new one.lol.
StarlightWarrior: Thank you, thank you. And don't worry.you don't have to describe it.lol
Happy molecule: Thank you very much. I don't think anyone's voted for that yet.interesting.
Paladin Dragoon: (to all 3 of you) Well, here I am.updating within 48 hours or whatever!
Anyway, on to Sauron and Voldemort!
***@@@WARNING: THIS CHAPTER MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THE 5 HP BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@@@****
THIS FIRST LETTER IS FROM A CLUB THAT SAURON RECENTLY JOINED
Dear Mr. Sauron,
Thank you for joining Dark Lords United (DLU). Because the members are scattered throughout the literary worlds, we have selected a pen pal for you so you might get to know the other members better. His address is enclosed below.
Thank you,
The Authority, c/o the Regent, President*
Your new DLU pen pal:
Lord Voldemort (formerly Mr. Tom Marvolo Riddle) The Magical World of Harry Potter Creator: Ms. JK Rowling To be sent via owl
Dear Lord Voldemort,
I am Sauron, the dark force currently undertaking the taking over of Middle Earth. I am presently in the shape of an eyeball surrounded by flame..but I am having my servants get my ring, the One Ring back so I can regain my old body. I must go, my wizard is contacting me via the Palantir. Sniveling fool, created 10,000 soldiers and they couldn't beat a bunch of humans (and a few elves)! Pitiful.
Sauron, the Great One-of-a-kind Tremendously Huge and Evil Eyeball, and owner, creator, and master of the One Ring (not to mention the most feared force in Middle Earth)
Dear Sauron,
A flaming eyeball? Dear, dear, I feel your pain perfectly. I myself used to be in the same position.except that I had no real form. But please don't tell me that you are just depending on this...ring. Tut, tut, that won't do at ALL! I've got faithful Death Eaters, luckily, to carry out my tasks, but there's this annoying kid.phgph. Pathetic little thing, he is. Must go, have to rush off to the Ministry of Magic.the boy is there.with my prophecy!
Voldemort, aka Tom Marvolo Riddle and snakey-boy, half blood, & most feared person in Harry Potter's Magical World
Dear Voldemort,
You have annoying kids plaguing you too? Wow, we have like, so much in common! The kid that's annoying ME (he's actually a hobbit, but like, whatever) is short, skinny, with curly black hair. And, of course, his stupid gay hobbit friend Sam AND Gollum (Smeagol). Stupid hobbits. Can't mind their own business for one second.
Sauron, the Great One-of-a-kind Tremendously Huge and Evil Eyeball, and owner, creator, and master of the One Ring (not to mention the most feared force in Middle Earth)
Dear Sauron,
Well, the kid that's annoying ME is a stupid wizard boy with black hair, green eyes, and a really ugly lightning scar that I gave him. On purpose, of course. Would've killed him then, but I like a challenge. But now that stupid boy's foiled me AGAIN.smashed the damn prophecy, but luckily my faithful lovely spectacular and all around cool Death Eaters managed to finish his godfather off. That reminds me, that movie's on TV! Gotta go!
Voldemort, aka Tom Marvolo Riddle and snakey-boy, half blood, & most feared person in Harry Potter's Magical World
Dear Voldemort,
What is it with these black-haired kids? Stupid writers, can't they choose a different color? By the way.what are Death Eaters? I eat death, of course. Just had some for brekky the other day. Are they like my Uruk-hai?
Sauron, the Great One-of-a-kind Tremendously Huge and Evil Eyeball, and owner, creator, and master of the One Ring (not to mention the most feared force in Middle Earth)
Dear Sauron,
Death Eaters are my followers. I don't know why they're called Death Eaters, but they are. I'm the only one who really eats death..had death pie last night. Delicious! I'll send over the recipe if you want. What are Uruk- hai?
Voldemort, aka Tom Marvolo Riddle and snakey-boy, half blood, & most feared person in Harry Potter's Magical World
Dear Voldemort,
I would LOVE the recipe! Like, thanks dude! Uruk-hai are Orcs and goblins cross-bred, and Orcs are elves that have been tortured so much that they turn into beautiful beings that can't stand the sunlight.
