KIWI'S NOTES: I'm going to upload as many chapters of this fic as I have on my computer, right now. So that it's here. I think I'm missing chapters 8 and 10.
YGO is © to Kazuki Takahashi.
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STRESS REMEDY
By Logo
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I can't help but wonder why Ryou can never seem to walk properly in the morning. I also can't help but wonder why he wanders around the house wearing nothing but an oversized green shirt. It's practically screaming an invitation! He is SO lucky I have a sense of control over myself.
Guess who I'm talking to on MSN? Uh-huh, yeah, stalker-girl. Surprised? I think not.
Not much entertainment so far. Nope, she's just repeated most of the stuff she said yesterday. With extra I love yous and aishiterus. I think she's trying to make absolutely sure I get the picture. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate repetitiveness? This is getting boring.
Ryou's in the kitchen, making coffee. Typical.
Ryou's a late riser. It's nearly two in the afternoon. I wonder if I should tell him that Yami and Yugi are supposed to be here in about ten minutes? Nah, I'll just watch his face go red when they get here and he's still half naked.
DAMMIT! He just went to get dressed! What is he, a mind-reader?!
I REALLY want stalker-girl to hurry up and ask me out. That way I can humiliate her and be done with it! I bet you've guessed my plan by now. You must have. If you haven't, well, I don't care. I just want to do it already.
She's taking her time responding. I just drift into another one of my fantasies. Ryou tied up. On a bed of... not rose petals, that's what everyone thinks of. TULIPS! Orange tulips! Blood falling down cuts on his face, tears, begging me to... yes, I'm sadistic, psychotic, AND masochistic. Aren't I just the picture of ideal mental health?
I'm fully enjoying the image in my head, when the doorbell drags me out of it. That has to be the Pharaoh and his Hikari. I am going to kill them. Decapitation sounds good.
"BAKURA! Get the door!" Ryou yells. I groan and do as told. Yep, the Pharaoh and his hikari twerp. Yugi is so short he hardly needs to look down to notice the embarrassing bulge in my rather tight jeans.
"Are you happy to see us or something?" he asks. Yes, I AM going to kill him. The Pharaoh is giggling like mad. His face is slightly reddish.
WHY THE FUCK IS HE GIGGLING?!
Yugi elbows him in the side. "Don't worry, Yami just managed to find a whole two litre bottle of Pepsi Max." Translation: Yami is caffeine-high. Let me tell you something. There are VERY few things that can scare me. A hyper Yami Yugi is one of them.
"Right..." I respond, and let them come in, closing the door behind them.
"Where's Ryou?" Yami asks.
"Upstairs. Getting dressed."
"Ah. Or is he..." He's giggling even harder! Oh Ra... someone has to do something with this guy. I can't take the giggling! Yugi elbows him again.
"Quiet!" he orders. Yugi doesn't normally order people around. Except maybe in bed, but I don't know his sex habits - maybe Yami begs him or something? Maybe YAMI is the sex-obsessed one! Hmm... actually, probably not. Anyway, under THESE circumstances, I don't blame Yugi for being bossy. Guess whose eye is twitching again? Yeeup. Mine.
I think I'll just go back to the computer.
Stalker-girl's upset because apparently I'm not talking to her. She's wailing that I don't love her. It's a very true statement, I'll give her that. But this is an act of stupidity I can not ignore. I tell her that people shouldn't get mad about it when someone goes to answer the door.
What happens next?
I shout "OH MY RA!" really loud, drawing attention from a certain two spiky-haired individuals who are currently making out on the sofa.
"Geez, we were just kissing!" Yugi complains. "It's not like we were..."
"Nonononono!" Yami practically squeals, pouncing onto Yugi and covering his mouth. And yes, this action is followed by even MORE giggling from the Pharaoh. If he wasn't already dead, I'd kill him right now.
"What are you yelling at?" Ryou wants to know, finally getting back downstairs. I really REALLY wish he'd wear something TIGHT for once. What is it with him and comfy-yet-hideous clothing anyway?
I take that back. His dress sense HAS improved somewhat. At least, it's better than it was in the Duelist Kingdom. I think he's had enough with the light colours. He's wearing dark khaki, baggy cargo pants, and a black sweater. Which leaves absolutely EVERYTHING to the imagination. Damn him.
