Sirius Black and the Freak Show Behind the Veil
By gopherisgood
Rating: pg-13 for swearing, just to be safe and so I don't have to change it later if I decide to write more
Summary: HA HA I got you to read it. Hey if it works for Lemony Snicket then why can't it work for me? Anyway, real summary. Sirius falls behind the veil and ends up somewhere rather unexpected…
Okie dokie I don't own Harry or the others. They belong to J.K Rowling and I don't own Stacie's Mom by Fountains of Wayne or Shut Up by the Black Eyed Peas.
Chapter one
I'm not in Kansas anymore, but then again I never was…
Sirius could hear Harry's muffled voice calling his name as he went through the veiled arch. He tried to call back to Harry, but could make no sound.
Sirius landed with a bump on something slightly squashy in the strangest place he'd ever been. As he got up he realised that he had landed on a witch. 'Oh crap, not again,' Sirius thought to himself as he knelt down to see if the witch was alright. "You killed her! Whoopee!" a high pitched voice called out from somewhere in the bushes next to Sirius and as he turned around to see what had made the happy cry, he saw a whole herd of little people coming towards him. They were all cheering and waving at Sirius. "You evil little ugly things," Sirius called to the mob of little people, "I just killed someone and you heartless people don't care!"
"Oh but its okay," said a woman in sparkly clothes as she put her hand on Sirius's shoulder, "You've done us a favour. Really. I mean how long would it have been before I got my weed whacker back if you hadn't killed her?"
The little people all nodded in agreement.
"Well, uh okay," Sirius said, still shocked, "whatever, but how do I get home? He asked the sparkly woman.
" Take these blue suede shoes and follow the puce vinyl path until you get to the guy at the place and he will send you home. But before you go some of the munchkins have a musical tribute to thank you for ridding us of the evil weed whacker stealing witch of the west." she said.
Then the crowd of munchkins parted to allow three ballerina girls to come forward. When they had reached Sirius they started to dance and sing. "Shut up, just shut up, shut up," they sang, "oh we're trying to take it slow but we're still losing control…"
When the shut up dancers had finished, they moved off and five little men in lederhosen came forward. Jerking their legs in time to the music they sang, "Stacie's mom has got it going on, Stacie's mom has got it going on…"
Sirius slowly backed away from the munckins and down the puce vinyl path. He definitely wasn't in Kansas anymore, but then again, he never was.