Sauron, the Great One-of-a-kind Tremendously Huge and Evil Eyeball, and owner, creator, and master of the One Ring (not to mention the most feared force in Middle Earth)
Dear Sauron,
Here's the recipe. Also, I hate elves. Damn annoying they are, but rather useful as well.
Voldemort, aka Tom Marvolo Riddle and snakey-boy, half blood, & most feared person in Harry Potter's Magical World
DEATH PIE
Ingredients:
Couple deaths of good people
Terror
Genius
Chocolate
Weapons
That 'L' thing you use to get into people's minds
Sugar
Jinxes/hexes
Curses
Flour
Cream
Salt
Crackers
Instructions:
Go kill, jinx, hex, and curse a couple people. Add to metal mixing bowl. Go steal someone's most embarrassing secret from their mind. Beat into bowl (hit hard, most people don't want their secrets known). Put all of the normal ingredients into another bowl and stir well. (except the crackers) Pour both bowls into cupcake molds. Bake at 6OOºF. When done, eat right away. Put crackers away; who puts crackers in pie anyhow?
After this, Sauron was too busy instructing all of his Orcs and Uruk-hai, etc to make 'Death Pie', and Voldemort was a bit tied up because of 'that damn Harry Potter!'
Right...VOTE! (or suggest..but please.if you're voting again for the same pairs.please write it, because it's a bit of a bother to go around looking through all the review pages for your votes. You can copy/paste if you don't want to type them!!!)
Sauron/Morgoth
Haldir/Legolas
Gollum/Dobby
Gandalf/Balrog
Arwen/Glorfindel
Glorfindel/Tom B/Goldberry
Faramir/PJ
Sam/Bill the Pony
Faramir/Aragorn
Glorfindel/Gimli
Sauron/One Ring
Pippin/Sam
Merry/Frodo
Sam/Frodo
Merry/Sam
Pippin/Frodo
Glorfindel/Gandalf
Sauron/Ringwraiths
Frodo/Gollum
Faramir/Boromir/Denethor
*HDM fans should recognize this.
Thank ya!
Incurelf.
Rhiannon: Ok, ok, I forgive you! Lol. It's ok, I've only read them twice or something but ssh! Don't tell.
LanceSkoggle: Ooh, Sauron/Morgoth.that's a new one.lol.
StarlightWarrior: Thank you, thank you. And don't worry.you don't have to describe it.lol
Happy molecule: Thank you very much. I don't think anyone's voted for that yet.interesting.
Paladin Dragoon: (to all 3 of you) Well, here I am.updating within 48 hours or whatever!
Anyway, on to Sauron and Voldemort!
***@@@WARNING: THIS CHAPTER MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THE 5 HP BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@@@****
THIS FIRST LETTER IS FROM A CLUB THAT SAURON RECENTLY JOINED
Dear Mr. Sauron,
Thank you for joining Dark Lords United (DLU). Because the members are scattered throughout the literary worlds, we have selected a pen pal for you so you might get to know the other members better. His address is enclosed below.
Thank you,
The Authority, c/o the Regent, President*
Your new DLU pen pal:
Lord Voldemort (formerly Mr. Tom Marvolo Riddle) The Magical World of Harry Potter Creator: Ms. JK Rowling To be sent via owl
Dear Lord Voldemort,
I am Sauron, the dark force currently undertaking the taking over of Middle Earth. I am presently in the shape of an eyeball surrounded by flame..but I am having my servants get my ring, the One Ring back so I can regain my old body. I must go, my wizard is contacting me via the Palantir. Sniveling fool, created 10,000 soldiers and they couldn't beat a bunch of humans (and a few elves)! Pitiful.
Sauron, the Great One-of-a-kind Tremendously Huge and Evil Eyeball, and owner, creator, and master of the One Ring (not to mention the most feared force in Middle Earth)
Dear Sauron,
A flaming eyeball? Dear, dear, I feel your pain perfectly. I myself used to be in the same position.except that I had no real form. But please don't tell me that you are just depending on this...ring. Tut, tut, that won't do at ALL! I've got faithful Death Eaters, luckily, to carry out my tasks, but there's this annoying kid.phgph. Pathetic little thing, he is. Must go, have to rush off to the Ministry of Magic.the boy is there.with my prophecy!