He's staring at me curiously. Yami and Yugi have gone back to making out.
"It doesn't matter," I tell him. His suspicious expression is... put it this way - it does NOT help the bulge in my pants. He doesn't believe me. I wonder why?
"Fine," Ryou shrugs. "Yugi, I need a little help in the kitchen."
"Okay," Yugi responds, breaking away from an annoyed Yami. Yami is glaring evilly at Ryou, as the two hikaris go into the kitchen.
"So what ARE you doing?" Yami inquires, leaning over the back of the sofa to see the computer screen. He scans over the conversation, and his giggles get worse. "Who the hell are you talking to on there?" Seems like I'm not the only one who's amused by this.
"An evil psycho-bitch."
"And what exactly makes her an evil psycho-bitch?" Yami giggles. "Just looks like an idiot to me!"
"Yeah, she's that too," I shrug. "Basically, she's been hitting on loads and loads of artist guys. INCLUDING Ryou and Yugi." Yami is still giggling. I need something I can stuff in his mouth. Desperately.
Yami goes to grab another chair, and sits next to me. Feel sorry for me, all of you. I'm stuck sat next to a hyper, giggling, annoying, idiotic pharaoh. Death can not get much worse than this.
"What are you doing?"
"Watching your conversation. If she screams you don't love her when you put her in the collective 'people', it'll be fun to see her reaction when you say you're gay." I must look pretty confused, because Yami continues. "Well, you must have SOMETHING you're gonna say!" Hmph, so he DOESN'T know I'm gay. For a moment there I was actually going to commend him for noticing.
"I do. I'm waiting for her to ask me out so I can do it."
"Judging from the fact she says she loves you every other line, I'd say that should happen pretty soon." Oh thank Ra. He's not giggling. And guess whose eye is NOT twitching? YAY!
"Let's hope."
"Now honestly Bakura, you show her no affection at all," Yami responded, as the stalker-girl tells me the exact same thing. He bursts out into uncontrollable giggles. That's IT, I'm going to rip out his vocal cords! It wasn't even that FUNNY!
Well, it is EXTREMELY amusing when Yami stops giggling and starts shouting in pain. He's shaking his leg, trying to get the black fuzzball that's now attached to it off. Remind me to give Lucky some PROPER food tonight.
"GET THIS CAT OFF ME!" Yami yells. Hahah, I can see his eyes watering over. I can't help but laugh. Both Ryou and Yugi come running in.
"Yami, hold still!" Ryou tells him, coming over and grabbing Lucky. I feel sorry for the poor cat. I can only IMAGINE what that Pharaoh must have tasted like.
"Your cat is evil!" Yami whimpers. Of course, being from Ancient Egypt, he doesn't go much further than that. Ryou tells him to go into the kitchen. Once again, I am left alone with stalker-girl.
I tell her that she's over-reacting. Fair enough. Next thing she says is what I've been waiting for.
"Will you, um, go out with me?"
Bwahaa! It's about TIME!
"sry Im not a lesbain"
Curse my crap typing skills. Oh well. It's a very true, yet very misleading statement. I have deliberately avoided anything that would say I was a boy or a girl JUST so I could say that.
She SHOULD have thought she'd been flirting with a girl. That's the whole point of me saying it. But oh no, she had to turn things around.
"Why would you need to be? It's not like I'm a girl or anything."
I have no idea how to respond. This... well, stalker-THING, has a seriously screwed up mind. It's already just about confirmed to me that it is female. Now it's indecisive.
I think Ryou's been friends with a person who has a serious identity crisis.
I'm about to respond, when Yami, Yugi and Ryou come back from the kitchen. Yami doesn't even have a mark from where the cat attacked him. Must've used the Millennium Puzzle to heal himself or something... well, he IS a spirit.
"I need to go to get some extra food for the party," I'm told, by Ryou. What party? Oh yeah, the party they arranged last night while I was half-asleep. That little get-together-and-watch-loadsa-movies party. With added food. "You three should be okay staying here. I'll be about an hour at the most."
I'm being left alone with a sex-crazed midget and a caffeine-high pharaoh who wants revenge for me embarrassing him and the cat attacking him?
Why do I NOT like this situation?
END OF PART 3
Should I put in a lemon next chappie? Lemon lemon? Yami/Yugi/Bakura threesome? Hm?
YGO is © to Kazuki Takahashi.
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STRESS REMEDY
By Logo
-------------
I can't help but wonder why Ryou can never seem to walk properly in the morning. I also can't help but wonder why he wanders around the house wearing nothing but an oversized green shirt. It's practically screaming an invitation! He is SO lucky I have a sense of control over myself.
Guess who I'm talking to on MSN? Uh-huh, yeah, stalker-girl. Surprised? I think not.
Not much entertainment so far. Nope, she's just repeated most of the stuff she said yesterday. With extra I love yous and aishiterus. I think she's trying to make absolutely sure I get the picture. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate repetitiveness? This is getting boring.
Ryou's in the kitchen, making coffee. Typical.
Ryou's a late riser. It's nearly two in the afternoon. I wonder if I should tell him that Yami and Yugi are supposed to be here in about ten minutes? Nah, I'll just watch his face go red when they get here and he's still half naked.
DAMMIT! He just went to get dressed! What is he, a mind-reader?!
I REALLY want stalker-girl to hurry up and ask me out. That way I can humiliate her and be done with it! I bet you've guessed my plan by now. You must have. If you haven't, well, I don't care. I just want to do it already.
She's taking her time responding. I just drift into another one of my fantasies. Ryou tied up. On a bed of... not rose petals, that's what everyone thinks of. TULIPS! Orange tulips! Blood falling down cuts on his face, tears, begging me to... yes, I'm sadistic, psychotic, AND masochistic. Aren't I just the picture of ideal mental health?
I'm fully enjoying the image in my head, when the doorbell drags me out of it. That has to be the Pharaoh and his Hikari. I am going to kill them. Decapitation sounds good.
"BAKURA! Get the door!" Ryou yells. I groan and do as told. Yep, the Pharaoh and his hikari twerp. Yugi is so short he hardly needs to look down to notice the embarrassing bulge in my rather tight jeans.
"Are you happy to see us or something?" he asks. Yes, I AM going to kill him. The Pharaoh is giggling like mad. His face is slightly reddish.
WHY THE FUCK IS HE GIGGLING?!
Yugi elbows him in the side. "Don't worry, Yami just managed to find a whole two litre bottle of Pepsi Max." Translation: Yami is caffeine-high. Let me tell you something. There are VERY few things that can scare me. A hyper Yami Yugi is one of them.
"Right..." I respond, and let them come in, closing the door behind them.
"Where's Ryou?" Yami asks.
"Upstairs. Getting dressed."
"Ah. Or is he..." He's giggling even harder! Oh Ra... someone has to do something with this guy. I can't take the giggling! Yugi elbows him again.
"Quiet!" he orders. Yugi doesn't normally order people around. Except maybe in bed, but I don't know his sex habits - maybe Yami begs him or something? Maybe YAMI is the sex-obsessed one! Hmm... actually, probably not. Anyway, under THESE circumstances, I don't blame Yugi for being bossy. Guess whose eye is twitching again? Yeeup. Mine.
I think I'll just go back to the computer.
Stalker-girl's upset because apparently I'm not talking to her. She's wailing that I don't love her. It's a very true statement, I'll give her that. But this is an act of stupidity I can not ignore. I tell her that people shouldn't get mad about it when someone goes to answer the door.
What happens next?
I shout "OH MY RA!" really loud, drawing attention from a certain two spiky-haired individuals who are currently making out on the sofa.
"Geez, we were just kissing!" Yugi complains. "It's not like we were..."
"Nonononono!" Yami practically squeals, pouncing onto Yugi and covering his mouth. And yes, this action is followed by even MORE giggling from the Pharaoh. If he wasn't already dead, I'd kill him right now.
"What are you yelling at?" Ryou wants to know, finally getting back downstairs. I really REALLY wish he'd wear something TIGHT for once. What is it with him and comfy-yet-hideous clothing anyway?
I take that back. His dress sense HAS improved somewhat. At least, it's better than it was in the Duelist Kingdom. I think he's had enough with the light colours. He's wearing dark khaki, baggy cargo pants, and a black sweater. Which leaves absolutely EVERYTHING to the imagination. Damn him.
He's staring at me curiously. Yami and Yugi have gone back to making out.