Voldemort, aka Tom Marvolo Riddle and snakey-boy, half blood, & most feared person in Harry Potter's Magical World
Dear Voldemort,
You have annoying kids plaguing you too? Wow, we have like, so much in common! The kid that's annoying ME (he's actually a hobbit, but like, whatever) is short, skinny, with curly black hair. And, of course, his stupid gay hobbit friend Sam AND Gollum (Smeagol). Stupid hobbits. Can't mind their own business for one second.
Sauron, the Great One-of-a-kind Tremendously Huge and Evil Eyeball, and owner, creator, and master of the One Ring (not to mention the most feared force in Middle Earth)
Dear Sauron,
Well, the kid that's annoying ME is a stupid wizard boy with black hair, green eyes, and a really ugly lightning scar that I gave him. On purpose, of course. Would've killed him then, but I like a challenge. But now that stupid boy's foiled me AGAIN.smashed the damn prophecy, but luckily my faithful lovely spectacular and all around cool Death Eaters managed to finish his godfather off. That reminds me, that movie's on TV! Gotta go!
Voldemort, aka Tom Marvolo Riddle and snakey-boy, half blood, & most feared person in Harry Potter's Magical World
Dear Voldemort,
What is it with these black-haired kids? Stupid writers, can't they choose a different color? By the way.what are Death Eaters? I eat death, of course. Just had some for brekky the other day. Are they like my Uruk-hai?
Sauron, the Great One-of-a-kind Tremendously Huge and Evil Eyeball, and owner, creator, and master of the One Ring (not to mention the most feared force in Middle Earth)
Dear Sauron,
Death Eaters are my followers. I don't know why they're called Death Eaters, but they are. I'm the only one who really eats death..had death pie last night. Delicious! I'll send over the recipe if you want. What are Uruk- hai?
Voldemort, aka Tom Marvolo Riddle and snakey-boy, half blood, & most feared person in Harry Potter's Magical World
Dear Voldemort,
I would LOVE the recipe! Like, thanks dude! Uruk-hai are Orcs and goblins cross-bred, and Orcs are elves that have been tortured so much that they turn into beautiful beings that can't stand the sunlight.
Sauron, the Great One-of-a-kind Tremendously Huge and Evil Eyeball, and owner, creator, and master of the One Ring (not to mention the most feared force in Middle Earth)
Dear Sauron,
Here's the recipe. Also, I hate elves. Damn annoying they are, but rather useful as well.
Voldemort, aka Tom Marvolo Riddle and snakey-boy, half blood, & most feared person in Harry Potter's Magical World
DEATH PIE
Ingredients:
Couple deaths of good people
Terror
Genius
Chocolate
Weapons
That 'L' thing you use to get into people's minds
Sugar
Jinxes/hexes
Curses
Flour
Cream
Salt
Crackers
Instructions:
Go kill, jinx, hex, and curse a couple people. Add to metal mixing bowl. Go steal someone's most embarrassing secret from their mind. Beat into bowl (hit hard, most people don't want their secrets known). Put all of the normal ingredients into another bowl and stir well. (except the crackers) Pour both bowls into cupcake molds. Bake at 6OOºF. When done, eat right away. Put crackers away; who puts crackers in pie anyhow?
After this, Sauron was too busy instructing all of his Orcs and Uruk-hai, etc to make 'Death Pie', and Voldemort was a bit tied up because of 'that damn Harry Potter!'
Right...VOTE! (or suggest..but please.if you're voting again for the same pairs.please write it, because it's a bit of a bother to go around looking through all the review pages for your votes. You can copy/paste if you don't want to type them!!!)
Sauron/Morgoth
Haldir/Legolas
Gollum/Dobby
Gandalf/Balrog
Arwen/Glorfindel
Glorfindel/Tom B/Goldberry
Faramir/PJ
Sam/Bill the Pony
Faramir/Aragorn
Glorfindel/Gimli
Sauron/One Ring
Pippin/Sam
Merry/Frodo
Sam/Frodo
Merry/Sam
Pippin/Frodo
Glorfindel/Gandalf
Sauron/Ringwraiths
Frodo/Gollum
Faramir/Boromir/Denethor
*HDM fans should recognize this.
Thank ya!
Incurelf.