"It doesn't matter," I tell him. His suspicious expression is... put it this way - it does NOT help the bulge in my pants. He doesn't believe me. I wonder why?
"Fine," Ryou shrugs. "Yugi, I need a little help in the kitchen."
"Okay," Yugi responds, breaking away from an annoyed Yami. Yami is glaring evilly at Ryou, as the two hikaris go into the kitchen.
"So what ARE you doing?" Yami inquires, leaning over the back of the sofa to see the computer screen. He scans over the conversation, and his giggles get worse. "Who the hell are you talking to on there?" Seems like I'm not the only one who's amused by this.
"An evil psycho-bitch."
"And what exactly makes her an evil psycho-bitch?" Yami giggles. "Just looks like an idiot to me!"
"Yeah, she's that too," I shrug. "Basically, she's been hitting on loads and loads of artist guys. INCLUDING Ryou and Yugi." Yami is still giggling. I need something I can stuff in his mouth. Desperately.
Yami goes to grab another chair, and sits next to me. Feel sorry for me, all of you. I'm stuck sat next to a hyper, giggling, annoying, idiotic pharaoh. Death can not get much worse than this.
"What are you doing?"
"Watching your conversation. If she screams you don't love her when you put her in the collective 'people', it'll be fun to see her reaction when you say you're gay." I must look pretty confused, because Yami continues. "Well, you must have SOMETHING you're gonna say!" Hmph, so he DOESN'T know I'm gay. For a moment there I was actually going to commend him for noticing.
"I do. I'm waiting for her to ask me out so I can do it."
"Judging from the fact she says she loves you every other line, I'd say that should happen pretty soon." Oh thank Ra. He's not giggling. And guess whose eye is NOT twitching? YAY!
"Let's hope."
"Now honestly Bakura, you show her no affection at all," Yami responded, as the stalker-girl tells me the exact same thing. He bursts out into uncontrollable giggles. That's IT, I'm going to rip out his vocal cords! It wasn't even that FUNNY!
Well, it is EXTREMELY amusing when Yami stops giggling and starts shouting in pain. He's shaking his leg, trying to get the black fuzzball that's now attached to it off. Remind me to give Lucky some PROPER food tonight.
"GET THIS CAT OFF ME!" Yami yells. Hahah, I can see his eyes watering over. I can't help but laugh. Both Ryou and Yugi come running in.
"Yami, hold still!" Ryou tells him, coming over and grabbing Lucky. I feel sorry for the poor cat. I can only IMAGINE what that Pharaoh must have tasted like.
"Your cat is evil!" Yami whimpers. Of course, being from Ancient Egypt, he doesn't go much further than that. Ryou tells him to go into the kitchen. Once again, I am left alone with stalker-girl.
I tell her that she's over-reacting. Fair enough. Next thing she says is what I've been waiting for.
"Will you, um, go out with me?"
Bwahaa! It's about TIME!
"sry Im not a lesbain"
Curse my crap typing skills. Oh well. It's a very true, yet very misleading statement. I have deliberately avoided anything that would say I was a boy or a girl JUST so I could say that.
She SHOULD have thought she'd been flirting with a girl. That's the whole point of me saying it. But oh no, she had to turn things around.
"Why would you need to be? It's not like I'm a girl or anything."
I have no idea how to respond. This... well, stalker-THING, has a seriously screwed up mind. It's already just about confirmed to me that it is female. Now it's indecisive.
I think Ryou's been friends with a person who has a serious identity crisis.
I'm about to respond, when Yami, Yugi and Ryou come back from the kitchen. Yami doesn't even have a mark from where the cat attacked him. Must've used the Millennium Puzzle to heal himself or something... well, he IS a spirit.
"I need to go to get some extra food for the party," I'm told, by Ryou. What party? Oh yeah, the party they arranged last night while I was half-asleep. That little get-together-and-watch-loadsa-movies party. With added food. "You three should be okay staying here. I'll be about an hour at the most."
I'm being left alone with a sex-crazed midget and a caffeine-high pharaoh who wants revenge for me embarrassing him and the cat attacking him?
Why do I NOT like this situation?
END OF PART 3
Should I put in a lemon next chappie? Lemon lemon? Yami/Yugi/Bakura threesome? Hm?